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Quotes of the week

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Chris Charles | 11:38 UK time, Tuesday, 26 January 2010

Welcome to this week's Quotes of the Week. If you have any quotes, chants, stadium announcements of your own then please add them to the bottom of the blog or use this email postform.

By the way, we are not allowed to asterisked swearwords any more so you may spot a couple of instances where I have swapped the offending word for another one in brackets.

"My celebration was directed at Gary Neville. He acted like a complete sock-sucker (boot-licker) when he said I wasn't worth £25m, just to suck up to the manager."
Carlos Tevez puts the boot into his old team-mate after scoring both goals for Manchester City in their League Cup semi-final first leg win over rivals United.

"My team-mates were asking what I thought. And I wondered to myself: what's the moron talking about me for when I never said anything about him, when there was never any (issue) with us."
Tevez again - just in case Neville hadn't got the message.

"If I lose control of these multi-millionaires in the Manchester United dressing room then I'm dead. So I never lose control. If anyone steps out of my control, that's them dead!"
Sir Alex Ferguson deadpans during a lecture to students at Dublin's Trinity College.

"This football club is, without doubt, going to be the biggest and best football club in the world."
Manchester City chief executive Garry Cook puts absolutely no pressure on the team with his boast at a New York bar.

"Oh please...I go to sleep, that's why I wear sunglasses. Sitting there waiting 'til it's over..."
The Williams sisters' mischievous mum Oracene Price when asked whether she enjoys watching tennis.
The Williams sisters' mum, Oracene The Williams sisters' mum, Oracene, takes a breather
"I don't drink really. I don't drink so much because, you see, I'm skinny. I mix only. Sometimes I drink clear vodka, sometimes mixed with Red Bull. Little bit get power in night club or disco. Because if I drink only vodka I go sleep straight."
Nikolay Davydenko on his drinking habits - sounding like he'd already had a couple.

"I've done it before and I'll probably do it again tonight. There's probably about 24 a day. I don't do all of them - but it's intense."
New dad Roger Federer on the intensity of nappy changing.

"How appropriate that it's Valentine's, because there's no love lost on either side!"
Southampton legend Matt Le Tissier after Saints drew Portsmouth in the FA Cup fifth round, to be played on Valentine's weekend.

"I've spoken more to Fernando now than in three years with Kimi. Perhaps this
is not difficult because Kimi, of course, did not like to speak much. But I also
worked extremely well with Kimi, even without speaking."
Felipe Massa dismisses concerns over his relationship with new Ferrari team-mate Fernando Alonso, who replaced Kimi Raikkonen.

"It make no commercial sense...we must be mad."
David Sullivan after he and David Gold bought West Ham.

"You have to say I'm certifiable, potty."
Gold concurs.

"We plan to be here forever, 'til we die - and we hope that is a long time
off. We are here to the end. We have not come here to hopefully bang it out to
some Russian in five years time."
But Sullivan insists they are in it for the long haul.

"I'll probably sit up at home tonight reading the rule book for a couple of
hours and see what the rules actually are. Neither the referee nor the linesman
seemed to know - they probably phoned a friend."
Tottenham boss Harry Redknapp is baffled after Jermain Defoe has a goal ruled out against Liverpool.

"Not in my wildest dreams did I believe the score would end up 6-4. It was
6-4, wasn't it?"
Aston Villa boss Martin O'Neill after the 10-goal thriller in the Carling Cup semi-final second leg with Blackburn.



AND SOME FROM YOU

"Well Col U fans were correct, there is only one Robbie Cowling. The Norwich fans were correct, he is a bit of a (so-and-so) at times and as for 'Cowling, Cowling what's the score?' It's 7-6 to the mighty Colchester."
Colchester United chairman Robbie Cowling on the club's website following the Norwich game in which he mentioned the 'banter' from fans.
(Simon Wilding, UK) That's 7-6 on aggregate by the way. Colchester beat Norwich 7-1 and then lost the return 5-0 - Ed.
"1406: Half-time at the Falkirk Stadium: Falkirk 0-2 Falkirk."
BBC SPL live commentary of the Falkirk-Dundee Utd game.
(Greig Cunningham, Scotland)

"... and Deco is caught dribbling on the edge of his area. But Chelsea mop it up and break away...."
Heard on Radio 5 live commentary during Preston v Chelsea.
(Mike Angove, Wales)
Matthew Broderick as Inspector GadgetGo, Gadget, Go!
"You would have to be Inspector Gadget to get that back."
Commentators during the Murray-Isner Australian Open match in the first set, following Isner's monster first serve.
(Andy Logan, Sydney)

"It's a great sight sometimes when Jenas opens his legs like that, isn't it?"
Setanta's Curtis Fleming commentating on Spurs v Leeds in the FA Cup.
(Peter Dillon, Ireland)

"Rooney's four-goal haul extends his lead in the Premier League's top-scorer stakes. He now has 19 league goals, four more than the next highest scorers, Darren Bent, Jermain Defoe and Didier Drogba, all with 14."
On www.manutd.com website.
(Andy Davey, England)

