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Paper Monitor

12:44 UK time, Wednesday, 4 March 2009

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

Paper Monitor just loves the celebrity comment that comes out of left field.

Last week a Magazine colleague quoted glam newsreader Emily Maitlis on the joy of fleeces. Today it's the Times, which recruits Suggs to write about beekeeping. Yes, that Suggs. Him off Madness.

For his house had two hives on the roof, until the bees suddenly up and disappeared. "My wife was heartbroken," he notes.

Nor are Mr and Mrs Suggs the only hobby keepers to endure this calamity. A new report says the country's 20,000 amateurs must be trained to spot the diseases which can wipe out the workers vital to the UK's lucrative apple and pear crops. That's right, honeybees.

"The only stress was the time we had to retrieve them from next door's washing line, where they were found sitting in a row," Suggs writes.

Which does rather prompt the question, how does one "retrieve" bees? It also prompts Paper Monitor to wonder if there are any Madness honey/bee/insect puns - submissions please using the COMMENTS button below.

Meanwhile, the Daily Telegraph is in clover. It has yet another excuse to run a front page pic of Gail Trimble after her team was stripped of its University Challenge title. OK, this is actually down to her team mate breaking the rules, but he only warrants a photo a tenth the size of hers.

After all, she is everything the Telegraph could want in a woman. Oxbridge educated. Reading Latin. Demure. Just the type a captain of industry might want as his Girl Friday. And any minute she might shake out that bun and whip off those glasses...

Why Miss Trimble, you're... you're... beautiful!

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