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Jedward ft. Vanilla Ice - 'Under Pressure (Ice Ice Baby)'

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Fraser McAlpine | 11:42 UK time, Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Jedward

TV talent shows are built upon a gaping hole in their own internal logic. And they know it.

The flaw is this: even though the focus of the show is the singing, being a pop star is not about being able to sing. I've said this before, because it was true then, and it's still true now. It's useful if you can sing, being able to sing will get you a certain distance towards being a pop star, but it's not the golden ticket. The golden ticket is, for want of a better word, charisma. It's the ability to make people want look at you, and think about you. They don't even have to LIKE you.

Why else would the TV show be called The X Factor? What they SAY they're looking for is amazing performances in the field of singing, what they're ACTUALLY looking for as performances it is impossible to tear your eyes and ears away from in case your brain suddenly falls out of your face like rice pudding squished under a fork.

And if we were all honest about this, we could maybe admit that John and Edward might just be the best pop stars the X Factor has ever unearthed.

(Here's the video. Jedward work best in front of an audience, JUST LIKE DYLAN, MAAN.)

Think about it, loads of people watch the show for the auditions stage, and like nothing more than to see the expression on Simon Cowell's face when a middle-aged man in a baby outfit hiccups his way through 'Unchained Melody'. Jedward, with their flailing limbs and breathless delivery, bring something of this to their performance.

They're also, as twins, slightly different from everyone else (in showbiz terms, this is. Perfectly normal by any other measurement), and massively, massively excited about what they're doing. There would be no point getting them to do The X Factor Ballad, because they'd just muck it up. Get them to do something fun - and really, you'd have to be a Rock Bore of epic proportions not to find this even slightly entertaining - and the mucking up becomes part of the act.

They can fluff the lyrics, they each can nervously check where the other is in the dance routine and then get it all wrong anyway, they can blush and mumble, and deliver their spoken lines with the authority and passion of a Daniel Day Lewis (in My Left Foot), and everyone will love them for it.

Best of all, they can bring out another much-derided pop star with a serious hairspray addiction, get him to reprise some of the verses to his one great hit, without becoming overshadowed. Sure, Vanilla Ice is no Paul McCartney, but if John and Edward were as hopeless as their worst critics claim, he'd dwarf them like a planet dwarfs a virus.

Bottom line, pop music is about fun, and this is fun. WAY fun. Plus I already know all the words from the first time around. Which is more than Jedward do.

Five stars Download: Out now
CD Released: February 15th
www.planetjedward.net
BBC Music page

(Fraser McAlpine)

Comments

Page 1 of 22

  • Comment number 1.

    JEDWARD!

  • Comment number 2.

    YES! Fraser, I totally agree. They were just in the studio for The 5:19 Show and a) they're exactly the same as you'd imagine (hyper but brilliant) and b) this happened: http://twitpic.com/1101jl

  • Comment number 3.

    Oh no.

    Fraser, what have you done?
    I can't believe you've given this song 5 stars. Dear me. Are you ill?

  • Comment number 4.

    I actually liked Vanilla Ice's version of Play That Funky Music more than Ice Ice Baby.

    I have nothing else to say about this.

  • Comment number 5.

    Well, Fraser is never seriously wrong, only a bit carried away, maybe? I´m all for diversity, but there´s good hilarious and there´s bad hilarious, as we all know after a hundred years of the Eurovision. And anyway, these two headless chicken are a bit past their wild and crazy "now" moment already. That´s how I feel anyway. Cannot get excited. Sorry.
    But who am I to judge? A Number One´s in the bag, if they can manage to shift that whimpering owl from the top perch.

  • Comment number 6.

    See that, ChartBloggerers? "Never seriously wrong"

    Mangsy, you a clearly a person of rare taste and understanding. I applaud you.

  • Comment number 7.

    ... do all my senses deceive me? vanilla ice made one of the worst cover's/ sample things in history when they did ice ice baby. it was insulting at the time and it still is now. and then THAT gets covered by two talentless twins who the majority of people hate??

    im sorry, the ball stops with the whole 'anything can be pop, don't be such a music snob' with this. surely.

