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Bit of paper lying around on my office phone...

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Eddie Mair | 10:29 UK time, Thursday, 27 September 2007

ipm.JPG

Comments

  1. At 10:31 AM on 27 Sep 2007, Fearless Fred wrote:

    now, you're just teasing us, Eddie!

  2. At 11:02 AM on 27 Sep 2007, Carl wrote:

    Your just a big tease.
    Your blog your programme your way..
    (You've been taking creative from Burger King!)
    Do we have to present it as well?

  3. At 11:19 AM on 27 Sep 2007, Big Sister wrote:

    I was just about the say the same, Fred.

    "Is science destroying the dream of equality?"

    So, a programme with deep discussion points, eh?

  4. At 11:24 AM on 27 Sep 2007, UptheTrossachs wrote:

    So does that say Saturdays at 5.30??
    My head's spinning looking through the bottom of this milk bottle.....

  5. At 11:33 AM on 27 Sep 2007, iDI Wyman wrote:

    leave it out imate!

    I think you need to go to room 502!

    and 'Is science destroying the dream of equality?'.....iYep

    BTW..wot happens when the phone rings, is there a mad scramble to find it under a pile of paper in your paperless office?

    iDIY (502? odds on favourite)

  6. At 11:39 AM on 27 Sep 2007, Dr Hackenbush wrote:

    business gifts, incentives, corporate clothing

  7. At 11:43 AM on 27 Sep 2007, Frances O wrote:

    He is, FF.

    Anyway, I thought the PM office was paperless?

  8. At 11:50 AM on 27 Sep 2007, Dr Hackenbush wrote:

    If my last got through, I want you to know that it was the first of many in recent days.

  9. At 11:53 AM on 27 Sep 2007, Paul Gledhill wrote:

    Haven't you moved to a 'paperless office'?

  10. At 11:54 AM on 27 Sep 2007, Big Sister wrote:

    This is getting extraordinarily tedious. Ten attempts all took me to Room 502. This is my last attempt before I jump off Beachy Head.

  11. At 12:21 PM on 27 Sep 2007, UptheTrossachs wrote:

    I got through on the Beach - proper like, no 502, no tantalisingly slow moving green blips at the bottom of the screen, no crashing of Explorer. And then - I get here to find previous attempt got through even though it crashed.
    I hope the lovely Katherine works her charms to fully fix it

    Is science destroying the dream of equality? Are you drafting Melvyn Bragg in to present the show?
    iPM - isn't that the Institute of Personnel Management? Have they been consulted?

  12. At 12:21 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Frances O wrote:

    He is, FF.

    Anyway, I thought the PM office was paperless?

    Hey - what's 2 x 251? Yep, got one of those.

    Oh! Now I'm malicious.

    Do I try once more and then give up?

    (note for Eric: this 'last post' @ 1223)

  13. At 12:27 PM on 27 Sep 2007, mac wrote:

    No.

  14. At 12:32 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Dr Hackenbush wrote:

    Don’t jump - you made it!

  15. At 12:51 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Gossipmistress wrote:

    Nice logo... if a bit iblurred.....

  16. At 12:56 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Big Sister wrote:

    Doc: Thanks. A true pal. But it was close ....

  17. At 01:00 PM on 27 Sep 2007, The Stainless Steel Cat wrote:

    Frankly, anyone who dreams about mathematical symbols needs to get out more, so I have no problem with science destroying that dream.

    Now, if only they could destroy that dream about wandering through the book shop that turns into a forest and has various severed limbs lying on the ground and one grabs me...

  18. At 01:17 PM on 27 Sep 2007, mac wrote:

    In the event of emergencies (a post from me that some drunk in the blog PM blog establishment doesn't like) the Beach can get serious. ('This is the place for titters to run round the beach fires, not for malodorous humours')

    Proposition: No Glass Box = an emergency.

    Therefore:

    This thread is commandeered to say:

    10 billion offered by the BoE and no takers. One reason, no bank wants it known they are that much in schtuck.

    So much for the realism of covert Kingly ops.

    ('I can't believe its not Barclays'.)

  19. At 02:15 PM on 27 Sep 2007, From the Psychiatrist’s Chair wrote:

    Stainless (17) - Just lie down and relax.

    Now, tell me, what did go into the bookshoop to buy?

    Are these limbs that you dream of tree limbs or human limbs?

    What happens when one grabs you?

    That will be £225 ex VAT.

  20. At 03:23 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Frances O wrote:

    I've googled* iPM and found this:

    http://www.google.co.uk/search?as_q=&hl=en&num=10&btnG=Google+Search&as_epq=iPM&as_oq=&as_eq=&lr=&as_ft=i&as_filetype=&as_qdr=all&as_occt=any&as_dt=i&as_sitesearch=&as_rights=&safe=images

    * other search engines are available

  21. At 03:52 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Aunt Dahlia wrote:

    Dear Psychiatrist
    since you're in - what do my interminable dreams of having to duck under, and step over overstretched telephone wires, mean?
    (the word 'limbo' should not appear in the response)

    do you take luncheon vouchers?

  22. At 04:01 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Squirrel wrote:


    I tried a search in the BBC Press Office($), they don't seem to have heard of "iPM".. yet!

    But it means I did find this:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/pressreleases/stories/2007/07_july/13/dirk.shtml

    [($) other press organistions exist]

  23. At 04:02 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Frances O wrote:

    I've googled* iPM and found this:

    http://www.google.co.uk/search?as_q=&hl=en&num=10&btnG=Google+Search&as_epq=iPM&as_oq=&as_eq=&lr=&as_ft=i&as_filetype=&as_qdr=all&as_occt=any&as_dt=i&as_sitesearch=&as_rights=&safe=images

    * other search engines are available

    Er - did this post? I'll try again

  24. At 04:03 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Gossipmistress wrote:

    Frances - hahaha!
    Especially this one:

    http://www.ipm.org.uk/

  25. At 04:11 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Gossipmistress wrote:

    Frances - hahaha!
    Especially this one:

    http://www.ipm.org.uk/

    (PS I like the way it's 'Org.uk'!!)

