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Why are you shouting?

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Zibaxa Zibaxa | 13:30 UK time, Thursday, 9 August 2012

There is a girl at our home whom I see every morning. She seems very kind. Every morning she smiles to me and says "Good morning, have a nice day" with her pleasant voice and shes' name is Sona. I know her apartment. Sometimes I listen sound of music from there. Sona listens to jazz, classical music. She is not from Yerevan, she came here to study from Kotayks' region. Sona lives with her grandma. Her grandma is the kindest women in the world. She cooks, goes to supermarket and does all home work so Sona just need to study and hasn't any other worries.

One day I was coming home from work and listened very noisy shouting. I decided to went and saw who was shouting and why. I went to the voice and there were opened door, I knocked but nobody listened to me, as there was shouting. At least I entered
I was surprised! Sona was shouting on her grandma. An old, poor woman was in way to cry and tears was going to calm down from her eyes. I couldn't believe. She saw me and say "Hello" I started to become clear why I'm standing there. I said that I heard the shouting and decided to help. Then she said "Ok, it is good that you are here, help us, help me to make my stupid grandma understood that I havn't tome to go to the shopping center with her" then she turned out and went to her room and closed the door with shout. I gave the glass of water to the grandma and asked her to go out for walking. She accepted my offer. When she took my hand I felt that she was vibrating. We went for a walk, about half an hour she was silence, then she started to talk. She tell me that she saw a new, beautiful dress in the shop center, and for a first time she asked Sona to go with her, as she want to know if the dress fits well...

Grandma

After that day I don' want to see Sona in mornings. I don't understand why is it so hard to go with her grandma. And what does it mean "stupid grandma"? She is an old women. I think we must take care for our grandmas, grandfathers, one day we all will be grandmas and grandfathers... Isn't it good and pleasure when grandma cares about you. For sure it is! And Sona needs to understand this, and all of us needs to understand this. We must be careful to others, especially when they are old. And I understand one more thing. You can be very beautiful, very kind but it can vanish on one second. For me Sonas' kindness and beauty ends on one second.

Is it hard to speak in a normal voice, to say good words and to be quiet?
My lovely actress Audrey Hepburn said "For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people....".

It is not hard, just try, try now to say a good word to your friend, family or to men who is near, try to smile. Try and you'll see it is easy and it helps to live. I know for sure it lift your mood too.

Thank you for reading this post.
I'm Zibaxa and I'm sending a lot of smile to you :) and wherever you are "Good morning, afternoon, evening or night".
Have a good day!!!

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    Thanks Zibaxa for this nice and useful post . in Islam , a saying is said by prophet Mohamed ( the strongest isn't by killing but who can control himself during irritation )
    It requires a hard talent to calm .

  • Comment number 2.

    Very nice post, this one like so the others! I couldn't be closer to your point of view, expecially in this moment, when I'm seeing my grandparents becoming older and weaker and I'm becoming aware of the important role they had and still have in my life. Everyone should understand it

  • Comment number 3.

    Hello Zibaxa,

    Thank you very much for this wise post. Your wise message is actually addressed to youth on how to behave towards their parents and grand-parents. One tends to forget about the care he/she has received from his/her parents and grand-parents when he/she was a baby, a child, and an adolescent. An adult sometimes forgets that he/she has passed through a series of stages, in which he/she needed a lot of care, before reaching adulthood.

    s you wisely said it, we should take care of our parents and grand-parents. We should love and respect them for all the care they have provided us when we were weaker and in need of their help.

    All the best,

    Elmansour

  • Comment number 4.

    Dear abdallah

    Yes! Islam says is right. But I'm not talking about controling yourself. I want to say that you must not be angry with your grandma, because she is older, we must learn to respect peoples who older then we.
    Thank you for your comment.
    Best regards
    Zibaxa

  • Comment number 5.

    Dear denna

    Thank you for reading my post. Thank you for you opinion. It is very good that you have grandma, and you can hug her, and say about your love :)

    Best wishes
    Zibaxa

  • Comment number 6.

    Dear Elmansour

    Your comment reminded me about one story. There is a story in Armenian about grandparents. I hope that I can translate it in a right way.

    Once upon a time there is a little boy, he has family. He lives with his grandfather, mother and father. Once, when they had dinner, the boy noticed that grandfather had lunch far from their table and in the wooden plate (here it means plate for poor people and not so comfortable plate for eating). He asked to parents "Why grandfa has dinner out from the table?" they replied that he is old, and he splash(dabble) during eating", boy said "ok". After dinner parents saw the boy making something withe a place of wood, they asked what is he doing and he answered "'m making a wood plate for you, soon you will old".
    I think this is a good story to think about. And what is interesting, this story is for 10 years old puiples in Armenia.

