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Classified Ads - 26/11/07

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Fraser McAlpine | 19:55 UK time, Monday, 26 November 2007




-------------------
FOR SALE
-------------------
Magic shoes.
Will do all your dancing
for you. Can also run.

Contact J. Penate,
if you can stop me.

-------------------
BRACE YOURSELVES!
-------------------
Leona is back!
Shayne is back!
You know what time it is, right?

Lots of love
Chico xxoxoxxoxxxooxx



-------------------
OH MY GOOD LORD
-------------------
Number ELEVEN?
Is that the best you
can do? And what was
that video all about?

Thank God for eyepatches,
is all I can say...
Pudsey

-------------------
MUSCULAR MAN, GSOH
-------------------
Would like to meet Craig
David fan for temporary companionship. Must have own thong (sexy),
miniskirt and stilettos.
Must love Craig David.

Craig Da...er...Usher





-------------------
DO YOU LIKE CHEESE?
-------------------
Me too! I love it!
Cheddar, Edam, Boursin
Dairylea...the lot!
I love it so much, people
say I'm (cream) crackers! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Alicia Cheese

-------------------
HOW TO PULL BIRDS
-------------------
It's easy! My foolproof
system works wonders.
Summink about babies,
summink about destiny,
and they'll do you, pronto!
Ring 0800 200 SEXX
Ask for Big Shayne



-------------------
COMING SOON!
-------------------
We let you pick the price
for our last album.
Next time, we'll let you
pick who sings!
Don't tell Thom tho!

Radiohead

-------------------
EXCITING NEW SERVICE!
-------------------
Does your rabble need
rousing? Is nobody doing
it for your kids? Do your
people need a band of?

Call Tom Thenemy. Reasonable rates.





-------------------
NEW, FOR XMAS!
-------------------
Play 'Call The Shops',
the home-delivery retail
telephone game.
Fun for all the family!
(Tesco Spice range not included)

From GA Games

-------------------
WANTED: ASSASSINS
-------------------
Someone needs to do to
Westlife what they did
to my song.
Over and over again.
Until they are dead.
Is my meaning clear?

Michael 'Corleone' Buble



-------------------
PUBLIC NOTICE
-------------------
OK! OK! I give in!
I'm still alive!
Now STOP RELEASING
ALL MY SONGS!
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

Elvis Presley
(yes really!)

-------------------
LOST: GOOD LUCK
-------------------
Has anyone seen it?
I'm sure I had it
a short while ago.
Britney
Yeah, me too! Mine
was rolled up in my shoe,
and now it doesn't fit.
Amy





-------------------
TV LISTINGS
-------------------
'In The Grime Garden'
Join Dizzee-Rizzee,
Bizzle-Pizzle,
Wiley-Miley & Rascally-Boo
in their magical kingdom.
This week: WileyMiley and
Rascally-Boo have a fight.
NOT for children.

-------------------
PERSONALS: TO DELILAH
-------------------
Would it kill you to reply?
C'mon, I wrote you a damn
SONG, and you can't even
send a POSTCARD?
That's just rude.

Pained White Ts



-------------------
SITUATIONS VACANT:
-------------------
Musical animals needed to
help flog back-catalogue.
RU a trumpeting giraffe?
Chimp guitarist? Ox pianist?
Drummer found already.

Contact P. Collins
with full CV

-------------------
PUBLIC APOLOGY
-------------------
OK, we can take a hint.
More clothes in the next
video, happy now?

The Spice Mums
(And Melanie C)


Here's a lovely popup with LOADS of old Classified Ads in...

Comments

  1. At 08:16 PM on 26 Nov 2007, Ray wrote:

    Post of the year :D

  2. At 04:23 PM on 27 Nov 2007, Lisa K wrote:

    I'll have the magic shoes Jack! LOL!!!

  3. At 06:40 PM on 27 Nov 2007, Kimberley wrote:

    This is really good. Giggled all the way through it. I especially like the Plain White T's one...you know that's what they really want to say after all this time with no reply! Well done!

  4. At 01:46 PM on 28 Nov 2007, Natalie wrote:

    I love that Shayne Ward and Leona Louis have voth a top 10 realsed song it they are amazingly talented and both absoutly gorgious


    love there fan
    Natz
    xxxx

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