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Paper Monitor

11:50 UK time, Wednesday, 20 May 2009

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Sing it with me now... Inspired by Web Monitor's shout out to Autotune the News, with its groovy 'n' grinding songs crafted from rolling news coverage, one wonders if the same could be done by blending assorted newspaper headlines into verse.

[Sound of pages turning]

Paper Monitor has, belated, spotted this plan's very obvious flaw, namely that one's singing voice isn't up to much. So I'll hum it, you sing it.

First up, a couple of catchy little numbers drawn from the Daily Mirror. Away we go:
"I love my husband but I can't sit around crying
Katie speaks
Katie speaks
The end of the dream.
Take Katie back,
Mel of a date.

"Patched shoe!
Cement on suit!
Scuffed knuckles!
Dangerous work, this princing."

Yo yo yo, it's the Daily Star at the mike:
"Gone in 34 secs,
It's a bedtime Tory.
Don't take the Vicky,
Cole mate."

And finally, let's wind it down with the Daily Telegraph, with backing vocals by the Times:
For all the wrong reasons.
Flat makeover,
Then a shooting trip for friend.

"[And now, the end is near....]
He had to go.
We need someone
To turn this place upside down.
New order.
Glove story."

Thank you! You've been a great audience.


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