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How To Destroy...Take That

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Fraser McAlpine | 17:31 UK time, Tuesday, 26 February 2008

How To Destroy Take That

NOTE: Look at poor little Mark Owen there. The poor fella looks so lonely there now that his former bandmates have been made into sandcastle pie. That's why it's important to realise that putting a giant bucket and spade to use in destroying the newly-resurrected That should only be attempted if the situation absolutely demands it.

An example of this kind of demand might be if they all decided that it was time to create a country in their honour, and annexed the entire Kentish peninsula, renaming it Thatvia. Then, cruelly and without any mercy, if they also decided to cull any citizen of Thatvia who could not prove they had never bought a record by the band. And Robbie Williams records would not count, even though Gary Barlow and Mark Owen solo records would. This would spark a rush to charity shops by desperate citizens, hoping to save themselves, or much-loved family members. But the secret police force - the Jasetapo - would be monitoring all charity shop outlets and would drag away anyone caught with a battered old CD, with a 50p price ticket on it.

That's the kind of thing which would make such a callous act not only acceptable, but actually desirable. So use this information wisely, 'kay?

How To Destroy other people...

PS: In the course of making this little cartoon, I found I had come up with this image, which didn't really fit the format of How To Destroy..., or make a huge amound of sense, but still pleases me immensely. Even now!

Take That's bouncy castle


  1. At 01:12 PM on 27 Feb 2008, Kat wrote:

    Well at least the best one survives :P

  2. At 11:21 PM on 01 Mar 2008, Sophie wrote:


    Me and my friends went to see them and your just takin the mickey!! xx

    yoou are bein tight to take that nd i could bet yoou anything that all the take that fans will be flaming hot with anger!!

  3. At 01:14 PM on 19 Mar 2008, kittendothroar wrote:

    how dare you bury the lovely Gary!!!

    you are a horrible horrible person - I sentence you to 48 hours in a locked room listening to take that cds until you admit you love them!!!

    [How big is the room? How loud are the CDs? Is there a comfy chair? This could be fun! - Fraser]

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