    Thank you for your comment. Hope you like the story.
    Have a good day
    Zibaxa

  • Comment number 7.

    Dear Zibaxa, and All,

    Thank you for the wise story. It shows that children will become parents and parents themselves will grow older and become grand-parents. So what you do for your parents, your children will do for you. So take care of your parents and your descendants will take care of you.

    The Holy Qoran has recommended to take care of the parents. Here after is the translation of the 23d and 24th verses of the Night Journey:
    "Your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him, and that you be good to your parents. If either of them or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them a word of disrespect, nor scold them, but say to them kind words.

    24. And lower to them the wing of humility, out of mercy, and say, “My Lord, have mercy on them, as they raised me when I was a child.”

    Not only Islam but all confessions pay respect to parents.

    All the best.

    Elmansour

  • Comment number 8.

    Hello Zibaxa, I think we all should be respectful to elders even if they are our grandparents or others. You said it right one day we also have to reach that age when we will be frail, weak and their will be youth no more at that time of age.

    Best,

    Naheed

  • Comment number 9.

    Hello Zibaxa,

    it is sad to read that your neighbour Sona is misbehaving towards her grandmother. We all need to respect everyone of us and be forgiving. Young people don't usually understand what they are saying and lost their temper easely. It is a part of growing up.

    To growing up to a responsible person we all need to do our mistakes. Some people do more mistakes than others and some people learn more easely than others. It is important that you still smile at Sona and be kind to her. You can be the adult one and I think that Sona is a good person too. She might be young and behave badly, but we all have atleast two different sides, the good one and the bad one. Maybe it was only a bad day for Sona. That's why we must not so easely judge anyone.

    By the way Zibaxa. I think that you are a really good writer. You can express your feelings well in English. I think that it is easier to women to express their feelings. It is more difficult for men. Atleast it doesn't come so naturally when a man is writing and tries to express his feelings.

    Well, that's all for now.

    Regards

    - Ompputhecat -

  • Comment number 10.

    Dear Zibaxa, and All,

    The Armenian story about the wooden plate and the grand-parents reminds me of a popular story my grand-mother used to tell me when I was a child. My story has the same denouement as yours.

    This is the story of my grand-mother: “In the far past there was a village in a rural area in which old people, no longer needed for work, were were killed by throwing over a cliff . This was the rule agreed on by all the citizens of the village. Any citizen who has an old father or mother should get rid of him/her this way. Then came the turn of a man to take his father to the cliff. When they arrived on the spot, the old person started to laugh his head off. His son asked him why he is laughing instead of crying or being afraid of death. He answered that it is because of what he has done many years ago. He himself had thrown his father from this cliff and didn’t know that his turn would come one day. What he did for his father his son is doing to him now. The son then realized that his turn would also come one day later on. So instead of killing his father by throwing him down the cliff, he kept him alive and took care of him out of sight. He hided him in a place where nobody could see him and told his community that he had killed him.

    It happened after many years that a severe drought held sway on the region. People were short of food. Many died from hunger. Then there was rain. People wanted to plough their fields. But no grains were left as seeds. All the harvests of the previous years were consumed. There was no way out of this situation. When our man visited his old father, he didn’t speak to him in a cheerful way as usual. The old man asked his son about the causes of his sadness and the latter told him that he had no seeds to sow this year in his fields. His father told him: “Go to the granary even if it is empty, wipe all the soil from it and also take the remains of the straw and sow them. There must be some grains left in this soil and straw that would grow in your field. Even if he didn’t believe in his father’s advice, the man did what he said to him. He ploughed his field and sowed the soil and straw. People laughed at him and said he had become crazy. To his surprise and to that of all the villagers, ears of wheat and barley grew in his field and not in any other field and the harvest was very good.

    The villagers asked the man about the secret of his good crops and he told them that it was his father’s advice. He apologised for not killing his old father according to the rule. But they all realised that the old man was helpful for his son with his ideas and advice. So they all decided to stop throwing their old folks over the cliff. They may be useful alive rather than dead.”

    I’m sorry for the length of the story, but I think you can find it of some use even if it comes from a different culture. It's from Morocco.

    All the best.

    Elmansour

  • Comment number 11.

    Think you for your good writen post , i am so enjoyed by reading it .

  • Comment number 12.

    Thank you for your post.This is a very sad story but we should talk about things like that

  • Comment number 13.

