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My Worst Five Films of 2010

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Mark Kermode | 11:53 UK time, Thursday, 30 December 2010

Last week you saw my top and now it's time to show you my bottom five films of the year.

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Comments

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  • Comment number 1.

    Scott Pilgrim is something I didn't enjoy.

  • Comment number 2.

    lol

  • Comment number 3.

    Loved last week's top five.

    The good Doctor's worst five list even better.

    Anything that gets the hands (and even the quiff) going is worth it.

    Kudos on naming and shaming SitC2 as the worst movie of the year.

    Luckily Fred the Movie hasn't hit screens in Oz as yet. Seeing 30 seconds of it on Youtube was bad enough. Definitely one to miss.

    Great to see Eat, Pray, Love, Vomit included as well. I'm afraid I was dragged to see it against mine and the good Doctor's judgement and have to admit it was atrocious. My worst movie going experience of the year.

  • Comment number 4.

    At 3:29 I feared that the tree, books on the shelves and ornaments on the mantlepiece were all going to go flying. I nearly lost an eardrum too. Good call on SATC 2 Dr K.

  • Comment number 5.

    I agree with what you said the worst thing about SATC 2 was; the fact that loads of people went to see it. Sadly, I think this is down to the idea that some movies are made for men (this year's example: Predators), and some are for women (SATC 2), and the fact that they were made for a specific audience somehow makes them more important.

    Whenever I criticised someone for going to see SATC 2, the typical responses came up. I was being snobbish or I was being sexist. My protests that the film itself is one of the most misogynistic things ever made fell on deaf ears. Not only did the makers of SATC make a ghastly franchise, they also helped further segregate our species, and for that they can never be forgiven.

  • Comment number 6.

    I haven't seen any of the films on Dr K's list, nor do I plan to. There have been a few films I've seen that have failed to live up to my expectations but I can't think of 5 that deserve the dishonour of making up a 'bottom 5' list. Except for one:

    'Iron Man 2'

    First of all, I'm sure there have been worse films released this year than 'Iron Man 2'. But somehow, Iron Man 2 represents EVERYTHING I HATE ABOUT MODERN CINEMA. It's an example of a film where it seems money has just been thrown at every aspect of it, in an attempt to mask the fact that it has absolutely nothing to say.

    I'd seen the original 'Iron Man' and I thought it was pretty boring and unsubstantial. I was in no rush to see the sequel but one thing piqued my interest in it- It has one of the best casts assembled for a film this year. Mickey Rourke, Sam Rockwell, Don Cheadle, Garry Shandling, Samuel L Jackson all came on board for the sequel. "Great!" I thought "These are some of my favourite actors, there must have been something special about the script for such an impressive selection of performers to sign up". Well, no. I was wrong. Iron Man 2 is like a masterclass in paycheck performances. As for Robert Downey jr, his smug playboy schtick had me hating him within the first 10 minutes and by the time his character falls from grace, I'd given up caring.

    Meanwhile, the presence of Samuel L Jackson and Scarlett Johansson's characters seemed to serve as an in-film trailer for forthcoming Marvel studio attractions- a franchise I now have no interest in at all.

    Add to this a wafer thin plot that's strung together with enough CGI bangs and whooshes to keep the idiot masses craving for Iron Man lunchboxes, video games and sequels. and you've got a film that like Tony Stark himself, is bright and shiny on the outside but rapidly dying on the inside.

  • Comment number 7.

    I'll say it slowly.

    PUT
    THE
    "FRED"
    REVIEW
    ONLINE....

    PLEASE

  • Comment number 8.

    The five worst films I saw in 2010:

    1. The Last Airbender (Shyamalan does it again)
    2. Catfish (so obviously fake, can't believe how people are falling for this laboured effort)
    3. A Nightmare on Elm Street (you're right Mark; no scares, no atmosphere, no brains)
    4. Grown Ups (just an excuse for Adam Sandler and co to get a paid holiday. Awful)
    5. Cop Out (proof that Kevin Smith cannot direct)

  • Comment number 9.

    I'd like to second the request for the 5 Live Fred review please. I'd like to see Simon leave the studio, having missed it when it was live streamed.

  • Comment number 10.

    As the live-stream is unavailable outside the UK, I'd third that request for the 'Fred' review online, please.

  • Comment number 11.

    Dr. K.

    I think that I can already predict your number one worst movie for 2011. TRANSFORMERS 3. Considering your outspoken cry against the use of 3D and your feelings towards Michael Bay you must be absolutely dreading the day when you have to walk into a screening room sometime next summer, put on some 3D glasses and watch the latest Michael Bay transformers robot mash up of Transformers: The Dark of the Moon. The first Michael Bay film in 3D. People's heads will surely explode after seeing the insane excesses of that film.

    Your review of Transformers: The Dark of the Moon in 3D is possibly the one review I am most looking forward to next year.

    Start preparing yourself now Dr. K. Prepare for the 3D onslaught of Michael Bay

  • Comment number 12.

    What? No A Serbian Film? That really is shocking. I haven't seen Fred or SATC2 but I did recently watch A Serbian Film. It was the one which the BBFC heavily cut by 4 minutes. Some people have criticised the BBFC for being draconian here, I think they made a mistake by not banning it not because it's evil and immoral but because it's just a stinker of a film.

  • Comment number 13.

