Armband Van Halen - A Brilliant New Game
Ever heard the expression 'tiny things please tiny minds'? Well, proof has finally arrived in the ChartBlog corporate HQ that we have just about the smallest brains this side of...hey, how do you spell amoeba anyway?
What other reason could there be for the incredible delight you can take in taking the name of a band or artist, and then changing the words a bit so it sounds rude, stupid...er, well basically either rude or stupid (did I mention this is for people with tiny minds? I did? Good, good).
It started with Armand Van Helden, the dance-boffin and Ali G lookie-likee. Something about his name lends itself to mucking about and changing words for other words which sound similar (yes, I'm talking about PUNS, the most degraded and groan-worthy of all the comedy elements...the annoyingly perky kid-brother to all that is chucklesome and laughable).
So, while the eyes and ears experience his name as 'Armand Van Helden', the (tiny) brain of the Pun Rocker can have great sport changing it to Alien Van Holding, or Arm Hand Span-Melding...or (the personal favourite of Team ChartBlog and the reason this game has the name it does) ARMBAND VAN HALEN.
Seriously, once you've hit upon a punning name that works, you won't ever want to go back to plain old reality again. Forget Armand, it's Mr Van Halen to you...
Here's just some of the clever tricks you can do when you reach the advanced levels of Armband Van Halen. Be warned though, you may have to speak some of these out loud to understand them. And there's a chance that when you do finally get some of the more fiddly ones, you'll wonder why you bothered. Remember, TINY MINDS...
Making Book Titles:
My Conical Grow-pants
A Brill Latrine
Picnic! At The Disco
Smacks Emo Park
Guys Are Cheese
Streaka (see also - Geeka, Wee-Car)
Foody Foody Foody FOO-DAY!:
Booze (see also Shoes, Poos, Lose, Ruse)
Coq Party (what? It's French for chicken!)
Silly Words Make Peeples Laff:
Fowl Own You, New Teeny
Nine Pence Nails
The Evening 'Ew!'s:
Lurgey (ft Poo-dacris)
Things Of Wee-On
Fancy a game? Over to you...best pun wins!
Feel free to have another go at band names I've already done...
Oh, and the REAL Armband Van Halen has a new album called 'Ghettoblaster' out on May 7th. Read about it on his MySpace page....