A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
The following story involves a serious and unacceptable alleged assault on an animal. There is nothing amusing about it.
A "pensioner" has been arrested for having sex with a horse, the Sun reports.
The newspaper has a small picture of a white horse with the "black bar of anonymity" over its eyes. The caption says: "'Attractive'... horse". There is nothing amusing about this.
Also reading the Sun, Paper Monitor spots what should have been Monday's quote of the day. Darn it.
A man, Karl Wiosna, from South Wales, has had his CDs, cassettes, record decks and stereo destroyed by magistrates after he drove neighbours mad playing Cher's dancey 90s hit Believe at full volume every day. In his defence, Wiosna says: "It wasn't just Cher - I used to play heavy metal too." Not quite getting the point there, I fear.
Over in the Independent there's another quote that puzzles. In the Pandora column, Konnie Huq is reported as saying: "That's how I started out. I was in the National Youth Music Theatre with Jude Law, Matt Lucas - those sorts of people - about 10 years ago."
It's a little strange, because Huq became a full-time Blue Peter presenter on 1 December 1997. How did she find time for the youth theatre. And how heartening that Law found time for the youth theatre at the same time as he was making The Talented Mr Ripley.
It's curious, because the wise Wikipedia says Jude Law was in the National Youth Music Theatre in 1987 and of course, in 1989, Huq appeared on Blue Peter to sing a song while a member.
Moving on, it's time to feel sorry for the newspapers with their tough deadlines.
How dare the Olympic organisers schedule a swimming event with a chance of British medals at 0419 BST? British women win gold and bronze and there's not a thing the newspapers can do about it.
The only thing they can run with is Nicole Cooke's gold in the cycling which is from 24 hours ago. They can't go big on it, except the Daily Mirror which splashes on this day-old news.
And both the Mirror and the Sun go for variations of "Gold Pedal"/"Gold Pedallist". You can even see it on the BBC News frontpage.
Ah, great minds.