    Good grief, I'm glad to have avoided Fred the Movie although I've gathered my own brand of stinkers this year (top 10 allowed as opposed to top five?). More details here! www.seano22.blogspot.com

    1) The Lovely Bones
    2) Alice in Wonderland
    3) The Last Airbender (what did the Good Doctor end up thinking of this in the end?)
    4) Clash of the Titans
    5) Skyline
    6) Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
    7) The Other Guys
    8) Unstoppable
    9) The Book of Eli
    10) Hot Tub Time Machine

  • Comment number 14.

    When he did the 'Fred' impression my doberman burst into the room barking to protect me from whatever horror he thought was in here with me....

  • Comment number 15.

    Cant think of five films ive objected to this year, but two that have got my goat in the past couple of months are:
    1) The Arbor: as a 50 minute docu-drama on tv it might have worked, but at an hour and a half on the big screen it's exposed as a dull, repetitive, visually uninteresting sheet of kleenex stretched to breaking point. It more resembles an elongated 'Creature Comforts' anti-drugs advert by the Home Office than a 'groundbreaking' cinematic experiment. Emperor's.New.Clothes. I dont know what all the fuss is about.

    2) Somewhere: pretentious, self-indulgent tedium of the highest order from the one-track, one-trick mind of Princess Coppola. Get some new ideas Sofia...or clear off!

  • Comment number 16.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 17.

    lol thx for making my speakers crash and burn! bill on the way

  • Comment number 18.

    Where's Mayo to turn off the mic when you need him?... ;)

    Dr K, when you say anything with the SNL logo on it is terrible I do hope you're not including the Blue Brothers in that.

  • Comment number 19.

    1. Sex & The City 2 - Surely an omen of the apocalypse.

    2. The Last Airbender - Awful in every sense imaginable. Easily the worst use of 3-D yet. And that is saying something.

    3. A Nightmare On Elm Street - I despise remakes made clearly to rake some cash in. I mean, if someone is gonna milk a franchise, make it into a musical! I can see it now - "NIGHTMARE!" It'd be a smash!

    3. Grown Ups - Hated it.

    4. Clash of the Titans - ...

    5. Parasnormal In-Activity 2 - I'm losing the will to live just typing these movies up...

    I really feel the need to express how much I did not enjoy Kick-Ass, since it is so highly regarded by Dr. Kermode. Firstly, I'm seventeen and in terms of movie violence I've pretty much seen it all so far. Like The Last House on The Left, Anti-Christ, Funny Games, Kill Bill and many other exploitation, action and horror movies. Kick-Ass has a ten year old girl run around chopping people up and using the C-word. While I usually don't mind this sort of thing, it annoys me how the film handles these scenes in the most cavalier kind of way. When I see those scenes, I don't see anything satirical or comic about them. It's a cheap shot. Purely exploitative. You roughly said yourself Dr. Kermode, is it okay to be that exploitative and trashy and then excuse yourself by saying "Oh, its 'comic violence'!". For me, Kick-Ass had no heart, no soul and completely lacked the charm to pull off scenes of such a nature. And in THAT respect, it's no less exploitative or polemic than, dare I say, 'torture porn'.
    I love Nicolas Cage's Shatner impression though.

  • Comment number 20.

    I bet that Fred review could wake many more people out of comas. As a last resort.

  • Comment number 21.

    "I've already let the right one in. Why would I let you in?"

    T-shirt. Now.

  • Comment number 22.

    Very funny video Dr. K.

    I do feel sorry for you in a way as, although you get to travel over the world to watch films for a living, you also have to sit through a non-stop torrent of utter bilge films that never even had a chance of being good.

    Luckily I haven't seen any of the films in your 'Worst 5' but it does seem that the number of poor quality films being released is increasing and I did see some absolute stinkers this year.

    And @killhimoff;
    It's not a Shatner impression it's an Adam West impression.

  • Comment number 23.

    @Benjamin86;

    Ah, of course. My mistake. Cheers!

  • Comment number 24.

    @killhimoff

    No problem. And I do agree with you that Cage's performance is the best part of the film. With Kick Ass and Bad Lieutenant it could have been a great year for him. Shame about The Sorcerer's Apprentice then. Haha.

  • Comment number 25.

    @Benjamin86

    I adored Bad Lieutenant. I think we have to thank Herzog for getting that performance out of Cage. Although, to be fair, Cage seems to be one of these actors whose reputation is never tarnished by bad movies. Who else could have survived Bangkok Dangerous? Ha! Samuel L. Jackson?

  • Comment number 26.

    I'll have to go with these as I've actually seen them but I know there are a Host of 2010 Howlers out there.... I substituted The A Team for Wolfman at the last minute as at least some of The A Team was supposed to be funny..........Wolfman was hilarious but wasn't supposed to be.....and getting two 3D films in there has made my day!
    Clash of the Titans
    Robin Hood
    The Wolfman
    Saw 3D
    Pirhana 3D

  • Comment number 27.

    Loving the impressions as always although I had to turn my speakers down almost to zero when the Fred impression started for fear that the screaming may wake the neighbour's baby. Is there a more irritating sound on this earth? I doubt it.

  • Comment number 28.

    I hope you told your various family members to vacate the premesis before "the impression".

  • Comment number 29.

    I'm proud to say that I avoided every film on Dr. K's list. With the exception of NOES, these all looked like stinkers just from the trailers. Since I felt a remake of NOES was unnecessary, I didn't see it, either. I don't need more back story for the villain. Less usually works just fine.