    Hi Zibaxa,

    I have got same ideas as yours, our technology and living are well developed and modernized, however our ethics of some one is not well balanced or even worse. Old persons need to be taken care due to their decreasing efficiency, everbody will grow up and be kids finally.

    Jow

  • Comment number 14.

    very nice

  • Comment number 15.

    Hello Zibaxa
    I can’t come into my neighbor’s apartment in a similar situation, even to offer a help. It could be misappreciated. Our cultures are different in this. Relations between neighbors often are more formal, particularly in big cities. And care about the oldest generation frequently more formal. Often it comes down to monthly visits and money supporting.
    As for me the best care about the oldest is give them an opportunity to feel possibility to work and live like young, to be more needful for others and to show them a perspective of life. A lot of them look to ground to their feet, see only this day’s perspective and think how to survive the next one. If you say to old man about his age in negative and told him how he needs in special tendance you make him older.
    Victor.

  • Comment number 16.

    Hello Zibaxa

    first of all thanks for this post it shows you are very nice girl, I hope you continue posting on BBC . I just have a small advertise to you if you accept. please give that girl which you talked about her in your post the time of day and try to talk with her maybe this will be more affect on her than to avoid her . I would like you realize that you encourage me to writing post too.

    I'm Rewan B.Mirany for Kurdistan region

  • Comment number 17.

    Dear Zibaxa,

    No doubt to say you are very good person – for choosing this kind of heart touching post.

    Thank you very much from bottom of my heart. Actually we, most of the people when are in young age forgot the past and future - just keep ourselves busy with present. When we are advised, we think they(parents & grandparents) backdated.

    The experience you have shared is happing every now and then, here and there.

    I agree with you, we should not forgot the truth we will also be grandfather, grandmother and obviously we will be treated like our grandfather, grandmother.

    You have share the perfect story while replying @ Elmansour – here in Bangladesh, my country, there is an advertisement – kid realizing his mother and father is preparing to send it’s grandfather and grandmother to “Nursing Home”. It asked where you are taking them? Parents, “Nursing Home” then it’s replied – I will also send you to “Nursing Home” when you become old.

    Lastly I wanted to say we should not do anything with anyone what we don’t except from others.

    Thank you for the time to read.

  • Comment number 18.

    hi every one,
    Zibaxa your post is to cool. its big big problem of our soicety. if we can't recpect our seniors we can't succeed.
    its my firs post at there.

    its Bilal Kath, from Karachi, Pakistan

  • Comment number 19.

    Hi Zibaxa and all friends

    This topic is so resonant that it makes people from different cultures give responses. I've been thinking of it for a few days and recollecting the Japanese film “The ballad of Narayama”. It was shot in 1983 so probably the young haven’t heard of it. There is a devoted son who must take his mother to the mountain and leave her alone there because she got old. He doesn’t want to do it for he loves her but he has to surrender to custom.

    Regards,
    Tatiana

  • Comment number 20.

    Hello Naheed
    Thak you for visiting my blog and thank you for your opinion. I agree with you. Hope we can change something in people like Sona

  • Comment number 21.

    Dear Ompputhecat
    Thank you for reading my post. I'm sure that every one is a good person, he/she just need to open her/his good side. I think every one of us has some bad charachters, but we have brain to work on our mistakes and to change our charachter. We can change ourselfes and that will be our change in the world
    Best reagrds
    Zibaxa

  • Comment number 22.

    Dear Elmansour
    Thank you very much for your interesting story. Great story i think!!! Your story made my not more interesting :)
    I think everyone need to think about this story. It is very important when we understand our parents role in our lifes. I will give this story to Sona.
    Thank you again
    Have a good day
    Zibaxa

  • Comment number 23.

    Hello dear KHARTA, afanta and arshad

    Thank you!!! It is very pleasure for me that you read an liked my topic.

    Best regards
    Zibaxa

  • Comment number 24.

    Hello Jow SingSing

    I agree with you, in now days technology and living are well developed but parents still imoprtant. We should stop a moment and take care about them. I'm sure one day our children will do the same to us.
    Thank you, your opinion is very important for me
    Zibaxa

  • Comment number 25.

    Dear Victor_Petrovsky

    I thought you are from Russia and maybe you tald about Moscow. I've been in Moscow, I'm sure our cultre is different but it doesn't mean that we should forget obout parents and about grandparents. I agree with you. Every day, every moment I'm trying to show my grandma my love and her importance in my life and in the world. Due to that my grandma feels young and happy.

    Thank you for you interesting comment
    Zibaxa

  • Comment number 26.

