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My Five Worst Films Of The Year...So Far

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Mark Kermode Mark Kermode | 13:58 UK time, Friday, 29 June 2012

Here is the second half of my mid-term report in which I reveal the five worst films I've seen in 2012.

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Related Posts on Kermode Uncut
My top five films of the year so far...

Mark's reviews on 5 live
Piranha 3DD

The Devil Inside

John Carter

Hear Mark Kermode review the week's new films every Friday from 2pm on BBC Radio 5 live. Kermode & Mayo's Film Review is also available as a free podcast to download and keep.

 

Comments

Page 1 of 2

  • Comment number 1.

    Not available in my area? Please elaborate BBC. Not available in ENGLAND? Not available in Hampshire? Be more specific.

  • Comment number 2.

    Moonrise Kingdom. Maybe I'm just not the target audience for Wes Anderson movies, but I went into this with an open mind, not having seen any of his films before, and being excited about the cast (Frances McDormand, Bill Murray, Bruce Willis, Ed Norton and two promising young leads). I really didn't like it at all. Some of the kid stuff was ok I guess, but I thought everyone scene with Ed Norton in was over-indulgent, the last section which I will not describe so as not to spoil it for anyone, a complete dogs dinner, and the camera work - especially in the opening scene - more pretentious than original. I listened to Mark's review after where he seemed to agree about the film being extremely twee and kooky, although I don't think he disliked it as much as I did.

  • Comment number 3.

    Mark's going to hate me for this, and I know he said 5, but the film I've hated more than most is Iron Sky. It's not witty; it's not clever; it wasn't even a fun throw back to the schlock that inspired it. It was just crap in every way. At 30 minutes in I was really struggling and if I wasn't in company, I would have bailed on it.

  • Comment number 4.

    My bottom five was a bit tougher however here goes-

    5- Strippers Vs. Werewolves- after the films flop at the cinema the film preorder price went from £12.99 to £6.00, says it all.

    4- Mirror Mirror- Pointless

    3- Wrath of the Titans- Utterly pointless

    2- Battleship- D4 you sunk my faith in the film industry

    1- W/E- Utter Utter drivel, If Madonna hadn't gone on every talk show about how great it was and historically accurate I might have enjoyed it as a subversive comedy. How else can a writer call its modern female lead Wally Winthorp and keep a straight face.

  • Comment number 5.

    Can't really mention a bottom five because I learnt a long time ago that if the film looks awful, than what's the point of spending time and hard earned cash chasing after such tripe. The only times when an awful looking film turned out to be an amusing pleasure were;

    Basic Instinct 2 (and I'm sure the good Doctor will back me up here)
    AND
    Taken (Sure it has plot holes the size of the Black Hole of Calcutta, but hey its enjoyable)

    Pretty surprised that Battleship and Wrath of Titans weren't on the list. However I do have to point out in regards to W.E. Always wondered how dire the film truly is, and I finally got my answer: Oscar Issacs' facial expression in the clip used says it all. Talking of dire, did Deviation even get a cinema release? I've heard of Act of Valour, which also came and went, but never heard of Dire's latest opus.

    Final note; Prometheus. I'm really annoyed that Fox are releasing the Blu-Ray in Decemeber, a full two months AFTER the U.S. release. Didn't Fox release the film in the U.K. a week before than the U.S. Surely Murdoch can't be that vicious?!

  • Comment number 6.

    Is Danny Dyer ever going to make a film that is even half way p**s poor?

  • Comment number 7.

    1: A Dangerous Method. If anyone had told me a film about Sigmund Freud and featuring a sadomasochistic relationship would be so boring, i would've said they were mad. This film is so un-engaging i saw it in the morning and still fell asleep.

    2: Once Upon a Time in Anatolia. I'm sorry Mark, i've never walked out of a film, but half an hour before the end i was so un-engaged and thinking "ol just end already" i did consider bailing. I stuck it out to the end but gained nothing.

    3: Elles. Whilst not as bad as Sleeping Beauty (the absolute worst film of 2011) this fell into the same trap of having little or nothing to say about its subject. Which begs the question why make a film about it?

    4: Free men. This had an interesring premise but thats it, there was no suspence no tension and no sense of danger. A missed opportunity.

    I have not seen any of the titles on Mark's list but was going to see The Devil Inside until i noticed that the average user rating on the Vue website was one star and reading the responses i think Kermode was kind in his review. Given the number of people who said Kermode was wrong about John Carter i'm surprised it didn't feature on anyones top 5 list. Mark i know Andrew Stanton was a bit chippy when you interviewed him, but worst of the year so far?

  • Comment number 8.

    The worst film I've seen (and I know I'm not the target demographic for this) was the Hunger Games. Absolute dross from start to finish, even my girlfriend who'd read and liked the books found it dull. Other notable rubbish include:

    The Pact - even the non stop nipple erection of the main character couldn't make this interesting.

  • Comment number 9.

    "Who's Driving the Boat 2" comes out in October.

  • Comment number 10.

    I quite enjoyed John Carter from Barsoom. Perhaps it helps that I went in with my expectations dragging along the floor, both from reviews and the trailer which frankly looked brown and boring, but the film itself caught my interest and I had no problem sitting through it. IMDB currently has it rated at 6.8 and I'd say that's about right.

  • Comment number 11.

    My Bottom 5 of this this year so far:

    5. Snow White and Huntsman - Apart from the hilariously bad dwarves (From stoner Bob Hoskins to Ray Winston doing the usual Cockney geezer) the rest of it was just awful drivel. Examples of how bad it is: Kristen Stewart's one facial expression, the cringe worthy heart of the forest scene, Charlize Theron's far far over the top acting, all with a script that even Shyamalan would have gone "what the hell?" at - "The iron may melt, but it writhes within itself" What the hell are you one about!!

    4. Martha Marcy May Marlene - Sometimes withholding information in a film creates suspense, holding too much just makes it confsing and boring. You have no idea why she left home, how she ended up at the cult, why is she at the cult, it's even unclear as to why she left it. I mean bloody hell, it took an hour to figure out the woman she was staying with was her sister. It's also got one of the slowest fade-to-black I've ever seen in a film and one of the worst lines and worst delivery of it -"You'd make a terrible mother." If I was any unsettled Dr K it was because I was so bored by it.

    3. The Pact - It had the dream house problem of wanting to be a few stories in one. It wasn't scary and just plain boring. Also there's no need for the slow motion dream sequence, it looked like it was just there because they could do it.

    2. Chronicle - The main character was a dweeb, The father was too nasty to be believable and I hate all these found footage films now and especially this one! I hated it! It would have been my number 1, but if not for...

    1. The Hunger Games - What get's more about this is that everyone else liked it. I won't go on about (did that in the top 5 films response), but basically, the book is up there with twilight as how bad a book can be written. It's boring. I had no intrest at all in the characters. I wented them all to be dead by the end. The shakey "IT'S GRITTY" camera, the costumes and the cutting to Stanley Tucci and Toby Jones in the TV studio just to tell you what something is. I feel extremely depressed by the fact that's goning to be 3 more films of this, which sound if anything even worse.

  • Comment number 12.

    Battleship. Unbearably long, boring, stupid and uninspired. I never thought I'd see a worse film at the cinema than Transformers 2, but here it is.

  • Comment number 13.

    There are two films on the Good Doctor's list that I can say without a shadow of a doubt are of no discernible merit (those are The Devil Inside and Piranha 3DD). There is, however, one film that I would describe as decent, earnest, pleasantly enjoyable popcorn entertainment. That film is John Carter.

  • Comment number 14.

    Someone has to say it. Prometheus is the worst film released this year so far. Complete dreck.