    My Worst 10:

    5 The Wolfman
    4 Kick @$$
    3 Splice
    2 Alice in Wonderland
    1 Clash Of The Titans

  • Comment number 30.

    I had to turn the sound down during your 'Fred' impression. To avoid a call for disturbance of the peace.

  • Comment number 31.

    @TheConciseStatement YES!

  • Comment number 32.

    Managed to avoid most turkeys except 'Grown Ups' and 'Cop Out'-both utter bilge, loved the Fred review, I recall Mayo wasn't too impressed with the impression at the time!

  • Comment number 33.

    I was expecting you to give dishonourable mentions to A Serbian Film, Burlesque, Somewhere and Vampires Suck along all those you mentioned too. Anyways, no suprises in your list, but it's hard to imagine it any other way. Spot on.

  • Comment number 34.

    something weird has happened quite often this year - whomever does those little preview text on the entertainment section doesn't update to show us a new episode has been uploaded. even worse, sometimes the text is there but the video isn't.... had to watch last weeks best of today, cos I was still expecting video about the golden globe nominations.

  • Comment number 35.

    Of course Mark's list is entirely valid because he really has seen nearly all the films released these year, I have seen only a few. Even so, here goes.

    Best

    5. The Way Back
    4. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
    3. Eclipse
    2. How to Train Your Dragon
    1. The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest

    Worst

    5. Centurion
    4. Kick Ass
    3. Alice in Wonderland
    2. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
    1. Wild Target

  • Comment number 36.

    I thought FRED the Movie would be even worse than Sex and the City 2 but I guess not. DrK where was Vampires Suck in the count down?

  • Comment number 37.

    Okay, so for future notice, Fred the Movie is like a viral Tourette's. Got it.

    I really thought that Greenberg was going to be the worst thing that I would see this year - and I really, truly, loathed every second of it - but unfortunately I was proven wrong after being dragged to a screening of Eat, Pray, Love. Not only was it one of the most sickeningly selfish, irritatingly narcissistic displays of Rich White People Syndrome that I've ever witnessed, not only did it turn feminism into an hedonist joke, not only is it thinly-veiled imperialism and not only does it promote the idea that all of life's problems can be solved by rolling around on the beach with the first foreigner that propositions you (never mind the sand probably going in places it shouldn't)... not only all of that, people LOVE this movie. All of the other women I know are obsessed with it. The fact that it's successful and the fact that people are actually swallowing its line of bull as some legitimate kind of Easy Mac spirituality that will make you a better person through the consumption of it, those facts more than anything else are what make me want to hunt down all of the people involved in the creation of this film and slash their tires.

    ... That wasn't intended to be such a long paragraph.

    Nightmare on Elm Street was a pos too. I still think Let Me In is a perfectly okay movie, but I understand the personal grievance.

  • Comment number 38.

    That Fred impression is something else! Wow. :)

  • Comment number 39.

    For my money, the worst film of the year was Robin Hood, but that's mainly because I didn't see Fred: The Movie. THAT review makes up for a lack of a Guy Ritchie skit this year.

    Anywho, I wanted to ask a rather pertinent question. The Kermode Awards are meant to show that the best films are never nominated for Oscars, and so far have worked. However, Inception, the Good Doctor's top film of the year, is almost undoubtedly getting a nomination for Best Film. Will Dr K finally have to concede defeat and say the Academy are right for once, or will another film have to make do as the best of 2010?

  • Comment number 40.

    Well unlike you I dont have to see everything so here is my average bottom 5

    05. The Expendables - 5/10
    04. Predators - 5/10
    03. The Karate Kid - 4.5/10
    02. The Other Guys - 4/10
    01. Date Night - 4/10

  • Comment number 41.

    Out of 150 films...

    1. Vampires Suck
    2. Gulliver's Travels
    3. Old Dogs
    4. Jonah Hex
    5. Valentine's Day

  • Comment number 42.

    For the first time in 35 years, i walked out of a film, Dinner for Schmucks

  • Comment number 43.

    Was that shot with a shift and tilt or has someone just smeared and optical flat with vaseline? Either way good turkey list.

  • Comment number 44.

    Watched this as I had never heard of that Kermode guy before but I'll be certain not to watch one of his videos ever again. Probably one of most irritating critic I have ever seen...

  • Comment number 45.

    I suppose that one of the good things about not being a film critic Doctor is that I don't have to go and see films that I don't want to see. Therefore, Sex in the City 2 et al can join my "list of films I'll never see". Nevertheless, there were several occasions this year when I saw films that were either disappointing or were "unsatisfying" in some way. They were:

    Ironman 2 - I rather liked the first one - I didn't like the second one! All the things that worked in the first one (yes, even Paltrow's character) did not in the second. Indeed, it was all rather cynical with too many pointless cameos flagging up future franchises; a meandering story; an increasingly charmless lead character and TOO MUCH money lavished on what was an incredibly slight story even by the standards of the genre. A note to the producers of Kick Ass - do something else for your next film!

    Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans - there's a whiff of the "Emperor's New Clothes" about this film. Along with his turn in Kick Ass, Cage reminded us of his undoubted talents BUT this was all rather indulgent and overblown (e.g. use of "Gekko-vision"). I still can't believe the glowing reviews of this film. Either I didn't get it or you lot didn't Doctor.

