A service highlighting the riches of the daily press.
The Daily Telegraph rejoices in a chance to use a front page photo that ticks the key boxes: "posh", "blonde" and "attractive". It's Zara Phillips of course, fresh from her emotional triumph at the World Equestrian Games in Germany.
But they are not alone. She also makes the front of the Daily Mail and the Times. Even the staunchly republican Guardian has to swallow its pride and prominently feature a royal achieving something.
The papers that shy away from Zara? The Daily Star fills its attractive blonde quota with Bianca Gascoigne, the Daily Mirror features Peaches Geldof, and of course the front page of the Daily Express is only big enough for one posh attractive blonde - Diana.
Only the front pages of the Independent and the Financial Times are free of attractive blondes. Phew.
The now-obligatory poster front on the Indy proclaims the saving of 16 threatened bird species from extinction. Readers can enjoy their bank holiday safe in the knowledge that the Pale-headed brush finch is doing OK.
Over in the Financial Times, there is a picture story on Construction Jihad, the extraordinarily named civil engineering wing of Hezbollah.
And in the Mail, page 13's lead poses the burning question of the day: "Could my dog find me a man?" Puppy dating is the latest thing, apparently, with celebs like Ben Fogle and Davina McCall finding their other halves thanks to canine collisions.
Ah, August bank holiday, the pinnacle of the silly season, and Paper Monitor sees everything is well.