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Punorama results

13:30 UK time, Wednesday, 25 October 2006

whisky2_203.jpgWe take a story from the news and you write a punning headline. Now it's results time.

This week was a story about police trying to trace a lorry-load of whisky which was stolen while the driver took a shower at a motorway service station. The truck was driven off from Reading Services in Berkshire and later found abandoned but empty.

So, how did you do? Well, there were some extremely popular themes.

Scotch Missed - or variations on the theme - were sent in from Michael Gallagher, Gary Belshaw, Jake Perks, Mike Grimes, Andy in Leeds, Sarah in Dartmouth, Helen Eva, Jeremy Stevenson, Steve Hickman, Akilah, Stu Webb, Grollope, Bunny, Violette Cameron, Bryn Roberts, N Willing, Ron King and Richard Peers. Phew.

Inspired by a wee dram were Neil, Matt B and Steve Hickman with Dram Raid. Thinking along the same lines were Lynn with Dram Raiders, also Cameron Smith and David Regan with Dram Busters.

There's more. Got Away Scotch Free - or something very close to that - was the entry sent in by Muhammad Isa, Phil Whitehead, Will Parkhouse, Richard Clarke, Peter, Lynn and Theron Bigland. Along the same lines was Scotch and Robbers suggested by Matthew.

Another goodie was Whisky Business , sent in by Tony and also Neil. Whisky Manouvere was sent in by Phil in Cardiff.

An honourable mention for individuality goes to Steven Gray for Thieves Tippled-Pink , Graz for Scotcha! and Murray Milne for Nips and Truck .

But MM's personal favourites this week were The Great Grain Robbery from Sarah, Malt, In The Name Of The Law from James Lynden and Malt Teaser from Stephen C in Winchester. Bravo, top of the class.

Click here if your effort is not included in the above.

Comments

  1. At 11:58 AM on 24 Oct 2006, Lester Mak, London wrote:

    Lost his bottles

  2. At 12:01 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Rob Falconer wrote:

    Whisky a Gone-Gone

  3. At 12:12 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Darren wrote:

    Where's the Proof?

  4. At 12:12 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Phil wrote:

    groggy driver loses grog

  5. At 12:20 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Richard Peers wrote:

    Show-er me the way to go home

  6. At 12:22 PM on 24 Oct 2006, david regan wrote:

    Wash And it GOes

  7. At 12:23 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Richard Peers wrote:

    Single halt

  8. At 12:25 PM on 24 Oct 2006, david regan wrote:

    WASH & GOne

  9. At 12:25 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Rob Falconer wrote:

    Johnnie Walked

  10. At 12:27 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Darren wrote:

    Gotta Lotta Bottle.

  11. At 12:27 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Charles, USA wrote:

    Scotch-hopped!

  12. At 12:28 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Valérie Falconer wrote:

    Scotch Eggs-it

  13. At 12:29 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Valérie Falconer wrote:

    Scotch on the Rocks

  14. At 12:32 PM on 24 Oct 2006, lynn wrote:

    Booze leggers

  15. At 12:32 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Dave Taylor wrote:

    HiJack Daniels

  16. At 12:36 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Nicole wrote:

    Loaded and trashed...

  17. At 12:38 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Sam wrote:

    Drivers leave vehicles at own whisk

  18. At 12:41 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Bradley wrote:

    Taken not stirred

  19. At 12:42 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Whisky wherefore

  20. At 12:43 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Sam wrote:

    Drink Driving is Wheely Whisky

  21. At 12:43 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Helene Parry wrote:

    Whisky a gone-gone

  22. At 12:44 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Malt nicker

  23. At 12:45 PM on 24 Oct 2006, MCK wrote:

    Lorry driver dis-spirited by theft

  24. At 12:52 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    Whisky shower

  25. At 12:54 PM on 24 Oct 2006, R.G wrote:

    Hops and Bare-Lay by Getaway

  26. At 12:55 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Bish wrote:

    Jacked Van-hauls

  27. At 12:55 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Bryn Roberts wrote:

    Whisky a go go

  28. At 12:56 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    Rye, oh my

  29. At 12:57 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Martin wrote:

    Whisked away on the double

  30. At 12:57 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Bish wrote:

    Jim Been-and-gone

  31. At 01:00 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    Single fault

  32. At 01:01 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Chris Stocks wrote:

    Turning a dram into a crisis

  33. At 01:02 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Chris Stocks wrote:

    Thieves accept burden of proof.