"Delfouneso hit the post with a rasping effort at the end of a fine individual 30-year run."
From the BBC Sport Website. Nathan's run was so long it was counted in years rather than yards!
(Ricky C, UK)

"They've got their tails between their teeth."
Tom Ross, BRMB, commentating on Aston Villa v Blackburn Rovers in the League Cup semi-final second leg.
(Tont, UK)

"I can't remember the last time I saw a game with 10 goals in it."
Gary Lineker after Villa beat Blackburn 6-4. Er, Tottenham v Wigan in November?
(Khan, Oldham)

"If we got a 5-4 result here we'll have a good one."
Gary Lineker BEFORE Aston Villa v Blackburn.
(Ben Thomas, UK)

"Our problem is that we were in complete control of the game and if anyone is going to score to make it 3-0 it's going to be us."
Sam Allardyce after the amazing Villa/Blackburn game - what, were BOTH sides winning 2-0, then?
(Jez Scott, Milton Keynes)

"Scott Parker and Mark Noble are suffering from the same groin strain."
Commentator on Sky Sports during West Ham v Aston Villa.
(Howie Hammerson, UK)

"The way I see it, Liverpool are in the position that they are because they aren't scoring enough goals."
Chris Kamara on Sky sports' Premier League World. Complicated stuff there, Chris!
(Marc Flannery, England)

"There is Rafael's twin brother Fabio warming up on the touchline. Jeduardo."
Guy Mowbray commentating on the Carling Cup Manchester derby.
(Alfie Langlands, UK)
David SullivanDavid Sullivan - and his jacket

"January is not the best time to buy players - you don't get many bargains in January - but the club has such an unbalanced squad, players will have to be bought, loaned or acquired."
West Ham's new owner David Sullivan has obviously not ruled out bringing back the press gang, or perhaps a version of conscription...(Paul Short, UK)

"Bruce wants Wigan's £7m-rated left-back Maynor Figueroa and is willing to sacrifice midfielder Kieran Richardson to land him."
From BBC Sport gossip column. Sounds like rather desperate measures...
(Azzi, England)

"Inverness played the game like a cup tie."
Craig Brown after Motherwell lost to Inverness Caley - in the Scottish Cup.
(skelly, UK)

"Hopefully, Lord willing, I can get back to 100 percent and get back to mashing people again."
Stacey Andrews, NFL Philadelphia Eagles.
(Churchill Huston)

"Saints fullback Kyle Eckel is being checked out on the sideline, looks like he might have a shoulder."
Fox commentator Kenny Albert during last week's NFL divisional playoffs. Might have a shoulder?
(Nicky Jackson)



CHANTS

"U-N-I-T-E-D
That spells (flipping) debt to me,
With a knick knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone,
Ocean Finance on the phone."
Man City fans chanting to United.
(John Meadows, England)

"We are invisible!"
Barnet fans at a foggy Christie Park, during the 2-1 defeat to Morecambe.
(Dan, Liverpool)
Rory Delap  Oh the irony...
"We only score from throw-ins!"
Stoke fans to Arsenal after the Potters scored two on the trot from crosses.
(Tom Lea, Cheshire)

"The fans are all chanting 'the referee is a Welshman'!"
Radio 5 live commentator during Stoke v Liverpool, as Liverpool were awarded a free-kick. That's not quite how the chant went!(Hayder Khan, Oldham)

"Can we play you every week?!"
Exeter fans after going 2-0 up at home to Leeds.
(Keiran, Exeter)

"Can we play Leeds every week?"
Exeter fans after going 2-1 down to Yeovil.
(Keiran, Exeter)

"Brian McDermott's Barmy Army!"
One Reading fan on his own.

And after no-one sang with him..
"You only sing when it's Coppell!"
At the Burnley game on Saturday.
(Josh, England)

"Are you Burnley in disguise?"
Heard at the Villa-Blackburn League Cup semi-final. Rovers led 2-0 at the time.
(Peter Gray, England)

"It's just like watching The Bill!"
Wigan fans leaving Molineux, amid a heavy police presence.
(Dan, Wigan)

"You only live round the corner!"
Morton fans to Celtic at Cappielow after many locals had decided to support Celtic and sit in the away stand.
(Matthew T, Scotland)

"I'd rather be an egg than a sausage!"
Chant at Woking FC.
(Luke Nelson, England)

"We've got more cash than you!"
Burnley fans to Manchester United.
(Sean, England)

"We want our Fergie time!"
Burnley fans on seeing the board indicate a minimum of three minutes added time at Old Trafford.
(Paul Cockayne, UK)

Comments

  • 1. At 12:31pm on 26 Jan 2010, Azy.Ninja wrote:

    First? Get in.

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  • 2. At 12:40pm on 26 Jan 2010, Chris Charles wrote:

    1. Azy. Ninja: Get in - yer janner!

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  • 3. At 12:44pm on 26 Jan 2010, Hey Mods Ngog Away wrote:

    1st the worst,
    2nd the best,
    3rd the king of all the rest!

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  • 4. At 12:54pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    Ahoy Chris.We need to establish some sort of code for the swearwords,which word do you think I have in mind if I said to you GNev?

