Review of the week
Perhaps the most surprising story that surfaced this week was the news that JT is up for a Man of the Year award.
I've got nothing against Justin Timberlake, but "one of pop culture's most influential entertainers"? Do me a favour.
Meanwhile, reigning Dad of the Year John Terry was, as some of you may be aware by now, at the centre of a media storm following allegations about his private life - which is anything but private now.
My favourite line so far came in The Sun, who spotted Terry popping out for a takeaway - or, in their own inimitable words, 'spent the night with a tasty Thai'. The paper reported that the "grim-faced star....tried to keep a low profile, wearing a hoodie and his Chelsea tracksuit bottoms". As cunning disguises go, it's hardly the Scarlet Pimpernel.
Fabio Capello and John Terry
To complete a miserable few days, Terry was stripped of the England captaincy when he met Fabio Capello, as the ghosts of England's past came out of the woodwork to give their views on the subject.
It felt quite strange to open the paper and see a picture of Mick Mills (or Kim Slim as he's known to exponents of back slang) staring back at me. The last time I clapped eyes on the moustachioed defender was when I was unsuccessfully attempting to complete my Panini '85 sticker album. Anyone out there got Trevor Hebberd?
Terry, typically, scored the winner against Burnley but his Chelsea side missed the chance to open up a four-point gap at the top when they were surprisingly held by Hull City.
The point took Hull six clear of poor old Portsmouth, who are on their fourth owner in a year - mirroring the number of bosses QPR have had in the dugout since August. As one cheeky blogger observed, my lot are having their very own manager-of-the-month competition.
The transfer window saw more ins-and-outs at Loftus Road than a confused cuckoo clock, leading my esteemed colleague David McIntyre to observe on Twitter: "If you wasted money on a player and want some back. If no-one else is daft enough to help and if you can find them...maybe you can hire QPR."
All in all, transfer deadline day proved to be a bit of a wet blanket, with Robbie Keane's switch from Spurs to Celtic the highlight. The move prompted a string of jokes, presumably originating from Rangers fans, including: "Robbie Keane signed for Celtic on loan for the rest of their season. He went home this morning."
The Republic of Ireland striker told fans: "I've been a Celtic fan for years...I've dreamed of this moment," 19 months after arriving at Anfield with the words: "I am a Liverpool fan. Joining Liverpool is a lifelong dream."
My personal highlight of transfer deadline day was the live text commentary from old mucker Stevo, who at 1416 confessed: "I'm getting a severe sense of deja vu from September now: Egyptian club ENPPI have turned down another offer from Sunderland for winger Ahmed Al-Muhammadi, according to the player's agent. Maybe they're in de-nile..."
He clearly Sphinx he's a comedian that boy.
Sadly, Stevo's prayers for a new Nottingham Forest left-back were not answered, although boss Billy Davies was more concerned with the right whack he allegedly took from Derby counterpart Nigel Clough at the conclusion of a fiery East Midlands contest. I'm at pains to point out (especially given the current climate) that it's a claim Clough vehemently denies.
Elsewhere in the transfer window, Robinho celebrated his move back home by rapping to the delirious Santos fans. On the face of it, it seemed a good deal all round, although City fan Chris Atkinson was not best pleased.
The 25-year-old has Robinho's name tattooed on his chest, just above the Kaka inking he had when it looked certain the Brazilian would be coming to Eastlands. "I can't believe this has happened again. I'm gutted," groaned Chris, who might be advised to stick to the traditional 'mum and dad' in future.
He would doubtless have had the full sympathy of fellow City fan 'Bluffing' who produced the lament of the week on the Blue Vibe fansite in the wake of the Carling Cup defeat by Man Utd.
He wrote: "You wonder whether it's actually worth all the grief that goes with supporting a football team. Just think of all those perfectly happy folk who like, say, opera or the theatre and never have to spend days worrying about whether Hamlet will be a good play or Tosca will be a good tune and never go home so dejected having watched the cast balls it up. And people who like dogs or fish or riding horses and stuff like that."
City's tormentor-in-chief Wayne Rooney was at it again, following up his hat-trick against Hull with his 100th Premier League goal in United's 3-1 whipping of Arsenal.
Sir Alex Ferguson, ignoring the revelation that Rooney had already bought son Kai his first Everton kit, purred about his striker being world-class, while jokingly instructing the Gunners to "batter Chelsea" this weekend.
Sir Alex Ferguson with hairdressing students at his old school
United's recent good run has seen Fergie at his jovial best, but he was on the wrong end of the hairdryer treatment when he met up with a group of girls at his old school in Glasgow. He resisted the temptation to have a shampoo and set, but has apparently booked Michael Owen to have some streaks put in. It's the only highlights the striker's likely to get between now and May.
Down the road at Burnley, Brian Laws was compared himself to Simon Cowell following his efforts to bring in new blood. He said: "It's been like a revolving door - players coming in, coming out, having a chat. Next! But I've been giving them a little bit more time than Simon Cowell would have." And if he doesn't get a win under his belt soon, Laws could soon be gaining first-hand experience of the ex-factor.
In the FA Cup, Notts County pulled off the shock of the round at Wigan, while Elland Road was rocking as Leeds' fine run finally came to an end against Spurs. But quote of the week went to Crystal Palace boss Neil Warnock after his charges thumped Wolves 3-1 - "The sandwiches were fantastic today - all the lads made a comment because they didn't think they were going to get any!"
Joke of the week came from Blackpool boss Ian Holloway after Brett Ormerod objected to his sending-off at Coventry, claiming he hadn't touched anyone. Holloway told the press: "A boxer sits on his stool between rounds and his trainer says, 'He isn't laying a glove on you'. The boxer replies: 'You better watch the ref then, because somebody's hitting me.'"
Right that's it for now. Have a good weekend one and all. I'll be in my armchair listening for news from Peterborough, who sacked Mark Cooper after 79 days at the helm (practically a lifetime at QPR).
He was replaced by Jim Gannon, who when at Stockport famously refused to speak to Sky ahead of County's play-off final appearance until they sorted out the problems with his digibox. Gotta love him for that and I hope he does well at the Posh, starting first thing Sunday morning.