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The Beach.

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Eddie Mair | 05:52 UK time, Friday, 17 July 2009

beach13.jpg
Hello. Welcome to my beach.
It's a place to take all your inhibitions off and run into the sea and have a dip...
Go to the bar have a drink or just lay down and sun yourself...
because the sun always shines on the beach.
Be nice.
Say nice things.
Have a nice day.

Comments

  • 1. At 07:34am on 17 Jul 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    Ah! fresh warm sand between the toes. Quick dip before I start the brekkie.

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  • 2. At 07:59am on 17 Jul 2009, Wonko wrote:

    What ho!

    Porridge.

    Coffee.

    'Nuff said.

    ;o) []

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  • 3. At 08:49am on 17 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Morning Froggers, Peeps, Frogging Peeps and Peeps-a-Frogging!

    Sausauge sarnie for me please Mansaylo.

    I'll just plonk my self down here with a large mug of Wonko coffee and watch the camels playing in the surf!

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  • 4. At 08:51am on 17 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Actually Mansaylo, can I make that a Sausage sarnie as I think the Sausauges might be off!

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  • 5. At 08:57am on 17 Jul 2009, Fearless Fred wrote:

    A bacon sarnie would just hit the spot, with yellow ad red sauces, if I may :-)

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  • 6. At 09:02am on 17 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    FF, LOL would that be an orange sauce then?

    DiY ;-)

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  • 7. At 09:18am on 17 Jul 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    DIY/FF Custard??

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  • 8. At 09:26am on 17 Jul 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    Can I have some nuff said on toast?

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  • 9. At 09:38am on 17 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Mansaylo...go for it as I am sure FF would love a bacon sarnie with custard!

    Stewart M, curiosity has got the better of me! What on earth, or even this Beach, is nuff said on toast?

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  • 10. At 09:39am on 17 Jul 2009, Looternite wrote:

    The thought of juicy melons gets me up in the morning. Buttered baps does the same on other days

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  • 11. At 09:51am on 17 Jul 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    I'm not sure. Wonko offered it up at post 2 :-)

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  • 12. At 09:56am on 17 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Oh that "'Nuff said."!

    Well unless you have gained your Scout Leaders Wood Badge then you will have to remain in the dark about it.

    Wonko, are you having your "'Nuff said." with a side order of Gilwell relish?

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  • 13. At 10:00am on 17 Jul 2009, Looternite wrote:

    So was it Fairy Nuff who spoke

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  • 14. At 10:06am on 17 Jul 2009, Wonko wrote:

    DIY - how did you guess? Goes nicely with Eccles and Jam Roll too!

    ;o) []

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  • 15. At 10:29am on 17 Jul 2009, Wonko wrote:

    Looternite - Titter ye not! Nay, nay, thrice nay and nay again!

    ;o) []

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  • 16. At 10:34am on 17 Jul 2009, Looternite wrote:

    Re: 15 Wonko

    You made me smile because immediatly Frankie Howerd came to mind.

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  • 17. At 10:52am on 17 Jul 2009, Wonko wrote:

    Looternite - glad to be of service!

    ;o) []

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  • 18. At 11:05am on 17 Jul 2009, Looternite wrote:

    Thunderstorm over Luton at the moment. Have you noticed that since Gordon Brown became PM our summers have become more like Scottish summers.

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  • 19. At 11:09am on 17 Jul 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    We had the storms last night, Looternite, and they came quickly and without warning. Perhaps that's the difference between and Scottish and and English summer storm?

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  • 20. At 11:23am on 17 Jul 2009, U14056677 wrote:

    I wish this Beach 'long life'.

    A good idea to privilege it over worthy and serious AM Glass Box. With luck it will still be in the Showcase Three by Monday tea time. (Unless of course William Shatner gets hit by a meteorite from deep space.)

    By then it will be a national institution and the price of deck chairs, beach huts, candy floss and donkey rides here will have quidrupled.


    Caution: MPs may try to muscle in. They're all off on holiday, with time on their hands and less money to jingle. Don't trust them when they say the tide has turned.

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  • 21. At 11:37am on 17 Jul 2009, U14056677 wrote:

    Naff spread? Nuff said, my mate. (As we say in Brum-Brum.) No bovver I'll get some!

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  • 22. At 12:00pm on 17 Jul 2009, Looternite wrote:

    Before Gordon Brown we used to have hosepipe bans and droughts now my water butt overflows. What has he done to the weather.

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  • 23. At 12:02pm on 17 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Friaday Noon gun has just gone off.

    I declare the bar open, now who is having what?

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  • 24. At 12:07pm on 17 Jul 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    Frierday or Friarday, DiY? I suggest the latter and invite Friar Tuck to the feast.

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  • 25. At 12:08pm on 17 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    Ln 22, How's your bladder?

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  • 26. At 12:19pm on 17 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Big Sis I is not haveing a very goode day.
    All the keys on my keybord are their but fingurs just cant seam to hit the wright wuns.

    DiY :-P

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  • 27. At 12:28pm on 17 Jul 2009, Looternite wrote:

    Re: 25 David_McNickle

    Are we talking euphemisms here(I looked up the spelling that will please invisibleatheist). It reminds me a year or to back when the lady over the road invited me to go round and look at her magnolia, I had to have a look.

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  • 28. At 12:34pm on 17 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    Ln 27, You brought of full water butts.

    I just listened to the latest ISIHAC on iPlayer. Jack Dee is far better than either Stephen Fry or Rob Brydon as host.

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  • 29. At 12:43pm on 17 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    Ln, Make that 'up' instead of 'of'. Or is it 'off' instead of 'of'?

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  • 30. At 12:44pm on 17 Jul 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    Lunch anyone? Wonders if its safe to poke about in DIY's lunch box. He was keeping a pork pie there.

