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The Beach.

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Eddie Mair | 05:51 UK time, Friday, 29 May 2009


"Welcome to The Beach, a very special place on the PM Blog.
The sun shines, the drinks are free, there are more than enough sun loungers and hammocks to go round, and the camels are friendly. So, take a break from your day to day stresses and strains and relax.
There are only two rules; 1) be nice to everyone, and 2) don't eat the petunias."


  • 1. At 06:16am on 29 May 2009, yellowlegionaire wrote:

    Cukoo seen am.10.05.09.near Widecombe in the Moor Dartmoor Devon.

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  • 2. At 06:40am on 29 May 2009, dennisjunior1 wrote:

    Good day, Eddie and the PM team

    Good day to all of my friends here....

    i hope that the weather is pretty good...and hot

    ~Dennis Junior~

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  • 3. At 07:02am on 29 May 2009, Little Red wrote:

    Morning all. Back from a relaxing trip to blighty to top up all my luxuary supplies.

    Suppose I should get breakfast started - I spotted some coconut, melon and pineapple along the beach which I'll go and grab whilst the kettle boils and coffee gurgles.

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  • 4. At 07:23am on 29 May 2009, Izzy_Tme wrote:

    Blimey, even when I'm up and about (can't sleep, birds are far too loud this morning) there's someone beaten me to it! Anyway, I'll help Little Red and get some bacon and eggs going - orders please....

    btw, Good Day to you too, DJ! Oh, and the rest of you too, of course. :o)

    Now, for those of you who are still unaware (with apologies to those who've lived through it with me!) I have now finished my four years of uni and I await the results! So, I'm footlose and fancy free, except for the finding a job and paying of the debts, bit......!

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  • 5. At 08:40am on 29 May 2009, Lady_Sue wrote:

    Good morning everyone. A brand new beach! How wonderful. There were a bunch of drunks (collective noun?) on the last one singing lewd ditties into the wee hours and I couldn't sleep.

    Congratulations Izzy!

    Does that photo represent a frogger fleeing from civilisation?

    Time for a swim - look forward to breakfast on return, thanks Little Red and Izzy.

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  • 6. At 08:42am on 29 May 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    Mornin' folks. Bacon sarnie with ketchup for me along with a mug of strong coffee. Lovely morning, wish I could sleep longer though. Up at 5 O'clock, knackered by early evening. I'll have to take a mid-morning nap before my pre-prandial snooze.

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  • 7. At 08:43am on 29 May 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    Izzy, I've set up a special hammock for you in the palm trees. It features built in muffles (to assist in long lie ins), and special padding to ensure the most profound of rests.

    You deserve it!

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  • 8. At 08:54am on 29 May 2009, Septic wrote:

    Lady Sue (6) The picture is Little Red going for the coconut, melon and pineapple.

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  • 9. At 08:55am on 29 May 2009, Septic wrote:

    sorry - meant (5) not (6)

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  • 10. At 09:01am on 29 May 2009, Wonko wrote:

    What ho!

    I can report that the weather is hot and sunny in the Nation's Capital. Stand by for headlines in the papers with small pages and big print saying words to the effect of "Phew! What a Scorcher!" These usually to be accompanied by pictures of scantily clad young females at the beach/in the park/at a random location you wouldn't normally associate with the briefer forms of beach attire. Stand by also for the London media to report in large fonts what the average temperature was on the Tube and on London buses - often compared with the hottest temperatures you're allowed to transport livestock in. Predictable and yet somehow very British.


    ;o) []

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  • 11. At 09:02am on 29 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Morning Froggers, Peeps, Frogging Peeps and Peeps-a-Frogging!

    yellowlegionaire, congrats!

    DJ, the RL weather is glorious in my part of Norfolk, but boo hoo I am stuck on the Helldesk all by myself today so can only gaze out at it.

    Hi LR, what a wonderful collection of luxuaries you have!

    Nice one Izzy and good luck with the job hunting.

    Lady_Sue, love your breast stroke.

    Big Sis, I have added a towel so Izzy can be a really Froopy guy.

    Mansaylo, can I have a bacon sarnie with brown sauce please?


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  • 12. At 09:04am on 29 May 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Morning all! And Happy Friday.

    Haven't been about recently, it's been hectic in RL this week.

    I'll join Mansaylo for a bacon sarnie please Izzy.

    If anyone's interested in the saga of the chicken pox (see previous beaches) now daughter #1 has them and it' s worse than for her sister - yikes!

    Lady_Sue - you coould have called the Beach Police I'm sure that the singing of Lewd songs into the wee hours is a breach of noise pollution laws ;-)

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  • 13. At 09:05am on 29 May 2009, Fearless Fred wrote:

    Morning one and all :-) Just a quick stop for a coffee just now, as I have a few things to sort out in RL for work. Will pop back later for a long swim:-)

    Congrats, Izzy!

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  • 14. At 09:22am on 29 May 2009, Lady_Sue wrote:

    Septic: thanks for explanation. She'll be back in no time.

    Mr. Wrath: loved the beach police! Tasty. Will be concocting misdemeanours in order to facilitate raid by same. My favourite is the four legged one.

    Don't want to hear how glorious weather is in RL. It's overcast, gloomy and cold here. Thank goodness for the gloriously sunny beach.

    Do stop talking bacon sarnies! What is it about them that if someone mentions them, you want one?

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  • 15. At 09:47am on 29 May 2009, Fifi wrote:

    Morning all! Now, in honour of Fearless Fred's release from captivity

    * pause for more celebrating *

    I declare the new Beach ... Free Range Strand.

    Jewel-encrusted neon-illuminated signpost erected at the jetty, and Fabio and the lovely Samantha are saluting all new arrivals in the usual manner with palm fronts and not much else.

    Bucks fizz, anyone?

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  • 16. At 09:52am on 29 May 2009, Anne P. wrote:

    Fifi - palm fronts - palm fronds - it's no good my Friday brain has just given out. A large bucks fizz and the hammock next to Izzy please.

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  • 17. At 10:03am on 29 May 2009, pmmolly wrote:

    Morning everyonne!
    Loads been happening I see..
    Before I get m'specs on an really immerse myself in the briny, do have some coffee amd walnut ''gateau''- a new recipe . Hope it's nice....

    (Please save a large piece for n-n....)


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  • 18. At 10:25am on 29 May 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    Lady Sue, it's the same with chip shop chips. Just the smell of them wafting around the beach/office makes me want to get some for myself.

    I'll pop out to the chip shop later - place your orders before eleven thirty.

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  • 19. At 10:38am on 29 May 2009, Septic wrote:

    Still waiting for the morniong mist to burn off here - should be gone soon.

    DI (11) - have fun on the Helldesk, I'm off to do a bit of shopping and then I' meeting a friend for a nice long pub lunch not far from where todays beach photo was taken.

    Must make the most of the peace and quiet before the leather clad crowds descend on us for the TT races.

    Did your boy get a campsite sorted?

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  • 20. At 10:44am on 29 May 2009, Gillianian wrote:

    Hello, one and all - and a special welcome back to FFred and Izzy ;o)

    Hmm....bacon and egg sarnies, tropical fruit, gateau......

    Mansaylo, can I have my chips at tea-time please? I might have worked up a new appetite by then!

