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Paper Monitor

11:14 UK time, Wednesday, 13 July 2011

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

There is a simple lesson to be learned in today's papers - if you don't ask, you don't get.

The mantra worked for Scott Moore, a sergeant with the US Marine Corp, and has made him headline news as well. He asked Hollywood actress Mila Kunis to the annual Marine Corp Ball via YouTube and she accepted - albeit when put on the spot during a televised interview by her current co-star Justin Timberlake.

He said she should do it for her country, as Sgt Moore is serving in one of Afghanistan's most hostile regions. It left her very little room for manoeuvre. Cheers for that Justin. Although technically she could have argued that her country is the Ukraine, where she was born. Paper Monitor is guessing the US public might not have liked that.

But as the Times reveals, she has recently split from long-term boyfriend Macaulay Culkin so probably has some evenings free anyway. But what Paper Monitor finds even more exciting than Ms Kunis's invitation to the ball is the other two Hollywood stars who have been invited, according to the paper.

They are action hero Chuck Norris and R Lee Ermey, the retired marine who played an abusive drill instructor who drives a young recruit to suicide in the film Full Metal Jacket. No word as yet if they have accepted, but if they do Paper Monitor wants to be at that event. It's shaping up to be event of the year.

Others embracing the "don't ask, don't get" mantra are the producers of Loose Women. The Daily Mirror reveals they have drawn up a shortlist of women to replace the axed panellists, Kate Thornton and Zoe Tyler. (Surely a career nadir that's impossible to come back from?)

It's an impressive list. Reportedly heading it are comic Dawn French and Royle Family writer Caroline Aherne. The paper says "bosses had considered Vicar of Dibley comic Dawn French and Royle Family writer Caroline Aherne for the vacant slots". And then presumably woke up from the dream world where they might actually accept.

Apparently actress Caroline Quentin was also approached, but had already "committed" to something else. Washing her hair? Watching paint dry? But continue to reach for the stars Loose Women producers, as Sgt Moore proved - anything is possible.

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