    Dear Rawano

    I thought about your comment. Really deep idea! Maybe we should give others chanse to change and help them to change their bad habbits. Maybe it is a bit my fault that I didn't gave her chanse and never talk with her about things like discipline... I talked with her and she knows about my post here, she promissed to read this post, comments, think about and then we will talk with each other (me, her grandma and she). Maybe this is the right way and she can change herself.

    Thank you for your comment.
    Zibaxa

  • Comment number 27.

    Dear Majumder

    I agree with you. Thank you for reading my topic anc for your comment. I think in Bangaldesh people respect their parents because it is a country of encient culture.

  • Comment number 28.

    Dear Bilal Kath from Pakistan

    You are welcome!!!
    Thank you for your comment.

  • Comment number 29.

    Dear Tatiana

    I'm going to watch that movie. Thank you for your omment. Movie seems interesting.

    Best reagrds
    Zibaxa

  • Comment number 30.

    hi zibaxa!
    Ur shouting story shouts to the yuth of present time to be agree that one day they will also be old as their grand. And if u behave rude with your grand you will also be treated as you will do to your grand. And it happens for sure. So, we must respect our elders neatly.

    Zibaxa i love your one piece of writing and that is what Audry Hepbrum said to you. I use it sometimes with my friends though my mothertongue is Bengali.
    Thank you for your lovely shouting story... Many many thanks and good wishes for eid-ul-fitar in advance...
    From India, Walid

  • Comment number 31.

    Dear walid

    Thank you for visiting my blog and for your lovely comment. I know that India is country of traditions and you appreciate highly youth attitude t grands. I think we have to learn from India!

    Best regards
    Zibaxa

  • Comment number 32.

    Congratulation for your post, Zibaxa! I believe that the world needs this kind of ideas to be a better world with better people. Good afternoon for you! From Brazil, Emerson.

  • Comment number 33.

    I appreciate what zibaxa has done and of course I am sorry for Sona to treat badly to her grandma. each person deserves a good treatment by others particularly older people as well our grandmas and grandpas. so please everybody be gentle to people whom they always have caren about you
    good night to everyone

  • Comment number 34.

    Dear Emerson

    Thank you very much for your comment. Maybe some day I will become a writer :)))

    Best regards
    Zibaxa

  • Comment number 35.

    Good time of day cameli20

    Thank you for reading my post. I agree with you and I like your msg to all people.

    Best whishe
    Zibaxa

  • Comment number 36.

    Hi! Zibaxa. I'm from VIETNAM.
    Thank you for your post.
    My grandma is 70 year old. And I had shouted to her. I think it was a serious fail in my life.No words can defend.
    I love her more than anyone. I don't know how she had spent her hard life in The Vietnam war. No money, no husband... but she have three childrens.
    I think no anything can offset her abnegation.
    All everyone have grandmas who have sacrificed to care, to protect our family.
    We must be kind to our grandmas.
    We must take care for our grandmas.

  • Comment number 37.

    One day we will have been grandma or grandfather. So we should think. It is our duty to take care our father, mother, grandma and grandfather.

  • Comment number 38.

    We all try our best to prove that we are successful people in plublic places, but we don't take enough care of our beloved.
    I think it's time for us to calm down and think of what is really important and how to balance our life.

  • Comment number 39.

    Hi, Zibaxa! I have a question to you. Have you ever shared a flat with a grand for more than a year? I'm not going to justify Sona,and you are right, saying we must take care, we must control ourselves, etc. Of course!
    Every day my granny makes some impossible things and I try to keep calm, but then I feel I can't stand it any more, I hit the ceiling and we have some kind of quarrell. Yes, in a few minutes I upbrain myself for doing this, but, really...
    Wish everybody lived separate with other generations.

  • Comment number 40.

    Dear Tuan Ngo

    Thank you for sharing your experiance with us. I hope now you aren't shouting to your grandma, take care for her. All our grandmas has a few years for live... so let them be happy and make them happy :)

    Best regards
    Zibaxa

  • Comment number 41.

    Dear Nguyenthai

    I absalutaely agree with you. THANKS!!!!!!

    Zibaxa

  • Comment number 42.

    Dear Olga

    I'm living with my paretns, 3 sisters and 2 grandmas. I think this is well enough experianse. I have never shout on my grandmas, and I will never do.
    If you feel angry with grandma, stop your feelings and try to count to 100. You will understand that mostly you like her and dont like shout.

    Hope I explain well

    Zibaxa

  • Comment number 43.

    HI,

    you select very nice topic.indeed this is keen importance in new generation. Anywhere in the world we should respect elderly people.

 

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