  • Comment number 15.

    I'm surprised you didn't put Star Wars: The Phantom Menace in 3D on the list, the most useless film of the year.

  • Comment number 16.

    5. Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance - So dull that the only scene I can remember is where he wees fire. Seriously bad.

    4. This Means War - Not a single laugh. A series of hateful characters doing hateful things. Such a waste of Tom Hardy.

    3. The Sitter - The "Oscar-nominated" Jonah Hill doing what he does best: being crap in a crap comedy with a crap script, a crap premise and crap characters. Crap.

    2. The Devil Inside - For turning the demonically possessed into stand-up comedians who spout heckle put-downs. It plays out almost like a spoof of The Exorcist: and not a good one. I won't even bother with the ending... because they didn't.

    1. Jack And Jill - Just dirge. Complete dirge. I can tolerate the fact that Adam Sandler was awful, but look what they did to Al Pacino. Criminal.

  • Comment number 17.

    Well, again, since it's entirely subjective - and baring in mind I get don't see as many bad films as the Doctor and save my money for things I genuinely want to see:

    5. The Innkeepers
    4. Corpo Celeste
    3. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
    2. Le Havre
    1. Red Tails

  • Comment number 18.

    5. Haywire - Soderbergh makes a total hash of this movie with Gina Carano delivering one of the most wooden performances in cinematic history, the movie should have gone quicker and been a bit more action packed rather than trying to play it safe and make it tedious at the same time

    4. Man on a Ledge - Even before one enters the cinema, you would think just for once they would actually make the movie sound wonderful by promoting it with such good posters just as this one had but the minute you realise that Sam "Wooden" Worthington is in it, it beggers belief that this movie actually got good reviews even though I wasn't sure what to make of it. An absolute mess, boring and just plain awful

    3. This Means War - It's a great plot for a romantic comedy, one genre which I enjoy, but this movie was so incredibly bad that one might have thought that a credible actor of Tom Hardy's nature would have passed on this rather than make this a low for him after such a strong run of outstanding movies

    2. Wrath of the Titans 3D - Awful acting (not too sure if it was acting or if they were just wanting the day to end so they could get there paycheck), cliched action, boring plot....not even sure why they even made it in the first place...Even I could have rehashed it into a 15 rated movie and made the 3D better

    1. Men in Black 3D - The most drivel, boring, tedious, cliched and unfunny movie I've ever seen from Will Smith in years. At a cost of $215m, you would have expected a longer running time, better 3D but most of all, Smith to turn in a comic performance which we as humans would want to laugh at....how hard can that be? Apparently, extremely hard with this garbage

  • Comment number 19.

    Bottom movies:
    5. Polish Roulette
    4. The Iron Lady
    3. Wrath of the Titains
    2. Cosmopolis
    1. The Sitter

  • Comment number 20.

    What 9barr said: Prometheus stinks worse than the river Thames. A more crushing disappointment of a movie I cannot bring to mind. Yes, the opening sequence was suitably bizzarre and RoboFassbender was great, but the rest...dear oh dear oh dear. Script? - was there one?
    Would someone please dispatch a bounty hunter to 'retire' the replicant Scott before he deposits a vat load of manure over the rest of his sci-fi legacy with the (apparently) imminent Blade Runner sequel. Don't Ridley. Just don't!

  • Comment number 21.

    Really? Is Dr K seriously suggesting that JOHN CARTER is a worse film than BATTLESHIP and THIS MEANS WAR? I'm sorry, but even by Dr K's own sometimes wonky standards, that makes about as much sense as COSMOPOLIS (ie, not much).

  • Comment number 22.

    For me the worst film I've seen this year is easily, The Hunger Games (and I've not seen utter rubbish like This Means War, Battleship or Top Cat: The Movie, all of which I'm surprised didn't even get mentioned in this video). With Hunger Games, it had one of the worst female protagonists I've seen whose attempts to be strong come across as incredibly selfish or stupid, some of the worst camera work I've ever seen which gave me a headache while watching it (making it the only 2D film I've seen to give me a headache), it completely wasted the talents of Toby Jones and the plot-holes in the film related to the Games themselves are large enough to drive bulldozers through.

    I also want to use this to defend John Carter. While the film is not perfect with some awful performances from Taylor Kitsch and Daryl Sabara, the film overall is very fun. The Thark culture is fascinating to watch, the alien dog is great fun and Lynn Collins gives a great performance. For me John Carter is good fun but I can see why some people wouldn't like it

  • Comment number 23.

    5) The Devil Inside: Agree with everything Mark said just dreadful.
    4) Jack and Jill: Adam Sandler, as a woman, romancing Al Pacino, need I say more?
    3) The Sitter: Jonah Hill slips back into his old funny fat boy routine after wowing in Moneyball in a film that isn't funny or particularly good-natured.
    2) Project X: Offensive to just about everyone and promotes the fact that if you pour enough booze down their necks you can get any woman you want.
    1) This Means War: I'm surprised this wasn't in Mark's list seeing as it comes from McG and is about two men who essentially stalk a woman to get close to her which she finds utterly charming.

    Other stinkers include Deviation, Piranha 3DD, Gone, Wanderlust, The Divide and Hard Boiled Sweets

  • Comment number 24.

    @6: Severance wasn't such a bad film, despite starring Tim McInnery... and Danny Dyer.

    My bottom five films so far this year are (in no particular order):

    The Angel's Share
    Marvel Avengers Assemble
    Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter
    Safe House
    Wrath of the Titans

    (I've only seen about 7 films so far).

  • Comment number 25.

    I seem to have managed to avoid most of the dreck this year. Battleship's easily the worst film I've seen at the cinema in 2012 tho. Easily.

    And I also rather liked John Carter, I'd rather watch it again than any of the Star Wars prequels, for example, or Prometheus. I get the feeling that pulp sci fi just isn't in the good Doctor's wheelhouse.

  • Comment number 26.

    PRO-ME-THE-US. Not only the worst film of the year, but possibly ever. The likes of Piranha 3DD, Devil Inside and Danny Dyer - well, you know it's going to be a bit duff. But for a big budget 'prequel' of Alien, you expect something special. Prometheus was only 'special' in the 'pat it on the head and patronise it' kind of way. I hardly ever swear when I leave the cinema, and Prometheus had me jeffin all the way home.

  • Comment number 27.

    The worst film of the year so far that I have seen is 'Prometheus' even though I enjoyed it for what it was. I agree that your bottom five undoubtedly have that totally defeated... but I've been privilaged enough to have had the option not to see those turkeys :o)

    'Prometheus' is pretty poor though... looks lovely, but beyond that it is largely a rather empty, though entertaining, vessel.

  • Comment number 28.

    Dear Mark,
    With all Doctor's respect, Carter worse than W.E.?!
    Impossible.
    Worst. Ever.
    Glove. Abbie. Cornish.

  • Comment number 29.

    Dr. K.

    John Carter, while not very good was way more tolerable than some others.

    And to be honest, W.E was by far much much much much much much much worse than John Carter.

    John Carter was NOT the worst film so far. It's bad, but not that bad.

    You must have mistaken it for that other Taylor Kitsch movie, Battleship. Far stupider and more mind numbingly boring than John Carter ever could be. At least John Carter had an air of Flash Gordon camp about it which kind of forgives it but not entirely. I think you're being a little too harsh on John Carter. Not that harsh, as it is a poor film, but I wouldn't rank it above W.E or Battleship.

  • Comment number 30.