  • Comment number 8.

    Still not at no. 1 on Itunes! Even though I don't like Owl City I'm begging that it holds on to that top spot.

  • Comment number 9.

    Oh please Fraser, don´t, but thanks anyway. Trying my best to be fair. On the other hand I can snap at any moment, you know. It´s to do with the medication, see.*




    * errr... joke. Not making fun of ill people.

  • Comment number 10.

    Flatknees and Harry, We´re always gonna have to put up with the likes of the Vengaboys, Outhere Brothers, those scary sisters that wanted us to touch their b*ms and Leona Lewis. Jedward are not the worst, not by a long shot. Remember that they will be forgotten come April. Just a cross we´ll have to bear ´til then. Wanna try some of my meds? *



    * Yes, joke.

  • Comment number 11.

    Harry, what´s worrying is that Timbaland is moving up on the ´tunes. Now that´s scary, because that song is not even tongue-in-cheek. Just boring. I´d prefer the owl at number 1 (out of these) but I´ll settle for Jedward if that means Timbaland can´t go anywhere near the top. Why do people think his tracks are interesting in any way? See, I almost snapped then.

  • Comment number 12.

    Normally I wouldn't care about Jedward being no.1 but seeing as I'm the only person on Chart Blog who believes they won't I desperately want them not to make it. It would be the first time I've been right and Spirit has not! (no exaggeration it would be the first time)

  • Comment number 13.

    Oh, that's nice. I just spent the last nine months defending Fraser (and ChartBlog) from the torrent of criticism from everyone (apart from Liam), effectively getting called Fraser's hoochie, and what thanks did I get? Chuff all, that's what. This Mangsy character swans in with a cheap backhanded compliment, and it's all applause and "rare taste and understanding".

    You see the lesson here, kids? Loyalty gets you NOWHERE. Fourteen months of faithful reading and you don't even get a cheap gold watch - they just take count you as a website hit, chew you up and spit you out. You want to get on in this world, you look out for yourself. And if someone slags off the blog you like because it doesn't talk enough about hooks and lyrics, let 'em.

  • Comment number 14.

    Fourteen months of commenting, actually. I've been reading for much longer.

  • Comment number 15.

    In that case let´s hope you´re right. It´s infuriating when someone gets their predictions right all the time. But remember, he seems to be working "in the industry" as I recall. He needs to be taught a lesson. ;)

  • Comment number 16.

    He can't comment at the moment because he's frantically downloading this song from as many IP addresses as possible in order to fulfil his own insane prophecy :)

  • Comment number 17.

    As for Fraser, I think he is right as well. Tongue in cheek a little, of course, well, maybe just curving round the teeth. Point is, there's different kinds of good, and different kinds of bad.

    And this song is awesome, in the genuine, original meaning of the word, and terrible as well, in the same way. I can't decide: it's terrible, it's awesome, and it's terrible. It's terrisome. Or awesible.

  • Comment number 18.

    Although Awesible would be the lead singer of a different band, specifically this one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0TYun-Nq1Q

  • Comment number 19.

    Its also better than Joe McElderry's X-Factor single!

  • Comment number 20.

    Post 15: that was for you Harry.
    As for you Curtains: It´s all just about having fun this swanning in business. But I´m not really convinced about the sincerity in the compliment I got. He´s a master of irony, is Fraser, as you might have noticed.
    Now, if I were him I would give some serious thought to those who have been slaving away, posting for as long as you have Curtains, and have nothing to show for it. How about that gold watch? Or a few nice words at least? Anything?
    And don´t go grumpy on us now C. Please?

  • Comment number 21.

    Fraser should bake us all a cake for our commitment!

  • Comment number 22.

    Post 18; lol lol lol

    "You have really big glasses"

    "Do you like my mullet"

    Fantastic! So funny!

  • Comment number 23.

