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16:21 UK time, Tuesday, 7 August 2012

In light of the "Olympic Effect", can I just point out that, despite what the government may tell you, SPORT IS NOT GOOD.
1) It is not fun. It is hard work, and even - or especially - if you do it properly you will be aching for days after.
2) It is not good for you. Aside from the aching, many people are injured doing sports. You could get run over or drown. At the very least there are bruises, blisters, sprains and stubbed toes. You ask anyone who has dropped a barbell on their foot or performed a bellyflop if it is good for them.
3) It does not make you look good. You end up hot and sweaty, panting and wheezing and bright red. It is not a sexy look and man-sweat smells. In all the times I have jogged down to the station, not once has any of the train-fitties decided that was the moment to ask me out. In fact, you look daft just doing the running/swimming etc. with legs and arms flailing everywhere. Fitness equipment and clothing is very gaudy and unflattering. And if you go swimming you end up with panda eyes.
4) You won't be any good at it. The vast majority of people aren't. Are you seriously expecting to be the next Becky Adlington or Bradley Wiggins? At your age? It's not going to happen, believe me.
So, please don't go swimming or cycling. Leave the pool empty and the cycle lanes clear for those of us who have been exercising regularly for a considerable time now and for whom it won't just be a one month fad, the same as it is for you every January. Many thanks!
Basil Long, Nottingham

Re Olympic nominative determinism - I can't be the first person to draw MM's attention to the hurdler who didn't finish because she fell?
Duncan, Hurstpierpoint

More Olympic nominative determinism. If only there was an exclamation mark after his surname...
Sue, London

Bullets bad for your health. Who knew?
Chrism, St Helens

Following on from Fi's observation (Monday's Letters) that the Dutch judoka who hit the alleged bottle-thrower was called Bosch I am reminded that the Dutch have form in this niche-within-a-niche. Dutch prog band Focus used to have a drummer called Bert Smaak.
Paul, Marlow, UK


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