    There's a jug of sangria chilling in the fridge. Happy Friday!

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  • 21. At 11:04am on 29 May 2009, Wonko wrote:

    Feefs - Gave the sausage risotto a try last night and it was a resounding success! Added a few twists of my own; flavoured the rice with turmeric, a dash of cumin, some nutmeg and a couple of bay leaves. Also used up a long, pointy sweet red pepper that had been hanging around the fridge waiting for a suitable recipe, and some frozen green beans. Went down a storm, so I'll definitely be doing that again. Ta!

    ;o) []

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  • 22. At 11:25am on 29 May 2009, Sid wrote:

    Haddock and chips please Mansaylo. (Am I in time?)

    snooze ...

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  • 23. At 11:26am on 29 May 2009, Sid wrote:

    Anne P - with fronds like those, who needs anemones?

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  • 24. At 11:30am on 29 May 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Mansaylo - Did I make the chip run?

    Chip butty for me please.

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  • 25. At 11:31am on 29 May 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Oh.. with tomato ketchup please.

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  • 26. At 11:32am on 29 May 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Full house on the recent comments!!!

    Get in!

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  • 27. At 11:33am on 29 May 2009, Fearless Fred wrote:

    Sid (23) Groan!!!! ;-)

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  • 28. At 11:34am on 29 May 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    Just off to the chippy. 46 portions of chips, 27 haddock, 19 cod, 15 saveloys, 32 slices bread and butter. Need a couple of pack camels to carry the order. All on the bar in half an hour. No fighting please!!

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  • 29. At 11:44am on 29 May 2009, Anne P. wrote:

    I've just been polishing up an old brass oil lamp till it gleams, but no sign of the genie. What am I doing wrong?

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  • 30. At 11:46am on 29 May 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Anne P - are you wearing the compulsory turban?

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  • 31. At 11:47am on 29 May 2009, Fearless Fred wrote:

    Anne, if you were polishing the back of a camel, and a genie appeared, would it be the Genie Of The Lump?

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  • 32. At 12:00pm on 29 May 2009, Sid wrote:

    Hmm ... wild beaver ...

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  • 33. At 12:01pm on 29 May 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    Sid, off to the naughty step for you!

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  • 34. At 12:12pm on 29 May 2009, Lady_Sue wrote:

    Can definitely tell it's Friday today.

    Any chips left?

    Can we bring forward Pimms O'Clock - or better still bring forward the time zone on the beach so sun-over-yardarm hits about 2pm?

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  • 35. At 12:22pm on 29 May 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    Lady Sue. You can have some of my chips. Can I interest you in a length of saveloy??

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  • 36. At 12:25pm on 29 May 2009, Fifi wrote:

    * faints *

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  • 37. At 12:27pm on 29 May 2009, Lady_Sue wrote:


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  • 38. At 12:37pm on 29 May 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:


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  • 39. At 12:42pm on 29 May 2009, Wonko wrote:

    *raises one eyebrow*

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  • 40. At 12:44pm on 29 May 2009, T8-eh-T8 wrote:

    *passes the tissues*

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  • 41. At 12:50pm on 29 May 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    Drat! I've been beaten to comments about the Beavers by Sid.

    mansaylo, my Chippy does a great Battered Sausage.

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  • 42. At 12:53pm on 29 May 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Stewart - It's a long time since I had a battered sausage.

    OK OK. the naughty step. I know.

    Hi Sid, how's things?

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  • 43. At 1:02pm on 29 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Does anyone want some of my spotted dick for pudding?

    Septic, he isn't going to the TT, bike problems, so that's one less to avoid!

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  • 44. At 1:02pm on 29 May 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    I'll join you on the step. After stuffing those Beavers this morning I think I need rest.

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  • 45. At 1:03pm on 29 May 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    Diy, have you taken it to the GP?

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  • 46. At 1:04pm on 29 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Stewart M, she refered me to a VET!

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  • 47. At 1:05pm on 29 May 2009, Izzy_T-Me wrote:

    *yawn* *stretch*

    Oooh, a lovely glass of bucks fizz, a 'froopy' towel (what IS that?) and the rather tempting smell of f&c - mmm, I must be in a very comfortable hammock on the beach!

    Thank you guys and gals, what stars you all are :o)

    I'm just going to lie here having a sip of bf and throw down a chip or two before taking a leisurely stroll along the waters edge. Anyone care to join me later?

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  • 48. At 1:06pm on 29 May 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    DIY, So who is going to hold it whilst you put it down?

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  • 49. At 1:13pm on 29 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Stewart M, no one is, she recommended smothering it with warm custard!

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  • 50. At 1:24pm on 29 May 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    Warm not Hot I hope.

    Izzy, Waters Edge is where we had our wedding reception.

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  • 51. At 1:43pm on 29 May 2009, Lady_Sue wrote:

    Stewart, are you and Izzy married?

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  • 52. At 1:52pm on 29 May 2009, Sid wrote:

    I think we need to build an extension to the naughty step ... I suppose we could put it on expenses.

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  • 53. At 2:10pm on 29 May 2009, Lady_Sue wrote:

    Sid: can we have floating frog houses too? And a moat?

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  • 54. At 2:13pm on 29 May 2009, Wonko wrote:







    ;o) []

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  • 55. At 2:19pm on 29 May 2009, steelpulse wrote:

    Goodness me. I need a sit down. Another lets get 'im MoP moment head of the TV news. I feel sorry for them all in a way.

    Oh yes. I dont remember it myself; too young, but when asked who I wanted to be when I grew up?

    I am supposed to have replied "Mr Eddie Mair".

    I suspect what I ACTUALLY said was the Lord Mayor but then the reporter of the incident was a bit deaf.

    Whom the deities wish to destroy, they first make mad

    Well that explains Eddie, allegedly. Lol

    But seriously. Susan Boyle. I weep looking at the Red Top front pages. Poor woman.

    Why do they - WE - do that?

    I was once accused of being too shy and people still wonder why? I would note that despite more than 3 years of losing and complaining - and being circled - I am STILL here though.

    The Gloom that is Portuguese I read is again thinking through his options this summer. An annual event nowadays aint it?

    James Cromwell in that not a Busby "Babe" film comes to mind. What was it he said? Allegedly "Let us be rid of you!"

    No offence. James Cromwell? Or was that another Cromwell? lol

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  • 56. At 2:20pm on 29 May 2009, Gillianian wrote:

    Wonko - why????

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  • 57. At 2:21pm on 29 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Gillianianian, why Wonko indeed!

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  • 58. At 2:26pm on 29 May 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Go on Wonko "relieve yourself"...

    It is Friday after all.

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  • 59. At 2:36pm on 29 May 2009, funnyJoedunn wrote:

    Hi everybody,

    I don't usually post on this thread,

    "Go on Wonko relieve yourself"

    Yeah, right, er...perhaps I might pop back again sometime.

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  • 60. At 2:38pm on 29 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Yeah come on Wonko don't bottle it up, just whip it out!

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  • 61. At 2:46pm on 29 May 2009, T8-eh-T8 wrote:

    Wonko there is no point grasping hold and clinging on to all that tension.

    Let it flow.

    Allow the rigidity to fall from your body and relax into a gentle and sustainable body rhythm.


    Does that feel nice?

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  • 62. At 2:49pm on 29 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Can anyone hear that low pitched hum?