    Dear ChartBloggerers (addendum)

    a) thank you all for your continued support for the ChartBlog. I honestly am knocked out that you guys come here every day. Even if it is just to call me names! No fake.

    b) Curtains, I have done you a grave disservice, and for that I apologise. I've just checked all my past comments, and apart from enjoying re-reading them all (I am VERY funny, after all) it seems I have never thanked you personally for being the voice of reason you so often are. So thank you.

    c) Mangsy - just take the damn compliment, sheesh! ;-)

    Fraser

  • Comment number 24.

    I think I got a thanks on the Mika thread. I deserved a sodding medal but I'll settle.

    More on Jedward later.

  • Comment number 25.

    Ugh, Jedward....

    Yeah it's fun, and yes I COMPLETELY commend Fraser for noticing that these idiots are the only two POP stars to ever sprout from the X Factor weed since EVER, but what's still inescapable is that they are the two of the most annoying, deluded and creepy people... since EVER. And they are crap.

  • Comment number 26.

    Mangsy, I'm afraid you're going to have to give Fraser some of your medication because he is seriously unhinged for giving 5 stars to these guys.

  • Comment number 27.

    Sorry Fraser.
    It´s not always easy to live in a world where irony is the most valuable currency. I mean that. No, really! I do!!!
    See? :(

  • Comment number 28.

    And compliment taken, I meant to say as well. And no messing about.

  • Comment number 29.

    At 22: it is very funny isn't it. And the effort taken to sound like the original singer is impressive.

    On the other hand, awesible/Orzabal is possibly the worst pun written anywhere by anyone ever, and I apologise.

  • Comment number 30.

    They are funny! At least they're enjoying themselves!

  • Comment number 31.

    Yes we are! Especially thranjax. Thanks Rachel! ;)

  • Comment number 32.

    Thranjax, check out Total eclipse of the heart as well. Hysterical! Can´t stop giggling. Silly. There are lots of others too but they don´t quite work.

  • Comment number 33.

    At last someone else is seeing what I'm seeing. A completely different act to anything else that's out there. They have that special something called the 'X-factor', you just don't want to look away incase you miss something. They bring a bit of sunshine to the radio. I just wish Radio 1 would give them some airplay though, i've only heard it being played twice and its number 2 in the ITunes chart, come on, get it the playlist :) Thanks Fraser.

  • Comment number 34.

    They haven't put in any face time on Radio1. They will hammered records or artists that do that (see JLS). Silly marketing company for Jedward.

  • Comment number 35.

    i am actually crying right now. why is everyone being fooled by this!? don't think your smart because you've gone against the current of people hating them by saying they 'are having fun' or are like 'sunshine'..

    if you want to understand why i am so angry, think of all the great bands and artists who deserved to make it big, but didn't. and yet because of some TV show these twins have...

    i feel ill

  • Comment number 36.

    okay not 'everyone' being fooled.. but too many people

  • Comment number 37.

    Well Flatknees, I don't feel fooled because I genuinely like them and not because its going against what the majority of people feel. I do agree with some of your post, its unfair that great bands are not recognised but thats not their fault, thats the industry as a whole at the moment.

  • Comment number 38.

    At least Jedward appear to know that they don't actually have any singing talent, and its a pretty good song for them to cover. I dont think anyone is going to complain about them ruining a great song.

    Also, surely it is the fault of the band that they don't get the recognition that they deserve (in most cases). They could hire better management companies. It can't be that hard to get an appearance on the radio!

  • Comment number 39.

    Yeah, piece of cake, Mike. "Hire better management companies." Now why didn´t they think of that?

  • Comment number 40.

    I think they probably don't want to be to greedy and don't have a lot of choice with the promotion as they are tied to Sony. Sony probably didn't like the backlash with the whole RATM campaign and so aren't throwing their full weight behind it!

  • Comment number 41.

    JEDWARD UPDATE:
    The video is here!!!!!!!!!!! you can check it out on their youtube and even if you hate them you can't deny that it's brilliant.

    Also in the sales Jedward are:
    Itunes - no.2
    7digital - not even in the top 20
    Play.com - no.17
    Amazon - no.5 (but Amazon have recently started selling the single for 29p)

    Unfortunately the video should gain interest for the single so some of those positions are expected to rise. This one could go right down to the wire!

  • Comment number 42.

