A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
There are serious issues in the world today. Natural disasters, disease and poverty in some places, and even in Britain, problems as grave as falling house prices, recession fears and rocketing food and fuel costs.
These have to be communicated to everyone. Even to Daily Star readers. The newspaper presents the issues in a manner that's easily understood.
Page nine is entirely dedicated to the rapid rise in food prices, illustrated by a picture of bikini-clad Malene and Claire. One is pouting and holding up two melons. A subtle smile plays across the mouth of the other as she wields two large cucumbers. "WE WON'T GET MANY OF THESE TO POUND" is the headline. Ooo and er.
In the Sun it's "THE CREDIT MUNCH". The Daily Mirror tones down the Punometer with "GLOOM AND BUST".
And how might the Sun headline a story that French pressure for an EU military force could mean the requisitioning of the HMS Ark Royal? "Oi Sarky, we're narky over UE Navy malarkey."
No skate through the papers would be complete without a Daily Mail animal story.
Today's offering is about the stars of a new show about heroic dogs. There's Pickle, who can skateboard. There's Cavendish, who can load the washing machine for his blind owner. And Bianca, who can smell when his diabetic three-year-old owner's blood sugar levels drop.
Paper Monitor is misty-eyed with admiration.