Chart Report - 18/11/07
ChartSnipe: Unfortunately, being a hugely famous popstar doesn't always mean you get the attention you crave. Okay, so Leona may be the best thing to have ever emerged from The X Factor, she might be set to conquer America, her first single might have set a record for downloads, her album looks set to do big business, but amid all this - has no one noticed? The poor girl's been singing about a severe haemorrhaging problem every time someone points a microphone in her direction for weeks now, and not one person thought to wrap her up in a blanket and whisk her off to the nearest A&E. You're all so heartless. (SP)
2 - Take That - 'Rule The World'
ChartSnipe: Is there any band that's not staging a comeback right now? Take That are back for good, the Spice Girls are planning to reconquer the world, as are the Backstreet Boys, All Saints and the four-piece Five have been and gone, apparently even Boyzone are thinking about it (they've all been called to a Ronan Meeting). We're still holding out for the Reynolds Girls comeback tour. (SP)
3 - Timbaland pts. OneRepublic - 'Apologize'
ChartSnipe: Hey what's with all this sticking two words together and keeping the capital letter in the middle? What's wrong with calling your band One Republic, eh? Are you worried that people will get bored in between the first word and the second and so you have to rush them through the whole name just keep their attention? Or are you trying to be all iPod trendy? Well, you'd never catch ChartBlog doing anything as lame as that. Nosireebob. (FM)
4 - Kylie Minogue - '2 Hearts'
ChartSnipe: This isn't so much a single as it is a particularly blatant piece of product placement. I mean, who do we know that has two hearts? That's right: The Doctor. And who just happens to have a guest-starring role in this Christmas's Doctor Who special? Why, none other than Miss Kylie Minogue. WHAT A COINCIDENCE. You know, Kylie, when Billie Piper got the job, do you think she went away and made a pop song about it? No, she did not. Nobody likes a showoff, lady.
5 - Mark Ronson ft Amy Winehouse - 'Valerie'
ChartSnipe: "I miss your ginger hair", sings young Amy Winehouse, "and the way you like to dress". Which leaves one pretty urgent line of inquiry...How many people does she hang around with that DON'T like to dress? Enough that she misses the ones who do? Or has she drunk so much she now believes she's in a 24 hour nudist colony? Someone should check...