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Paper Monitor

11:43 UK time, Friday, 2 December 2011

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

It's Friday, and if that isn't a good enough reason to be cheerful then the Times gives us 50 more today.

Why? Who cares.

So what have we got? It all starts rather slowly, but by number six Paper Monitor's mouth is starting to form a smile. The days will start getting longer again in only three weeks. This comes courtesy of Times columnist Robert Crampton. Nice.

Number 10 will bring cheer for six million people. These are the six million who will be informed over the coming months that they are to receive tax rebates, averaging £400. A rare windfall.

Number 32 should really be called "a reason why novelist Louis de Bernieres should be cheerful".

There has been a good crop of pears and the best ever crop of walnuts in the garden of Louis de Bernieres, and he grew the fattest carrot that anyone has ever seen."

But in the spirit of goodwill to all men, we can all try to be happy for him - and his carrot.

Number 36 doesn't start well. Pop group Steps have re-formed. No cheer here. But it redeems itself by also reminding us that Westlife have split up. Paper Monitor is much happier now.

Number 38 comes courtesy of Times columnist Caitlin Moran - the Mahna Mahna song from The Muppet Show. See, we're all beaming now.

But Paper Monitor's real favourite is number 33. Just watch the Fenton YouTube video again. Then again. And then once more.

Best. Video. Ever.

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