    Bottom 3: Dark Shadows, We Bought a Zoo, Rock of Ages.
    Dark Shadows was an absolute mess. Even the 'all-star' cast couldn't save the ridiculous ending, a blatant copy of Death Becomes Her.
    We Bought a Zoo - sickly sweet trash that made me want to vomit on my way out of the cinema. Cliché after cliché after cliché.
    And finally - Rock of Ages. The most repulsive, abysmally abhorrent corpse of a film I've ever had the displeasure of seeing. Frustratingly irritating leads and a shockingly unfair portrayl of CZ-J compile to make a soundtrack of the worst songs of the eighties with a few bits of dialogue in between which Stephen Hawking could have acted better. Emotionally scarred for the rest of my life seeing Russell Brand and Alec Baldwin kiss on screen. Les Miz suddenly looks a lot better...

  • Comment number 31.

    Whilst not seeing the full films, but seeing the Trailers for both "Jack and Jill" and "Rock of Ages" sufficiently off-putting for me not to waste my hard earnt pitiful wage on them.

  • Comment number 32.

    In no particular order

    John Carter of Mars

    Ghost Rider 2

    The Cold light of Day

    The Iron Lady

    Wrath of the Titans

  • Comment number 33.

    I'm not saying "Prometheus" because I haven't seen it but I am going to say "Cabin in the Woods". The first premise isn't even original. A steaming pile of ordure.

  • Comment number 34.

    Technically John Carter is now in profit – it performed strongly in China – and by the time it's played across the globe, gone to satellite, DVD & terrestrial etc. Disney will probably start thinking of a sequel. I haven't seen it so have no idea as to quality.

    I'm still catching up on DVD, so from last year: Tower Heist: a really stinky stinker.
    Kill List: An incoherent mess that so would like to be like much better movies but fails on so many counts.

    As for all the love out there for 'Drive'! Another plot that's full of holes; it's superficial gloss and explicit violence do not a classic make.
    Imagine Drive's basic premise in the hands of Walter Hill or Michael Mann and you'd end up with a much, much better movie. Or, given Drive tries hard to emulate much better films by Hill and Mann just watch their back list.

  • Comment number 35.

    1. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
    2. The Pact
    3. Haywire
    4. Rock of Ages
    5. John Carter

  • Comment number 36.

    I think Dr K's been a little harsh on John Carter, was it brilliant?, no, but it wasn't a disaster of biblical proportions either. To quote one of the good Dr's sayings "It was remarkably unremarkable" Not awful but basically average. The marketing though of this movie was just plain embarrassing and borderline neanderthal, why did Andrew Stanton go along with it? when i've heard him speak in the past he's always seemed to be a pretty clued up intelligent sort of chap so this baffles me no end?. Harvey Bernhard who was the producer of the original Omen film said that Fox's original marketing campaign for it was atrocious and he had to be physically restrained from hitting one of the marketing execs when he told Bernhard "Relax, it's only a movie!" Bernhard then said "It may be only a movie to you but this thing has been 2 yrs of my life!" Clever marketing can make or break a movie, something like The Omen was an unknown quantity and after intervention from it's producers had a new well thought out ad campaign which i'm sure fixated itself in the conscience of the general public. I'm convinced had the marketing for JC been better it would've been a big hit. At the end of the day when Sly Stallone called the last Rocky film "Rocky Balboa" we all knew who that was for obvious reasons..did anyone really think they could get away with calling a 200 million dollar film "John Carter" and audiences would flock to see it? Who's running Hollywood these days - Danny Dyer?

    I don't have a bottom 5 yet, i like to do my lists at years end but i agree with 3 of Dr K's choices.

  • Comment number 37.

    actually bump John Carter to 6, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengence 5, so forgettable I forgot it in my list.

  • Comment number 38.

    I'm pretty much in agreement with Dr K though Battleship should knock John Carter from no 1.
    As for Prometheus, I think people are confusing biggest disappointment with worst film. It's not that bad. But it was disappointing.

  • Comment number 39.

    Didnt see any of these,lucky for me, Mark suffers so i dont have to. For which I am eternally grateful.
    As to some of the above comments. Hungers games is good just not a patch on Battle Royal, Prometheus is good just not a patch on Alien 1 or 2 . I know the numbers don`t fit but maybe Prometheus needs to be considered the Godfather3 of this century ( 3+4 really just don`t count ) , good but a tragedy anyway you look at it.

  • Comment number 40.

    I went to see W.E for a laugh as i didnt fancy anything else that was out that week. Serves me right for being a smartarse, it was a pig of a film.
    Ive always remembered how, the week before seeing it, Spielberg was on the show talking to Simon and Mark about Warhorse and the degree to which it is ok to manipulate the audience. His view being something along the lines that you have to earn the right to do it through story and characters and not just take shortcuts basic human empathy.
    W.E has two unbelievably crass scenes in which pregnant women get kicked in the stomache by their husbands. Madonna just doesnt have the directorial skill to make scenes like that work.
    As Mark said at the time, fair play to Andrea Riseborough for making some truly dreadful writing watchable through sheer acting charisma. Hopefully she'l get the stink of this off her when Shadow Dancer comes out, saw the trailer the other week and really liked the look of it.

  • Comment number 41.

    I liked John Carter :(

    I thought it was a good laugh and reminded me of Waterworld. Yes the idea of the world being filled with water is a big stretch but it's not as bad as people made out at the time and I have a gut feeling John Carter will be the same in the future.
    I think people went in there expecting Wall-E as it had the same director in charge but instead got a film taking the laws of physics very lightly, as all blockbuster films do mind and a film targeted for children and adults which I think is hard to pull off.

    There's more terrible dialogue, plot and character flaws in Prometheus which you enjoyed (me as well btw) but for some reason John Carter is number one when Prometheus doesn't even get a mention.

    [spoilers for Prometheus)
    I will take just 15-20 mins of Prometheus to show you how silly it is where they have just discovered the egg things in that odd looking tomb.
    The two scientists who decide to get out of that tomb somehow get lost even though they have a direct comms connection to Prometheus who have a 3D intime projection of the map and know exactly where everyone are. Not only that but they decide to go back to that tomb and I think one of them was smoking pot and playing with an early version of a face hugger. This is suppose to be one of the worlds best geolligist on a trillion dollar mission who has been to Harvard etc possibly and the two of them are acting like...I don't know, I would say idiot's but that would be insulting idiot's.
    Now not only that but you have the Captain playing around not caring about their welfare on a climate/area they know nothing about and somehow with some of the worse dialogue I have ever heard, manages to get with Charlize Theron
    And all that is only about 15 mins of the film. Now don't get me wrong I enjoyed it but it never goes anywhere, it has terrible dialogue and characters and flushes away logic. I totally respect why people hate it as it is a ridiculous film.
    [End of spoilers for Prometheus)

    I think the only reasons I can think of to why I liked it was the direction, production and moments it offered similar to Andrei Sarkovsky's Solaris and a cast doing brilliant (Mainly Michael Fassbender and Logan Marshall-Green) with a silly script that should never have gotten past post production.

  • Comment number 42.

    With all the bad things being said about Prometheus, I don't think it was bad it just quite a let down (my mate and fellow film course-mate hated it). It might have been the hypes fault around it, but I don't think that can be entirely blamed for it. First thing is, it was slightly marketed wrong for instance not any of the filmmakers wanted it to be associated with Alien, then why have submarine-like sound from the original alien in the trailer. Also not only was it tied to the Alien franchise (sort of) - a horror franchise - that's what people would have be expecting which was also what trailer gave off. What it ultimately was more of a thriller. This is certainly what I was expecting. (SPOILER) The only "horror" element in it was the caesarian scene, which most people (well the people that I know) agree was one of the best scenes in the entire film. Apart from that there was nothing and very little suspense to go with it (END SPOILER).