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  • 63. At 2:59pm on 29 May 2009, Lady_Sue wrote:

    * woken by low pitched hum *

    What time is it? Oh goody!

    Pimms anyone?

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  • 64. At 3:02pm on 29 May 2009, T8-eh-T8 wrote:

    What exactly is Pimms?

    Not that I drink it very often, but I am not even sure what it is.

    Thank You Lady Sue.

    No, one of the large glasses please.

    Whadaya mean that a vase?

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  • 65. At 3:05pm on 29 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Izzy! re Froopy, as you need something to occupy yourself with may I suggest read the excellent Hitch Hiker's Guide To The Galaxy, a trilogy of four parts by Douglas Adams.

    One Thursday lunchtime Earth is unexpectedly demolished to make way for a new hyperspace bypass. For Arthur Dent, who has only just had his house demolished that morning, this is already more than he can cope with. Sadly, however, the weekend has only just begun. And the Galaxy is a very, very large and startling place indeed ...

    You will then discover the importance of having a towel and being a froopy dude!

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  • 66. At 3:06pm on 29 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:


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  • 67. At 3:16pm on 29 May 2009, Wonko wrote:

    Well, all this talk of stuffing beavers, whipping it out and letting it flow after being all stiff is enough to turn a man to drink.

    If I give you all a big one will you hold it against me?

    Oh good, Pimms O'Clock.

    Now strictly speaking when we talk about Pimms we're referring to Pimms No.1 Cup, which is a blend of gin with spices and other ingredients. This is the original drink invented by a Mr Pimms at his London pub. It went into large scale production in the 1850s. Subsequently other versions or "cups" were created based on other spirits; brandy, whisky, rum, etc. These have been phased out since the 1980s. Recently No.3 Cup (Brandy) with re-introduced as the "Winter Mixture" with spices and orange as additional ingredients. The No.1 Cup can be drunk on its own, but is more usually used as a mixer, often served with lemonade, fruit, cucumber and mint as a refreshing summer drink.

    How's that?

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  • 68. At 3:21pm on 29 May 2009, T8-eh-T8 wrote:

    Thank You chaps - much obliged. So it is generally gin based.

    Lady goes into a cocktail bar and asks for an innuendo.

    So the barman gives her a large one.

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  • 69. At 3:44pm on 29 May 2009, mittfh wrote:

    Another lazy Friday afternoon on the helpdesk, with the air con keeping the internal temperature 0.1°C below the reported external temperature (I can't imagine the temperature in Warwick being significantly different from Cov).

    I've noticed in the various supermarkets that cupcakes made by a bakery that describe themselves as fabulous seem to be on BOGOF - so I've brought a couple of packs (IRL for the team as well as virtually!).

    I'll leave others to bring booze for the NC Bar, so I'll fill the freezer with ice cube trays instead...

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  • 70. At 3:52pm on 29 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    mittfh re temperature in Warwick being significantly different from Cov, it's bound to be as Coventry is so much further North than Warwick!

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  • 71. At 4:03pm on 29 May 2009, mittfh wrote:

    Actually, the reported temperature for Coventry isn't recorded at Coventry...


    Observed at 14:00 on Friday 29th May
    All times are BST (Europe/London, GMT+0100)

    Observation station: Church Lawford
    (Lat: 52.367 | Lon: -1.333)

    7.8 miles / 12.56km from Coventry
    * Sunny Intervals
    * Temp: 23°C (73°F)
    * Wind: E 10mph
    * Hum: 57%
    * Press: 1030mB, falling
    * Vis: Very good

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  • 72. At 4:11pm on 29 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    T8-eh-T8, there is actually a little known and quite rare Pimms No.7 Cup.

    Accidentally created from fermenting Sprouts.

    I believe Sid has the secret recipe!

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  • 73. At 4:13pm on 29 May 2009, Sid wrote:

    Schhhhhh ...

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  • 74. At 4:21pm on 29 May 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    I just started making a gallon of redcurrant wine. Very nice in hot weather. Like a nice rose (With the accent over the e. How about rose' ?) Won't be ready for several months, though. Before you ask, last years crop from the freezer.

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  • 75. At 4:23pm on 29 May 2009, mittfh wrote:

    T8 (64): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pimm%27s

    HTH, HAND :)

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  • 76. At 4:24pm on 29 May 2009, mittfh wrote:

    Me@75: I forgot to add: Other alcoholic beverages are available :)

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  • 77. At 4:34pm on 29 May 2009, Izzy_T-Me wrote:

    Lady Sue (51) - um I think Mrs Stewart M would have something to say about that! Oh, and Mr Izzy T'Me, come to that!!

    Stewart (50) - that's amazing to have had your wedding reception here on the beach - wow! ;o)

    I see DiY, I see, clear as mud, but I may just do that. I've tried reading it before and watched some of the progs, but not come to much. I think I didn't really like the terrible prop of the second head on whathisname.... I might have another go though.

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  • 78. At 4:40pm on 29 May 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    Well last px today been and gone. I should do some of the stock take but their is a large discrepancy in the Pimms stock. Its too hot to work out why.

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  • 79. At 4:46pm on 29 May 2009, Anne P. wrote:

    Blog's gone slightly dotty - I'm seeing a gap between posts 2 & 11 and posts 9 & 10 are after 78.

    What was that about missing Pimms????

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  • 80. At 4:47pm on 29 May 2009, Stewart_M wrote:


    Other public houses are avaialable

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  • 81. At 4:49pm on 29 May 2009, Anne P. wrote:

    Scrambled order on multiple threads!

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  • 82. At 4:49pm on 29 May 2009, Fearless Fred wrote:

    Oh 'eck! What's happening to the beach? Posts are scattered everywhere...

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  • 83. At 4:53pm on 29 May 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    FF 82, Same on yesterday's Glass Box, once you find it.

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  • 84. At 4:54pm on 29 May 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    Id blame it on too much of my homemade redcurrant wine, but it isn't ready to drink yet.

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  • 85. At 4:57pm on 29 May 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Has someone been messing with the space-time continuumuum again?

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  • 86. At 4:59pm on 29 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Crikey! a new numbering method and I have only just got my head round hexadecimal and octal!

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  • 87. At 5:00pm on 29 May 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Has someone been messing with the space-time continuumuum again?

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  • 88. At 5:00pm on 29 May 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Has someone been messing with the space-time continuumuum again?

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  • 89. At 5:08pm on 29 May 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    I figured it out. The Wrath Is Come on The Beach.

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  • 90. At 5:11pm on 29 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Hi Wrath, don't 'spose you brought some tools with you to fix the blog!

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  • 91. At 5:12pm on 29 May 2009, Fifi wrote:

    Joe - lovely to see you here! I've left a German towel on the li-lo next to mine, if you feel like returning for a bit of a lie down after all that hectic posting this week. By gum it's been a busy blog!

    Lady Sue -the ermine towel on the li-hi on the other side is just for you.

    And now... time for my first Pimms of the day methinks. I have a busy evening of debauched folk music to endure this evening, and must fortify myself.


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  • 92. At 5:12pm on 29 May 2009, David_McNickle wrote:

    All fixed. The bill is in the post.

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  • 93. At 5:15pm on 29 May 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    Hi DIY sorry I don't carry st...