    The Book of Eli - There's a great bit in Wayne's World 2 when they need a gas station attendant with a bit more gravitas so they push Charlton Heston on. It's funny, unexpected and it usefully sends up the persona of Heston. Can I sugest to Washington's agent that he get his client some cameos like this. Once again he plays the portentous, morally-certain and very violent (go figure?) central character in a film that says nothing except that eating people gives you the shakes! Oh, and that at our darkest moments humanity needs a man with a big sharp knife and a bible! However, it had had one saving grace in that how many Hollywood action movies give you Frances de la Tour blasting away with an M16? I know, I should have watched The Road instead!

    2010 - I know it was released in Nov 2009 but I saw it in 2010! How not to do a disaster movie. One assumes Cusack (star of one of my favourite films of all time in Grosse Point Blank) did this for the cash. I hope he bought something nice. There was a moment in this when you realise that Cusack has, amidst a global cataclysm, managed to get from the USA to the Himalayas! I think it almost rivals Moulder's ability, in the first X Files film, to get to the Antarctic/South Pole just as if you or I were going from Wolverhampton to London! Can we have a new thread Doctor on improbable journeys in the movies?

    Happy New Year fellow contributors.

  • Comment number 46.

    I didn't see most of Dr K's list: my natural filtering processes automatically weeded out films like Grown Ups and Sex And The City 2, and I wasn't one of the sixteen people who saw Pimp (although Danny Dyer is in my own worst film of 2010):

    http://streetrw.blogspot.com/2010/12/list-worst-films-of-2010.html

    Really hoping for 2011 to be better.

  • Comment number 47.

    #40 - You're spot-on with that 5/10 for Predators; a film which is difficult to gauge.

    It's so similar to the excellent Predator that one can't pan it, or through lack of originality, praise it.

    "What da hell are yu?", Predators?

  • Comment number 48.

    is there a conspiracy not to upload the fred review?
    fortunatly managed to swerve the dr 5 hoarable mention to alice in wonderland.

  • Comment number 49.

    I loved Dr K's remark about having already Let The Right One In, but it perhaps presages the remake's possible sequels, Let Me In Too, and Look Who's Letting Me In Now.

    While I ordinarily would simply thank Dr K for taking the bullets for the rest of us, even the dullest of cinematic spidey senses would have warned us off these. I did consider seeing the Nightmare on Elm Street remake, knowing it would be a car wreck, but with that compulsion that makes you glance at the accident on the other carriageway as you drive by. Luckily I was unable to fit in a viewing before feedback from Dr K and others quashed that masochistic urge (the "original" is my favorite horror film).

    I also find it much easier to make a bottom five list than a top five. If I really enjoy and love a group of movies, I find ranking them pointless. A worst list is easier because gauging a level of hatred is more straightforward.

    The Road - I know it was extremely well made, acted, directed, etc. (not to mention stupefyingly worthy). But I just couldn't get past how utterly stupid its unspecified disaster and its aftermath seemed to be. What could possibly destroy almost all nature whilst leaving man alive? Did it also destroy all the outlet stores which would have provided an unending supply of fresh clothes for the surviving population rather than forcing them to wear homeless chic? Did it involve monsters (there's a mysteriously dead forest with trees knocked over and a boat that has somehow been put on dry land)? How boring does a film have to be for me to spend my time thinking of such questions? Mad Max Beyond Thunderingly Dull.

    The Other Guys - I've actually enjoyed some of Will Ferrell's movies but I completely understand if you don't, and I'm not ever going to argue the pretty weak points. The films where his schtick works for me are the one's where he plays an over the top, arrogant caricature, usually abetted by the great John C. Reilly. Here he plays a low status schlubb (it's more of Steve Carell character), and it just doesn't work, and nothing else does either. Dr. K was very generous about Mark Wahlberg's comic potential, and I agree it's there, but it's as much on display here as it was in I (heart) Huckabees (which is saying so little, an electron microscope might be handy).

    44 Inch Chest - Great cast squandered in lifeless predictable exercise of east end gangster talky artiness, Revolver for the middle aged. Stagey is the key word as the performances might have been electrifying if performed live on a stage in a way that might have lifted the material, but instead dull dull dull dull dull, had me pining for Harold Pinter's turn in the film version of Mojo, and that's not a good thing.

    Alice in Wonderland - Great casting and art direction, no script or direction, and a fundamental ignorance of the source material (hint: the title is a lie, and the poem about the gruesome creature is the Jabberwocky, not the Jabberwock creature itself). Helena Bonham Carter furthers her resume/CV in hair acting (I see that she wears a hat in The King's Speech, so I'm hopeful).

    Robin Hood - I was going to give this a miss (the Trailer had me imagining Gerald Butler intoning This Is Sherwood!), but something Billy Bragg said in his interview with Dr K and Simon made me briefly think it might be interesting. Bragg had had a conversation about Forest Rights with Crowe, implying some of that had possibly been integrated into the film. As a New Forest resident where these ancient rights are still practiced (and enshrined in modern law from the 1870's), I was intrigued enough to ignore my misgivings. I'm not blaming anyone for my bad decision to follow this tenuous thread, I'm making this comment long enough without delineating what a mess the movie is. It is enough to hate this film for making the Kevin Costner version look good.

