A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
[Puff!] Very virtuous this morning. Have resolved to follow the new year, new you advice in the papers. Just back from a 5am swim a la Rebecca Addlington (training tips from the medal winners, Saturday's Guardian) and about to recuperate while catching up on the classic literature (Cranford DVD in the Daily Mail) and then a spot of gardening (free seeds from the Daily Telegraph).
But first, to work. Sorry. It's the hardest word, isn't it. "Sorry is not good enough" is the Mail's front page headline after an old video of Prince Harry teasing his fellow soldiers with some rather questionable terms emerged. And there is further fulmination inside headlined: "Isn't it time that this silly boy Harry was growing up?" How time flies - it seems like only yesterday (OK, only 11 month ago that, in the wake of Harry's tour of duty in Afghanistan, the Mail asked readers "not [to] forget that we have a contract with all of our soldiers, Prince Harry included, to match their heroism with our support").
Meanwhile, a diversion to once again applaud the mighty Lucy Kellaway, columnist for the Financial Times, who today writes on the tosh bandied about over colds. She had Paper Monitor from the moment she mentioned that when someone calls a cold the "flu":
"[I]t causes me to shift ever so slightly what I think of them, in much the same way as Maggie Thatcher's view of Alan Clark, the Conservative politician, shifted when she found out he was a vegetarian".
And finally, let's make a date for Friday with someone who Nick Clegg last week referred to as being "in a long tradition of fairly eccentric individuals" - Lembit Opik. The Lib Dem MP has taken up his political columnship for the Daily Sport, and Paper Monitor is determined to see how he serves up the Westminster Village for Sport readers... only keeps forgetting each Friday to actually buy a copy, as this particular organ is not included in the news bundle delivered daily to Monitor Towers.
In an interview with the Independent last month, the man himself described his Sport column: "I'll cover politics in ordinary human language, and with a smile." He also outlined the other publications he's written for: "The County Times and Shropshire Star"... "Flight Training News"...
"I rarely refuse a request, even in smaller publications". (What would the Lib Dem MP for Montgomeryshire write for the Magazine Monitor if asked?) So. A reminder set in one's personal organiser diary, one will purchase the Daily Sport at the end of this week. And don't spare the blushes!