A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Any woman would feel for Sarah Brown.
Not only has she been photographed next to an achingly chic supermodel (imagine the inner "what to wear" monologue when the Sarkozys were due in town: "Tweed perhaps? a trousers suit?... phfff, who'll be looking at me?"), the Prime Minister's wife has donated her conference outfit to charity.
Only for a model to don her dress for a catwalk strut, loose folds of fabric billowing about her willowy frame. And for said picture to appear in the Daily Telegraph. But Mrs Brown is made of stern stuff. After the uncomplimentary comparisons with Carla Bruni-Sarkozy, she told the Times, "With all due respect to myself, I knew that day I couldn't win... I try not to take too much notice. How can I?"
Sir Paul McCartney too is the subject of compare and contrast in the reviews of his concert in Israel. He tried out a few numbers from his post-Beatles career, but the crowd only came to life for the songs penned with John Lennon.
The Times uncharitably notes his Wings numbers have "the uncanny ability to dredge up memories of grey Sundays on damp Welsh holidays in the 1970s - even on a warm Tel Aviv night."
When he broke into a jig during his recent release Dance Tonight, he was the only one in the stadium doing just that, says reviewer James Hider.
There was one solo effort that really got the crowd going - John Lennon's Give Peace a Chance, says the Telegraph. "A thousand waving cell phones glowed in the crowd like fireflies after Sir Paul dedicated the song to his late fellow Beatle."
Should he muse on this overlong, perhaps Sir Paul might like to take a leaf out of Sarah Brown's book.