    Due to the economy, I was unable to see more bad films, so I'd like to list a few most disappointing movies:

    Made in Dagenham - Formulaic cliche ridden script given the best airing possible by fine cast. To describe it as this year's Full Monty or Brassed Off, skips over the fact that it is a paint-by-numbers conflation of the two. There's the third act lurch into melodrama provided by the up to then unnecessary subplot, and the 11th hour argument between the lead couple which serves for one of those transportation related chasing reconciliation moments that have me convinced that the British can only express love through mileage. Well intentioned, good message, fitfully enjoyable, but very creaky (I pitied Rosamund Pike who manages to make her rubbish patronizing slightly posh middle class women need liberating too speech touching). I've no problem with the language, but Wooley's argument about accuracy kind of falls apart when they've invented an ensemble of sassy composite characters. Sadly, like much of this sort of output of British film industry, I enjoyed it the way you supportively enjoy your child's turn in the school play, in the knowledge that it's all a nice effort but doesn't stand adult scrutiny. Oh, bless.

    Green Zone - Formulaic conspiracy thriller, might have worked if its topicality sell by hadn't expired in 2004. Rory Bremner covered all the same material before and within a year after the invasion 2003. Very well executed, just obvious and tedious, Jason Isaac's 'tache notwithstanding (perhaps he could have a tonsorial acting competition with Helena B-C).

    Inception - if only I had steered clear of the hype, I might have been less bored. Pretty much an excuse for an elaborate overlong multilayered action set piece -- convoluted is not the same as clever. Its notions of dream world are restricted to the fantasies of city planners and Bond villians, not a hint of Dreamscape or Imaginarium in sight. I might have been able to suspend my disbelief in its easily pick apartable premises had the wafer thin characters moved me to care in any way. And even giving its due for its ambition and how well executed it is, I hated the sophomoric cheesy pseudo philosophical are they really? final shot, which could only appeal to those who thought the Matrix was deep. In fact, while I don't mind others declaring it the best movie of the year, I'd nominate that last few seconds of Inception as the Worst Movie of the Year.

  • Comment number 50.

    anyone see the similarity between Kermode's Fred impression and Kermit the frog?

  • Comment number 51.

    As a female I'd like to say, if SATC2 is in any way representative of my gender, then I have no hope for the human race. So to that "Matt Hone" guy, you're not being sexist, you simply have a few brain cells unlike most people who watch that bilge.

    Anyway, that Fred impression needs a health and safety warning!

  • Comment number 52.

    Bottom five
    The Wolfman
    A Nightmare On Elm Street
    Predators
    The Expendables
    London Boulevard

  • Comment number 53.

    What, no 'Avatar'? Beautifully made, but hollow as a rotten tree trunk and with a screenplay that achieves the impossible feat of making Sigourney Weaver sound like an idiot. That takes some work I suppose.

  • Comment number 54.

    Completely agree, although got strange looks from my cat when Mark did the Fred impression.

  • Comment number 55.

    Elm Street was the only one I watched fro the list and it's pretty stinky.

    I think the second worst film I caught this year was Prince of Persia, this was truely awful, with a truely awful Arterton. I know it's not this years film but I saw it this year. Antichrist- No. 1 worst film I saw this year (again it's when I watched it).

    This is the thing though with films I have no drive to see, I'll just wait till they get on satelite where I have the option to change channel.

    I should never have rented that pos Prince of Persia though. Waste of 3.99.

    I'll let you know in the latter half of 2011 what the worst tat of 2010 was.

  • Comment number 56.

    Just watched Mark nearly making his quiff fall apart (vanity stopped it thou, oh get that subtle stroke across his locks), and someone in the next room shouted..'who is that annoying old bloke shouting?'..nuff said bro.

  • Comment number 57.

    These are 5 films I did not see.
    I would like to commemorate those hours you spent in the cinema, being exposed to them, I would never bother wasting my time with them, but you are a film critic who's ethos is it's all or nothing, so, thanks for taking the hit.
    I can tell you than I did not see Of Gods and Men which is on your best of list, which I will hunt down and watch on your recomendation.

  • Comment number 58.

    For financial reasons I've tried to avoid wasting money on rubbish, much of it thanks to your reviews, however, my most dissapointing as in let-down films are as follows:

    1. Tamara Drewe. Started off well, then the director abandons his lead character to focus on the duller, peripheral ones before realising too late and shoe-horning in a resolution for the TITLE CHARACTER, by which time I did not care. Also annoyed by the opening titles which had a 'comic-strip' look promising similar in the film and delivering something different entirely. Hollywood does this all the time, see 'The Losers' 'Red' etc etc. Stop it! 'Sin City' promised a comic-book look in the titles and delivered, and in my opinion remains the only film to do so to date.

    2. The A-Team. Annoying use of the 'here's the plan' flashback device that breaks up the action right up till the end. Annoying and the script was a mess. When they announced the re-make I immediately thought of how great 'The Dukes of Hazzard' remake turned out.

    3. Alice In Wonderland. Choppy and slow. Why has Alice come back to Wonderland? It's never really made clear whilst Johnny Depp's head spins around. If I was a child I'd be really bored. Seemed like a bigger-budget version of Gilliam's 'Jabberwocky.' Hardly a classic to start with.

    4. The Losers. Children being killed in plane crashes and cock-fights are okay but the gore and language of the graphic novel toned down for a 12A audience? Strange. Didn't really work. And the gorgeous Zoe Saldana's first big non-blue cgi role wastes her entirely. Unforgiveable.

    5. Twilight: Eclipse. I really hate to say this Dr. K but I did not agree with your glowing review if this film. I actually enjoyed the first two 'Twilight' films a lot but this just seemed long, slow and too dramatically flat to justify its running time. Not terrible at all, but I was dissapointed after enjoying 'Twilight' and 'New Moon' so much and having such high hopes for this one. I will see it again to give it another chance, but it left me slightly underwhlemed.