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  • 31. At 12:45pm on 17 Jul 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    I wouldn't poke around there, Stewart, if I were you. Or if you must, watch out for the sprouts.

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  • 32. At 12:49pm on 17 Jul 2009, Looternite wrote:

    # 28. David_McNickle

    I agree Jack Dee has been the best sofar and Rob Brydon has been the worst.

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  • 33. At 1:00pm on 17 Jul 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    BigSis. All I found was two sprouts and a sausage. They looked past their best ;-)

    When DIY reads this. that last sentence says. They looked an impressive. ;-)

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  • 34. At 1:00pm on 17 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Oi, Stewart M you keep your grubby mits off of my Melton Whopper!

    Re Jack Dee I agree!

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  • 35. At 1:15pm on 17 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Right matey now you really are for it!

    As Mrs DiY says, the only thing I have in common with Linford Christie is my lunchbox!

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  • 36. At 1:18pm on 17 Jul 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    Diy, you have miss read the sentence. It says Impressive. Honest.

    Puts my chipollata and two peas to shame!

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  • 37. At 1:58pm on 17 Jul 2009, U14056677 wrote:

    Double 'ell, is it?



    Is it jonnie-land, on the Jurassic Coast down there, Lyme Regis?

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  • 38. At 2:23pm on 17 Jul 2009, steelpulse wrote:

    I just had a quick look at my "inhibitions" Eddie - and I swear they are more.......

    Well - you now that old joke about an elederly lady asked rather foolishly what she remembered the "streaker", who had just run by her, was wearing?

    Lady replied after some thought - "I couldn't exactly tell you the designers name but what ever it was he had on - it needed ironing!"

    My inhibitions are more wrinkled than last year - I swear.

    I withdraw the last word of the previous sentence.

    We were asked to say nice things! No expletives. Okay. Sophie Raworth told me something I didn't know. Some countrys heat terst you before allowing you into the country. Border guards are looking for the symptons of "fever" from this bird flu.

    Too hot to handle? Ah - I was claiming this AM I felt unable to leave the country.

    Heat? That is why I am not allowed to leave? But such a high body temperature is the norm for me - said in all modesty.

    Next week Eddie - I expect a sensor on the entrance to this Beach. Then see if I am not correct. But if it goes off with any others proposing to use The Beach.......... lol

    Who knows whom I could be building sandcastles with.

    Yup - my inhibitions - I better keep them "on"

    Make sure you are insured = USA kin read me - sorry - U EEU

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  • 39. At 2:24pm on 17 Jul 2009, U14056677 wrote:

    DMcN, did you like the one about being sent in as night watchman and getting out stumped, 2nd ball, for six!


    Ah, Bonza Beach cricket at its best.

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  • 40. At 3:36pm on 17 Jul 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    Its friday so I think tea time has been cancelled and replaced by G&T time. Mine with tonic, crushed ice and lime please.

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  • 41. At 3:54pm on 17 Jul 2009, Wonko wrote:

    So that's a G&T&T then Stewart?

    ;o) []

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  • 42. At 3:59pm on 17 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Ah the old 3:36pm G&T&T&CI&L conundrum. Trickey!

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  • 43. At 4:12pm on 17 Jul 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    I'll Have lemon in my Tea and T in my G. That hits the spot.

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  • 44. At 4:15pm on 17 Jul 2009, Wonko wrote:

    And I'll have a slice of lemon wrapped around a gold brick please...

    ;o) []

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  • 45. At 4:20pm on 17 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    I would be gratefull if someone could rustle me up a 52 carat diamond with sliced lemon wrapping!

    :-D

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  • 46. At 5:10pm on 17 Jul 2009, RxKaren wrote:

    I am declaring this part of the beach an NVQ-free zone!

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  • 47. At 5:28pm on 17 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    RxKaren...go on you have awakened inquisitive side.....Why is the Beach an NVQ-free zone?

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  • 48. At 5:33pm on 17 Jul 2009, Fifi wrote:

    Our recent Japanese visitor introduced us to a new way of making ice for his whisky & soda. The ice takes ages to melt, and doesn't dilute the drink.

    1. 1/3-fill a whisky tumbler with hot water. (It makes clearer ice.)
    2. Put tumbler in fridge to freeze.
    3. When ice hard, pour drink over top as usual.

    Ice gradually melts as one big lump which floats on the top.

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  • 49. At 5:35pm on 17 Jul 2009, Fifi wrote:

    Me, I'll just have a regular G&T with 3 ice cubes and a slice of lemon please. All that hot water was frosting-up the freezer.

    ;o)

    PS I meant 'freezer' not 'fridge' at 48 above. Clearly I REALLY need that G&T!

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  • 50. At 5:41pm on 17 Jul 2009, RxKaren wrote:

    Just this bit here round me - I have spent the WHOLE WEEK assessing two NVQ3 Pharmacy submissions. Today at 4pm I was seriously losing the will to live after 7 18 hour days of assessment, feedback and reassessment. There is not a Toblerone big enough to help me over this.

    The submission deadline was 5pm. One of them made it. The other - well, I'm going back to work at 6ish (need my PM fix) to finish it (or the candidate) off. I'm estimating another 5 hours should sort it.

    I'm now ever so slightly overcaffeinated, have totally overdosed on confectionary and someone stole the packet of Revels I had to help me through today! They have become my new addiction.

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  • 51. At 5:45pm on 17 Jul 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    I think you need to see Eddie about the Revels, Karen - or, rather, Paddy. If you're quick, you might just catch him before he scoffs the lot!

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  • 52. At 5:48pm on 17 Jul 2009, RxKaren wrote:

    No - wasn't Eddie and Paddy. I tracked down the culprit and he will never steal chocolate from me ever again....

