A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
With the royal wedding just four days away, is there any way someone else's nuptials can make it into nearly all the papers?
Oh yes, and the way to do it is have Keira Knightley as your bridesmaid. Pictures of the actress at her brother's wedding in Glasgow are everywhere today.
Forget what the bride was wearing, she's not even pictured in the Daily Mail or the Daily Telegraph and we barely get to see her face in the Daily Mirror. But we do get many pictures of Ms Knightley's outfit and a full rundown: "An above-the-knee, V-neck purple frock, which she teamed with black heels and a simple hairdo." Just in case you were wondering.
But despite Ms Knightley hogging the column inches, the royal wedding still gets a look in. The lord and master of PR, Simon Cowell, even manages to get an X Factor front page out of it. The Sun's royal wedding "exclusive" is that the show's stage manager has been hired to direct television coverage on Friday.
The Daily Mail is putting all its efforts today into trying to solve what it calls "a royal wedding mystery" - who invited Guy Ritchie?
But the Daily Mirror wins the strangest-sight-of-the-day prize. It's a photo of Nanny Pat from The Only Way Is Essex doing the universal street sign for "innit" with rapper Vanilla Ice. This unseasonably hot weather seems be going to people's heads.