    Grrrr! 502 502 502!!

  26. At 05:24 PM on 27 Sep 2007, From the Psychiatrist’s Chair wrote:

    Dear Aunt Dahlia

    My first thought is to ask you if you have any involvement in offering support of any kind over the telephone or similar work. Your dream is not uncommon among call-centre workers. In fact there was a severe outbreak of the condition just last month in Delhi.

    The condition has been known to be alleviated by regular breaks from this type of work, at least 4 one-eek breaks in Italy, France, etc. per annum in addition to normal summer vacations. Regular intake of good New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc is also said to ameliorate the symptoms.

    I'm afraid that luncheon vouchers are not normally accepted. If you have any Green Shield Stamps - I don't want those either.

    That will be £225. We'll forget about the VAT for cash.

  27. At 05:28 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Frances O wrote:

    Gossipmrs, it's fun, isn't it?

    iPM training is unique in bringing together mind and body.

    " iPM training has helped me to understand I do not have all the answers; the listener is the expert" - iPM Editor

  28. At 05:39 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Karen wrote:

    I'm not sure about the green bits.

  29. At 05:55 PM on 27 Sep 2007, The Stainless Steel Cat wrote:

    Dr Chair (19):

    The limbs are human. I get worried at sounds around me and I pick up one of the arms by the wrist so that I can use the wet end as a club. The hand suddenly closes around my arm...

    ...and I wake up.

    Oh yes, and I also dreamt that I already paid you.

  30. At 05:59 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Squirrel wrote:


    sometimes with computers you just have to WAIT .. even if "computer says no" (or "502")

    Paperless Office - don't make me laugh! (oh, you already did) In 1984 I worked for a company who sold the 'paper-less office' as a product (before the rise of the PC too!) they may even own the trade-mark! I spent most of the next 20 years cleaning and repairing computer PRINTERS - well they are the most important part!

  31. At 06:05 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Frances 5O2 wrote:

    Dear Psychiatrist,

    A one-eek break will not suffice, I fear, for anyone who's been battling the terrible 502s. We've had so many eeks recently that a break would require a far higher level of eekery, perhaps even going to the level of a yike, or even two yikes.

  32. At 06:36 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Squirrel wrote:


    Gossipmistress(25):

    I didn't know doctors had a problem in that area either. Maybe it's all the drinking?

  33. At 06:38 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Aunt Dahlia wrote:

    Dear Psychiatrist
    do you know, that really hadn't ocurred to me ! - what a hoot!

    I have'nt got any green shield stamps, will you not take frequent drinker Costafortune coffee stamps instead?

    alternatively the £200 is in the post. I spent the rest on Cabernet Sauvignon

    EEEEEEkkk

  34. At 07:35 PM on 27 Sep 2007, From the Psychiatrist’s Chair wrote:

    Dear Frances 502

    I've just looked up your notes and see that it is some time since we have had a consultation. However, I have to say that if you are going to take this rather flippant attitude I'm not sure that much can be achieved. I think you know perfectly well what I was alluding to when I referred to "one-eek breaks". btw I think that claiming two yikes would just be milking it a bit, don't you?

    Anyway, returning to your own condition of Arvicola Terrestris, do you still sometimes feel the urge to swim naked in local waterways or did the aversion therapy have longterm results?

    Fee for first consultation for former clients is abated by 50%. That will be £112.50 ex VAT. I'm sorry we don't take American Express.

  35. At 08:03 PM on 27 Sep 2007, From the Psychiatrist’s Chair wrote:

    Dear Aunt Dahlia

    I'll settle for a bottle of the Cabernet Sauvignon and a book.

  36. At 08:40 PM on 27 Sep 2007, Humph wrote:

    Dear FtPC

    I sometimes think that I am me. How can you help?

    Someonelse

  37. At 10:18 PM on 27 Sep 2007, From the Psychiatrist’s Chair wrote:

    Dear Humph

    I am afraid that you ARE you. You are perfectly normal and will have to live with that!

    My cheque is in the post.

  38. At 12:36 AM on 28 Sep 2007, From the Psychiatrist’s Chair wrote:

    Sorry Stainless

    My reply to you although apposite and witty got 502'd etc. All costs withdrawn!

  39. At 09:10 AM on 28 Sep 2007, Fearless Fred wrote:

    Dear FtPC

    I sometimes think that opening a bottle of wine is a bad thing. Please can you help cure me!

    FFred

  40. At 10:04 AM on 28 Sep 2007, Frances 5O2 wrote:

    Dear FtPC,

    Thank you, the aversion therapy seems to be working well. Though I think when you pushed me into the canal I was still clothed.

    I now travel several miles to swim naked in waterways.

    My cheque is in room 502.

  41. At 10:15 AM on 28 Sep 2007, From the Psychiatrist’s Chair wrote:

    Dear Fearless

    This is not an uncommon feeling and as long as it is only an occasional thought, I think that you should be able to cope with it. My normal advice in these circumstances is that even though you feel bad about opening the bottle, you can comfort yourself with the knowledge that there are many more in the Off Licence that you can purchase tomorrow.

    However, should you ever feel the urge to buy any of those devices or stoppers that claim that they can preserve a half-finished bottle of wine overnight, or in some cases a few days, then I would urge you to come back and see me. The urge to keep an open bottle for this long is far from normal and classified by some as deviant behaviour.

    That will be 2 cases of mixed Australian ex VAT19

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