Tim Key on No More Women, Distraction and Cheating Techniques
My name is Tim Key. I am an ageing shambles. Awful. In this game of No More Women (the phenomenon that's sweeping the internet) I play against Mark Watson. He is a frail man in his twenties who hosts We Need Answers (the phenomenon that's sweeping BBC Four). He is an experienced NMW head and a tough man to beat, which makes my eventual dramatic victory all the more satisfying.
In this rubber I won the toss (by cheating) and "gave Mark the honour". I'm gradually learning more about his game and I find - as a rule - he is a reactive player. He likes it coming onto the bat. Once I'd made him name the first celeb I felt he looked nervy. I don't think he really recovered. He kept on saying things like "Geoff Thomas" and scratching his chin.
In terms of our clothing. I was clad in my red jumper for this one (I have ten jumpers) and Mark was wearing a tracksuit top (bought). I think the fact that I looked more like an uncle helped me in the middle section. Mark didn't quite know what to make of me as I (a) wore that and (b) played fast and loose with my categories.
Don't want to spoil it but the end of this one is extraordinary. No matter how many times I watch it I think I'm going to lose and then - somehow - and I don't want to spoil it - I win. Mark - usually so composed; unshaven - is reduced to a Norris Boy figure. After the match we went to a pub in a supermarket and analysed the game and Mark was inconsolable. Alex came too and kept drinking loads of Baileys.
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Tim is one of the presenters of We Need Answers. He is trying to sell a book at the moment. His old man is a keen rower, even in his retirement.