A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Surely it would take only a story of the utmost important to knock flooding from the Sun's front page. Absolutely, and that story is the "new lows" in the lives of Lindsay and Britney. Hmmm, maybe it's an extremely clever tactic to cheer up thousands of water-logged Britons?
You think you've got it bad, at least you're not reportedly babbling in baby talk and vomiting at a photo session like Ms Spears. Flooded out of house and home? Spare a thought for the mother of Ms Lohan's PA, who reportedly had to call the police after being pursued in her car by the actress.
But the paper is doing its bit for people in flood-hit areas. It sent a double-decker bus packed with bottles of water and Page Three girls to hand them out. It says one desperate dad paddled FIVE MILES in a canoe to reach the bus. Wonder if he'd have bothered if John Prescott had been handing out the emergency supplies.
And talking of the flood, things aren't looking good for Conservative leader David Cameron. It's been noted by the media that he's on a visit to Rwanda while his constituents battle with flood chaos. But you know you're in seriously deep water when even the Rwandans ask you why you aren't at home.
The Daily Mail and Guardian report that Rwandan journalists quizzed Cameron on why he was in their country discussing aid when parts of his Witney consituency in Oxfordshire were "devastated by floods".
In his defence he did say that even though he was thousands of miles away he was in permanent contact with the district council for the area. That must have put his constituents' minds at rest.