    Okay this doesn't make sense, I've now read somewhere that Jedward are only 24 sales behind Owl City. Judging by the fact that it's only being released on download and the fact that Owl City is number 1 on pretty much every chart, this is either says that the story is rubbish or that there is some kind of mass Jedward download going on somewhere random.

  • Comment number 43.

    sometimes I talk to squirrels

  • Comment number 44.

    That's nice to know Catman

  • Comment number 45.

    Harry, don´t blame our friend Random. Looks like Spirits´s coming closer to victory now. Once the Jedward train starts rolling for real I don´t think they can be stopped. Sorry about that, but I´ll keep my fingers crossed anyway.

  • Comment number 46.

    I'm actually feeling better now actually turns out that was from tuesday, todays sales show they are around 4,000 behind Owl City. So my dream goes on!

  • Comment number 47.

    Baaa! BAAA!

  • Comment number 48.

    i like the idea that they haven't butchered a good song. but surely it means it was an average/poor song before. so it still is that? and it is challenging to be the most purchased song in the UK this week?

    NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  • Comment number 49.

    Sorry about that. Just trying to lure your friend Spirit out from wherever he´s hiding.

  • Comment number 50.

    anyone got the new hot chip album btw? check out 'i feel better' for a taster

  • Comment number 51.

    I mentioned I liked the new Hot Chip album on the Erik Hassle thread a couple of days ago. But for those who can't be bothered to check that out I'll just say this THIEVES IN THE NIGHT IS A MASSIVE TUNE.

  • Comment number 52.

    A-may-zing that track. I haven´t had time to listen to the whole album, but I will. The only problem I have with Hot Chip is his voice at times. He sounds like he´s smirking. But that´s probably just me, I´m sure he isn´t.

  • Comment number 53.

    I actually meant I feel better but Harry got in there before me.

  • Comment number 54.

    I Feel Better is pretty damn awesome as well, the other great tracks on the album are Take It In and One Life Stand.

  • Comment number 55.

    Could Jedward's number one be slipping further and further away. Current download placing are:
    Itunes - no.3
    7digital - still not in the top 20
    Play.com - no.9
    Amazon - still no.5

  • Comment number 56.

    If they don't make it this week, they never will. Charity bombardment inc.

  • Comment number 57.

    this song is gross, it's had it's time, the jedward obsession will end pretty soon i bet. people are starting to realise how stupid they are.

  • Comment number 58.

    JEDWARD UPDATE:
    With the chart coming closer by the second Jedward seem to be falling away.
    Current download placings are:
    Itunes - no.6
    Amazon - no.4
    Play.com - no. 7
    7digital - don't know why I bothered checking this one out in the first place as they're still not in the top 20

    It's important to note that Owl City is beating them on every chart.

  • Comment number 59.

    Jedward Jedward Jedward. I realise everybody is bored of them and with this review by now, but Im bored and haven't got my sixpenny's worth in yet.

    I'm an avid X Factor fan and I remember their first audition. Looking back I thought it was a comedy audition, but now I think they have always been deadly serious about their ambitions etc. Whatever those might be.

    My view of them on X Factor went as such - Week 1 - GET OFF MY SCREEN. 2 - Oh my God they are hilarious, such good TV, 3 - Lol, 4 - Still funny .. 5 - Oh ok still here? 6 - Jokes old now, they are kicking good people off, 7 - BYE.

    At the end of the day, X Factor is a singing contest and they cant actually sing. They can't even perform, despite what people say. At least Same Difference were mostly in time and had moderate voices. I know they are considering a novelty act section on X Factor, but I think it will spell the death of the competition. It only works when the core of good singers, such as Leona, Joe, Diana and Mr. Ward are produced. The second acts like Jedward flood the competition it becomes even more of a joke of a process.

    Having said that, as a series it drew the most listeners of all it's series, I think. Jedward did contribute to this, even just to get people hooked and then interested in acts such as Joe.

    After X Factor I did suspect we would be seeing more of them. Louis Walsh seems to love them perhaps a little bit too much. Good job on getting them back into the public eye asap, people do forget about novelty acts such as them if not bought up constantly.

