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Welcome to Ashen's Tech Dump

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David Thair | 13:20 UK time, Thursday, 28 January 2010

Stuart Ashen, aka Dr Ashen aka ashens, has been entertaining the internets for years. A few of my personal favourites from his many, many works include:
In recent years he is possibly best known, on YouTube at least, for his reviews of terrible gadgets. And where do these awful bits of tat end up? With us, of course! In...

Ashen's Tech Dump

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Watch another episode right now on our YouTube Channel - there'll be another episode next week.

The Making of Ashen's Tech Dump

A diary by Stuart Ashen.

6:30am Woke up to sound of local DJ being incompetent. Ate 17 Shredded Wheat. Checked the battery on my iPhone 3GS charged overnight - battery at 100%, all OK.

6:50am Left house for walk to Norwich train station. iPhone battery at 73%.

7:30am Arrived at station. Caught train to London. Sat next to a quivering tramp with consumption.

Norwich railway station7:35am Checked e-mails.

7:37am iPhone battery dead.

7:38am Attempted to charge iPhone using external USB battery I got from Ebay.

7:39am Put out fire.

7:47am Fell asleep.

9:02am Woke up with a line of snot extending from my nose to my trousers. Everyone in the carriage staring at me.

67:C9im Temporarily forgot how human reckoning of time works.

9:26am Arrived at Liverpool Street Station.

CONTINUE READING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED NEXT


Liverpool Street9:32am Checked price of a ham sandwich in one of the station's many food outlets.

9:57am Regained consciousness.

10:02am Got on London Underground, Central Line.

10:19am Was recognised by an eager fan who engages me in conversation.
 
10:23am  Realised that fan thinks I'm Simon Pegg.

10:35am  Arrived at studio for filming.

A shack10:45am  Joined forces with a group of immensely talented people and crafted a short comedy show of such immense quality that the personification of glory itself physically manifested in the car park to weep at its beauty.

2:00pm  Lunch.

2:25pm  Continued to produce a short comedy show so good that fictional characters willed themselves into existence just so they could watch it.

Stuart's close-upPhoto credit: George Whittaker

5:48pm
Left studio and took tube back to Liverpool St. The personification of glory had been clamped.

6:22pm
Arrived at station to discover that all trains to Norwich were cancelled due to vandalism at Colchester.

6:23pm Panicked.

6:25pm Took deep breaths.

6:26pm Panicked some more.

6:35pm Discovered that there is one emergency train back to Norwich. Ran for it along with several hundred other people.

An angry mob... and a potato.6:40pm Train left station absolutely packed with people. Not even standing room left - several of us had to sit on the ceiling.

8:32pm
Arrived back at Norwich.  Queue for taxi rank longer than the Great Wall of China.  Started walking.

9:10pm Got home to discover 3 different "You were out when we tried to deliver this parcel" cards. Fell asleep on the stairs.

Look out for more Tech Dump next week.

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