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  • 53. At 5:48pm on 17 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    Ln 32, I agree, and Brydon was quite good on the Swanee whistle (or was it the kazoo) as a member of the panel.

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  • 54. At 5:49pm on 17 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    TR 39, I mista mussed that.

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  • 55. At 7:37pm on 17 Jul 2009, U14056677 wrote:

    You could have had the toffs version (CMJ intoning Robin Marler's name) or the estate trash version (Tuffers telling it, tough)

    All on TMS, today.

    Your pride in St Albans, a certain party and in visiting France without the use of a Stannah is to be rewarded with the low down about....Beach cricket.

    A story about Larwood follows shortly

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  • 56. At 11:05pm on 17 Jul 2009, gossipmistress wrote:

    DMcN (28) I agree. I didn't laugh at all with Stephen Fry or Rob Brydon hosting and it was just all wrong. Jack Dee does seem to have the right degree of deadpan not-caring about him to maybe make it work.

    Anyone for a late night sniffta? I'm having rum & hot chocolate

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  • 57. At 09:00am on 18 Jul 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    Raise a glass to Henry Allingham.

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  • 58. At 09:03am on 18 Jul 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    Raise a glass to Nelson Mandela. Happy Birthday, Madiba!

    [Orange juice for me, please!]

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  • 59. At 09:33am on 18 Jul 2009, gossipmistress wrote:

    Morning All! Coffee (no extra shots available, sorry) fruit and pastries on the bar. Am in need of fortification for an event this evening....

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  • 60. At 09:50am on 18 Jul 2009, RxKaren wrote:

    Thanks GM - I really need another dose of caffeine. I didn't get home until 1.45am this morning - not partying but still sorting out THAT NVQ!! Funny how the evening went:

    6.30pm Candidate mildly irritated that she was missing a party
    7.30pm Reality of the workload dawning on her
    8.30pm Resentful that the other candidate didn't help her (other candidate had tried but got told to stop interfering by her)
    9.30pm Realisation dawns that we're not going to be done by 10.30pm
    10.30pm Promised to buy me chocolate every day for the next year.
    11.30pm Whining that I should have told her to work harder. Assessment plans have it documented that I did. I point this out.
    12.30am Candidate is starting to struggle to speak. Thankfully the whining has stopped. I'm still calm which isn't helping the situation.
    1.30am Just about signed off. Candidate has promised to generate 2 pieces of evidence every day for consideration when the portfolio gets thrown back at us.

    In my defence I asked her how long she wanted to go on and she said "Until we've finished it. I don't care if we're here till morning." I checked with her every 2 hours that she was willing to continue.

    Now off to a first aid duty. I can catch up on sleep later....

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  • 61. At 10:03am on 18 Jul 2009, pmmolly wrote:

    GM- Sounds delicious! Lots for me please...
    I do agree with you about Jack Dee. I thought SF was so unfunny. I got the feeling he wesn't at ease as well.

    Well. my car has failed it's MOT, the washing machine won't spin but who cares!
    It's a beautiful day ...

    Mollyxx

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  • 62. At 10:38am on 18 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    TR 55, You talkin' to me? Huh!? Are you? ARE YOU??!!

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  • 63. At 10:40am on 18 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    Now that we all seem to agree, I think Eddie should get up a petition to have the BBC keep Jack Dee as permanent host on ISIHAC.

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  • 64. At 10:54am on 18 Jul 2009, Looternite wrote:

    God its early for a saturday, Have been visited by grown up kids who have returned from Scotland after staying with family. They planned to go to Ben Nevis but they said it looked like it was going to rain. I reminded them that, in Scotland if it ain't raining it usually looks like its going to rain. They should have been braver. Tea and sympathy for RxKaren.

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  • 65. At 11:30am on 18 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    M 61, Take your dryer out for a spin.

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  • 66. At 11:32am on 18 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    Raies a glass to Walter Cronkite.

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  • 67. At 11:59am on 18 Jul 2009, gossipmistress wrote:

    Molly - in the words of Victor Meldrew -

    I simply don't believe it!!!

    I've just tried to wash my work uniforms and my washing machine is also refusing to spin and just leaving piles of soggy clothes! Do you think there's something in the air???

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  • 68. At 12:32pm on 18 Jul 2009, Looternite wrote:

    One of my brothers fixes washing machines, I'll ask him if he has had a surge in calls. I have fixed mine a few times and the last time, my ex-wife, backed up by our daughter, called me a tight git as I was going to fix it and not throw it out and buy new, the part cost about 20 pounds and it was up and running as good as, er a repaired machine could be. Mind you I am not known to treat minor things like faulty domestic appliances with a lot of urgency. So it was a few days before I completed the repair.

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  • 69. At 12:50pm on 18 Jul 2009, U14056677 wrote:

    62

    A bit of the old '69' for you.

    He was bowling in Alice Springs, on tour, in one of those 'Pommies prove they're not snobs' games.

    The umpire was a local man. Their local hero was first up.

    The first one from Harold he gloved to the keeper. 'Howzat' Larwood yelled. 'Naw' said the umpire

    Larwood thought 'Well, we all make mistakes'
    The second one, a yorker, the bloke went back to. It hit him on the toe cap. It would have shattered middle stump.
    'How WAS that?' LArwood enquired as a formality.
    'Not Out' said the umpire.
    The third one went between bat and pad and bowled the batsman so comprehensively, deep third man caught one of the bails and long leg the other.

    'HOW WAS THAT?' Larwood asked solemnly.

    The unpire said
    'Phew! That was close!'

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  • 70. At 2:19pm on 18 Jul 2009, U14056677 wrote:

    And Jack Dee is natural radio these days.