    After watching their interview on Jonathan Ross I'm pretty sure they are actually a little deluded. They do seem very genuine and into the whole deal. Bless them they were pretty star struck and hunble at first, but once they got into their stride they wouldn't shut up! Well one of them. I think one had been given too much sedative and the other not enough. They displayed some odd behaviour!! It was a funny interview, but more because of Ross. Althought he didnt really ask many particuarly good questions or get much out of them.

    They have got the X Factor tour to keep them occupied for now. Will they get an album out for some time this year? Very probably. Even just to remind people X Factor exists, so when Joe's album is released people will have X Factor fresh in their mind.

    Sticking power? Minimal I think. All died down by the end of the next series of X Factor I'm sure. Album of middling success, second single of moderate sucess, tour of universities to follow. Think somewhere inbetween Eggnog and Alexandra.

  • Comment number 60.

    I've scanned all the comments above and as expected, no one agrees! Jedward are like marmite.
    I didn't like them on X-Factor because people (like Lucie) left before them when I thought she was one of the top runners, but at the same time their performances were always entertaining...

    Now I do like this.
    It' utter rubbish, but it's brilliant! It works so well! I completely understand why you gave them 5 stars Fraser :)

  • Comment number 61.

    Lucie was pretty average. Amazing looking but an average singer.

  • Comment number 62.

    I thought she was a good singer, but then I'm no expert. Fact remains she was a better singer than Jedward and yet they stayed longer than her.
    To be honest none of them this year I think had the "X-Factor" and I doubt we'll be talking about any of them in a few years time, except maybe in reference to when Rage got a Christmas no 1 instead of Joe and maybe if Jedward get somewhere with this song, but I guess they'll be one hit wonders.

  • Comment number 63.

    I suspect we will be seeing a lot of Joe. I think he's a really good singer, hope he doesnt get rubbish. Danyl will be back too, Simon loved him. Maybe Stacey too. But probably not untill 2011, like Diana.

  • Comment number 64.

    Its time for the final JEDWARD UPDATE:
    Any fears of a Jedward fight back now would be irrational, so it looks like I can have my party tommorow and it also looks like the mighty Spirit will be wrong.

    Current chart placing are - Itunes - no.6
    Amazon - no.4
    Play.com - no.5
    7digital - I'm not bothering with this one anymore.

  • Comment number 65.

    Fear of Jedward is not irrational, harry. I think they could crawl out and still take number one. But I hope Spirit is wrong, and retreats back to his undersea lair to plan more evil, probably involving Ndubz...

  • Comment number 66.

    I can't see it happening. 1. The single is not being released physically yet so downloads are all they have and 2. people buying the Jedward are likely to buy it from a big name company like Itunes as opposed to some small unknown downloads company.

  • Comment number 67.

    'It' utter rubbish, but it's brilliant!'

    -sigh-

  • Comment number 68.

    I take it you don't agree flatknees?

    Don't worry I'm not gonna go out there any buy it, but every now and then the odd "different" kinda thing still catches my eye... well ears.

  • Comment number 69.

    Well it's just been announced that Alicia Keys is number 5 , and now Glee are number 4 , I believe this week that Owl City will remain at number 1 , with Jedward and Timbaland fighting for positions 2 and 3 .

    Love to all . . . .

  • Comment number 70.

    so soon we shall find out who is right, Spirit and most of Chart Blog or poor, lonely me. (cue sympathy)

    Currently I'm nervously listening to the chart show and wishing that Reggie would just get it over and done with (I would like to think that spirit is doing the same), then again I don't mind listening to Don't Stop Believing again.

  • Comment number 71.

    Well you are OK this week , Harry , the Owl will be perched at one , with two people born 10 minutes apart in 1991 , at number 2....

  • Comment number 72.

    So Spirit has returned to witness this great chart blog moment!

  • Comment number 73.

    I WAS RIGHT!!!!!!!!!! Jedward are no.2!

  • Comment number 74.

    I have returned to speak to you Harry , you superstar !

  • Comment number 75.

    Not very hard to guess but next week Everybody Hurts will be no.1

  • Comment number 76.

