The Commentator's Exhibition Matches - No More Women
Normally I'm not allowed to to be 'in shot' on this sort of thing. Mark and Tim do allow my voice to feature in the commentary
of No More Women but a long time ago we all agreed it'd probably be best if the two of them provided the eye candy. They are both lovely looking men.
But with the series tantalisingly poised at three games all it was time for me to break rank and play the bloody game myself. Yes there WILL be one dramatic showdown (played, as all dramatic showdowns should be, in the Blue Peter Garden. In the snow) but first I needed to see firsthand how the players played. How could I commentate on the ultimate contest if I hadn't yet dipped at least one of my many many toes in the tepid but treacherous waters of the game itself.
So this is me playing Mark. We're in a BBC Cafe where you can get a good breakfast for less than three pounds. I'd just eaten mine so was feeling great.
With the benefit of hindsight, having watched the game back myself several times now, I have to say that I have mixed feelings about my performance.I'm pleased with certain aspects; the beard looks exceptional on camera, for instance. And how composed was I in the early moments? (answer: fairly)
But then I really seemed to disintegrate. I don't know quite why. Maybe the occasion got to me. Maybe I got a bad sausage. But my concentration went and with it any sort of decent facial expressions. I mean I was really disappointed by my face when it breaks into giggles. Must be more dignified. Also, the number of times I turned to Tim for reassurance. Pathetic. It was, however, truly awesome to see Mark at work close up. Amazing powers of concentration. Bewildering tactics. And so much twitching. We got on pretty well before this encounter. But I think this has brought us even closer together. Wonderful stuff.
By the way, you may also notice me commentating on myself. Rarely does this happen in sport. In 20 20 cricket the players are sometimes interviewed during it but that's not the same. So this really is quite something. So there you go. If you like somethings this is a really quite one. Enjoy.