    Do you remember the skin and grief beanpole from end-of-pier variety shows who took alternative comedy by storm with his answer machine, sat nav and video recorder with attitude, describing a Dylan concert at Wembley as like putting his picture on an old LP cover down the bottom of his garden, looking at it through the lounge window and listening to the record playing in the next room?

    Ah, the hungry fighter finally getting (more than) enough to eat. His imagination now frequenting kitchens and homely cafes.

    Nonetheless, he is the best. SF is too self satisfied, RB too TOUCHINGLY self depreciating.

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  • 71. At 4:11pm on 18 Jul 2009, nikki noodle wrote:

    Molly, it IS a beautiful day!

    Is there to be a barbie tonight?
    n-n
    xx

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  • 72. At 5:23pm on 18 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    BBQ is fired up and ready to go. Ha anyone got some Prawns?

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  • 73. At 5:33pm on 18 Jul 2009, RxKaren wrote:

    Saw Boccia being played for the first time today. It's great! Can we have a bash at that?

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  • 74. At 5:38pm on 18 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Rx Karen I'm up fot it! In fact I have brought my red balls along already!

    DiY :-D

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  • 75. At 5:41pm on 18 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Re 72 & 74.. Has and for!!!

    The hazzard of typing and two glasses of chilled fermented apple juice!

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  • 76. At 5:42pm on 18 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    TR 69, I never appreciated baseball until I saw cricket.

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  • 77. At 5:43pm on 18 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    TR 70, Lead Balloon is funny.

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  • 78. At 5:45pm on 18 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    RxK 73, I saw a game of focaccia the other day.

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  • 79. At 6:01pm on 18 Jul 2009, RxKaren wrote:

    Re: Boccia - It was great! I tried to be all impartial and neutral (I was supposed to be first aiding) but by the end I was absolutely hooked. It was a great day anyway - a Challenge fixture for young disabled athletes. Really uplifting day. I'm covering another one for them in a month's time. I'm hoping that they'll be playing boccia again then.

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  • 80. At 6:05pm on 18 Jul 2009, U14056677 wrote:

    76
    I appreciated cricket even more after I saw baseball.

    77
    Yep.

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  • 81. At 6:31pm on 18 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    TR 80, I pitched softball for 15 years. Better than either cricket or baseball. Over in less than an hour.

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  • 82. At 6:32pm on 18 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    TR 80, Not that 15 years is over in less than an hour.

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  • 83. At 6:46pm on 18 Jul 2009, U14056677 wrote:

    81
    Pitches: My dad was a groundsman, sticky dogs in the rain his speciality.

    82
    I watched the World Series for 15 years for a hour last year on Channel 4.


    I liked 'Hey, Jeannie'

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  • 84. At 8:40pm on 18 Jul 2009, pmmolly wrote:

    GM-
    Well, I never did!!!!(What an odd saying, when you think about it....)
    Perhaps we should form a 'spinless society'...anyone else entitled to join?
    I do hope I wasn't instrumental in your situation- power of suggestion etc!
    I expect you were 'unevenly loaded'... I was!
    My 'man' is coming on Thursday. And yours???

    Now , where's n-n? I want to know where his BBQ is...

    Mollyxx

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  • 85. At 11:15pm on 18 Jul 2009, nikki noodle wrote:

    ...it's going spinningly tonight?!!!

    BBQ prawns, and by special request, BBQ sardines with lemon!
    And such fresh bread!!

    more champers anyone??!
    n-n

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  • 86. At 11:44pm on 18 Jul 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    David (65): I also salute him. A true media giant and will be missed by many.

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  • 87. At 11:49pm on 18 Jul 2009, gossipmistress wrote:

    Molly - I haven't been able to get hold of a 'man' yet to fix it, had to go out and sing this afternoon and evening... and am at work all week and away friday for 2 weeks so it looks like being 3 weeks unfixed :-(

    Just imagining coming home from Cornwall with 5 loads of washing and no machine..... I might just have a lie down in this hammock with a wee glass of something fortifying

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  • 88. At 00:01am on 19 Jul 2009, pmmolly wrote:

    n-n
    A little indigestible at such a late hour.
    But a glass of Champers would be lovely!
    Cheers!! xx

    GM
    Out of sight, out of mind!
    Have a super holiday- lucky thing!

    Mxx

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  • 89. At 10:00am on 19 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    TR 83, I remember watching it on 5. Baseball has disappeared from the regular channels (1-5) this year. I could pay to watch it, but not likely.

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  • 90. At 10:04am on 19 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    BS 86, You salute a dryer? Oh, you mean 66. Cronkite was a bit like Alistair Cooke. Both were institutions on US TV.

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  • 91. At 10:49am on 19 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Morning all, breakfast is running a bit late today but I have managed to rustle up some bacon and fried eggs, tuck in!

    Off out to take the Grandsons to see the exhibts at the Norwich Aviation Museum and then to watch Ice Age 3 or something at the flicks.

    I'll bring us back some buckets of popcorn!

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  • 92. At 11:48am on 19 Jul 2009, mittfh wrote:

    Just been roaming around YouTube, and discovered three new Videos of The Now Show's Mitch Benn, taken at this weekend's Latitude Festival:

    Mitch Benn - Aftrican Baby at Latitude 2009
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmSeK_xz7RY

    Mitch Benn - He Took My Phone, at Latitude 2009
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9MIgUkW9zY

    Mitch Benn - Love Handles at Latitude 2009
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5p_GKEwM9gQ

    (Hopefully the mods will recognise that as the above are links to the BBC's own YouTube channel, they'll leave them intact...)
    (Hint, hint!)

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  • 93. At 1:22pm on 19 Jul 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    mittfh: You don't happen to be a fan of Flywheel Shyster and Flywheel by any chance?