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  • 5. At 12:59pm on 26 Jan 2010, Hey Mods Ngog Away wrote:

    What about an "Adebayor"?

    Or a "Bellamy"?

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  • 6. At 1:00pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    N'gog,my daughters say similar.Apparently 3rd's the one with the hairiest chest.I don't think Mrs. Jack took that one too kindly...

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  • 7. At 1:00pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    I know you're waiting for this one N'gog so I'll do it early....what about a "Keane"?

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  • 8. At 1:04pm on 26 Jan 2010, Rovers Return - HKR AWAY DAYS wrote:

    "U-N-I-T-E-D
    That spells (flipping) debt to me,
    With a knick knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone,
    Ocean Finance on the phone."

    Brilliant banter - looking forward to the second instalment of Tevez-gate!

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  • 9. At 1:04pm on 26 Jan 2010, Hey Mods Ngog Away wrote:

    Yeah Jacks, i didnt say it cos i knew you would want to!
    Also it could be cowboy in the west? But i dont have a hat........

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  • 10. At 1:05pm on 26 Jan 2010, Hey Mods Ngog Away wrote:

    Can anyone tell me why for about the last 12 - 18 months every incident in the media has GATE on the end? Never understood why?

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  • 11. At 1:05pm on 26 Jan 2010, ControlledMagic wrote:

    Yer Janner.....? Speak English man! :-)

    Whilst there's a bit of a United / City fest on, I'll repeat what I thought was a cracker at the premiership derby game in Sept; as a United fan I found it funny but this column didn't use it when I sent it in then. 5 mins to half time and the Stockport contingent start singing "time for your sandwiches" to that italian tune I can't remember the bllody name of!

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  • 12. At 1:07pm on 26 Jan 2010, ControlledMagic wrote:

    Ngoh - you serious?! If so, Watergate.

    My own opinion? Contrived, strained and very annoying phrase coinage which should be discouraged.

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  • 13. At 1:11pm on 26 Jan 2010, Hey Mods Ngog Away wrote:

    Contr....

    Ok i get the initial waterGATE but why everything else?

    I agree it is really annoying!!!!!!!

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  • 14. At 1:16pm on 26 Jan 2010, Chris Charles wrote:

    4. JacksinBuxton: I couldn't possibly comment!

    11. ControlledMagic: Now that is funny. Can't think why that slipped through the net.

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  • 15. At 1:17pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    If the break in/Nixon thing occured at a different hotel,would it be eg BloodRamada?IrancontraHilton?

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  • 16. At 1:18pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    Chris re 14..."You might think that....."I'd still like to know how you voted on Friday.Come on man,throw us a bone...

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  • 17. At 1:19pm on 26 Jan 2010, ControlledMagic wrote:

    Ngog - why everything else - I guess because they think it's clever and catchy. It's defo flaming catching! The earliest one I can remember is 'squidgy-gate' which was something to do with Princess Di. Obviously memorable!

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  • 18. At 1:21pm on 26 Jan 2010, Spitfire wrote:

    Well isnt it dandy.

    However it was, the fat, boot licking, sock sucking moron,(so-and-so), that tightened up the sphincter on the swear words even when they are diluted with special characters, I say, "Up yours. You (so-and-so)"

    Are you (so-and-so)ing happy now?

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  • 19. At 1:22pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    I'd like to hope that up in the north east where he lives a former Ipswich striker has a sign on his entrance to the garden with"Gatesgate" on it..

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  • 20. At 1:25pm on 26 Jan 2010, Hey Mods Ngog Away wrote:

    Jacks i was on similar lines - if Bill Gates gets assasigned or something!

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  • 21. At 1:31pm on 26 Jan 2010, Mightymojo wrote:

    Liverpool Fans to Harry Redknapp:

    "You're getting taxed in the morning!"

    Also a black mark for Anfield's DJ Georgie Sephton for chickening out of playing "Taxman" by the Beatles. I know he said he'd have got in trouble, but he'd also have been an even bigger legend forever.

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  • 22. At 1:34pm on 26 Jan 2010, Thom wrote:

    "...Kent Bockman, just outside the County Courtroom where an argument
    about chowder has spilled over into the biggest trial in
    Springfield history. Behind these doors, a federal judge will ladle
    out steaming bowls of rich, creamy justice in a case the media have
    dubbed `Beat-Up Waiter.' Pfff - this reporter suggested
    `Waitergate', but was shouted down at the press club."

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  • 23. At 1:34pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    N'gog,what about if Bill Gates and Gareth Gates got caught at something.."Gatesgatesgate"

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  • 24. At 1:37pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    The German centre forward gets in to trouble ..."Klosegate"

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  • 25. At 1:38pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    Jamaican sprint legend arrested...Boltgate

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  • 26. At 1:39pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    US golfer in trouble signs to play centre half for Spurs...Woodsgate

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  • 27. At 1:42pm on 26 Jan 2010, Hysteria1871 wrote:

    On your pre match preview it says for Sheffield United vs Reading 'Reading's last win at Brammal Lane since 1998' ermm we've won there 2003 (Twice), 2004, 2006, and 2008!