    Tools right, tools gotcha :-)

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  • 94. At 5:16pm on 29 May 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    D_M @89 over here, there's room on the naughty step for everyone ;-)

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  • 95. At 5:22pm on 29 May 2009, mittfh wrote:

    Hmm....as I write, all 94 comments on this Beach appear in the correct sequencing order...

    As they did when I posted 75 and 76...

    So what happened in the meantime?

    If it's all timey-wimey, wibbly-wobbly stuff, then perhaps it was due to this news story:


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  • 96. At 5:25pm on 29 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:


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  • 97. At 5:46pm on 29 May 2009, nikki noodle wrote:

    Hi all!!!

    well done Izzy!!! Footloose and fancy free - this is the place to be!!

    Hang on, whose comment was that on the radio???!


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  • 98. At 5:46pm on 29 May 2009, funnyJoedunn wrote:

    Fifi (91)


    Thanks for the invite Fifi. Yep, its been and anxiety producing week. Folk music -one of my things. Its a bit late right now but, I will be back sometime. Enjoy your pimms lie back and....soak it all up. The blog has been busy. I'll catch up with you later. Happy beachings. Joe.

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  • 99. At 5:54pm on 29 May 2009, Lady_Sue wrote:

    Fifi: thanks for the ermine towel. Ideal.

    Have we hit 100 yet?

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  • 100. At 5:57pm on 29 May 2009, Big Sister wrote:

    We have now ...

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  • 101. At 8:01pm on 29 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Evenin' all.

    A flaggon of my best chilled Scrumpy is at NC's to celebrate 8:01 pm!

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  • 102. At 9:58pm on 29 May 2009, Gillianian wrote:

    DIWyman - I'll drink to that ;o)
    8:01pm was a very good time for me....I was cooking the last tray of burgers at the cricket club....I remember it well...and have the scars to prove it!

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  • 103. At 10:31pm on 29 May 2009, Sid wrote:

    There's something about beach volleyball in the dark ...

    ooh, thank you! (Whoever that was.)

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  • 104. At 04:45am on 30 May 2009, Lady_Sue wrote:

    Good (very early) morning fellow froggers!


    [a scattering of empty cup cake papers, leftover Pimms ingredients, tools for fixing broken blog, empty scrumpy flagon, cricket bat, volleyball net, balls...]

    * twitches nose *

    Ah, that's better.

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  • 105. At 07:25am on 30 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Hmmm....my what a wonderful old fashioned broom that is. I wonder where it came from?

    *p00f...Speedos turn from Sprout green to Dusty Pink*

    Now that's a bit strange!

    You OK me Lady, have you got a cold, yer nose keeps twitching?

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  • 106. At 09:13am on 30 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    I wonder if this will work?

    *wiggles nose*


    *wiggles bum*

    P00F....Hey presto a full English breakfast!

    *I had the instructions upside down*

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  • 107. At 10:57am on 30 May 2009, Fearless Fred wrote:

    Wiggle whatever works best, DI_Y!

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  • 108. At 11:03am on 30 May 2009, nikki noodle wrote:

    Corrr, wot a scorcha!!!!

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  • 109. At 11:21am on 30 May 2009, Lady_Sue wrote:

    DiY: LOL! Do be careful and mind that broom.

    It's 'hot' again today in RL and the buttercups are as high as an elephant's eye...

    Fiddle de dee, off for a swim!

    Now where's that itty bitty teenie weenie...

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  • 110. At 1:52pm on 30 May 2009, Little Red wrote:

    lashings of red lentil and coriander soup for lunch.

    I'm ready for a rest in the purple hammock having spent much of this morning pretending to garden. I have the second installment of coriander started and I've sewn some more salad leaves. also had to uproot two extremely leggy tomato plants (though there are 6 beautiful ones left) and replaced them with courgette seed - we'll see how that fairs.

    alas no rest for the wicked - off to a music rehearsal thing this afternoon for a show next week - no idea what i am playing as yet so should be interesting!!

    I'll be back fro some hammock time around pimms o'clock. And some pimms of course!!

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  • 111. At 6:18pm on 30 May 2009, Lady_Sue wrote:

    Little Red, you do sound industrious. I admire you!

    I've had a 'challenging' day and am now going to knock off and have a(nother) glass of vino collapso. Can't be bothered making Pimms and anyway, there doesn't seem to be anyone about to play with.

    Yooo hooo... anyone on the naugty step? Come out, come out, where ever you are...

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  • 112. At 8:57pm on 30 May 2009, Fifi wrote:

    It's a momentous day chez Fifi.

    * drum roll.......... *

    All by my tiny self, unaided and without the use of a safety net, I have erected the Summer Branch Office!

    * pause for applause *

    If it's still there in the morning, you're all invited over for breakfast butties and hot buttered loafing about for the rest of the day.

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  • 113. At 00:20am on 31 May 2009, Fifi wrote:

    I've been thinking. And people, I am worried.

    It's about that fol... er, pointless erec... er... building that mittf put up on the Beach.

    Do we need to allocate it a purpose, lest it be served with a Demolition Order by the Beach Planmodders?

    Should Fearless Fred be banned from it, for his own safety?

    This is the sort of thing that keeps me awake at this silly hour of a Saturday night.

    So, while I'm fretting on your behalf, everyone, I may as well creep into the sparkly hammock and close my eyes, reflectively, so as not to disturb anyone.

    Just lob me a bacon buttie at breakfast time, whoever is first up in the morning, and I'd be most obliged. . .

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  • 114. At 09:58am on 31 May 2009, nikki noodle wrote:

    hmmmm....not a soul about....


    ah ha!! lets follow....

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  • 115. At 10:01am on 31 May 2009, Froggersfroat wrote:

    ? All at the Summer Branch Office ( treehouse?)with Fifi?

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  • 116. At 10:25am on 31 May 2009, Cossackgirl wrote:

    Lady Sue: after the news of the MP who wanted his church donation fiver back, I just had to go and put a thunderous comment on the PM GB Katie Boyle thread - I could think of nowhere else better.
    And now I found a wonderfully generous and supportive comment from you and a good and funny one from Chris on the news of my ill health episode. Thank you! I am posting my thanks on this thread as I expect in such glorious weather you will eventually come to the Beach.
    I shall be seeing my cancer surgeon on Tuesday to go over the tests, but this is Protocol and I am much better now.
    When I outlived the time they gave me I bought a large round Monty Python badge "I AM NOT DEAD YET" to wear to CAT scans and blood tests. I shall be wearing it on Tuesday with pride!
    I am leaving several bottles of best Russian vodka in the freezing compartment of the communal fridge. Vodka doesn't freeze - it thickens to the liqueur consistency. Russians don't use it with mixers. You pour a small shot, exhale completely, knock it back, and breathe again. You get warmth spreading from the stomach, without any taste in the mouth. Now is the time for a piece of salted herring, a blini with caviar or a slice of pickled cucumber. Show-offs just smell a piece of bread and put it down...

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  • 117. At 7:01pm on 31 May 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Evenin' all!

    Today I have walked 14,842 yards dragging son # 1 golf clubs around for two rounds of eighteen holes AND they LOST!

    Now I am in sore need of chilled beverages!