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  • 94. At 1:29pm on 19 Jul 2009, Fearless Fred wrote:

    GM, Molly, you know what they say about things happening in thress? Well, my washing machine decided to self destruct yesterday, throwing the drum off the motor so violently that it's left large dents in the drum :-( So, the trip to Croatia I'd started planning is off, so that I can replace it...

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  • 95. At 2:57pm on 19 Jul 2009, Little Red wrote:

    afternoon all. well it's a bit cloudy here in RL but I'm still headed off for a beach BBQ. My contribution is aubergine tikka so I've left a pile marinading on the bar. You just need to assemble the skewers grill it on the BBQ later for a taste sensation!

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  • 96. At 3:36pm on 19 Jul 2009, U14056677 wrote:

    89


    The taxi driver got them all singing
    'Take me'... (something, 'back'(?))...'to the ball game,
    Take me back to the..'
    And then
    'It's one, two three strikes and you're out
    In the old ball game'

    Lovely, before zero tolerance was to spoil the phrase.

    You must remember it, David. On Abot the same tinme as 'I lead three lives', a dour b and w affair. Thousands of episodes on wet Sunday sfternoons.

    He was both a marketing exec, family man etc (the sort made Betty Friedan scream, so to speak), a CIA agent and a RUSSIAN spy.

    He knew when MVD was contacting him cos the man in front of him in the bus queue (for it was him, different bloke each week) threw away his cigarette with his LEFT hand.

    He was CIA loyal. David, you MUST have been brought up by it. I was.

    Jeannie was Scots and her tartan skirt swirled and her tam o shanter topped an enchanting smile.

    She wasn't CIA. The taxi driver (bread winner of the family she lodged with) was a Wobbly.

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  • 97. At 5:49pm on 19 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    TR 96, 'Out', it is 'out' to the ball game. 'Buy me some peanuts (hence the peanuts in my latest Glass Box entry)and Cracker Jacks...', etc.

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  • 98. At 5:50pm on 19 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    4Ners, wot can you do with them?!

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  • 99. At 6:04pm on 19 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    TR 96, Richard Carlson, based on the life of Herbert Philbrick. Don't remember it. On the other hand, Eliot Ness was a ?public defender in Cleveland before becoming famous in The Untouchables.

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  • 100. At 6:16pm on 19 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    To be correct, make that Cracker Jack.

    http://gruggersway.today.com/files/2008/12/crackerjack2.jpg

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  • 101. At 6:39pm on 19 Jul 2009, pmmolly wrote:

    Ff (94)
    What a shame!Still, you still have a trip to look forward to.
    off to the bookshop with you.........

    mxx

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  • 102. At 9:17pm on 19 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    3 D Ice Age 3.....brill!

    Popcorn anyone?

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  • 103. At 9:45pm on 19 Jul 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    DIY That's good to know. MAy have to take kids to see it.

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  • 104. At 10:01pm on 19 Jul 2009, Gillianian wrote:

    Stewart M (103) No, it's okay....you're allowed in without any children. My grown-up daughter and her friends were child-free when they went to see it ;o)

    Thanks DIWy - toffee popcorn's my favourite! Here's a bucket of fizzy pop, and six straws, to go with it, if anyone wants to share it with me.
    *sssssssluuuuuuuuuurp*

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  • 105. At 11:28pm on 19 Jul 2009, gossipmistress wrote:

    FF (94) that's just spooky! (and also very annoying and frustrating - I sympathise). Must be something in the water.

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  • 106. At 05:52am on 20 Jul 2009, dennisjunior1 wrote:

    Please bring the sun and warmth to Upstate New York please and thanks...
    ~Dennis~

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  • 107. At 10:00am on 20 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    FF (94), LOL......you DID take the tissues and loose change out of your pockets first DIDN'T you?

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  • 108. At 12:57pm on 20 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    C'mon I KNOW i's Monday but there must be someone about who wants to come out an play.

    Go on Stewart M, I know you want to come out.

    Anyhoo, bagels and smoked salmon at NC's for lunch anyone?

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  • 109. At 1:52pm on 20 Jul 2009, Anne P. wrote:

    What game did you have in mind, DIY?

    Sorry not to have been around, internet connection was playing up at the weekend and RL got in the way also.

    Fresh sandwiches on the bar for late lunches.

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  • 110. At 3:47pm on 20 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Anne P how about ping pong? I'll ping and you can......

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  • 111. At 3:57pm on 20 Jul 2009, Anne P. wrote:

    you been reading our local news DIY ?

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/derbyshire/8158976.stm

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  • 112. At 4:22pm on 20 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    LOL..my goodness! Cracking idea that, or pehaps a Crackling idea that!

    DiY ;-)

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  • 113. At 4:49pm on 20 Jul 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    DIY last patient gone. So I will pong for you :-)

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  • 114. At 6:24pm on 20 Jul 2009, RxKaren wrote:

    THE PORTFOLIOS GOT THROUGH THE NVQ VERIFICATION!!!!!

    I am so thrilled I can almost forgive the candidates for the overwhelming feeling of exhaustion I've had all weekend.

    Anyone for champagne?!?!

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  • 115. At 6:26pm on 20 Jul 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    Crack open a bottle or two!

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  • 116. At 6:28pm on 20 Jul 2009, RxKaren wrote:

    Strawberries are supposed to go well with champers aren't they? I'll have a rummage and see if I can find any...

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  • 117. At 8:25pm on 20 Jul 2009, nikki noodle wrote:

    RxKaren: congratulations!

    if you requre a hand rummaging down there, just give a shout; I'm not sure i can even recognise a strawberry after all of Stewarts champers, but I am sure he will open another couple in a jiffy...

    n-n
    xx

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  • 118. At 10:14pm on 20 Jul 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    n-n I dont keep my champers down there. But I'll go and get another couple of bottles.