    But I agree the script was all over the place ((SPOILER)the dialogue in the love-making scene is awful (END SPOILER)) and some of the characters who you meant to like, aren't made to be that likeable (Holloway) or are just not made for you to feel anything at all about (the two pilots, the captain).

    The saving grace in the film is Michael Fassbender, who gives the character a kind of ambiguity to him, and to a lesser extent: a passable to good performance from Noomi Rapace. Otherwise it would have been a total and utter mess of a film.

  • Comment number 43.

    1. Battleship- Stupid, boring, hateful crass. That's all there is to it.
    2. Top Cat: The Movie- Made all the worse because I'm a Top Cat fan.
    3. Lay The Favourite- Bruce Willis aside (Who was excellent), the entire cats are just extremely annoying and drove me up the wall, especially Rebecca Hall
    4. John Carter- Dull, plodding and nonsensical, but did nothing to offend me, so doesn't finish as low as it could have done.
    5. This Means War- So by the numbers it made me feel I was in a Maths lesson. Which is a really bad connotation.

  • Comment number 44.

    Mark, I'm glad you mentioned Prometheus, not because I hate it, but because as a passionate fan of the Alien franchise and having looked forward to this film so much I wanted to post my thoughts and as importantly I wanted you to read them.

    I saw the last 2D screening at my local world of Cine, in a rather empty screening. For a large part of the film I had my email to the film review show typed up in my head. In it was how I thought that actually there was plenty of small talk, and that I think you need to watch it again and really pay attention to the dialogue. I also think that you need to understand that there are crucial differences between the characters in Prometheus and Alien which mean that their whole philosophies are different. In Prometheus the leading characters are dreamers, ambitious, explorers, their heads filled with ambition and big ideas that are fundamental to humanity and crucially were a big emphasis in the film to really showcase those human traits, whilst in the background you get the different fears, attitudes and mindsets of the smaller characters. In Alien there were people on the job, transporters doing their same old repetitive lives and it is reflected in their lack of ambition, and in their waryness and pure fear of what happens to them. That grows in Prometheus but is never fully explored, which is a problem I will address later.

    You see big ideas in David, you see the performance of a lifetime from Michael Fassbender and you see the journey he took to discover himself, showing the fundamental negatives of an android which is their devotion to their creator to their positive abilities, the ability to learn how to be human.

    It is visually stunning, and it surely has to have several Oscar nominations for the technical stuff and Michael Fassbender has to be up for either best or best supporting actor.

    Now on to the negatives, the frustration. I actually felt it was telling a good story, I was engaged and really wanted it to go deeper and give me everything it wanted to offer, and then it ended. In fact, it kept jumping. We got almost nothing on Earth at the beginning, why not? I wanted to get to know the characters before they set off. They then tried to tell a love story, I was engaged, then they killed him off. It then tried to tell the fear story, and then the human hope and discovery story, and it killed everyone off and most amazingly she just flew off the end. I mean, what the giddy ant? I've never known a film to just go "there's your 2 hours, now go away". It just...ended?!

    There are several things that alarm me, and they are all interlinked. The first was that it felt to me leaving the cinema that the executives at Fox had told Ridley to cut a lot of material out, that it had to be 2 hours long and that was that. What concerned me even more was that the running time of the film that I checked online beforehand was 126 minutes, that's 2 hours and 6 minutes, my screening lasted 1 hour 45 minutes, I lost 20 minutes of film and I know this because there was a scene at the start mentioned in an email about a man diving off the edge in Iceland, it wasn't in my film! The film was set to start at 6.30pm, the trailers ended at 6.50pm and the film finished at 8.30pm. I've not only been robbed of the full length film that I should have got, all 4 hours of it telling the whole story, but I've then been robbed of part of the film that the executives wanted me to see.

    Could have been a masterpiece, instead I'm left hoping the DVD makes up for somebody spoiling it.

  • Comment number 45.

    it's time for the government to step in and make sure that there is a 50/50 split of 2D and 3D screenings per film for all cinemas that show 3D films.

  • Comment number 46.

    Like a previous poster I too try my best to avoid obviously crappy movies but even just the trailer for Rock Of Ages makes me want to barf. That being said, out of a fondness for the 1981 original I saw the remake of Clash of the Titans a few years back and against my better judgement sat through almost all of Wrath of the Titans. I knew the acting would be bad, I knew the plot would be reed thin but I thought there would at least be some titans! It was just Liam Neeson tied to a rock while Perseus battled an actor dressed up as a cyclops (cheap) and another actor with some horns glued on to look like a minotaur (even cheaper). Was this Doctor Who the movie? Where were the Medusa type nemeses, the Krakenesque monsters? Oh wait there was a Jim Hensonist dog with two heads. Hated it and, be honest Dr K - Prometheus was pants. Ridley Scott just George Lucased the Alien franchise. Is nothing sacred?

  • Comment number 47.

    Is the Good Dr. going soft on the rom-coms?

  • Comment number 48.

    Well I try to avoid bad films but:

    5. The Woman in Black
    4. Men in Black 3
    3. Gone
    2. This Means War
    1. Carnage

  • Comment number 49.

    I'll give you John Carter and Piranha 3DD but are you really leaving out the risible Battleships and Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close? And I'm sorry, Mark, but the despicable propaganda machine that was Act of Valour trumps the ineptitude of W.E. any day of the week and twice on Sundays!

    And that rounds out the worst five although honourable mentions go to The Dictator and The Lucky One.

  • Comment number 50.

    Sorry, but although John Carter was an insipid mess of a movie, it does not belong on this list. While they may have fallen flat, Disney did make a lot of admirable decisions regarding that film - they chose a director who was experienced with narrative cinema and gave him free reign and a huge budget to make something with real scope.

    Yes the story was extremely old hat and the main star was a total charisma vacuum, but there were so many technical and artistic achievements in the film that to say that Battleship was better is just ridiculous. The few things that BS did well, JC did miles better.

    Stop taking Andrew Stanton's slightly arsey interview to heart and admit that, while not particularly good, it is nowhere near as stinky as you're making out.

    PS. Piranha 3DD should be at the top of the list, and is now the watermark by which all other drivel shall be compared.

  • Comment number 51.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 52.

    "Let me know your bottom five of 2012 so far, and if you say Prometheus, I'm not listening!" I have to take exception to this.

    On Prometheus: the narrative is an orgy of plot holes and inconsistencies; the dialogue is less than pathetic; the performances are misjudged and confused; the people-getting-hurt-by-things scenes are tacked-on and embarrassing; the predictable, sacrificial explosion-climax seems like deliberate comedy, when in fact it's meant to be moving; and the "revealing" coda comes at the end of a tedious, dreary, ill-conceived and totally uninteresting film, so who on earth cares?

    On top of all this, the science is mostly phoney and the BIG THEME (which Kermode praised in this review on the Mayo-Kermode show) is clearly just a pointless charade.

    How did such a thing happen? Well, it seems to me that a hastily-written first draft sceenplay that badly needed at least 6 months of work was okay-ed by Sir Ridley because on first glance it ticked the right boxes so let's just get on with it already, it'll make money anyways so who cares? The laughable cynicism behind the making of (and preposterous over-hyping of) Transformers 1, 2 and 3 is equally applicable to Prometheus.

    Kermode said in his review on the Simon Mayo show, "I think some people have been disappointed because they were expecting something else". Well, you're absolutely right. We were expecting a good film. Something with a little tension, a little bite, and a little emotional engagement.

    But, I must say, after 2010's Robin Hood, we should've known never to throw our hard-earned cash at Sir Ridley ever again. We only have ourselves to blame.