    Actually, Cossackgirl, wodka will fit the bill perfick and good luck on Tuesday, I will say a prayer to my god for you tonight!

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  • 118. At 7:06pm on 31 May 2009, Sid wrote:

    pours a small shot
    exhales completely
    knocks it back
    breathes again
    warmth spreads from the stomach
    salted herring

    Mmm ... thanks Cossackgirl! That was great!

    DIY - fancy a competition?

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  • 119. At 7:40pm on 31 May 2009, Fifi wrote:

    Cossackgirl - you are so right... where else would we gather but on the Beach after a day as glorious as today?

    I wish you the best for tomorrow, and will now venture to try your vodka slurping technique. Have I got this right?

    You pour it into a small slot, exhume discreetly, knock it over, and try to breathe.

    No, that's wrong.

    You pour a large shot, breathe out till nearly faint, throw the drink to the back of the throat, and then try to breathe.

    But I don't feel any ... STREWTH! what IS that feeling spreading from my stomach???

    Maybe third time lucky.................


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  • 120. At 8:03pm on 31 May 2009, Cossackgirl wrote:

    119. Fifi, I really really hope that you are not driving tonight!!!

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  • 121. At 8:08pm on 31 May 2009, Sid wrote:

    Don't worry, Cossackgirl - me an' my friend DIY will give you a lift when we've fish ... hold on a sec ... when we've finished our competition. We just need a couple of more bottles of more vodka ... be with you in a minuet ... or a Russian sword dance, perhaps ...

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  • 122. At 8:09pm on 31 May 2009, Fifi wrote:

    Wosshat, Cosshak grill? Neeeeeew, m'at home, well topped up wiv ginnnan wine'an ... how'm I gonna gerrup vem stairz???


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  • 123. At 8:25pm on 31 May 2009, Cossackgirl wrote:

    Fifi, Sid! You haven't done it - you haven't discovered the way the Russians get very-very drunk even when the vodka is running short?!
    They break plenty of brown bread into a large bowl, pour the vodka (or the meths, or the surgical spirit - by this stage, who cares) over the bread, which soaks it up. AND THEN THEY EAT THE BREAD WITH SPOONS!..
    Well you need to keep very warm in Siberia and the alcohol stays in the stomach much longer that way...

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  • 124. At 8:33pm on 31 May 2009, Cossackgirl wrote:

    Oops, correction to my 123! This knowledge is strictly theoretical where I am concerned, I have not tried it, not even when in Siberia. But it's true all right.
    It's too late for you, Fifi, I'm afraid, but one on the advantages of neat vodka is that you don't get a hangover if you do not mix it with any other alcoholic stuff.
    If you do, as you just did, methinks, there can be a babushka of all hangovers next morning. Lucky we are not in RL.
    P.S. Babushka = grandmother.

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  • 125. At 9:27pm on 31 May 2009, Fifi wrote:

    ~ wibble! ~

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  • 126. At 9:44pm on 31 May 2009, Stewart_M wrote:

    Hello from my wifi enabled holiday home. De Haan and Ostende tomorrow. Not sure for rest of week. Be good. if you can't be good, make sure you are good at it

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  • 127. At 10:15pm on 31 May 2009, Cossackgirl wrote:

    *carefully tiptoes onto the Beach*
    The tide is going out. Nobody is sleeping on the sand.
    Sid, DIY, who won?
    Fifi, sleep well!
    Thank you all for the merry company, for your kind good wishes.
    *goes away, muttering* "Must warn DIY that if his vodka is spelt with a "W", it has to be Polish Wodka... Might freeze solid... might not..."

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  • 128. At 10:34pm on 31 May 2009, Sid wrote:

    Who's DIY? Who am I? Where's the vodka gone? Why ...

    snore ...

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  • 129. At 10:46pm on 31 May 2009, gossipmistress wrote:

    Yellow (1) I was near Widecombe in the moor yesterday evening and we heard a cuckoo! Sadly it didn't appear for us. What a gorgeous evening to be in that lovely area.

    Hello all, how are you? Just back from an alternative (Cornish) beach, or rather several!

    Cossackgirl I hope everything goes well for you on tuesdayx

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  • 130. At 11:00pm on 31 May 2009, Cossackgirl wrote:

    129. gossipmistress - thank you!
    *Restocks the freezer with vodka and exits noisily* In Russia they would say that now you couldn't wake Sid up even if you shot heavy artillery over him...

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  • 131. At 11:20pm on 31 May 2009, Sid wrote:





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  • 132. At 11:41pm on 31 May 2009, Fifi wrote:

    Gossipmistress (129) : Widdecombe... cuckoo... make up your own joke!

    [ hic?? ]

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  • 133. At 08:26am on 01 Jun 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    Two bodies on the beach, Vodka fumes in the air. Cossakgirl, what have you started?? I presume the two bodies will awaken shortly and be ready for a full English. Anyway, breakfast on the go, eggs to order, toast, marmalade and assorted fruits. Help yourselves. What a glorious weekend!!

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  • 134. At 09:13am on 01 Jun 2009, Sid wrote:


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  • 135. At 09:20am on 01 Jun 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    Roll over Sid and stop snoring, you're annoying the camels!!

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  • 136. At 09:45am on 01 Jun 2009, Sid wrote:




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  • 137. At 10:22am on 01 Jun 2009, pmmolly wrote:

    WAKE UP!!!!!

    Come on you lot! I've work to do...
    Nobody does anywork around here!

    Right, let's give this hammock a shake....
    what the...


    good grief! I,m off! No place for a girl round here...

    Fifi needs to know about this, methinks...


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  • 138. At 11:14am on 01 Jun 2009, mittfh wrote:

    Cossackgirl (116): That description sounds familiar...

    When I was holidaying in Austria back in 1993, it was said that the best way to drink Schnapps was to knock it back in one go, so you get the fire in your stomach and no taste in your mouth...

    Unfortunately, as I was only 16 at the time, I couldn't participate in the Schnapps tasting evening :(

    Mind you, from that description it sounds as though the 'proper' Schnapps is a helluva lot more potent than the alcopops that disguise themselves as Schnapps.

    And talking over modern drinks, I still can't get over the rebranding of perry as "Pear Cider" - especially since the Hereford company still insist on showing a silhouette of an apple on the label...

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  • 139. At 11:18am on 01 Jun 2009, Fifi wrote:

    * OOOOOOF! bleagh! *

    Who did that? Who was it? Own up!

    Who turfed me out of that perfectly lovely hammock and treated me to a mouthful of sand?

    .. or is that the after-effect of vodka from last night's 'tasting'?

    I could fairly murder a full English though, if anyone's offering...?

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  • 140. At 11:38am on 01 Jun 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    Hi Fifi, see 133. Full English still available and keeping warm, although you'll have to do your own eggies. I'm busy rounding up the camels after Sid's snoring caused a stampede.

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  • 141. At 12:47pm on 01 Jun 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    All camels are now safely gathered in, thanks to my Patagonian Snorkel Hound and silent dog whistle. (Didn't want to wakre Sid up from his sleep, at least he's stopped snoring).

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  • 142. At 12:56pm on 01 Jun 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    Alright, I give up, where is everybody? Surely, not everyone, except me, is suffering from a vodka induce hangover.

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  • 143. At 1:12pm on 01 Jun 2009, Fifi wrote:

    Thanks Mansaylo, that breakfast was just what I needed.