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  • 28. At 1:46pm on 26 Jan 2010, Lozza wrote:

    One of the commentators during Murray Nadal, in the second set "and if it does go to 5 sets they can go the distance such is the physical strength of these two guys" 4 games later nadal retires hurt. Classic commentators curse!

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  • 29. At 1:56pm on 26 Jan 2010, will thurston wrote:

    It goes back to the 1970's and political scandal where the then President Nixon got men to break into his political opponents center to gather infomation on them!! The center was called the "WATERGATE" complex. from then on it was known as the Watergate scandel. Thats why these days the press love to use it with anything scandelous, eg Bloodgate in rugby. Hope this clears it up

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  • 30. At 1:59pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    Chris,have a word with the IT chaps please,your page has gone Pete Tong.

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  • 31. At 2:12pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    It's all GNev's fault...

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  • 32. At 2:25pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    Back to normal.I take it someone found a shilling for the meter..

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  • 33. At 2:28pm on 26 Jan 2010, Rob K wrote:

    "Time for your sandwiches" would work quite well to Verdi's 'La donna è mobile' from Rigoletto.

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  • 34. At 2:36pm on 26 Jan 2010, pietrodelroberto wrote:

    Chris, not exactly a chant, but joke of the week...

    David Moyes, Alex Ferguson and Rafael Benitez go for a drink in a bar. After three pints Moyes says to the two of them, "Right, you two, clear off, it's the fourth round now"

    Circulated by Everton fans aplenty days before we're knocked out in the 4th Round by Birmingham City thanks to goals from... Christian Benitez and Barry Ferguson!!!

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  • 35. At 2:37pm on 26 Jan 2010, Mark Herrington wrote:

    Sir Alex Ferguson "The player behaviour has always been perfect. We have great players who play to the right rules of the game." Carling cup match preview.
    Hours later Manchester United defender Rio Ferdinand has been charged with violent conduct by the Football Association.

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  • 36. At 2:44pm on 26 Jan 2010, simon samm wrote:

    Chris, not exactly a chant, but joke of the week...

    David Moyes, Alex Ferguson and Rafael Benitez go for a drink in a bar. After three pints Moyes says to the two of them, "Right, you two, clear off, it's the fourth round now"

    Circulated by Everton fans aplenty days before we're knocked out in the 4th Round by Birmingham City thanks to goals from... Christian Benitez and Barry Ferguson!!!


    ------------------------------------

    brilliant!!

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  • 37. At 2:45pm on 26 Jan 2010, Hey Mods Ngog Away wrote:

    Controversy at Bristol City, known as Ashton Gategate!

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  • 38. At 2:47pm on 26 Jan 2010, Chris Charles wrote:

    16. JacksinBuxton: In all honesty, I did a Bill Clinton, looked at the poll but didn't vote.

    18. Spitfire@: You cheeky so-and-so! By the way, never could view the necessary footage of Bolton-Arsenal you linked to in Review of the Week.

    32. JacksinBuxton: Showing your age there, son!

    Loving all the 'Gate' chat from everyone. Imagine if there was a scandal involving (perish the thought)Alan Titchmarsh. Garden-gate?

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  • 39. At 2:48pm on 26 Jan 2010, simon samm wrote:

    I can't quite remember what was said specificly - but the commentating on yesterdays game between Egypt and Cameroon was the worst i've ever experienced.

    Did anyone else have the misfortune of watching?
    IT was on Eurosports I believe?? - which sort of says it all.
    Was just curious who the pair of lemons were?

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  • 40. At 2:52pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    38. At 2:47pm on 26 Jan 2010, Chris Charles wrote:

    32. JacksinBuxton: Showing your age there, son!
    ----------------
    Sorry dad...
    The local school fund raiser didn't start on time...Latefaytegate

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  • 41. At 2:55pm on 26 Jan 2010, Hey Mods Ngog Away wrote:

    Hot Chocolates house is burned to the ground - chocolate fire gate!

    Well, it was nearly guard...........

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  • 42. At 2:56pm on 26 Jan 2010, Asquith_Lufc wrote:

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.

  • 43. At 2:57pm on 26 Jan 2010, Asquith_Lufc wrote:

    in my post above the real words are a little different, manager is something else as is crap but thought it was a little inapropriate to say them :-)

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  • 44. At 3:02pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    An actor famous for a nude wrestling scene with Oliver Reed announces he's appearing at a Cornwall art gallery,sponsored by a brand of contraceptive...BatesMatesTateGate

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  • 45. At 3:08pm on 26 Jan 2010, Hey Mods Ngog Away wrote:

    The world record for the heaviest man in the world in broken - BreaksGreatWeightGate.

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  • 46. At 3:11pm on 26 Jan 2010, Hey Mods Ngog Away wrote:

    Try saying that after 10 pints!

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  • 47. At 3:11pm on 26 Jan 2010, Spitfire wrote:

    38. At 2:47pm on 26 Jan 2010, Chris Charles wrote:

    18. Spitfire@: You cheeky so-and-so! By the way, never could view the necessary footage of Bolton-Arsenal you linked to in Review of the Week.
    ___________________________________________________

    Worry not mate.