  • Comment number 53.

    If you hate Dyer so much Mark, why on earth do you keep watching his films? You know he's not going to suddenly surprise you, or any of us for that matter. He's not even good enough for Eastenders!
    Anyway, from what i've seen so far this year, Shame has to be the worst movie i've watched in a theatre, just artsy fartsy smut. The fact that it has been critically lauded is beyond my comprehension.
    The Avengers is down there too, Joss Whedon is a terrible writer and director, Robert Downey Jnr is an ass of an actor and it was just too light and childish.

  • Comment number 54.

    "and if you say Prometheus, I'm not listening"

    That gave me a chuckle.

    What's also making me chuckle is how a lot of people are ignoring it.


    I suppose I should be thankful that I haven't seen five films this year that I've hated. Mirror Mirror was not great, but the costume design was lovely. Hunger Games had problems, certainly, but Jennifer Lawrence was good and I found the world it built up interesting.

    Worst for me so far was the Devil Inside. I didn't care about the characters, it didn't scare me and the blah ending was just that.......blah.

  • Comment number 55.

    If I say Prometheus 3 times, will Sir Ridley appear and make inconclusive fence sitting noises about the future of 3D?

    John Carter -- I may have been in a contrarian mood, but I kinda liked it. It needed much better pacing, but as a slice of retro flash gordon space opera, it was OK, and even though I might not recommended it, I would rather see a better cut, if one is ever produced of John Carter than any cut of Prometheus which is the most expensive Alien rip off movie I've ever seen. If John Carter had been made on a Roger Corman budget with a star the likes of say Marjoe Gortner, we wouldn't even be having this conversation.

  • Comment number 56.

    I haven't had much of an opportunity this year thus far to see many films on the big screen. As such I can only say that the film-going experience that I enjoyed least so far is singular and belongs to the film you don't wish to have mentioned.

    It had manifold faults (at the most simple level being a piece of design rather than any other sort of cinema) but the main problem was the disapointment.

    Apart from that The Hunger Games simply because I was so incredibly bored. It was far too long, not magnificiently acted (damning with faint praise) and all blows rang hollow despite the very grim and emotive subject matter it was attempting to deal with.

  • Comment number 57.

    Oh, COME ON, Mark. Number one! Ridiculous. Let me know when you actually decide to review the movie JOHN CARTER, rather than its production/marketing strategy and superficial resemblance to other movies you dislike.

  • Comment number 58.

    Unfortunately, I've yet to see enough movies to constitute a Top Five and a Bottom Five list, so I'm going to cheat and do a 'Top Three and Bottom Two' list:

    Top Three

    1. The Turin Horse - Majestic cinema of the purest form and the highest caliber, Hungarian auteur Bela Tarr makes his best film in this mesmerising picture that is strangely inviting and utterly full of dread.

    2. Into The Abyss - A thought provoking, truthful, and chillingly direct work from one of cinema's great masters. Herzog hows great tact and wisdom as an exploration into deep, dark waters.

    3. The Angels' Share - Ken Loach's latest is a charming film full of youthful vibrancy. Also, Paul Laverty knows how to scribe a 'social-realist' picture thoroughly entertaining.

    Bottom Two

    2. Rock Of Ages - This 'Pop 'n Roll' musical is the cinematic equivalent to Nickleback: no matter how much you try, you're still a sheep in human clothing, and you're never gonna be a rock star. Also, berserk does not neccessarily mean good!

    1. Jack And Jill - Adam Sandler's latest is another in an (unfortunately) ever-increasing pill of disposable fare. However, this is the top of the pile, its foul stench resonating through all, and causing potentially dangerous spasmodic convulsions to all within its reach.

    http://snoopcallymac.blogspot.co.uk/

  • Comment number 59.

    @ #57 - Dominic Barlow

    "Oh, COME ON, Mark. Number one! Ridiculous. Let me know when you actually decide to review the movie JOHN CARTER, rather than its production/marketing strategy and superficial resemblance to other movies you dislike."

    You know, I have to agree with this post. Sure, John Carter isn't a great film, it's not even that good, but an an alright one for what it is; one that I enjoyed in an eat popcorn and relax sort of way (not that I eat in the cinema, but still). Sure, it had some cheesy lines, some of the battle scenes and main character's feats were a bit unbelievable and eye rolling, but I just took it as some loose fantasy film, in the mould of Flash Gordon and Buck Rogers, and let it entertain me on a superficial level. It didn't set itself as to be taken too seriously, and so I can give it some slack for that. It kept me fairly interested and also gave me some laughs... plus I could also smirk/cringe/laugh at the cheesy bits. Still, it seems that its price tag rather than the film itself is what excites some more than anything else. Sure, it shouldn't have cost that much, more could have been done with that money (understatement alert), but as a film, I didn't find it as terrible as some are making out, certainly not the worst of the year. Perspective, please!

    I really can't take Mark's bottom five seriously due to John Carter being his number one choice. Sure, some of the films mentioned deserve a place there, but where's Top Cat? Where's Top Cat, Mark? Where? I can't see Top Cat on your list...

  • Comment number 60.

    I have not seen one bad film at the movie theater this year... And I've only seen one film on your list, which happens to be your number one, John Carter (my own review: http://crashlanden.wordpress.com/2012/03/10/john-carter-2012-review-pg-13-and-a-day-late/). I actually enjoyed it, possibly because my expectations were lowered by the less than stellar reviews (including your own). I have to wonder if your opinion of its' director after some of his... what's the word? Snarkier?... Snarkier remarks during your interview with him colored your opinion of his film.

    John Carter was par for the course as far as big, safe mainstream summer blockbusters go, but I'm sure it HAS to be far from the worst offering that the film industry has unleashed upon the public to this point. Humor goes a long way with me in these types of films and there were a number of big laughs, at least for the audience that I viewed it with. Surely (and I didn't call you Shirley), there is more artistic merit than some of the dopier films on your list or movies like Ghost Rider 2 or Battleship, a movie based on a decades old BOARD GAME.

    I'd rather hear your honest opinion of a worst film rather than one where you seem to be just harboring ill will towards the movie because of your feelings for its director.

  • Comment number 61.

    Mark, I'm utterly baffled how you can say Prometheus is a good film. I'm a huge Alien and Ridley Scott fan but that film made no sense whatsoever. Massive plot holes, inconsistencies with the supposed Alien universe, characters doing unbelievably stupid things, terrible writing and an overall sense of that there was at least 25 minutes left on the cutting room floor.

    I left the cinema more than a little miffed. Yes, it looks pretty but that's not enough in my book.

    Massive letdown. I don't really care if there's a sequel to try and explain some of the questions asked. I won't be going.

  • Comment number 62.

    @6 and 24
    Danny Dyer has indeed made one good film.Severance, made in the woods behind my house, has great black humour.When the man looses his head, now that was funny, and the foot in the fridge ! Oh yeah and I forgot `I dont do drugs`

  • Comment number 63.

    Iron Sky - not fun

    This is not a film - great idea but it really wasnt

    I haven't seen much of the tosh that has been out in the cinema this year but on the festival circuit:

    Life Just Is - insipid 'student life' comedy drama - vacuous nonsense http://bit.ly/Mv74jc

    The Search for Emak Bakia - extremely dull documentary that has no clear journey http://bit.ly/MG8QgC

    Brake - a bad version of buried in which the twist becomes apparent 20 minutes in

  • Comment number 64.

    worst 5 so far that I have seen (although bear in mind that I probably haven't worst of the worst)...
    Rock of Ages
    Avengers Assemble
    A Dangerous Method
    Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
    Rampart

    Oh and WE is really not that bad Mark - really http://cathylomax.blogspot.co.uk/2012/02/in-defence-of-madonnas-we-kind-of.html

  • Comment number 65.