    I seem to be free of hangover, strangely, just rather sleepy and un-motivated today.

    Fancy helping me with this sandcastle I've started building? The flying buttresses are holding up fine but the gargoyles look like camels and I don't want to give offence.

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  • 144. At 1:27pm on 01 Jun 2009, Anne P. wrote:

    Afternoon all, sorry Mansaylo, absence caused by the need to plant out runner beans on the allotment. Bit late for a full English thanks, but I can offer some avocado and sardine pate with toast and salad (tastes a lot better than it sounds).

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  • 145. At 2:27pm on 01 Jun 2009, Fearless Fred wrote:

    Sorry for my Beach absence. Here's a large bowl of fresh fruit salad for all.....

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  • 146. At 2:27pm on 01 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Afternoon Peeps. There is Pink Champers available so we can raise a toast to the memory of a 'Comic in a Frock'.

    Cheers Danny, thanks for the smiles.


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  • 147. At 2:36pm on 01 Jun 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    How about staging a panto in his honour. Mother Goose springs to mind. Wonko for the dame, Lady Sue as principal boy. Any other suggestions??

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  • 148. At 2:44pm on 01 Jun 2009, Sid wrote:

    Morning all. Is it time to get up yet?

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  • 149. At 2:56pm on 01 Jun 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    Check yer watch Sid. You've missed breakfast and lunch. I suppose in your condition a hairy dog wouldn't be amiss. It's almost G & T O'clock.

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  • 150. At 3:52pm on 01 Jun 2009, mittfh wrote:

    Sid: It's time to get out of the hammock, stretch your legs with a lap around the dunes, then slap on the sunblock before relaxing in the sun. Although given the news article about record high levels of skin cancer, don't forget to reapply it at regular intervals :)

    Meanwhile IRL I'm getting increasingly tired (evidently although I'm still getting my quota of sleep at night, it's probably not as deep...) and am frequently clock watching, waiting for 16:30 (earliest allowable disappearing time) when I can leg it up the road and flake out for real...

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  • 151. At 6:03pm on 01 Jun 2009, Fifi wrote:

    My SO comes home

    * does little dance *

    (with my suitcase, which I'll immediately pack for Wednesday)

    * droops *

    Pimms! Where's that Pimms?

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  • 152. At 6:46pm on 01 Jun 2009, nikki noodle wrote:

    Cossackgirl - all best wishes for tomorrow and I hope all goes well.

    DIY - cheers for the champagne, a toast indeed!!!

    I wont mix my drinks tonight, I have got myself three glasses: one for champagne, one for pimms and one for the vodka....


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  • 153. At 7:26pm on 01 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Mansaylo, can I be something in tight fitting tights?

    Don't care who, as long as I can have tight fitting tights!

    Cheers n-n, I have brought you glass for the Scrumpy.

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  • 154. At 7:32pm on 01 Jun 2009, Fearless Fred wrote:

    Evening all! Can I nominate a use for the pointless building? Can it be the culinary experimental laboratory? I need somewhere to try a new recipe out... grill poached river cobbler with garlic homemade oven chips and purple sprouting broccoli :-)

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  • 155. At 7:46pm on 01 Jun 2009, Cossackgirl wrote:

    Cider - don't talk to me about cider! I arrived on these shores quite certain (from experience) that I could handle anything in the line of alcohol. Then we had a holiday in Somerset near Cheddar Gorge and after a hot day my husband pressed me to a large helping of chilled local cider. It tasted like fruit water and went down a treat, then everything around me became terribly funny and the last thing I remember is laughing quite uncontrollably... I came to only a couple of hours later.
    152. nikki
    I can't join you in a drink tonight. So could you put out a fourth glass for an absent friend, please? As a child in Moscow I saw an extra place laid on at every party, in case of an unexpected visitor who should be made to feel welcome. A touch of Jack London's Tales of the North there somewhere...
    I must keep dry for more tests tomorrow. But maybe I'll just pass by later...

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  • 156. At 8:33pm on 01 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    FF, re your culinary exploits.

    I thought the use of Pangasius in biological warfare was banned under the Geneva Convention?

    DiY ;-)

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  • 157. At 8:44pm on 01 Jun 2009, Selkius_Piscinus wrote:

    Cossackgirl, I blame you. You are a bad influence.

    It is all your fault that I stopped at the offie today and bought a bottle of Wisniowka, also known as The Trouser Stiffener.

    I suppose it's not your fault that I opened up the desk-drawer where I keep my secret tippling store in order to put the TS into it and found in it unopened (lawksamussy!) bottles of

    Cockburns Ruby Port
    Smirnoff Blue
    Vadelma Likoori
    Pimm's No 3
    L'Heritier-Guyot Creme De Peche

    but I am going to have to get seriously slarmy if I try to do anything about all this at this point!

    oh dear, what a calamity.

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  • 158. At 8:46pm on 01 Jun 2009, Selkius_Piscinus wrote:

    Oh yes, cider, huh?

    Let me offer you a small pint of red-eye: that's a glass of port in the bottom of the pint, fill 'er up with scrumpy.

    It's *delicious*.

    really really delicious

    totally and abstrusely delicious



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  • 159. At 9:06pm on 01 Jun 2009, Cossackgirl wrote:

    157. 158. S_P
    Smirnoff Blue is mine, mine I tell you - you wouldn't like it.
    As for your Wisniowka - it sounds Polish to me and also as if it involves cherries in it somewhere along the line. Yum.
    P.S. Vishni (Russian) = cherries, so I deduce are Wisni in Polish. Try smelling it!

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  • 160. At 9:21pm on 01 Jun 2009, Selkius_Piscinus wrote:

    Cossackgirl, you can't have ALL the Smirnoff Blue. I have it around because I like it myself. But I will pour some for you - here, have a tumbler.

    As for my Wisniowka, I bought that because it is indeed Polish Cherry Vodka, and because it is 40% by volume and tastes like a very pleasant fruit juice.

    It is called The Trouser Stiffener on account of an occasion when some fool spilt a full glass of it onto the outside of my right thigh at a hotel. Did you ever try to suck Wodka out of the right thigh of trousers you were wearing? Because I don't think it can be done, like licking blood off your own elbow. What's more, it then got a little drunk out, and I had no change of trousers with me, so I slept in someone's bath that night and when I got up to go to breakfast the right leg of my trousers had set hard to just below the knee, and I was walking with a distinct limp all morning.

    I expect I shall live it down in the end, but the people who were there at the time still mention it at intervals, and that was back in 1988.

    Have a TS?

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  • 161. At 11:35pm on 01 Jun 2009, Cossackgirl wrote:

    160. S_P
    Look, I have a hard day seeing my cancer surgeon tomorrow, my thoughts should be elevated, and what have you done? Only related a hilarious and bordering on dubious episode, which has just lowered my moral tone and will keep me in stitches for some time. That cancer surgeon doesn't hear many hearty chuckles in his consulting room. I expect the shock will do him as much good as a week at the seaside (apologies to P. G. Wodehouse).
    And I only came back because it's too hot to sleep in RL and I wanted to leave some comments for Chris on PM Glass Box for May 28th (we got into RLS and courage a bit. There is a good quote there that I find useful, if you can be bothered to find that thread).
    Now where is that tumbler you have poured for me? If we have started such a party, slice the last cucumber...