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  • 119. At 09:07am on 21 Jul 2009, Anne P. wrote:

    Morning all, I'm told champagne doesn't cause a hangover, but I'll tread gently just in case.

    Plenty of tea and coffee on the bar, together with fresh cross aunts, and I've plugged in the solar toaster.

    I'm glad the sun is shining here, looks like we won't see it in my neck of the woods before Saturday.

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  • 120. At 09:57am on 21 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Morning Peeps, cloudy and damp in Norfolk this a.m. so a mug of tea and crossaunt for me and then back to the IT Helldesk.



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  • 121. At 10:31am on 21 Jul 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Morning all. Bloody miserable in Norn Iron this morning too.

    Pretty bored this morning so I propose a sand castle competition, any takers.

    Buckets and spades I have. I've just parked the JCB(other digging equipment manufacturers are available) behind the bar for anyone feeling adventurous.

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  • 122. At 10:37am on 21 Jul 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    Thanks, TWIC, I could do with a bit of digging. Bags first go on the JCB.

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  • 123. At 11:08am on 21 Jul 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Big Sis - be my guest, I'm too busy with these pesky ramparts anyway ;-)

    *now where is that trowel?*

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  • 124. At 12:02pm on 21 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Hope no one minds but I will be using live ammunition in the cannon I have installed at top of the Keep.

    *now where is that troll?*

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  • 125. At 12:14pm on 21 Jul 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    DIY - don't forget your safety glasses :o)

    Has anyone seen the winch for the drawbridge? I know I left it somewhere.

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  • 126. At 12:38pm on 21 Jul 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    Hi folks, not only does the rain put me fags out, it keeps collapsing me sandcastle. SANDwiches anyone??

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  • 127. At 1:07pm on 21 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    The_Wrath_Is_Come, never mind the safety glasses, LOOK at the size of these balls!

    Mansaylo, can I have cheese and pickle please?

    And I have brought along some Fairy cakes, well actually Cross Dressing Buns but it was the nearest I could come up with.

    DiY :-P

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  • 128. At 1:43pm on 21 Jul 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    DIY - WOW!!!

    Mansaylo, could I have some beef and mustard? I'm starving!

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  • 129. At 2:20pm on 21 Jul 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    123: Do you want some cream for that? No, not the steroid cream - that's all been used up ...

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  • 130. At 3:18pm on 21 Jul 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    Pimms O'clock, the sun is threatening to come out and leap over the yard arm. Who's for a tipple?

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  • 131. At 4:19pm on 21 Jul 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    HMMMF!! Help....Sandcastle.....Collapsed....can't.....Pimms! HMMF!!!

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  • 132. At 5:08pm on 21 Jul 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    Hope those safety glasses are to EN166 and perhaps as its the beach some UV protection also.

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  • 133. At 08:35am on 22 Jul 2009, Anne P. wrote:

    Phew! the beach had dropped off the list of topical posts and I thought I'd never find my way back here.

    Strong tea being brewed to recover from the shock, I'll make coffee too. All on the bar in a few minutes.

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  • 134. At 09:47am on 22 Jul 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    Anne, I was worried about that when I glanced earlier today.
    Can I have a double expresso please? or put another way, two slices of coffee.

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  • 135. At 10:15am on 22 Jul 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    DIW 107, Frighten a Kleenex - Terrify tissue. Don't mind if you do.

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  • 136. At 10:25am on 22 Jul 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Morning all.

    I'll have a slice of coffee and two cups of toast please.

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  • 137. At 10:35am on 22 Jul 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Strange but true,

    A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

    I did not know that.

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  • 138. At 11:24am on 22 Jul 2009, U14056677 wrote:

    Its like one of those beaches after a huge spring tide.

    20 minutes ago it was Top of the Topicals, correctly boasting 137 posts. Now it's been swept away to 4 or 5.

    All right
    Stay bright.

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  • 139. At 11:42am on 22 Jul 2009, Anne P. wrote:

    TWIC (137) neither did I - how interesting - thank you.

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  • 140. At 11:44am on 22 Jul 2009, U14056677 wrote:

    Hey , and it's back to one!

    It's number one
    It's Top of the Topicals
    It's The BEACH

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  • 141. At 11:47am on 22 Jul 2009, U14056635 wrote:

    TWIC - Not so much 'an actual' unit of time but several different units of time depending on the context. A jiffy is used in various branches of physics, including quantum theory, and has different periods according to the application. It has also been used to denote various time elapses in computing and electrical studies.

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  • 142. At 11:54am on 22 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    TWIC (137) many thanks for the info.

    But isn't it also a plastic lemon?

    ;-)

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  • 143. At 12:41pm on 22 Jul 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    DIY 142 I always thought it was a padded envelope :o)

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  • 144. At 12:44pm on 22 Jul 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Also on a completely unrelated topic, I just heard that Charlie Chaplin once came third in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest.

    Can anyone confirm if thats true - I think this guy's spoofin' (_8(I)

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  • 145. At 12:57pm on 22 Jul 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    IT Helldesk - you gotta love 'em

    Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.
    Customer Ok.
    Tech Support: Did you get a pop-up menu?
    Customer: No.
    Tech Support: Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?
    Customer No.
    Tech Support:: Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
    point?
    Customer: Sure, you told me to write click and I wrote click.
    =====
    Customer: I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting
    the same error message.
    Tech Support:: Did you install the update?
    Customer: No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?
    =====(related (keywords: jokes)
    Customer:: Im having trouble installing Microsoft Word.
    Tech Support:: Tell me what youve done.
    Customer: I typed A:SETUP.
    Tech Support:: Maam, remove the disk and tell me what it says.
    Customer:: It says [PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk.
    Tech Support:: Insert the MS Word setup disk.
    Customer:: What?
    Tech Support: Did you buy MS word?
    Customer: No
    =====
    Customer:: Do I need a computer to use your software?
    Tech Support:: ?!%#$
    =====
    Tech Support:: Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see
    the OK button displayed?
    Customer: Wow. How can you see my screen from there?
    =====
    Tech Support:: What type of computer do you have?
    Customer:: A white one.
    =====
    Tech Support:: Type A: at the prompt.
    Customer:: How do you spell that?
    =====
    Tech Support: Whats on your screen right now?
    Customer: A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store.
    =====
    Tech Support:: What operating system are you running?
    Customer: Pentium.
    =====
    Customer: My computers telling me I performed an illegal abortion.
    =====
    Customer: I have Microsoft Exploder.
    =====
    Customer: How do I print my voicemail?
    =====
    Customer: Youve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document,
    but the computer wont boot properly.
    Tech Support: What does it say?
    Customer: Something about an error and non-system disk.
    Tech Support: Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?
    Customer: No, but theres a sticker saying theres an Intel inside.
    ======
    Tech Support: Just call us back if theres a problem. Were open 24 hours.
    Customer: Is that Eastern time?
    =====
    Tech Support:: What does the screen say now?
    Customer: It says, Hit ENTER when ready.
    Tech Support:: Well?
    Customer: How do I know when its ready?

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  • 146. At 1:35pm on 22 Jul 2009, Anne P. wrote:

    Thanks TWIC made me laugh out loud - and there may be some who think you jest!

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  • 147. At 2:00pm on 22 Jul 2009, U14056635 wrote:

    TWIC - Try this

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  • 148. At 2:43pm on 22 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    TWIC (145) are you bugging me? That is a typical day at our Helldesk!

    DiY :-P

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  • 149. At 2:46pm on 22 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    boysaboys (147) nice link....thanks

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  • 150. At 3:00pm on 22 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    T at 3 is now being served at NC's along with an assortment of milk and plain chocolate biscuits.

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  • 151. At 3:10pm on 22 Jul 2009, Anne P. wrote:

    Thanks, DIY, make mine a dark chocolate ginger nut please.

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  • 152. At 3:18pm on 22 Jul 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Thanks boysaboys that's that settled then.

    DIY P-P-P-P-P-P-Pick me up a taxi.

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  • 153. At 3:23pm on 22 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    *An Eddie Laird Mini Cab comes to a screaming halt in the car park behind NC's*

    "OK guv, taxi for Mr TWIC"

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  • 154. At 3:26pm on 22 Jul 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    TWIC/DIY. I once took my PC into the menders. I asked the guy what sort of day he was having. "Just the usual, today I did a round trip of 300 miles just to switch some guys PC on"

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  • 155. At 3:47pm on 22 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Mansaylo (154) Never ever take your PC to the menders!

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  • 156. At 4:02pm on 22 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Goodness the sun is well over the yard arm in Mumbai init...G & T's all round!

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  • 157. At 4:10pm on 22 Jul 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    Sun, what sun, DiY?

    Question: How do you define G&T time during a solar eclipse?

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  • 158. At 4:12pm on 22 Jul 2009, Fearless Fred wrote:

    Big Sis (157) It's defined as five minutes before the current time ;-)

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  • 159. At 4:41pm on 22 Jul 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    DIY 153 nonononono one of these.

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  • 160. At 5:25pm on 22 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Bluddy 'ell TWIC, not the old chocolate log thingy!

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  • 161. At 5:27pm on 22 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Being Discussed Now:-

    The Beach. (160)
    The PM Glass Box. (13)
    The AM Glass Box.(24)
    Social mobility.(52)
    Swine Flu. (7)


    I am so glad The Beach is leading the pack!

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  • 162. At 5:27pm on 22 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Magic

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  • 163. At 5:27pm on 22 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    There is a flaw..

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  • 164. At 5:27pm on 22 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    ..in this new Blog...

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  • 165. At 5:28pm on 22 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    ..guess what it is!

    DiY ;-)

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  • 166. At 7:11pm on 22 Jul 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    DIY - A dent?
    Or a scratch maybe?
    Cmon don't keep it to yourself ;-)

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  • 167. At 8:15pm on 22 Jul 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    I give in. Can we use £ signs?

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  • 168. At 10:22pm on 22 Jul 2009, gossipmistress wrote:

    I don't know DiY.....

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  • 169. At 10:22pm on 22 Jul 2009, gossipmistress wrote:

    Is it that you can....

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  • 170. At 10:22pm on 22 Jul 2009, gossipmistress wrote:

    sign in on several .....

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  • 171. At 10:22pm on 22 Jul 2009, gossipmistress wrote:

    windows at once?

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  • 172. At 10:34pm on 22 Jul 2009, needsanewnickname wrote:

    Lady Sue! The World Tonight discussing the sudden geographical shift that brings Australia and NZ a few cms nearer each other and the friendly (?) rivalry they enjoy:

    Kathy Lette (a professional Aussie?) mentions the convict factor... NZ settlers going free...

    Well! At least one of my Oz ancestors was a free settler, so nyer. She's the one we know almost nothing about. The two thieves and one other criminal (still a work in progress) are a bit run of the mill desperately poor types, but I think my Irish rebel/freedom fighter (choose your label) of 1798 is worth a handful of snooty free settlers. So there.

    (Sorry, Annasee. Your family excepted, of course)

    ;o)

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  • 173. At 10:39pm on 22 Jul 2009, needsanewnickname wrote:

    Oh, DI and gossymrs, you could do that in the old one, too. So it's not a new flaw. And heaven knows there are still enough of those to have put me off for a few days.


    TWIC, you might be surprised at the number of people I know who call Explorer 'exploder'; usually Firefox types, it must be said...

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  • 174. At 10:47pm on 22 Jul 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Really Frances? Well it's a new one for me, made me guffaw like a champion earlier.