  34. At 01:03 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Bish wrote:

    Hi-jack Daniels

  35. At 01:04 PM on 24 Oct 2006, N Willing wrote:

    I'll take a wee - damn!

  36. At 01:07 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Theron Bigland wrote:

    Whisky a Gone Gone

  37. At 01:09 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Keith wrote:

    Punorama: "Hopped Scotch"

  38. At 01:13 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Mark Perryman wrote:

    Whiskeyed away

  39. At 01:15 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Robert Phillips wrote:

    Whisky chaser.

  40. At 01:19 PM on 24 Oct 2006, david wrote:

    lorry driver in the loos looses booze

  41. At 01:19 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Rob Falconer wrote:

    The thieves are distill on the run

  42. At 01:19 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    Cop scotch

  43. At 01:24 PM on 24 Oct 2006, N Willing wrote:

    Highland sting

  44. At 01:25 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Ian wrote:

    Whiskey Whisked-off.

  45. At 01:30 PM on 24 Oct 2006, James B wrote:

    My pun:

    "Whiskey-ed away"

  46. At 01:31 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Bryan Wilkes wrote:

    Drink Drivers

  47. At 01:34 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Sarah wrote:

    Whiskey a go-gone!

  48. At 01:35 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Ambulatory artic-ulation

  49. At 01:36 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Glen livid

  50. At 01:38 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Steven wrote:

    Johnny walked off the back of a lorry

    yeah, that sucks..

  51. At 01:38 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Rob Powell wrote:

    Drivers career is Glen-fidiched as his lorry leaves scotch marks on the road

  52. At 01:41 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Time for a famous grouse.

  53. At 01:41 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Nick Rikker, Barcelona, Spain wrote:

    Whisky and heist

  54. At 01:42 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Andrea wrote:

    One For The Road

  55. At 01:49 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    The wail of the white horse

  56. At 01:51 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Theron Bigland wrote:

    One for the road

  57. At 01:54 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Nick it to rye

  58. At 01:56 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Clean, getaway.

  59. At 02:01 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    High-hand Park

  60. At 02:10 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Bryan wrote:

    Whiskied Away!

  61. At 02:11 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Graz wrote:

    Scotcha!

  62. At 02:12 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Gareth Jones, Anglesey wrote:

    Dram ...bye-ee!

  63. At 02:14 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Daniel Jones wrote:

    Berkshire Police - In hunt for Whiskey chasers.

  64. At 02:14 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    Watered and neat

  65. At 02:16 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    Too fingered

  66. At 02:16 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Gareth Jones, Anglesey wrote:

    Juggernaut? ...Malt thievers!

  67. At 02:26 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Helene Parry wrote:

    Scotch and ride

  68. At 02:27 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Martin Payne wrote:

    In-trucks-icated

  69. At 02:32 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Neil Reading, Stafford wrote:

    Whisky Sours as driver loses 'HotScotch'

  70. At 02:35 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Steve K wrote:

    Blendid Job

  71. At 02:36 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Helene Parry wrote:

    Hi-jack Daniels

  72. At 02:37 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Helene Parry wrote:

    A wee drama

  73. At 02:41 PM on 24 Oct 2006, N Willing wrote:

    Oh, I'll tak' the rye load ...

  74. At 02:42 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Mary wrote:

    Thieves get away scotch free

  75. At 02:50 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Gareth Jones, Anglesey wrote:

    Malt & Barley Blues

  76. At 02:59 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Steve K wrote:

    'Moray José', or 'Thats Speyside the point'

  77. At 03:00 PM on 24 Oct 2006, norm brown wrote:

    That'll Teacher.