    At least it made the count down more exciting!

  • Comment number 77.

    I know this is going to sound stupid, but if it wasn't for the predictions I'd actually rather Jedward was no.1 than Owl City.

  • Comment number 78.

    You would hope so , if only for the effect that the public awareness and the financial gains will have for Haiti .


  • Comment number 79.

    I have to agree with one of your earlier posts Harry , with the correct timing and promotion , ( and if I was co-ordinating it ! ) , Jedward would be number 1 now .

    Is it just me , or has the song hardly figured on tv and radio ?

  • Comment number 80.

    Not that Haiti needs anymore public awareness, however it does desperately need some financial gain.

  • Comment number 81.

    I haven't been listening to the radio much so I couldn't say whether it's been on a lot, also it couldn't be on the tv a lot because the video was only released on tuesday
    (I don't why it couldn't have been released earlier).

  • Comment number 82.

    Yeah , my strategy would have been , having the video released to the major t.v stations exactly one week before it was digitally released.

    That will have secured number 1 spot today.

  • Comment number 83.

    Agree that the marketing hasn't been very good. I think it was a bit of a mistake having them on Jonathon Ross as well, they didn't come across that well.

  • Comment number 84.

    I can understand why radio would be hesitant to embrace a MARMITE act like Jedward .The tool in Jedward's success is T.V , and the performance spectacle .

    This should have been utilised to the MAXIMUM !!

  • Comment number 85.

    Aw.. poor Jedward. Maybe next week, oh no, won't be.. maybe week after, oh no, we won't remember them then... ah well. Bye Bye Jedward!

  • Comment number 86.

    Also if Jedward had released the CD Single at the same time as the download with the video on it they would have got to that top spot.

  • Comment number 87.

    While we're on the subject of music videos, and/or lack of them, when is the Stylo - Gorillaz video going to come out! I know it was a rushed release but there's still no date set for the premiere.

  • Comment number 88.

    Jedward are at the top of the Irish charts!

  • Comment number 89.

    Thanks goes to the glorious Mike Duke .

    When I predicted weeks ago , that Jedward would go to NUMBER 1 , I was obviously referring to the Irish charts ! :)

    Thank goodness for that !
    Cheers Mike , my 100 percent record still stands.

    Everybody Hurts will be next weeks number 1 !

    Buy a pint of Guiness for Mr Duke , and put it on my tab .

  • Comment number 90.

    I totally predicted that Jedward would make it to Number 1 in my native country long before Spirit.

    I believe that pint of Guinness is for me Mr. Duke.

  • Comment number 91.

    Cheers !

    Oh yeah , and a Screaming Orgasm for my good friend Randy....

  • Comment number 92.

    In other news , Jedward will be recording an album , and Alphabeat , have been drafted in to write some songs for it !

    Don't know about anyone else , but I reckon that's Harry's Christmas present for 2010 sorted !!!!!

  • Comment number 93.

    i would agree or disagree kerri if i understood what you meant. 'rubbish but brilliant' seems a little bit of an oxymoron.. and you think that this is 'something "different"'.. speech marks or not, i don't understand why people accept this song or purchase it.

  • Comment number 94.

    This comment was removed because the moderators found it broke the house rules. Explain.

  • Comment number 95.

    Harry I think you can pick up Eoghan Quigg's album quite cheaply now if you want a stocking filler.

    Lol, and as I just discovered, it was also number one in ireland.

  • Comment number 96.

    So Harry let me get this right , you don't want a copy of PETER Andre's new album , Unconditional Love Songs , under any condition ?

  • Comment number 97.

    No Spirit I'd love to own Unconditional Love Songs, what could make me more happy than an album of rubbish love songs made even worse than they were to start with.

    P.S: I'm not even going to pretend to like Eoghan Quigg, he's just that bad!

  • Comment number 98.

    I think we should use the Jedward page to announce music news from now on.

    It's really annoying having to cycle through the three Ryback pages waiting for them to load up.

  • Comment number 99.

    Makes sense, they're both rubbish songs that some how end up being brilliant

  • Comment number 100.

    100!

 

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