    Nobody except some Arsenal fans seems to have seen anything which is nuisance because i could've sworn its usually the other way round.
    The video was in violation of the (so-and-so-ing) copyrights laws apparently and was later removed. I dont have a working link to it at the moment but I thought you media guys could summon anything you felt like. It happened about 10 days ago which in Journalism, must be about early stone age.

    But dont lose much sleep on it. You are doing a cracking job as it is.

    As you were.

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  • 48. At 3:12pm on 26 Jan 2010, ANCELOTTERI wrote:

    haha


    where did the the title ngog

    keep them coming

    haha

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  • 49. At 3:15pm on 26 Jan 2010, ANCELOTTERI wrote:

    a chocolate gateaux was thrown on gareth gates and bill gates



    GateauxGatesGatesGate

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  • 50. At 3:22pm on 26 Jan 2010, Asquith_Lufc wrote:

    At the leeds tottenham game;

    Leeds fans when 5 minutes of added time was announced.... Fergie time, fergie time fergie time

    After jermaine beckford scored in the 96th mintue... We score in fergie time, we score in fergie time we score in fergie time!

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  • 51. At 3:29pm on 26 Jan 2010, Hey Mods Ngog Away wrote:

    Katie Prices chokes on her toothbrush.............

    KatieSwallowsColgateGate

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  • 52. At 3:35pm on 26 Jan 2010, mrflamingo wrote:

    I play for a team called Garden Village FC. We had a league game on the Sunday, but for our Goalkeepers birthday, we went for a massive night out in Liverpool.
    On the Sunday morning, we had lost our goalkeeper and 4 other players. They were still in Liverpool!!!! We had to cancel the fixture due to lack of players and we were reported to the league disciplinary board.
    We called it 'Gardengate'.

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  • 53. At 3:35pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    She put what in her mouth?
    Apparently,she doesn't like a stoned fruit commonly found in the shops at Christmas...KatieHateDateGate

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  • 54. At 3:35pm on 26 Jan 2010, LABSAB9 wrote:

    Cow caught in compromising position with an opening to a field................Cow and Gate!!! Boom boom

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  • 55. At 3:44pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    This "gate" thing isn't proving popular in certain quaters...AbateTheGateGate

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  • 56. At 3:46pm on 26 Jan 2010, LABSAB9 wrote:

    Although it is proving very poular in other quarters...Celebratethegategate

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  • 57. At 3:51pm on 26 Jan 2010, Hey Mods Ngog Away wrote:

    I RateTheGateGate, but if others HateTheGateGate then they can go and DebateTheGateGate somewhere else!

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  • 58. At 3:56pm on 26 Jan 2010, Hey Mods Ngog Away wrote:

    Below is TheSuffocateGate Scandal........

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1245311/21-stone-Mia-Landingham-kills-father-children-sitting-row.html

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  • 59. At 3:59pm on 26 Jan 2010, Hey Mods Ngog Away wrote:

    Re 53 Jacks, it was like a toothbrush compared to Dwight Yorke.............

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  • 60. At 4:01pm on 26 Jan 2010, LABSAB9 wrote:

    #58 - Oh dear that is not a good way to go!! (or should i say that is not a good way to ngog!!!)

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  • 61. At 4:06pm on 26 Jan 2010, Asquith_Lufc wrote:

    Bill gates does some work for a his "friend" ken bates

    GatesDoesMatesRatesForKenBatesGate

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  • 62. At 4:07pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    Bit of catching up to do,there.So I'm having a lategate moment...
    Dwight Yorke,is he the lead singer of Radiohead?

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  • 63. At 4:10pm on 26 Jan 2010, Hey Mods Ngog Away wrote:

    Jacks, not sure if thats a real question or im missing the joke mate, but Dwight Yorke is an Ex footballer! Went out with Jordan and hence where her first child came from! Rumours are he enhanced the reputation about the darker skinned fellow!!

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  • 64. At 4:16pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    N'gog,it was a weak gag.Thom Yorke being the Radiohead depression artist.Dwight Yorke is Brian Lara's mate.So when he did the dirty on Jordan it was Lara'sMateGate...

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  • 65. At 4:43pm on 26 Jan 2010, Ulstershaker wrote:

    There was a mix up between the former Clyde, Rangers, Sheffield United, Stoke City, Huddersfield Town, Burnley, Cambridge United, Peterborough United, York City, Dundee, Carlisle United, Barrow, Workington, Hucknall Town, Stalybridge Celtic, Hyde United and Retford United footballer Tom Cowan and former New Jersey Democratic politician Thomas F. Cowan which is known as Cowangate....

    I'll get me coat....

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  • 66. At 4:47pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    Don't milk it,Maurice.....

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  • 67. At 4:47pm on 26 Jan 2010, ControlledMagic wrote:

    @#33 - Rob K. You flash git!

    :-)

    "that Italian tune I can't remember the name of".....turns out, if you are right, that's be because I never knew the name in the first place. I still can't remember what advert(s) it's associated with either, so suffice to say I was murmuring "ta-ra-ra-boom-de-yay". Clearly I move in sophisticated circles.

