A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Do you know Paper Monitor's favourite tune? It's that one that goes "Der derrrr, der der der der der da der der der der der der derrr der der der der-derr der der derrrr". Know what it is yet?
Thought not. It was actually the opening bars of Bigmouth Strikes Again, but realistically there was no way you were going to know what it was, unless you knew what it was beforehand. Let's try a little experiment. What TV theme tune is this?
Dah der-der-der dah der-der-der dah der-der-der Dum (der-der-der) dummm der-der-der dum der-der-der dummmm. Answers please via the comments field below. A bonus dollop of kudos to anyone who gets it, though that should not in any way be taken to imply that this is a competition. It's just an editorial exercise to prove the point that the Sun's strapline (Der Der Der Der-Der, Der Derr Da Der Der) about the death of Eric "Digger" Dowling means nothing to anyone until they've read the story and discovered that he was the real hero of the Great Escape.
Your secondary challenge - make the Sun's Ders fit to the Great Escape tune. It's possible, a colleague of Paper Monitor's has just proved, but only just.
Still, the paper makes up for it with a headline on a nib (news in brief) about a pineapple-sized meteorite which has been auctioned: "PINA COLLIDER".
Most interesting story of the day is in the Daily Mail. Remember Wednesday's quote of the day? Californian Bernann McKinney who had her dead dog cloned because she was so grateful to it for saving her from another dog which had gone mad because of too much medication? Old hands on the paper heard bells ringing, and have gone to town on their theory - dismissed by the lady herself - that she was the same woman as had been involved in a gloriously colourful court case in the 1970s. Paper Monitor is far too young to remember, so has no view either way, but the Mail runs its headline the way only the Mail can:
"The bizarre case of the Mormon manacled in mink-lined handcuffs, the sex-mad beauty queen who had her way with him... and the sad old dog lover who's just cloned her best friend - a pitbull." Yep, that's the headline.
The whole story, true or not, has quite made Paper Monitor's morning.
PS. Still no-one follows up the Swingdependent's allegations that swinging parties have become a part of mainstream Britain. Mystifying.