    Never tried firefox, maybe I'll download it to see what all the shouting is about.

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  • 175. At 10:55pm on 22 Jul 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    Firefox works well. I prefer to exploder. Though latest exploder is better. its e mail program (thunderbird) also a good alternative to outback express.

    Find Safari (the mac offering) won't do my banking software.

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  • 176. At 11:46pm on 22 Jul 2009, needsanewnickname wrote:

    Gave safari up when I discovered firefox.

    TWIC, didn't mean to put a stop to your laughter - it is a good one.

    Each to their own re browsers, though, innit, and I dare say us maccies might sound a bit self-satisfied sometimes.

    With reason, of course (hides behind dunequickly)

    Or even hides in hammock. Beddy-byes time.

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  • 177. At 11:48pm on 22 Jul 2009, needsanewnickname wrote:

    Oh, but quickly - 'outback express' - giggle

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  • 178. At 00:08am on 23 Jul 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    Well I have dabbled with Linux for a week and have managed to loose my GUI. So am now playing with windoze 7. I am impressed so far.

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  • 179. At 07:14am on 23 Jul 2009, Little Red wrote:

    morning all. coffee is gurgling and tea is in that giant teapot on the bar.

    I'm having choccie cereal for breakfast to get me in a good mood for a day of hard graft at the 'puter. I'll put the box on the side in case anyone else is in need of a pick me up. It's apparently muesli so you can even pretend you're "healthy". For the rest I have juices, fresh fruits, yoghurts and cross aunts all waiting to be gobbled.

    I'll be back for a well earned Pimms a bit later. save me a hammock.

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  • 180. At 07:15am on 23 Jul 2009, Anne P. wrote:

    Morning all, having bounced back from a wormhole leading from Whitby, I am dashing through to leave a selection of everyone's favourites on the bar. Hope to be around later.

    GM - how did you do that? Does signing on in several windows (or tabs) really subvert the repeat posting timer?

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  • 181. At 08:42am on 23 Jul 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Morning all, V tired today so I'll have a triple slice of coffee please and some of that chocolate muesli sounds brill little red.

    Re "outback express" - early morning chuckle always good for the soul.

    Catch up with you all later.

    :-))

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  • 182. At 09:00am on 23 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Morning Peeps, thanks for the great breakfast offerings!

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  • 183. At 10:27am on 23 Jul 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    Help! I'm trapped in some kind of time warp ....... Eeeek! it's on the move again ......... arghhhhh......................!!!!!!!!!

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  • 184. At 10:41am on 23 Jul 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    I think Ivegottwoasbos is stranded on the last beach .... I'll throw him a line ....

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  • 185. At 11:45am on 23 Jul 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    And now he's turned into a number ...

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  • 186. At 12:06pm on 23 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    .....and as the echoes of the noon day gun fade away our attention turns to the rich lunch pickings at NC's - I have left a Tuna* Salad there for all.

    * other dolphin friendly fish are avaialable!

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  • 187. At 12:09pm on 23 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    *shouts at top of voice*

    Oi...U14079256, we are all over here!

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  • 188. At 12:45pm on 23 Jul 2009, U14079441 wrote:

    I have decided that I am not the definite article and therefore I will be indefinite indefinitely, even though I remain intermittent.

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  • 189. At 12:45pm on 23 Jul 2009, U14079441 wrote:

    I hope that is clear.

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  • 190. At 12:46pm on 23 Jul 2009, U14079441 wrote:

    And if it is, could someone explain it to me?

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  • 191. At 12:51pm on 23 Jul 2009, U14079441 wrote:

    DIY (187) - No use shouting - he breached one of his ASBO's and has been put inside.

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  • 192. At 1:14pm on 23 Jul 2009, nikki noodle wrote:

    cripes - its all change, again! Welcome Horse! Are you stopping this time?!
    And Big Sister's doing the Time Warp,
    And DIY has found the flaw but is staying schtum.

    Time for lunch, anyone fancy strawberries and icecream for starters? I think we can save all the main stuff for dessert....

    n-n
    xx

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  • 193. At 1:14pm on 23 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    AIH (190) way too many negative vibes there mate so it will be a nope.

    and

    AIH (191) a shame, I was rather lookng forward to meeting him!

    DiY %-}

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  • 194. At 1:18pm on 23 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    nn (192) you want to treat my Tuna Salad a dessert? Get a grip lad!

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  • 195. At 1:40pm on 23 Jul 2009, U14056677 wrote:

    Welcome to the Horse, 189-191

    He'll get on well with donkeys like me.


    Can we twin this Beach with


    http://www.birmingham.gov.uk/monarch-beach.bcc

    please.

    It's not usually that over-crowded, like here, and it also has it in common that it's for those for whom RL is a(n inner city) desert.

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  • 196. At 2:44pm on 23 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    ThinkerRetired (195) Why go all the way to Brum when there is a far better beach here!

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  • 197. At 3:52pm on 23 Jul 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    I sooner go as far as possible from any cold, windswept beach in UK. Anywhere tropical with palm trees, camels, free bar, hammocks, warm sea etc, etc. In fact, this beach will do nicely. Pimms all round, G & T's for those that prefer it. The sun's in his heaven etc. Chin chin.

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  • 198. At 4:04pm on 23 Jul 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Cheers Mansaylo! Your an angel!

    DiY ;-)

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  • 199. At 4:14pm on 23 Jul 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Can I break with the norm and have a G & Pimms?

    Down the hatch etc. etc.

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  • 200. At 11:30pm on 23 Jul 2009, dennisjunior1 wrote:

    Eddie: Thanks for the beautiful picture, at the Beach in the Northern Parts of New York...No beach weather!

    ~Dennis Junior~

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