    So, what would Mary have been doing with a mobile phone in Verdi's piece then?

    Try as I might I can't come up with a -gate to that query so will have to refer all posters to message 13 above.

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  • 68. At 4:47pm on 26 Jan 2010, Stumpy wrote:

    Heard this at Cheltenham vs Leicester back in the 08/09 season, where the Foxes won 4-0. (Obviously name is made up :))

    Announcer: "Could Dave Smith of the Cheltenham Supporter's Group please return to your family at the ticket gates, as you have walked in with their tickets."

    Leicester fans: "Where's your family gone, WHERE'S YOUR FAMILY GONE?!"

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  • 69. At 4:48pm on 26 Jan 2010, ControlledMagic wrote:

    Doh! message 12.

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  • 70. At 4:50pm on 26 Jan 2010, Ulstershaker wrote:

    There was also the incidents around the delay involving the shipping of a number of huge items from a quarry in Wales to use in the construction of a hearth which is known as the GreatSpateofLateSlateGrateCratesGate

    Where's that taxi?

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  • 71. At 4:50pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    33. At 2:28pm on 26 Jan 2010, Rob K wrote:

    "Time for your sandwiches" would work quite well to Verdi's 'La donna è mobile' from Rigoletto.

    -----------------------------
    ControlledMagic,I thought Rob K was talking about the portable kebab van parked at the end of the high street...

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  • 72. At 4:51pm on 26 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    70. At 4:50pm on 26 Jan 2010, Maurice Dickson wrote:

    There was also the incidents around the delay involving the shipping of a number of huge items from a quarry in Wales to use in the construction of a hearth which is known as the GreatSpateofLateSlateGrateCratesGate

    Where's that taxi?
    ----------------------------
    It's LateMate

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  • 73. At 5:03pm on 26 Jan 2010, ControlledMagic wrote:

    Indeed Jacks - and that set me on the road to realisation that my memory of the tune I was more associated with catering transport, albeit that I was thinking of Mr Whippy.

    Has the quotes blog turned into Robbo's ramble? Sorry Chris!

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  • 74. At 5:14pm on 26 Jan 2010, That Singing Guy wrote:

    From the 5 Live commentary on the Chelsea Preston match

    "Zhirkov with the cross."

    Isn't that a scene from the Exorcist? ;-)

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  • 75. At 5:23pm on 26 Jan 2010, Ben Manser wrote:

    Recently in local news there was a story about a farm animal stealing babyfood.

    Cow and gate

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  • 76. At 5:33pm on 26 Jan 2010, guy wrote:

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.

  • 77. At 5:40pm on 26 Jan 2010, That Singing Guy wrote:

    Errr, guy? The line clearly reads SOCK-sucker :P

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  • 78. At 6:15pm on 26 Jan 2010, Nick wrote:

    A (James Blunt) could be a good way to hide a certain obsinity.

    Also anyone thnk what a scandal involving water would be?
    Was raised in a Michell and Webb scetch.

    No annoucements this week?

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  • 79. At 7:24pm on 26 Jan 2010, ControlledMagic wrote:

    Nick - If a simple 'privatisation' didn't float that particular boat then I guess we'd be subjected to hydrogate?

    And if we didn't accept that we'd be forced to which'll be Waterboardgate

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  • 80. At 7:32pm on 26 Jan 2010, Robokopthe3rd wrote:

    Roger Waters (ex Pink Floyd) garden is flooded by burst pipe thus knocking down his entrance to said garden.

    Aka `Waterswatergategate`

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  • 81. At 7:34pm on 26 Jan 2010, Robokopthe3rd wrote:

    Number 20. Bill Gates assasigned (Huh?!)

    Is that some new word or something?

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  • 82. At 8:18pm on 26 Jan 2010, U2097702 wrote:

    No 64: I'd say more a stable door than a gate given the ladies history.




    allegedly of course!

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  • 83. At 8:22pm on 26 Jan 2010, I dont want a display name wrote:

    "we are not allowed to asterisked swearwords any more"
    Hooray! The moderators have finally appointed someone with a brain who is going to treat us like adults. I mean, let's face it, if it's a quote, it shouldn't be censored, should it? After all, if we know the word we'll understand it with asterisks and we'll only be offended if we have a stick up our . . . and if we don't understand it, we won't be offended.

    "so you may spot a couple of instances where I have swapped the offending word for another one in brackets".
    D'oh!

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  • 84. At 9:03pm on 26 Jan 2010, Fun_n_Games wrote:

    No more asterisked swear words? The phrase I'm thinking of rhymes with Clucking Bell.

    Also West Ham striker in suspicious incident with tube of toothpaste: Colegate.

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  • 85. At 9:07pm on 26 Jan 2010, I dont want a display name wrote:

    #82 oozatden wrote:
    No 64: I'd say more a stable door than a gate given the ladies history.
    ==============================
    I'm continually amazed at the falling educational standards that these blogs expose.
    "given the ladies history" is wrong in every way.
    If it was the history of the ladies (more than one lady), it would be "given the ladies' history" but since it refers to Jordan i.e. one lady (?), it should be "given the lady's history".
    There are further education courses you know.
    I know, get a life. The usual response of the uneducated.

