A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Everyone loves a wedding. Is there a better way to take our minds off the woes of the world, and all the recent talk of credit crunches and nasty decades?
Being truly British, there can be only one type of wedding that will do the job. A royal wedding. Princess Margaret and Anthony Armstrong-Jones, Prince Charles and Diana Spencer, Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson, Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles. All days of national celebration (and commemorative plates).
However, praise for the latest royal nuptials has been marred by THOSE wedding photos. Princess Anne's son, Peter Phillips and his (now) wife Autumn's decision to sell the photos for a cool £500,000 deal to Hello! has left a not-so-sweet taste for many, with critics questioning the royal family's right to call for privacy having done such a deal.
Many of the papers pour scorn over the glossy magazine's spread: "100 pages of overkill" (Daily Mail), "The world of Wag weddings has new champions - the Windsors" (Sun).
But it's the Daily Telegraph, that great newspaper of the Establishment, which regards the whole thing with particular distaste - hence the headlines "Queen slams door on celebrity magazine deals" and "Palace regrets 'selling out'".
That was page seven. By page 22, the paper takes a different view of the big day - a fine example of joined-up journalism - as writer Becky Pugh delights in the details of the big day. And she lays it on thick*: "Marvellous, tasteful, warm and natural - and nothing tacky in sight".
"Nothing, absolutely nothing, about this wedding was de trop. On the contrary, my friends keep ringing me to bleat about their wedding envy. From the lily-of-the-valley buttonholes to shimmering dance floor, the band in white satin suits and the 'trio of treats' for pudding, it was all done in impeccably stylish and modern taste."
Mmmmm. Paper Monitor likes the sound of a "trio of treats" for pud. Although detail is unavailable on which treats were involved, as one has to buy said magazine for a full rundown. Answers on a postcard, please.
Meanwhile, what of the Daily Express's coverage of the celebrations? Not a peep. But the paper is a stablemate of Hello!'s biggest rival, OK! - which may or may not have influenced the news editors.
* Warning. You may experience feelings of nausea and squeamishness when reading this. Although hopefully not dessert-induced.