Look Away Now - Adrian Chiles explains ITV's goal gaffe
The England team say they were delighted by last week's visit to a big-game safari. They saw a giraffe and an elephant and Wayne Rooney shot Peter Crouch.
Fabio Capello has refuted Franz Beckenbauer's claim that England have returned to the bad old days of kick and rush. Capello insists that his system is entirely different - it's kick and rush and fumble into the back of your own net.
Stuart Pearce has leapt to the defence of Fabio Capello, by pointing out that in the USA match, apart from picking the wrong goalkeeper, and a striker who can't score goals, and a central defender who's permanently injured and then replacing him with one who's too slow, and a left-winger who's out of his depth and then replacing him with one who's abysmal, Capello got all the big decisions right.
The BBC is considering whether to show a red button version of the World Cup without the constant, annoying drone. Or they may simply stop employing Mick McCarthy.
ITV has claimed that cutting away to a Hyundai advert just before Steven Gerrard's goal was not in fact a mistake but a deliberate ploy based on the principal "A watched pot never boils".
Listen to Adrian Chiles explain the gaffe in this preview clip from tonight's Look Away Now:
Topical sports comedy show Look Away Now continues on Thursdays at 6.30pm on Radio 4. If you miss it, don't worry - you can download it as a podcast.
Headlines by the Look Away Now writing team. Illustration by Dipak Patel.