    Prometheus is my film favorite film of the year. There you go.
    Bad films you say?
    Haven't seen many because tend to avoid them, but on saying that I watched Wanderlust with my sister the other day, absolutely horrible. I also watched roughly 15 minutes of This Means War for reasons which have evaded me for now, dreadful stuff.

  • Comment number 66.

    My worst film of the year so as was The Hunger Games. I am a great believer in reading the books first when it comes to adaptations, but for what seemed like endless months I was bombarded with trailers of The Hunger Games (starting to agree with you Mark, in that sometimes it’s better to go in blind) so I decided I would go and see it despite not having read the books. I have never left the cinema early from a film but all of me very much wanted to do so! It was boring and repetitive I have never wanted all the characters to die so badly as to just end the film! What angers me most is that I know there are more awful films coming.…

  • Comment number 67.

    I have to say John Carter is far from the top of the worst films of year and the criticisms you have against it I can easily level them against Prometheus, while I would not go as far to say is the worst film of the year but it was the biggest disappointment of the year by far and it committed the biggest crime of all time it ended off for a sequel not explaining anything, you would think after the 4 failures of films and with Ridley Scott back at the Helm they would at least say flip it lets make one that at least can match Alien and Aliens.

    So yea John Carter while not the best film in the world shares the same faults as Prometheus only it has a better ending and has a nice pulp feel. Other than that its a fine list, prob change John Carter for Battleship you have the same lead but a so much worse film and Rihanna come on!

  • Comment number 68.

    Every-time I get the worst top five film list so far...I just want to watch them.....Maybe I just need help. Top of my list W.E I bet that's going to be really bad.

  • Comment number 69.

    Bottom five, in order:-

    5. Prometheus.
    4. Prometheus.
    3. Prometheus.
    2. Prometheus.
    1. Prometheus.

  • Comment number 70.

    I am surprised JACK and JILL didn't make your list but as I sensibly haven't wasted money on it then I can't comment. As I try to research a film before I go I tend not to see many stinkers but have still caught some (many on a preview) that don't deserve my bum sitting on a chair for 2 hours to watch them.

    5. The Pact - everyone in the cinema had worked it out before the main character did - even the unborn foetus in the lady's tummy next to me had done that!
    4. Extremely Loud and IC etc... - Average but I couldn't think of a clever pun on the title that hadn't been done before.
    3. Free Men - as has been said by another reader, a good premise but nowhere near as exciting as just looking at the poster!
    2. American Reunion - yawn - little porn!
    1. J. Edgar - I feel genuinely sorry for Hollywood's older actors that, rather than be hired by directors for movies, have to watch 30 year old men stagger around the screen in appalling prosthetic make up. Cast yourself CLINT!

  • Comment number 71.

    i can't believe Mark is engaging in censorship of ideas.

    One minute he's arguing that the case against 3D needs to be made continually and repeatedly. The next he's saying that reiterating exactly how rubbish Prometheus was is not permitted.

    I am very disappointed.

  • Comment number 72.

    Thankfully I've seen very few movies that I would class as really bad, in fact only two that I'd consider this weak:

    1. The Iron Lady - biggest missed opportunity of the year
    2. Safe House - constant shaky-cam is not enthralling, it's ANNOYING!

    And "John Carter" was not that bad.

  • Comment number 73.

    I wrongly added my top 5 worst movies on the previous blog but I forgot to add New Years Eve. I know it was a Christmas 2011 release but it haunted the multiplexes for way too long in January.
    Gene Siskel once said about bad films with a starry cast "I would rather watch the people involved in this movie just sitting having lunch instead of watching this." New Years Eve is one of those movies. Empty of head, empty of heart and empty of anything. Just a load of stars collecting a cheque and phoning in a redundant script of grating cliches.

  • Comment number 74.

    Question.
    Am I the only person on here that thought Shame was painfully boring?
    In honor of the subject matter I did appreciated the lack of eroticism in the sex scenes but other than that I felt the film was moving in slow motion like the version of New York, New York and an overlong jogging sequence.
    I do have the patience for great slow burners like The Descendants and I was anxious to see this film after reading Ebert's four star review and hearing what the good doctor had to say but I just did not find Shame emotionally engaging and the perfomances were not compelling. Am I wrong? Iknow I'm not!

  • Comment number 75.

    I didn't much of Shame either, or more to the point, the Jury is still out as to what I actually think about it. One thing I do know is that Carey Mulligan can't sing and even the producer (who was at a Q&A when I saw it) said that she hadn't had singing lessons she had lessons just so she could get the accent right.

  • Comment number 76.

  • Comment number 77.

    As I've previously indicated in several postings, "Prometheus" is, by far, worst film I've seen this year. Nothing to do with it being "Canon" (or otherwise), nor it not being a horror film; it just isn't written very well.

    You correctly praised "Inception" for proving that blockbusters could be intelligent; that you could carry an audience along with complex ideas, so long as the script was decent. With it's sloppy execution, "Prometheus" has set blockbuster Science Fiction films back several years; where sloppy, implausible plotting, one-dimensional incredible (as in "lacking credibility") characters making stupid decisions merely to advance the story are all acceptable, as long as the effects are superficially spectacular.

    For all it's faults, at least the risible John Carter fulfilled genre expectations and displayed a degree of self-awareness of its underlying silliness. Scott clearly thought he was at the helm of something profound, but forgot to make a real film in the process. Unforgivable in my view.

    I'll say it again: he should retire forthwith.

  • Comment number 78.

    Prom.... Just kidding :D

    Can't think of the worst film this year. I've been quite picky about what I've been to see.

  • Comment number 79.

    I too enjoyed John Carter and can't understand why it is Mark's number 1 least favourite of the year. I went in with low expectations like others on here and ended up enjoying it. I thought it remained true to it's pulp origins in it's characters and design work and Taylor Kitsch was pretty good in the lead role.

    I always find making a list of films I didn't like a lot more difficult. I can't see every movie that comes out so I try not to see movies that I'm pretty sure I won't enjoy. Consequently I haven't seen a lot of the ones mentioned so far, like Jack and Jill and W.E. Also there is usually something of interest in most movies that saves them just a little bit.
    So here are my least favourite movies this year bearing in mind that they all probably had something about them that I did like but on the whole just didn't quite do it for me.
    5. A Fantastic Fear of Everything - one of those films where the trailer intrigues you but the film disappoints. Very muddled and empty is how I would describe this. Pegg's performance is good and he does his utmost best with a poor script.

    4. Red Lights - basically just a disappointing thriller, with a bit of a naff ending and a very peculiar scene midway reminiscent of the Black Lodge in Twin Peaks, that stood out like a sore thumb. Shame 'cos I love Weaver and Murphy.

    3. Cosmopolis - should never have been filmed really, it struck me as a piece more suitable for the stage. Utterly bereft of any tension, emotion or connection to the main character, which I'm aware is kind of a theme with Cronenberg. I don't blame him for this one though, I think the script is what made it so dull. It looks pretty and Pattinson surprises in the role. I counted seven walk outs when I saw it, seven!

    2. Once upon a Time in Anatolia - i agree with the person above who mentioned this one. I too stuck it out until the end and wished I'd left like the many other people who did at the screening I was in. Yeah it looks pretty. Yeah it has some kind of profound message in there somewhere. It started off ok but boy did it go on and on and on, with each passing minute I lost a bit more of the will to live.
    After watching this film I began to doubt my critical skills. This film had glowing reviews across the board, what was I missing? I still don't know and if I'm honest part of me thinks it's an Empereor's New Clothes situation. It's like a piece of modern art that's hanging in the Tate and no one wants to say it's just a big old mess on a canvas! Actually it rather reminded me of an art installation film.

