Jade Ewen - My Man
Let's get things straight: without me, Jade Ewen would be nothing. NOTHING. Everyone thinks, oh, that Saturday night Eurovision show, oh, that Andrew Lloyd Webber, oh, that raw, incredible, undisputed talent she has - those are the things that have made her who she has today. Well, actually no. It was alllll me. You can thank me later.
You see, last year I helped make this thing for BBC Switch called Myths (based on the ancient Greek myths, obv) and Jade Ewen was in it as one of the Goddesses. She actually had a singing audition for the part that the Saturdays eventually got, but she used her audition tape for her entry into the Eurovision thing...which she was then chosen for. Which she then went and won. Which meant she then represented us in the Eurovision Song Contest. So there you have it, good solid proof that I am the sole reason Jade Ewen is famous.
Ahem. Well, almost. See, I'd love to leave it at that and take all the credit (or even 15% of it will do), but a) I'm not sure my argument is entirely convincing and b) when a lady is meant for pop stardom, with an incredible voice and incredible looks, I don't think anyone else can really claim to have had much to do with it. Least of all me.
(Here's the video. Note the bit where Jade performs a dance rountine by the poo, ON HER OWN. There's a reason people dance in groups.)
'My Man' is a firm departure from that terrible Eurovision song she was forced to sing (sorry, but it was dreadful - and I love a bit of Webs). With a very current electro RnB vibe and a chorus big enough to build Sir Andrew a new stately home upon, this song is sexy, strong and ferocious. I defy you not to wiggle your shoulders to it. In the very least.
However, it also sounds a bit generic, a bit 'this could be anyone' and a bit 'hey, haven't I heard this a thousand times before?' With Leona, Alexandra, Beyonce et al, it's hard to truly figure out why it's that great an addition to the charts.
When Jade came in and co-presented The 5:19 Show, Chris, one of the show's roving reporters, said how she was basically the ideal woman (he didn't say this to her, mind; that would have made for an awkward on air moment). She was gorgeous, but also goofy and fun and full of personality. And whilst 'My Man' hits the buttons and gets everything pretty much right, it lacks something: and that something is Jade's sparkle.
Mind you, it also blows any Eurovision-based judgements of Jade right out of the water. This song is catchy, fun, lively and really marks the coming of Jade Ewen: The Popstar. And that is something I definitely can't take credit for.
Download: Out now
CD Released: September 21st
BBC Music page