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  • 162. At 11:52pm on 01 Jun 2009, Selkius_Piscinus wrote:

    Cossackgirl, I'm sure that the best way to see a cancer specialist is when one is as relaxed as a newt, so here is your tumbler, here is a slice of cucumber, and that thing sticking out of the top is a miniature parasol embedded in a cherry.

    Here's mud in your eye!

    And I shan't even try to explain about who tried to suck the TS off my trousers before it set, you clearly hadn't better know if you need a straight face tomorrow. But it involved a party in a lift that had started out as a party on the stairs with a nine-person mobius backrub, and somebody being told "you're a scorpio; take your shirt off at once and lie down", and the Little Sisters of the Lift being invoked: "I know that my redeemer lifteth" and "someday my lift will come" and "the lift WILL rise again -- probably on the third day after we all get home". After that I disremember, but I am quite sure that the hunchbacked one-legged dwarf didn't happen until the following day, and anyhow the man responsible denies everything and is clearly sound in wind and limb, not to mention being about six foot tall, so his metamorphosis must have been an illusion.

    Have another TS? with cucumber? Or is the Bear Restorer more suitable at this point?

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  • 163. At 00:17am on 02 Jun 2009, Cossackgirl wrote:

    162. ...too late! You really don't know my powers of visualization (I've been a mystic for years). I am indeed going to bed now, but surrounded by all these vivid images I won't be able to keep a straight face for a week! Well done, you! Thanks.

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  • 164. At 08:44am on 02 Jun 2009, Sid wrote:

    Morning all! Well, I seem to have lost a few days somewhere .. but who cares? Coffee's on, tea's brewing, fruit salad/croissants on the bar, there's even hot chocolate today ... so dig in!

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  • 165. At 08:52am on 02 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Thanks Sid and good luck Cossackgirl.

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  • 166. At 10:31am on 02 Jun 2009, Izzy_Tme wrote:


    Good luck Cg - hope you manage to keep that smile going.

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  • 167. At 11:12am on 02 Jun 2009, Fifi wrote:

    (((Frugs))) to Cossackgirl and your lucky cancer surgeon. I hope he asks you about the goofy grin, and you make a stab at trying to relate Selky's tale...

    I'll just mention here that, after today (and possibly a few hours tomorrow while on the train) I'll be offline till Tuesday next week. By which time I should have got the new Broadband installed in sunny Scotland. At long last!

    However, there is still today, and I see a smidgin of vodka has survived the night. It would be rude to ignore it...

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  • 168. At 11:32am on 02 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Ooohh look! Sun yardarm over!

    decipher that and help yourselves to some rather nice and really chilled Bucks Fiz.

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  • 169. At 12:19pm on 02 Jun 2009, Fifi wrote:

    How refreshing, DIY! Just what I need to fortify me for the next round of suitcaseless packing.

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  • 170. At 2:20pm on 02 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Phew Wot-a-Scorcher!

    I have turned the hob off and still the sprouts are simmering!
    But hey ho, best that they aren't under cooked for Christmas!

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  • 171. At 5:04pm on 02 Jun 2009, Selkius_Piscinus wrote:

    Fifi, packing suitcaseless packing sounds somehow very Zen. What is the sound of one suitcase being absent?

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  • 172. At 5:58pm on 02 Jun 2009, gossipmistress wrote:

    Feefs - how ever much are you packing??!! And what in? Glass boxes perchance?

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  • 173. At 6:33pm on 02 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Sorry for being inept, but I forgot to prepare for the forthcoming local and Yourup elections and I haven't got the dinner on either.

    So to pour oil on trouble waters, please submit your Beach expense claims and I will get them OK'd by head Beach Man.

    Word of warning though, no claiming for:-

    Duck Houses
    Second mortgages
    Third mortgages
    Relations doing Child care that live more that 14,000 miles away.
    Second homes 'we' forgot we didn't own anymore.
    Relations acting as staff more than 48,000 miles away.

    I have told the BBC I have always tried to do the "right thing" and it was upsetting when my integrity was being "impugned".

    You get the idea, Mum's the word!

    Keep one's head down and resign, that way you will pick up large sacks of payoff dosh.

    DiY :-p

    *good job RL isn't like this isn't it*

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  • 174. At 6:58pm on 02 Jun 2009, Fifi wrote:

    First try out of new song tonight: Forever Autumn.

    Fingers crossed!

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  • 175. At 7:21pm on 02 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Good Luck, don't forget, it is not what the press say, it how the peeps felt!

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  • 176. At 9:22pm on 02 Jun 2009, nikki noodle wrote:

    feefs!!! bon voyages for tomorrow

    and how did it go Cossackgirl? There ought to be a line of something up at the bar soon

    generally, and not like me at all, today has been largely a pile of

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  • 177. At 11:45pm on 02 Jun 2009, Humph wrote:

    DIY (173) I notice there is nothing against claiming for a First Mortgage. So can I claim, oh, I do not know, let us say, 25p for my first mortgage?? I know that I have already paid off my first mor . . . NO, TAKE THAT BACK . . . ummm . . . something . . .

    If, I have claimed for any mortgage payments, for one already paid off, can I still be a frog-member if I pay it back . . . or still a frog-member until the next election??


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  • 178. At 01:00am on 03 Jun 2009, mittfh wrote:

    Ooh - a War of the Worlds track...

    I bet many politicians would quite like it if...
    # The chances of anything coming from Mars are a million to one - but still they come!
    (from Eve of War)

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  • 179. At 08:52am on 03 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Humph, you can probably make a claim for testing air!

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  • 180. At 09:29am on 03 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Morning Peeps!

    Coffee is ready and the toast is done to just the exact shade of golden brown you want!

    Various maramalades are in the fridge.

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  • 181. At 11:38am on 03 Jun 2009, Anne P. wrote:

    Morning all, apologies for lateness, now redeemed I hope by the provision of a large selection of pastries, currant buns and other delights - help yourself.

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  • 182. At 1:00pm on 03 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    I have now added a pile of Bacon Sarnies to the mountain assorted pastries!

    Need to keep my energy levels up as the RL IT Helldesk is living up to it's name!

    DiY :-(

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  • 183. At 2:31pm on 03 Jun 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    Volunteers and suggestions for the Danny la Rue Memorial panto are required. Please complete the form on the NC bar.

    I think Mother Goose in the Woods with the Three Bears and a Beanstalk would run and run.

    Pass the magic lamp, I need a G & T.

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  • 184. At 2:48pm on 03 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Can I be Little Red Speedos Hood?

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  • 185. At 3:16pm on 03 Jun 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    DIY. You just want to wear the tights don't you.

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  • 186. At 3:17pm on 03 Jun 2009, needsanewnickname wrote:

    Mansaylo, last comment, v clever. Can I have one of those in about four hours?

    But before that, may I suggest that the panto be situated a little bit nearer the naughty step?

    I don't really know Danny La Rue's routines, but I imagine that to get a G & T I need to rub Aladdin's lamp?

    Have I got to trim his wick as well?

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  • 187. At 3:22pm on 03 Jun 2009, needsanewnickname wrote:

    Not the tights. The G & T.

    How irritating is it when someone just slips one past you.........