    So 2010 has been a year of dissapointments but nothing that has ever made me as angry as previous years, such as 'Batman And Robin' (shudders at memory), 'Bewitched', and 'Speed Racer'. Perhaps in that sense 2010 has been a good year. Who knows what 2011 will bring?

  • Comment number 59.

    I can't believe "Pimp" (or is it "Pimp!"?) was worse than another Danny Dyer effort: "Basement".

    Which contained the immortal exchange:

    Pru: What do you think... me and Derek?
    Sarah: Yeah, I think you make a nice couple.
    Pru: "Nice"? What's "nice"?
    Sarah: It was meant to be a compliment.
    Pru: We both just sort of gravitated towards one another.
    [pause]
    Pru: Do you remember me telling you about my twin sister who died in childbirth?

  • Comment number 60.

    The ironic thing about watching dire films is that if I go and see one that I know is going to be bad then it's sometimes quite enjoyable. This is probably because I have set my expectations at a suitably low level.

  • Comment number 61.

    ninthconfigurator

    If you're saying that Kevin Smith cannot direct based on a film he didn't even write, then you're a fool. He's more than proven that he can. You'll eat your words when RED STATE comes out this year.

  • Comment number 62.

    Chris Page, you sound just like Kevin Smith judging by the comment you made there. You know, the calling other people fools, the smugness and self-superiority. No wonder you are a fan of his!

  • Comment number 63.

    I've mentioned this already, and I hate to keep banging the same drum; but with regardss to Let Me In, how can you justify slamming a film solely for the reason that it's a remake of a great film? And my second drum bang - Sorcerer!
    Good call on Pimp though, Doc. The poster for it put me off immediately. I'll never touch it.

  • Comment number 64.

    Skyline was worse.

  • Comment number 65.

    Kermode we all know SATC2 would have been, and was rubbish, same with the Elmstreet remake, and anything with Jennifer Aniston in will be awful etc etc. Surely we need to address films such as Greenberg, a film with fine performances, well crafted yet a really horrible experience due to the unlikeable characters. Or maybe something such as The Other Guys, a missed opportunity perhaps, a film that gave me whiplash from the constant change of comic direction. Maybe I'm naming the biggest let downs of the year, but that's more interesting than just suggesting films that were always going to be turgid.

  • Comment number 66.

  • Comment number 67.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e03SVZ_tz3o

    ...The Fred review for your "enjoyment". :(

  • Comment number 68.

    Perhaps Dr K is reluctant to upload the 'Fred' review because he's embarrassed. Not by his shreiking impression but because of the fact that he was heard to say:

    "How many five seconds in a minute? Lots."

    Heh.

  • Comment number 69.

    "screaming like this screaming like this screaming like this"

  • Comment number 70.

    The 5 worst films of 2010? The list, as usual, was just too damn long to come up with 5 examples so i gave up.

  • Comment number 71.

    I whole heartedly agree with your review of Nightmare on Elm Street (not that it deserves to be called that) Mr Kermode. I would love to see Wes Craven run up and kick Sam Bayer in the nuts. I would also add:

    The Last Air bender

    Because I spent the whole film with my hand to my head screaming "why isn't it ending, oh God why wont it end" at the screen.

    Let’s also add a most over rated category which would contain:

    Kick Ass
    And
    Inception

    Both are films that when you scratch lightly beneath the shiny, veneered surface are completely vacuous (At least Inception managed to keep the audiences eerily quiet)

    And judging by peoples comments we also need a most misunderstood category for

    Wolf man: This was tongue in cheek in the vein of American Werewolf, if you insist on taking it seriously when you watch it then, well what more is there to say....

    Piranha 3D: I would just like to point out to everyone that this is a film that is intentionally crap, the filmmakers have gone out of there way to make the whole film as crap as possible, its not an accident. (Unlike with Saw 3D) You are supposed to find it funny. Or maybe you didn't watch enough bad 70's/80's horror movies when you were kids
    (-;
    It also has the not so lofty distinction of being the only film featuring Eli Roth in which I didn't want to kill him, but this is probably because the filmmakers did this for me. A definite plus!

  • Comment number 72.

    @ninthconfigurator
    @Matt Hone

    You are fully entitled to this opinion on the condition that you have both watched Mall Rats in its entirety before coming to this conclution

  • Comment number 73.

    Pimp Dyer's worst? shurely shum mishtake?

  • Comment number 74.

    My 10 worst films of the year:

    10 44 Inch Chest - Sweary for the sake of it. The definition of all mouth and no trousers.

    9 Megamind - Poor animation with zero laughs and a struggle for kids and adults.

    8 Did Your Hear About The Morgans? - Affords the opportunity to laugh at the similarity between Sarah Jessica Parker and the horse she is riding but other than that Hugh Grant and Parker have no discernable chemistry.

    7 Tamara Drewe - Who is this film for and what does it want to be? Clearly the only thought in the producers' heads was how much mileage they could get out of Gemma Arterton in hot pants.

    6 Legion - Great trailer ... terrible film with laughable plot twists and rip-offs of other better films.

    5 The Wolfman - Shows the scars of the cutting room and too many cooks along the way. Anthony Hopkins serves up the most ham amongst the poor effects.

    4 The Bounty Hunter - No chemistry between the leads. Jennifer Aniston fails to convince as a hot shot journalist whereas Gerard Butler fails to convince as a human being.