  78. At 03:01 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Helen wrote:

    Robbed Rye

  79. At 03:03 PM on 24 Oct 2006, James, Epsom wrote:

    Jacked Daniels

  80. At 03:05 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    Woe for peat's sake

  81. At 03:09 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    The jigger's up

  82. At 03:12 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Darren wrote:

    Falling off the wagon.

  83. At 03:23 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Brian Ritchie wrote:

    ... and this year's No Bells prize is awarded to ...

  84. At 03:26 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Stuart wrote:

    Johnny Walkies

  85. At 03:28 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Brian Ritchie wrote:

    A dram/artic robbery

  86. At 03:28 PM on 24 Oct 2006, James Hayward wrote:

    Whisked away

  87. At 03:31 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Stuart Foot wrote:

    Jacked Daniels

  88. At 03:31 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Stuart wrote:

    Whisk it Galore

  89. At 03:32 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Phil wrote:

    Whisky galorry

  90. At 03:33 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Philip Lickley wrote:

    A whiskey but no chaser.

  91. At 03:34 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Malt control deceit

  92. At 03:35 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Stuart wrote:

    I'm going to blend blend blend!

  93. At 03:37 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Stuart wrote:

    Alcoholic's anonymous

  94. At 03:38 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Steve Hickman wrote:

    [This week only, free alliteration with every pun]
    Malt-loafer loses lorry load of liquor.

  95. At 03:38 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Tim Knott wrote:

    Bells off the back of a lorry

  96. At 03:45 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Sharon wrote:

    Police accused of failing to get into the spirit of the theft!

    :D

  97. At 03:49 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Whisky sour

  98. At 03:50 PM on 24 Oct 2006, David Gibson wrote:

    "Oh Truck!" Says Driver, After Whisky Whisked Away.

  99. At 03:52 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Helene Parry wrote:

    Malt-tipple theft

  100. At 03:57 PM on 24 Oct 2006, david hoyle wrote:

    Whisky - a - go - go

  101. At 03:57 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Derek Behan wrote:

    Empty vessels make no found

  102. At 04:04 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Lee Pike wrote:

    Simply wash and gone.

  103. At 04:06 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Derek Behan wrote:

    Police have no "Proof"

  104. At 04:14 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    AA Breakdown covered

  105. At 04:18 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Johnny Lyttle wrote:

    Off (with) the wagon!

  106. At 04:20 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Susan wrote:

    Whiskey thieves "had a lot of bottle"

  107. At 04:20 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Lee Pike wrote:

    Stolen whiskey has no proof.

  108. At 04:21 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Theron Bigland wrote:

    Bourbonator 2 - I'll be Jack

  109. At 04:25 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Farley wrote:

    Malt-away services

  110. At 04:25 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Andy wrote:

    licqour laden lorry lifted

  111. At 04:28 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Lee Pike wrote:

    Showering lorry driver in hot water

  112. At 04:28 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Lee Pike wrote:

    Leaving lorry unattended is too whiskey.

  113. At 04:33 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Tim wrote:

    "Police Aiming to Scotch Fears Over Increased Crime in Bourbon Areas"

  114. At 04:34 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Robin wrote:

    Whiskey Galorry

  115. At 04:35 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Thieves Have The Last Laughroaig

  116. At 04:36 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Tober-no-mory

  117. At 04:36 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Glenfinished

  118. At 04:37 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    The Missing Linkwood

  119. At 04:40 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Motorway stole load

  120. At 04:40 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Stolen Whisky Lorry Oban-doned

  121. At 04:41 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Nigel Macarthur wrote:

    Fallen By The Speyside

  122. At 04:46 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Takeaway service on the M4

  123. At 04:49 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Helene Parry wrote:

    Third party firewater theft

  124. At 05:00 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Mel wrote:

    35ml an hour getaway truck

  125. At 05:10 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Jel wrote:

    The cops are looking for a screw-driver

  126. At 05:15 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Tony wrote:

    Poorgone Whiskey (bourbon..)