    1. Dark Shadows - an utterly boring, directionless, muddled mess of a movie, choc full of lame jokes. I sat in the cinema willing it to end. Depp is ok

  • Comment number 80.

    MargeGunderson - my experience of "Cosmopolis" was similar and different to yours! I saw it in an auditorium that was originally empty, then my heart sank as six or seven young women traipsed, all giggling and carrying noisy looking popcorn and drinks. They chattered through the adverts and trailers, which is fair enough, then continued to chatter through the first half hour. I turned round to glare at them, and shook my fist at one point, which only shut them up temporarily. However, after half an hour they left, presumably because if Robert Pattinson isn't being moody and sullen, sparkling and jumping around like Super Mario (or John Carter), he isn't worth watching. Their departure left me with the auditorium entirely to myself, which hasn't happened in years.

    The contrast was that I thought "Cosmopolis" was pretty good. More conceptually interesting than cinematically arresting, but a fascinating treatise on postmodern culture. It might well work better as a play, but there is something very effective about discussions of cyber-capital on screen.

    Oh, and "John Carter" is quite good, and "Prometheus" is very good.

  • Comment number 81.

    I trend to go to the cinema to watch films I want, are assigned to see them or simply to please my dad. So these are the five worst films of the year so far:

    5. The Raven - I think the critics were a little harsh on the film, it doesn't deserve a 21% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, but it is not a good film either. It was too stylished, the story itself did not benifit from being about Edgar Allen Poe and the there was so much miscasting, particularly from John Cusack was trying out Cage Nic Cage. But it is really more of a noble failure and I think James McTeigue is capable of another good film if he finds the write script (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7l3okIqnCg)

    4. Trishna - I found Trishna to be a really bland film across the board, from directing, the acting and the visuals and it suffered from a paradox where it was too fast, skipping over many issues through montages and other times being well too slow and drawn out. It was simply boring.

    3. Battleship - I was morbiddly curious when I went to see this. I knew this film was going to be a dumb, but it was even more stupid then I could ever possibly imagine. The final 30 minutes really do need to be seen to be believed. For a $200 Million movie the special effects looked like they were from a computer game and if I didn't know better I swear Peter Berg was making a parody. I enjoyed one woman's comment in a vlog where she said she like the scene where Taylor Kitsch robbed the petrol station because he got hurt, TWICE.

    2. Project X - this is easily the most morally repugnant film of 2012, a film where it teaches that us that douchebag frat boy behaviour is not just acceptable, but encouraged and nothing matters more then high school popularity. It is a crude and vile film for the way it treats people, for a comedy it was not funny and seeing that it was using a found footage style it was way too unrealistic (e.g. two 10 year olds with tazers acting as door men). And there is a scene near the end that stupid for a number of reason. (http://playeraffinity.com/movies/movies-reviews/project-x-review.html, admittedly I was possibly too lenient when I wrote this review).

    1. Haywire - I hated this film and it is a great example of the gulf between critics and audiences some times. I was hoping for a fun B-Movie homage with lots of instance action but it was a really boring film, filled with poor acting (except for Michael Fassbender) and if it wasn't for Steven Soderbergh's name this would have been a straight-to-DVD film. The plot was paper thin, how it got compared to the Bourne Identity I do not know and it is the type of plot we have seen a million times before. 5 minutes of fights scenes does not make up for the slow, boring rubbish that happened for the rest of it and I believe that if Soderbergh had not directed this then critics would and should have been much more harsher. (http://playeraffinity.com/movies/movies-reviews/haywire-review.html).

    I know films like Jack and Jill would be awful so why would I waste my time watching it?

  • Comment number 82.

    @DrGaine hello :) In my case four of the people who left the Cosmopolis screening were teenage girls, two were women and one was a man.
    I agree conceptually it is interesting I just don't think that it worked as a whole. I was impressed by Pattinson's performance and Giamatti is always good yet still it didn't engage me enough. The play is the thing!

  • Comment number 83.

    1. wild billl, a mockney cockney gangsta film so bad i walked out after an hour and i haven't done that since erasurehead.
    2. shame, just appalling predictable,art school nonense, amercan pysco without the style or humour.
    3.a dangerous method, just plain boring.
    4. lovely molly, such a mish mash of four other films, such a rip off, i had to watch the four other films straight away.

  • Comment number 84.

    Of the 32 I've seen this year only two were real stinkers.
    Elfie Hopkins. If only they'd turned the poster into a film.
    The Cabin in the Woods. Horror fans aren't all gore hounds hungry for blood.

  • Comment number 85.

    #54. Sarah Jo -- Luckily we're at pedantry central (and not just about grammar and usage). Mark said he wasn't "listening" if we "say Prometheus".

    Of course we aren't saying anything, we're typing, and presumably he's reading not listening. So that's all right then...

    And can we stop hearing (or reading) that Prometheus is somehow deep and metaphysical just because the ship is named after a mythological character and some of the passengers question the non-existence of god? The sleeve notes of Nietsche for Dummies would be deeper and more metaphysical. Prometheus as "philosophical" makes the shallow solipsism plumbed by The Matrix look like Plato.

    They probably just ran out of Joseph Conrad novels that make convincing spaceship names.... (no one in their right mind would board The Heart of Darkness)...

  • Comment number 86.

    @Joel_Cooney #77

    I couldn't agree more. A bad film is a bad film and so what? It's amusing to point the finger and play the Schadenfreude Game, but really it doesn't make a great deal of difference.

    However, whereas "Alien" brought SF films forward, "Prometheus" has done harm to the genre. There's nothing wrong with making profound films like, say, "2001 - a space odyssey", but if you are going to use those ideas, at least get it right, as "Mission to Mars" did (maybe not a great film, but fun and the crew demonstrated that they were at least trained), rather than badly wrong, like "Prometheus".

  • Comment number 87.

    Kermode says: "and if you say Prometheus, I'm not listening"

    Sarah Jo writes: "That gave me a chuckle. What's also making me chuckle is how a lot of people are ignoring it."

    Yes, we are ignoring it, because Prometheus is dreadful and Kermode is being thoroughly obnoxious in his defense of it.

    As for you SJ, you quite liked Mirror Mirror as well as Prometheus. That makes me guffaw.

  • Comment number 88.

    For the people who said "Cosmopolis", you just didn't get it.... see my review
    http://cinehouseuk.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/short-back-and-sides-pleasecosmopolis.html


    Worst of the year was sadly Iron Sky, which was ok but a massive disappointment which was what "Prometheus" (which I think is better and more interesting than Alien) was to most people, I was looking forward to it for years everything just fell flat for me, I laughed maybe 3 times.

  • Comment number 89.

    Dr. Kermode: 'And if you say ______________, I'm not listening.' (Title removed so as not to conflict the good Doctor).

    That's OK. You are always worth listening to whether I agree with you or not and whether you listen to us or not. I have no fear of listening to those I disagree with... and I know you don't really have that fear either. I also have no fear of not being listened to, and it looks from what has been posted earlier in this thread that I am not alone in that ;o)

    I guess myself and several others above, decided not to listen to your warning about not listening. Now you can not listen to us not listening to your not listening, or you can listen to our not listening to your not listening claim. Yes, I'm confused too - I have been all my life.