    3 All About Steve - Risible film but not one which brings the laughs. Sandra Bullock is on mad form in possibly the only film with a cruciverbalist as the protagonist. (Mark - how did you forget this one!)

    2 The Last Airbender - I almost feel sorry for M Night Shymalan but this is an ill conceived disaster and sadly Dev Patel is terrible. Any film which repeatedly extolls the virtue of being a bender is always going to get sniggers from the average British teen. Any film with a script like that was always going to be D.O.A.

    1 Killers - Ashton Kutcher takes his top off for the first 20 minutes and even that can't pick up this film!! Katherine Heigl's presence is like screen poison and the plot and dialogue are truly awful. As bad as it gets.

  • Comment number 75.

    Thanks Mark, now the tweeter in my speakers is bust from you high end fred the movie impression, gosh darn it!

  • Comment number 76.

    @ VirgilHilts

    LOL! That's incredible stuff. The Hollyoaks writers' room felt a real loss that day. Damn it, you make me wanna go seek it out now.

  • Comment number 77.

    This guy Kermode is funny and isn't afraid to take a 'pop'. Why hasn't he got his own TV show ?

  • Comment number 78.

    I'm wondering if it would be a good idea to get film critics to review movies before they are actually made. That is, review the concept. I'd imagine (if money was not the primary motive) those top 5 worst movies would never have been made. However, it would be a bit rubbish if there were only good movies....

  • Comment number 79.

    Just finished watching Mark Gatiss' three part History of Horror on BBC 4 and wondered if you had seen it, if so what did you think? In fact when I saw A History of Horror with Mark.. I was sure that it was actually made by the good doctor himself as I knew it was a subject close to your heart.

    For the record I thought the documentary was very good and Mark Gatiss excellent, it being really nice to see a proper fan making a documentary and speaking to the actors and directors who influenced him personally.

  • Comment number 80.

    I must say I also hated "Alice in Wonderland", if anything for the waste of money and potentially good effects and production design
    http://wp.me/p19wJ2-8j

  • Comment number 81.

    Happy New Year!!! To be honest, I didn't see any of the films in your worst 5 films of 2010 apart from Eat Pray Love so my sympathies to you for having endured so much! I just want to say that I went to see Somewhere the other week and thought it really was quite well done – I felt quite moved when the father and daughter parted when she was going off to camp about ¾ way through the film and the performance of the main actor held my attention right till the end. I am beginning to really like the style of such a film – a 'gentle' film that's rare these days. I think a film should have sufficient length of time to develop the characters properly and for the audience to empathise (or at least become familiar/understand) with them before anything really happens in the film. Nothing truly dramatic happens in Somewhere but it was (perhaps at least) slowly developed so that one could get to know the father and daughter characters and to follow their evolving relationship with each other. I don't think film should be judged by how 'concisely' the story is told – it should be well told (even if it takes a bit longer to tell).

  • Comment number 82.

    @EuropeanBill

    They gave what should have presented by him to a piece of fruit.

  • Comment number 83.

    Thankfully I seem to have enough good judgement not to have ever even contemplated seeing any of these five films. While being a film critic must, at times, seem to be an enviable job, the fact that you have to sit through drek like this, knowing in advance just how awful the experience is going to be, makes me glad it's you and not me.

    I must take issue with those slating "Wolfman" though: you have to love the Lon Chaney Jr original to appreciate it. Of course, it's hokum, but that's the point. I loved it.

    And the review of Mark's I'm most looking forward to this year? "Conan the Barbarian".

  • Comment number 84.

    I can find no fault with this list at all, except that i think sex and the city 2 should be a film that is never mentioned ever!

  • Comment number 85.

    Just woke up...thought I'd catch the worst 5 movies of the year...laughing my head off here...superb stuff.

  • Comment number 86.


    Personally the worst of 2010 were:

    1. Inception

    Okay not the worst, but it gets the number 1 spot because its the most overrated film of the year and yet is actually quite average. Emperors new clothes of a movie, only special effects and no plot, just like every other Hollywood blockbuster.

    2. Prince of Persia
    3. Shelter
    4. Repo Men
    5. The American (dull beyond belief)

    I know its only 5, but I am on a roll.

    6. Book of Eli
    7. Centurion


  • Comment number 87.

    I couldn't imagine a world in which people go to see Fred: The Movie after watching the trailer. It's like a photo warning on the front of a pack of cigarettes.

  • Comment number 88.

    Great review of SATC2 - not that I saw it. (But I do miss your potentially award-winning Christmas jumper from last year, Dr K)

  • Comment number 89.

    Hi, so you definitely do NOT agree with Vadim Rizov's review of 'Fred:The Movie' in Sight&Sound which compares it to Gilliam's 'Tideland' and flags up many of the sociopolitical elements of the film. Does Fred's annoying-ness usurp any such things?

    Also, do you think 'A Town Called Panic' is better than 'Avatar'?

  • Comment number 90.

    No Skyline? Ee gads it was awful!
    As was
    monsters
    The Last Airbender
    Prince of Persia
    RED-How can they take a comic like RED and strip everything that's good about it and make it a comedy? I was a very violent comic and after seeing the film, i felt like i did when i saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Which has got to be one of my all time worst films)

  • Comment number 91.

    I also forgot Scott Pilgrim. That was totally over-rated! It just didn't grab me. I found everyone in it annoying.