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  • 188. At 3:32pm on 03 Jun 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    Given DLR's patter, I think the panto should be performed ON the naughty step.

    As far as trimming Aladdin's wick, you might also have to prune Jack's Beanstalk.

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  • 189. At 3:35pm on 03 Jun 2009, needsanewnickname wrote:

    Before or after planting?

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  • 190. At 3:39pm on 03 Jun 2009, needsanewnickname wrote:

    I mean planting it on stage, of course. It might be too big for the proscenium arch.

    And as all Archers fans know, a wobbly beanstalk gets Ambridge Health and Safety all in a tither.

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  • 191. At 3:42pm on 03 Jun 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    Frances. - There's an idea. perhaps we could invite Linda Snell to produce the panto.

    (posts from froggers who have never heard of Linda Snell!!)

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  • 192. At 4:27pm on 03 Jun 2009, Wonko wrote:

    What ho!

    Been away from the Beach for a few days - took some time off in RL for my Birthday over the weekend. Lovely weather wasn't it?

    I'm going to spend some time in the purple hammock now, all this relaxing is hard work.

    ;o) []

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  • 193. At 08:56am on 04 Jun 2009, Anne P. wrote:

    Wake up Wonko! Time to go and vote.

    I've made lots of porridge and left it cooling a little while I popped up to the village hall. Job done.

    For those who feel the need of something more to sustain them while making up their minds, I am on hand to make a full English on request.

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  • 194. At 09:07am on 04 Jun 2009, Wonko wrote:

    Hmmmmm, thanks Anne, most welcome. I'd like smoked back bacon, nice and crispy, sausages, scrambled egg, beans, hash browns and black pudding please.

    And a small vat of coffee please. Can I help with the toast and preserves?


    ;o) []

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  • 195. At 09:11am on 04 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Morning Peeps. Mmmmm porridge......thanks AP.

    Mansaylo, I'll have you know that I used to wear tights on a regular basis in a former life! As a diver they helped to give that little extra bit of warmth under my wetsuit!

    And no, they were not fishnet!

    DiY :-D

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  • 196. At 09:40am on 04 Jun 2009, Cossackgirl wrote:

    Hi, I'm not stopping, but, unlike so many more MPs, I'm still standing yeah, yeah, yeah...
    154.Fearless Fred
    Re: Mittfh's structure (I like to think of it as a ziggurat, I feel it goes better with the camels somehow...).
    If you are using all or part of it as your culinary experimental laboratory, please check if there is a six feet tall one-legged dwarf chopping garlic for you and tell him to return immediately to post 162, where his metamorphosis is pining most piteously.
    162. Selkius_Piscinus
    Your whole Rabelaisean riotous assembly belongs in Gargantua's Abbey of Theleme, you know that?! You gave me an idea and I shall have more to say about it in my next post.
    As for RL: cancer surgeon on Tuesday, charity lecture on Wednesday, travel on Thursday, another consultant on Friday ...and a partridge in a pear tree!!!
    I plan to come back to the blog but good on Friday after 8 pm. I'll visit the new Beach and hope to maybe rent a part of Mittfh's splendid ziggurat from Fred as a second home for a certain plan...

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  • 197. At 11:39am on 04 Jun 2009, Fearless Fred wrote:

    (moved from the AM Glass box to here...)
    Morning all! Haven't had much of a chance to get to the blog this week due to RL stuff. To compensate, I've left a plate of pastries on the bar for elevenses...

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  • 198. At 11:51am on 04 Jun 2009, Trevor Mansell wrote:

    DIY. Understood. Many years ago when I joined HM Forces, I was issued witha couple of pairs of Long Johns. I swore that nothing on earth would get me to wear them.

    A trip to an Ice Hockey game at an open stadium in Hannover, where there was a couple of feet of snow,changed my mind.

    I later swapped the Long Johns for warm woolley German tights. Just the job.

    Meanwhile, back at the beach, any sarnies for lunch?

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  • 199. At 12:22pm on 04 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Mind you the panties are whole different story!

    Bacon sarnies are now available at NC's!

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  • 200. At 3:51pm on 04 Jun 2009, Fearless Fred wrote:

    Quiet beach

    (in memory of silver fox)

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  • 201. At 4:06pm on 04 Jun 2009, U12196018 wrote:

    Mute blog.

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  • 202. At 4:07pm on 04 Jun 2009, Anne P. wrote:

    Fearless (200) I think everyone is participating in activities the mods won't let anyone mention today!

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  • 203. At 4:21pm on 04 Jun 2009, Gillianian wrote:

    Anne P (202) I've been so busy I haven't been able to participate in an unmentionable activity yet. My TD is participating in one for the first time today, and she keeps asking me for advice - even though she's well over the age of consent, and shouldn't be swayed by my opinions.
    Despite my misgivings, we'll participate as a twosome later on ;o)

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  • 204. At 4:32pm on 04 Jun 2009, Fearless Fred wrote:

    I did the unmentionable at about 7:15 this morning on my way into work. Meant I missed going to the gym :-(

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  • 205. At 4:33pm on 04 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    Ann P, re I think everyone is participating in activities the mods won't let anyone mention today!

    *runs around waving Speedos over my head*


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  • 206. At 4:38pm on 04 Jun 2009, Wonko wrote:

    I'm at a loose ends chaps. Any suggestions for pointless but amusing ways to pass the time? By the way I'm already a past master at the old Dirk Gently trick of ringing a telephone number at random and trying to convince the person at the other end that they rang me...

    ;o) []

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  • 207. At 5:18pm on 04 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:


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  • 208. At 5:20pm on 04 Jun 2009, The Wrath Is Come wrote:

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.

  • 209. At 6:15pm on 04 Jun 2009, gossipmistress wrote:

    Evening All! Just back from 2 days in the Southwest - a Seth Lakeman gig in Bath (no not THE bath) which was a-ma-zing and fantastic fun, and also went to Brunel's SS Great Britain in Bristol - beautifully and very creatively restored and well worth a visit in RL.

    Anyone fancy a Bath Bun for tea?

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  • 210. At 8:16pm on 04 Jun 2009, Froggersfroat wrote:

    A Bath Bun please and three verses of Lady of the Sea!

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  • 211. At 9:16pm on 04 Jun 2009, DI_Wyman wrote:

    A Bath Bun please and three ladies!

    DiY :-D

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  • 212. At 9:23pm on 05 Jun 2009, Selkius_Piscinus wrote:

    Glad you're back, Cossackgirl, I was looking for you on the wrong Beach.

    I expect I'll have to go to the new one to find out what your Plan is. See you there.

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  • 213. At 9:53pm on 05 Jun 2009, Izzy_Tme wrote:

    GM - I'm so glad you enjoyed SL - Mr T'Me and I saw him in Cardiff last week and the sound was terrible. We were really disappointed except for Kitty Jay. Goodness knows what happened. St Davids Hall is normally very good, but not last week :o(

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  • 214. At 10:07pm on 05 Jun 2009, needsanewnickname wrote:

    Maximum frog points to whoever suggested Boris falling in the river would get on tonight's HIGNFY.

    btw, am I alone in finding Anderson still a total ottser?

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  • 215. At 11:28am on 08 Jun 2009, poetrism wrote:

    When do we get to hear how many people spoilt their papers?

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