    I know you were being humorous... and I also know you were probably serious behind the humour. And I know you knew there would be a whole bunch of us going on about the certain film, just because you suggested we should not bother. We have played hook, line and sinker, into your cunning trap ;o)

    Go on. Admit it. You wanted us to mention the unmentionable film in the talkback didn't you. Stirring up the natives, you naughty fellow :o)

  • Comment number 90.

    'The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel' ... is the worst film I've seen this year but not necessarily the worst film of the year because there are some I'd avoid by reputation because I have a finite available resource! 'The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel' is 'Terry & June' meets 'Keeping Up Appearances' with a nod to the worst parts of 'Slumdog Millionaire' (of which there were many) whilst failing to comprehend 'The Darjeeling Ltd' as made by ITV Drama. A more irritating, patronising, predictable, poorly characterised script is difficult to imagine. Maggie Smith's character takes the award for most implausible character transition of all time let alone in 2012!

  • Comment number 91.

    1. Ted - Why even see it?

    I actually have not seen a lot of movies this year because most of them just are not worth seeing. Why did Kermode pick John Carter over Piranha 3DD as the top worst movie?

  • Comment number 92.

    I'd rather watch all 5 of your worst than the polished turd of a movie, Prometheus.

  • Comment number 93.

    I'm really surprised at the slating that Cosmopolis is getting in these comments. Cosmopolis is definately up there in the top 5 movies this year alongside MMMM. I can only suspect that people didn't get theses two films as both are clearly exceptional in many ways.
    I genuinely don't have a bottom five this year as I've just stopped watching anything that could potentially be terrible and just stuck with movies I've researched and I'm confident are a good use of my hard earned cash.

  • Comment number 94.

    I think the good doctor's confusing the 'worst film so far' with 'the most disappointing film so far'.

  • Comment number 95.

    I'm going to offer another comment in defense of John Carter. It was pretty mediocre but *worst* film of the year? Not by a long chalk. That's Kermode's chip on the shoulder from his interview with Stanton.

    The makers of JCoM obviously had a lot of passion for the film but they expected the general audience to have the same enthusiasm that they did.
    Hence why they overloaded the film with too many plotlines from the source material and the marketing which assumed audiences already knew who Carter was instead of introducing him or explaining how it inspired so much 20th Century sci-fi.

    It's certainly the biggest flop of the year but that's not the same thing as worst film.

  • Comment number 96.

    The Iron Lady ,Streep apart the rest of the film is awful missing out vital chunks of detail and wasting some great actors .
    Mind you what did i expect from the Director of Mama Mia.

  • Comment number 97.

    @rbevanx 19:43 29th Jun 2012:

    I haven't seen too many bad films this year to get worked up about, but I have to respond to the rantings of the above poster regarding Prometheus. It is absolutely typical of someone who needs everything spelled out for them in order to figure things out...

    "The two scientists who decide to get out of that tomb somehow get lost even though they have a direct comms connection to Prometheus who have a 3D intime projection of the map and know exactly where everyone are."

    There was a massive storm generating a lot of electrical interference. You get to see a bit where the comms is breaking up. Maybe that - or maybe one of a thousand possible reasons that seem to have escaped your limited imagination - could account for why someone got lost.

    "Not only that but they decide to go back to that tomb and I think one of them was smoking pot and playing with an early version of a face hugger."

    Yep. Someone was smoking: The guy with Aspergers. The one who can't deal with people. The one who says himself that he loves rocks. Just rocks. I know people like that. Maybe the tomb was warm. Who knows. Maybe the big face made it look familiar. Who knows. I'm not getting excited just because I don't know.

    The biologist - in case you missed some of the story - was almost certainly put aboard Prometheus to assist in Weyland's quest for eternal life. That was the ultimate purpose of the mission. They were expecting to meet a race of benign God-like beings. The biologist was freaked out by the environment and ensuing events (so would you be, probably), something they were certainly not expecting. But perhaps he felt he had little to fear from something that looked superficially like a serpent. There are people who love snakes and like to get up close. One even had his own series on BBC TV.

    "This is suppose to be one of the worlds best geolligist on a trillion dollar mission who has been to Harvard etc possibly and the two of them are acting like...I don't know, I would say idiot's but that would be insulting idiot's."

    You're making stuff up and seem to have forgotten that the entire premise for the film was about prolonging Weyland's life. They didn't advertise for eminent research staff. Most were recruited by a Suit. They got hold of people who knew their stuff but needed money and wouldn't ask too many questions. It wasn't a UN mission out to chart a new world. It was ALL about Weyland.

    "Now not only that but you have the Captain playing around not caring about their welfare on a climate/area they know nothing about and somehow with some of the worse dialogue I have ever heard, manages to get with Charlize Theron"

    The Captain was very concerned with the welfare of the crew and his fellow man. This was made plain on countless occasions.

    "And all that is only about 15 mins of the film. Now don't get me wrong I enjoyed it but it never goes anywhere, it has terrible dialogue and characters and flushes away logic. I totally respect why people hate it as it is a ridiculous film."

    I totally do not respect people who hate it on the grounds of it being ridiculous. It's sci-fi a fantasy. Do you squeal in disgust when Captain Kirk lands on a planet without a suit? Nah, didn't think so.

  • Comment number 98.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 99.

    (contains spoilers)

    Mike Bell re: 97

    "I totally do not respect people who hate it on the grounds of it being ridiculous. It's sci-fi a fantasy. Do you squeal in disgust when Captain Kirk lands on a planet without a suit? Nah, didn't think so."

    That old chesnut eh? This particular straw man argument is dragged out every time someone attempts to criticize any SF/fantasy/horror story on the grounds of implausibility. The real problem isn't whether something is unrealistic or not; its how *consistent* said unreality is.

    Almost all of the above genres (lets keep to SF for now) involve maintaining a degree of suspension of disbelief; we are making an implicit deal with the filmmakers "Give me a good story and I'll willully ignore the mistakes". If we watch "Star Trek", we know that concepts such as warp speed and teleportation aren't possible in reality, but this doesn't affect one's enjoyment of the series; as long as the application of the above concepts is self-consistent throughout. If a film constantly breaks its own self-consistency rules (e.g. the notorious Time-turners in the Potter film series) it reminds the viewer of the implausibility of the story universe, thus ruining it. It becomes the cinematic equivalent of playing "Lets Pretend" with 5 year olds.

    If I take your Star Trek example, when captain Kirk lands on the planet without a suit, this is acceptable because the conventions of Star Trek allow it and we buy into that fiction. If he then starts walking off a cliff through thin air Wile E. Coyote-style, staring straight at the viewer and suddenly produces a wooden sign saying "Gulp!", before plunging down into a unfeasibly deep canyon... well do I have to spell it out?

    Bringing it back on topic, in my view there are many moments throughout "Prometheus" where the self-consistency rule is broken, or where character's incomprehensible actions can't readily be explained as mere momentary irrationality or being overcome by emotion. We can see the writer palpably bending over backwards to fit the narrative around a particular plot point, or to engineer some specific series of events. For example, Holloway's "meltdown" is only in there in order to provide grounds and an opportunity for David to poison him - there's no other reason to have the character, a professional archaeologist no less, react in the way he does. The medical machine not being programmed for females doesn't annoy me - no-one mentioning the surgical procedure afterwards does though.Those moments immediately take me as a viewer out of the universe of the film and jarringly back to reality with a big thud.

    For the avoidance of doubt in future when considering applying this line of reasoning in future: being a Fantasy film provides no more excuse for inept, lazy script-writing than there would be in your typical gritty Mike Leigh drama.

  • Comment number 100.

    Further to my previous comment (49.), I've just watched Iron Sky. It pains me but I'm forced to bump the execrable Battleships from my list.

 

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