A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Paper Monitor, finding itself in work on this day, really cannot be bothered to go and seek out the papers.
Instead, here is what is probably in the papers, on the basis that it has been for every one of the other years since the Romans first started whacking the news onto lumps of rock.
Many of today's newspapers will feature a picture of fireworks on their front page.
(That fireworks still remain a novelty more than a millennium after their invention is a discussion for another time.)
Then there are the "revellers". In many places they will have "braved the cold". In the photos, many will be wearing woolly hats. Some of the woolly hat wearers will be kissing each other.
Despite what the spread of photos might suggest, there is no peer-reviewed evidence to suggest that New Year's Eve celebrations are dominated by attractive young blonde ladies.
As far as actual news goes, there will be the odd survey about binge drinking or obesity, to make us feel bad about our excesses of the past few days.
And there will be desperate attempts to "move on" real stories that petered out days ago. Or to preview things that really won't happen for many days.
Happy New Year.