Cobra Starship - 'Hot Mess'
OK, class, I've got a project for you. We need to get this song to a place in the charts which is directly adjacent to either 'Tik Tok' or 'Blah Blah Blah' by Ke$ha, preferably one place higher. Then, rather than being a countdown of unique, distinct blocks of sound, the chart rundown becomes a kind of narrative, as the songs start to talk to each other.
First the drunk girl enters the bar, knocking drinks over and picking a fight with the sleazy guy on the high stool. She takes her drink, downs it in one and sashays the hell out of there, leave a trail of chaos in her wake, and all eyes on the toilet paper stuck to her shoe.
Then, just outside the front door, a group of impressed kids attempts to catch her eye. Their leader looks her up and down, before going down on one knee and singing this song.
Kinda brings a tear to the eye, dunnit?
(Here's the video. Anyone else troubled by the idea of a group of men (and one lady) cruising around in a van in order to pick up drunk girls?)
As befits these harsh modern times, this kind of thumbnail sketch of a song is neither sentimental nor romantic, but BOY it's got a lot of character. Hell, the title alone is worth a five-minute thinkabout. 'Hot Mess' can mean either 'sexy but all-over-the-place' or 'really good at looking scuzzy'. And you can even spin those around to get 'sexy/scuzzy' or 'accomplished/untidy'. That's an arresting two-word description, right there.
And isn't it nice to have a song which does not demand unattainable levels of perfection? All you have to do to catch the eye of these Starship captains is shake "it" on a barroom table, and then collapse in a heap on the floor in a stylish fashion. You probably don't even have to dress up!
Of course, in reality we all know that the person making all that fuss and noise around themselves - male or female - is a royal pain in the rear-end. It's nice to pretend otherwise via the medium of popular song, and thanks to Cobra and Kesh we've got both sides of the story, but it's not the FULL story, otherwise there would be some kind of grinding, unpleasant hangover bit at the end which lasts half an hour and comes with its own strange bruising.
By the way, in the end the girl tells the boy to get lost and then falls in a bin. Which should set things up nicely for 'Everybody Hurts'.