A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
Kate Moss and Pete Doherty - are they or aren't they? As if your average worker bee didn't have enough to be thinking about as they stumbled into the office after the Break, the question they must wrestle with is whether the tabloids' First Couple are now hitched.
Having made the running yesterday, by asking whether "Cocaine Kate" and "Junkie Pete" were about to get hitched, the Daily Mail has fallen curiously silent on the story today.
It plumps instead for the less rock and roll, rather more wrinkly and middle-aged, romances of golfer Greg "the Shark" Norman and housewives' favourite, actor Robert Lindsay.
So the Sun steps in to fill the vacuum, with an exclusive claiming the couple were married yesterday in a bizarre Buddhist ceremony while on holiday in Thailand.
It tells how flowers were draped over their shoulders and - in what must be a first for a man not known for treating his body as a temple - water was sprinkled over their heads as they said "High Do".
Pictures-wise, those formal family line-ups are abandoned in favour of some mobile-phone style snatch shots of Doherty doing a solo first dance.
For those of us concerned about the technical and legal implications - never mind the stratospheric tabloid gossip rating - yes, he did check with his probation officer that all was good to go before travelling out of the country.
And no, rest easy, the "marriage" won't be legally binding in the UK, should they have any second thoughts about the wisdom of such a union.
The rumour is, though, that they will tie the knot for real back home on 18 January. Expect the tabloids to go mad for What Katy Did Next.