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  • 86. At 9:11pm on 26 Jan 2010, I dont want a display name wrote:

    84. At 9:03pm on 26 Jan 2010, Fun_n_Games wrote:
    No more asterisked swear words? The phrase I'm thinking of rhymes with Clucking Bell.

    Also West Ham striker in suspicious incident with tube of toothpaste: Colegate.
    ======================================
    I take my hat off to you, you ducking tanker.

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  • 87. At 9:28pm on 26 Jan 2010, Fun_n_Games wrote:

    #86
    Are you a high-wire act performer? You cunning stunt.
    Be interesting to see if this line of spoonerism gets modded.

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  • 88. At 9:33pm on 26 Jan 2010, I dont want a display name wrote:

    I rcieveed an eamil rcentley whcih epainlexd taht as lnog as the frist and lsat letetrs of a wrod are in the rgiht plcae, our branis wlil deciephr the mesasge corerctly.
    Tihs bineg the csae, thsee stpuid fckuing mdoretars can be dfeated, ulness tehy srtucinise erevy mial.

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  • 89. At 9:51pm on 26 Jan 2010, Fun_n_Games wrote:

    #88
    Oh, tehy wlil hvae you mdoded for taht, sruely!
    Your #85 post is also well noted. Are you aware of a deep controversy regarding the grammatical correctness or otherwise of this blog's author's title description: Chris Charles' Blog (see top of webpage)? Another regular poster has pointed out that we either have multiple bloggers called Chris Charles who create the blog, or it is supposed to be Chris Charles's Blog.
    You can see why I used the word controversy to describe this headline-making news. Bloggate, anyone?

    Finally, #22. Legend. Watched that episode on the Net the other evening. Love KB. Another fantastic line he delivered was in Deep Space Homer: "I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords". That's the kind of line that can be adapted to many a situation.

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  • 90. At 9:56pm on 26 Jan 2010, TerryFBH wrote:

    11. At 1:05pm on 26 Jan 2010, ControlledMagic wrote:
    Yer Janner.....? Speak English man! :-)

    singing "time for your sandwiches" to that italian tune I can't remember the bllody name of!

    THe tune goes sumat like this :

    "Time for your sandwiches, time for... actually you know and I know Im just wasting my time ... dang these blogs

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  • 91. At 10:01pm on 26 Jan 2010, TerryFBH wrote:

    Ex Boro manager may have not been so bad after all and transfers to telly talk stuff and is still a nice bloke, even if his nose is a bit big, actually more pointy than big
    Southgategate

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  • 92. At 10:26pm on 26 Jan 2010, chrissusmissus wrote:

    Trevor4491, I must have read that 3 times without noticing what you did....i like it sir!

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  • 93. At 10:27pm on 26 Jan 2010, chrissusmissus wrote:

    N.B. chris charles.... 5-0 you reds!!

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  • 94. At 10:29pm on 26 Jan 2010, TerryFBH wrote:

    78. At 6:15pm on 26 Jan 2010, Nick wrote:
    A (James Blunt) could be a good way to hide a certain obsinity.

    You from South Africa Mate(gate)

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  • 95. At 10:33pm on 26 Jan 2010, chrissusmissus wrote:

    A shipping company has been fined for loading their cargo ships far above national safety limits.

    Greatfreightweightgate

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  • 96. At 10:34pm on 26 Jan 2010, I dont want a display name wrote:

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.

  • 97. At 10:39pm on 26 Jan 2010, I dont want a display name wrote:

    89. At 9:51pm on 26 Jan 2010, Fun_n_Games wrote:
    Are you aware of a deep controversy regarding the grammatical correctness or otherwise of this blog's author's title description: Chris Charles' Blog (see top of webpage)? Another regular poster has pointed out that we either have multiple bloggers called Chris Charles who create the blog, or it is supposed to be Chris Charles's Blog.
    ===================================================
    Pnoit wlel tkaen.
    Bforee tehy treinmate my acounct for eevr let me pnoit you twaords
    http://www.apostrophe.org.uk/

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  • 98. At 10:43pm on 26 Jan 2010, Fun_n_Games wrote:

    #96
    We risk the ire of Mr. Charles (who is a top bloke, I truly believe), because as #93 points out, his mood will not be great. Perhaps next week's QOTW will include a gem from the most recent soon-to-be-sacked QPR boss?

    Aynawy, scoucres? Sruely you jset?
    Let's give it a go then: Scousers; as an Everton supporter, I think they are the salt of the Earth.

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  • 99. At 10:48pm on 26 Jan 2010, completeuttermadnessCUFC wrote:

    Colchester Manager Aidy Boothroyd when asked about Kevin Lisbie's interest in a permanent move to Southampton:

    "I'd like to be manager of Real Madrid but people don't have a go at me for that!"

    And to a reporter who asked for more information on new signing Knudsen:

    "Well you can say his name better than I can".

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  • 100. At 10:59pm on 26 Jan 2010, I dont want a display name wrote:

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the House Rules.

