A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
The question you might have been asking before your copy of the Daily Telegraph landed on the mat: "Just how big a picture of Kate Winslet and Richard Branson's mum can the paper fit on its front page?"
Paper Monitor has a tape measure to hand so is able to tell you that 6 x 11 inches is the answer. Compare that with the Metro which can find only 8 x 5 inches of La Winslet and Branson himself, poignantly wielding a tortoise.
The advantage of broadsheet over tabloid in one fell swoop - more Winslet, much more. The story of course was about Winslet rescuing Mrs Branson from the flames of the big house on the private island of Necker.
There is more serious news on page three of the Daily Mail. Model - and wife of sometime elf Orlando Bloom - Miranda Kerr has created a spike in coconut oil sales after attributing her blemish-free skin and glossy hair to the stuff.
At this point Paper Monitor wonders whether it could create its own sales spike by attributing its blemish-free and glossy copy to porridge. Just wondering.
Back to coconut oil and the newspaper does go on to say: "Experts have warned against drinking too much coconut oil as it contains high levels of saturated fat and calories."
Boo to the experts. Boo. Next they'll be telling us pina colada for breakfast isn't a good idea.