  • Comment number 92.

    Worst that I saw.

    Clash of the Titans ~the really bad news is there's going to be a sequel.

    Solomon Kane. Just a real big mess.

    Machete. Danny Trejo irresistible to young women? Sometimes disbelief just can't be suspended; and Michelle Rodriguez should be ashamed for going along with it.

    Red ~ starts off promisingly, then goes totally t**s-up awful.

    Monsters ~ I don't mind road movies, I didn't mind the fact that there was no action, but the film was just plain dull, dull, dull.

    Most really duff stuff (Air Bender, Book of Eli, Robin Hood, Legion, A Team, Jonah Hex) I managed to miss, they looked awful from the outset. Some like Space Chimps can be ignored as they're made for 5 yr olds. Sex and the City - did anyone even like the TV series?

    Next year the curse of the remakes, sequals-n-prequals continues: Straw Dogs (why?), Total Recall, Rise of the Apes, Footloose, Alien, The Mechanic, Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (Depp being very self indulgent judging from the trailer), X-Men: 1st Class etc.

    Still I am faintly looking forward to Nic Cage in Season of The Witch (he seems to be on a roll at the moment), Kung Fu Panda 2, Rio, The Eagle, The Thing and The Wicker Tree; even though 3 of these are remakes, prquels-or-sequels. Is there no originality left?
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    PS. RIP Pete Postlethwaite; one of Britain's finest character actors of recent years. He was good as the villain Obadiah Hakeswill in the TV Sharpe series, fantastic in In the Name of the Father and gave good, solid performances in everything else he appeared in. His speech at the end of Brassed Off was electrifying at the time.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKx3MUqzCcQ

  • Comment number 93.

    Mark you clearly didn't see The Last Airbender! Badly written, terrible acting and the most horrendous editing you could ever see in a film. The worst film i have ever seen at the cinema.

  • Comment number 94.

    'Anything with the Saturday Night Live logo on it is inherently terrible.'

    So I take it you don't like Wayne's World then Mark? Or The Blues Brothers? Granted they're exceptions that prove the rule (and I actively dislike the second Wayne's World), but let's not tar them all with the same brush...

  • Comment number 95.

    The Illusionist. Completely misled by the trailer. I was expecting some kind of gentle whimsy where instead I got a misogynistic tale about how all women are evil & only out for your money. One of the most depressing cartoons since When The Wind Blows. The only laugh my girlfriend & I had was in the credits when we saw that one of the animators was called Suk Bum Lee.

  • Comment number 96.

    RIP Pete Postlethwaite:(

  • Comment number 97.

    "RIP Pete Postlethwaite" Yup, very sad.

    After a year with shamefully few trips to the cinema, from what I saw:

    1: Another vote for "Legion" - Utter waste of time. I wish I'd just re-watched "The Prophecy".

    2: "Iron Man 2" - Utter cr4p.

    3: "The Book of Eli" - What was the point?

    4: "Wall Street 2" - I wonder if there be a directors cut that will be more like a sequel to the original rather than a sort of cr4p love story with a load of old tosh bolted to it.

    5: "Shutter Island" - Morris Night Shyamalan is seriously concerned that he has been outdone in the plot twist stakes.

  • Comment number 98.

    I notice none of the top 5 are in 3D. 3D can't be that bad then...

    Ahem.

    Anyway, because I do heed the good doctor's warnings of the end of civilisation if we all go and watch these films I haven't seen any of the above. Unfortunately, some other films slipped under the radar screen or were deemed "not terrible" enough to give them a wide berth: these were:

    1. Iron Man 2. No more superhero films for me, thank you.
    2. Avatar. Not wosh, just utter interminable tosh. How long was this in the making? And why? In the end I was rooting for the bulldozers.
    3. Robin Hood. Given Russell Crowe's lack of etiquette in various BBC interviews one shouldn't be surprised perhaps. He probably knew the film was a stinker. Being non-native, I don't care much about his accent. The real crime is how the supposedly brilliant original script of Nottingham was maimed by Ridley Scott to this. A director should direct, leave the scriptwriting to the professionals.
    4. Book of Eli. Dull, Michael-Bayish rip off of The Road.
    5. Salt. Finally a thriller with a female lead, shame about the truncated characterisation and haphazard storytelling. Not awful, just wish it had been better.

  • Comment number 99.

    The five worst movies I saw in 2010:
    Skyline
    Last Airbender
    Twilight Eclipse
    Valhalla Rising
    A Serbian Movie

    And seven more (that were 2-star movies or less):
    Dogtooth
    Legion
    Chatroom
    Hot Tub Time Machine
    Resident Evil: Afterlife
    Avatar (the more I think about it the less I like it and the more disappointed I am with it!)
    Tron Legacy (much like Avatar it is pretty to look at with some nice visuals, but has very little else going for it other than being a good cure for Insomnia - such a boring, drawn-out movie)

  • Comment number 100.

    Not surprised that Fred and SITC2 made it in from your reactions on Film Review but didn't expect you to waste your breath Mr Dyer. Your Fred impression reminds me of Christopher Lloyd's unfortunate event in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"

    Up there with SITC2 for me was Valentine's Day. Perhaps it was the fact I was forced to see it on Valentine's Day in a cinema full of people who hadn't signed up to the Code of Conduct.

    I wrote on my blog http://thebigscreen.blogspot.com about a few of my worst films for 2010. I really hated Kick-Ass and I mean really hated.

 

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