  • 101. At 11:13pm on 26 Jan 2010, slaptonhatter_matt wrote:

    'Wednesday's Football Photos, Photos from all four premier league games'
    On the BBC Sport Website at 11.00PM on Tuesday Night, slight error there i think?

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  • 102. At 11:16pm on 26 Jan 2010, Fun_n_Games wrote:

    trevor4491:
    What did you do at #100 that was worse than #96?

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  • 103. At 11:18pm on 26 Jan 2010, Ieuan wrote:

    How about: Pop star records Queen song without permission - Radiogagagagagate..

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  • 104. At 11:23pm on 26 Jan 2010, I_have_a_tiny_dingle wrote:

    Chris considering that only about three sentences of this blog (? blog!? I hope I can one day be paid to collage other people's quotes, seems more secretarial than journalistic) are actually your own it would have been nice (or perhaps professional would have been a better way of putting it; or adequate) if you could have read over them, and checked them for mistakes. I draw your attention to the following:

    "we are not allowed to asterisked swearwords any more"

    Assuming you're using "asterisked" as an adjective then it should be "not allowed to have". Perhaps you wanted to use it as a verb, in which case "asterisk", the infinitive form, would have been appropriate.

    See.. it may sound silly to make this clear. I probably come across as an asterisked swearword myself, and I'm sure as a professional journalist you're aware of basic grammar. However, I'm also sure you know how to use basic spell and grammar checking software, so I thought it best to be safe than sorry.

    Perhaps next time you'd do your readers the courtesy of checking your work?

    Speaking of courtesy to readers, its a pleasure to see someone who follows up on their blogs and responds to user comments. You do this very well and its refreshing to see. Good job.

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  • 105. At 11:37pm on 26 Jan 2010, Spitfire wrote:

    104:

    Former school teacher for the middle classes by any chance?

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  • 106. At 11:43pm on 26 Jan 2010, I_have_a_tiny_dingle wrote:

    105

    Good effort. Hope you're not classifying me as middle class because I know me grammar, but because I sound like a 6 letter asterisked swearword beginning with t and ending in r (given trevor's efforts - 96 - I'm not sure why I'm bothering).

    Not a teacher though. Just have anger management issues, so I reply to blogs :).

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  • 107. At 00:20am on 27 Jan 2010, completeuttermadnessCUFC wrote:

    Owen Coyle on being called "Judas" by Burnley fans tonight:

    "But if we're going to get biblical, then maybe it should be Moses, because we led them from the wilderness."

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  • 108. At 07:53am on 27 Jan 2010, Boonting wrote:

    Bit late with this one but...

    The commentator describing a Tevez challange at City v Utd last week

    "He was late, he was high."

    I've heard that before.

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  • 109. At 07:58am on 27 Jan 2010, ControlledMagic wrote:

    #98 - Fun N Games - do you see what Trevor did there? Lulled you into believing he was talking about your salt of the earth / luv their mams Scouser neighbours, where his actual anagram either hints at a touch of dyslexia or misinterpretation; scoucres.

    Far be it for me to probe deeply into Trevor's mind, with neither the skill or the inclination, but methinks that the common reference in BBC stories to which he alludes is 'sources'. As we all know, a journalist of Mr Chris Charles's standing would never reveal his.....but we may all rest assured that anyone may be at liberty to blanket reference some of your neighbours as dppiers. Er, sorry, scousers.

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  • 110. At 9:47pm on 27 Jan 2010, Snickers_Man wrote:

    On Radio 5Live during Stoke-Arsenal:

    "He (Denilson) had to decide whether to pass it or shoot himself."

    I know they weren't playing well, but surely that's taking things a bit far!

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  • 111. At 09:13am on 28 Jan 2010, Fun_n_Games wrote:

    #109
    Excellent stuff. And there I was so eager to pounce on any chance to tell all that I'm a Toffees supporter. Serves me right. I can't even go back and see how I made that misrepresentation of Trevor's work because, as you can see from #96 (and hardly surprisingly if you read it, let's be honest) he broke the House Rules. So you see, it's true: all posts are reactively moderated. As for the crossbars, well that's anyone's guess.

    Anyway, one of my main themes, which I'd like to close on, is that Chris Charles is a top bloke, and pity there's not more like him. What about that ManU - ManC game! Bet CC will get a few nice quotes for next week out of that one!

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  • 112. At 10:10am on 28 Jan 2010, JacksinBuxton wrote:

    I appear to have run out of milk for my hot drink...
    coffeemategate

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  • 113. At 8:18pm on 28 Jan 2010, football francais wrote:

    Chris - good selection, as entertaining as ever.But did I remember to close the gate as I came in?...

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  • 114. At 2:10pm on 29 Jan 2010, Jim wrote:

    "Do do do do, Susan Boyle"

    Burnley fans at Bolton, to the same tune we used to sing for Owen Coyle

    Made a slightly refreshing change from the abuse

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  • 115. At 8:54pm on 29 Jan 2010, TBY wrote:

    Robbie Savage in his column in the Daily Mirror, referring to Arsenal and Man U:

    "I still think they'll have to finish above Chelsea to win the league."

    Surely you have to finish above everyone to win the league?

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