  127. At 05:16 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    A hard shoulder to cry on

  128. At 05:18 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Tony wrote:

    Jacked Daniels

  129. At 05:22 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Jack London wrote:

    Bourbon Legend

  130. At 05:22 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Mary wrote:

    Maltorway Robbery

  131. At 06:02 PM on 24 Oct 2006, sarah, ts, it wrote:

    Hooch-hiked

  132. At 06:05 PM on 24 Oct 2006, sarah, ts, it wrote:

    Blended in the background

  133. At 06:16 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Speed wrote:

    Running on empty.

  134. At 06:21 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Speed wrote:

    Whisky agogo.

  135. At 06:32 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Speed wrote:

    Whisky and bye.

  136. At 06:35 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Stig wrote:

    Whisky Mac-a-getaway..

  137. At 06:36 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Cayley wrote:

    Johnny Walk-off

  138. At 06:54 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Whisky Mack (it's a truck thing)

  139. At 06:55 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Stig wrote:

    Libation Liberation Affront

  140. At 06:57 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Keith wrote:

    Whisk-he-a-go-go-gone!

  141. At 07:05 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Patrick Rudland wrote:

    The Malt-ese Allgone
    (as in The Maltese Falcon)

  142. At 07:42 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Pix6, Vienna wrote:

    Bourbon fingered.

  143. At 09:30 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Snifter shifters

  144. At 10:01 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Simon Rooke wrote:

    Whiskey, hotel, uniform!

  145. At 10:11 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Stephen wrote:

    1) Tipple lorry
    2) Hoocha think did it?
    3) A wee drama

  146. At 11:14 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Tim Francis-Wright wrote:

    Sometimes you Dalwhinnie, and sometimes you Glenlossie.

  147. At 11:53 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Phil, Cardiff wrote:

    Loch Your Vechicles

  148. At 11:54 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Phil, Cardiff wrote:

    Whisky Thief Off With A Shot

  149. At 11:56 PM on 24 Oct 2006, Phil, Cardiff wrote:

    Lorry Drivers Shower

  150. At 12:04 AM on 25 Oct 2006, LH wrote:

    Thieves have gotta lotta bottle.

  151. At 07:26 AM on 25 Oct 2006, G Moore wrote:

    Whisky 'n' soaker

  152. At 07:49 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Jules G wrote:

    Whisky Chaser!

  153. At 08:10 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Kip wrote:

    Malt Flounders

  154. At 08:21 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Darren wrote:

    Hijack Daniels.

  155. At 08:23 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Candace wrote:

    Johnnie Stalker

  156. At 08:55 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Kenny (Munich) wrote:

    Double take in w-heist-ky dram-a.

  157. At 09:10 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Alex Fortune wrote:

    I said take a wee dram, not a wee van.

  158. At 10:04 AM on 25 Oct 2006, dzernski wrote:

    Kennedy's caper cancels colourful conference Keiledgh

  159. At 10:11 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Sarah wrote:

    They've got a lotta bottle!

  160. At 10:16 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Tim Knott wrote:

    Shower Man in Wee Dram Scam.

  161. At 10:18 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Jason Sweby wrote:

    Whisky Chasers

  162. At 10:25 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Jason Sweby wrote:

    Infamous Grouse

  163. At 10:27 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Jason Sweby wrote:

    Whisky stolen from Berk

  164. At 11:13 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Gareth Jones, Anglesey wrote:

    Alcohol nicked Anonymously

  165. At 11:25 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Tom Feilding wrote:

    Mellow dram attack

  166. At 11:26 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Roy, Stadi wrote:

    Johnnie Walker Black Market,
    Glengone,
    The Jura is out,
    and entry no. 87 for Scotch Missed

  167. At 11:28 AM on 25 Oct 2006, Catherine O wrote:

    M 4 Misappropriation

This post is closed to new comments.

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