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Paper Monitor

10:30 UK time, Friday, 21 March 2008

A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.

So what's the aftertaste of a large helping of humble pie? Bitter, judging by the Daily Express.

A day after THAT apology to the McCanns, it's back to business. And in the line of fire this time are the presenters of TV show Loose Women.

The paper's high moral standards are offended by the way the women behaved at an awards ceremony. So offended that the story is on the front page and on the whole of page three.

"They were prepared to let it all hang out - even if no-one actually wanted them to," it says. Miaow!!

Those of delicate sensibilities should look away while Paper Monitor reveals the extent of the debauched behaviour. Are you sure you're ready?

OK, the pictures (which are large, so no reader is in any doubt about the level of depravity) show one woman showing off her legs under her dress, to a mark that can only be described as ABOVE the knee, another pulling a face and ALMOST sticking her tongue out, while a third is wearing a low-cut dress that distinctly shows her CLEAVAGE.

And if that were not sufficiently lascivious, another picture reveals a woman giving a man a PECK on the lips.

Thanks to the restraint of the Express - "indeed there were more photos far too shocking to reveal in a family newspaper" - readers are spared further exposure to such acts.

Such sound judgement is so rare in Fleet Street these days, we can only be glad there are papers like the Express to guide us through the moral minefield.

More good work at the Daily Mirror - maybe front page apologies have a galvanising effect - where they snapped David Cameron breaking traffic laws while cycling to work.

The Conservative leader (referred to as simply "Dave" by the paper) held his hands up and apologised.

But don't worry, he had disembarked by then.

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