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Fun At The Brit Awards - Part 3

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Fraser McAlpine | 17:04 UK time, Wednesday, 14 February 2007

THINGS I HAVE MYSELF WITNESSED IN THE BACKSTAGE AREA...

Jake Shears out of the Scissor Sisters has bloody enormous feet. And in gold lame trousers as tight as the ones he is wearing, they look even bigger. And you know what they say about a man with big feet...big feet, big risk of a fall on the stairs...

NoelNoel Gallagher, you are a NAUGHTY PERSON'S HERO for announcing live on Radio 1 that Justin Timberlake has won his category, just because you happened to see the video for his acceptance speech being played on ALL of the TV screens in the backstage media area. This is a degree of attention to detail which can only be described as Sherlock Holmesian. Not that I'm saying Justin HAS won, of course...that was Noel. Don't mention the Arctic Monkeys either, OK?

Stephen Tyler from out of Aerosmith, father of Liv Tyler the elf lady out of Lord Of The Rings, and a man who is ROCK in the same way that a boulder with lava all over it, sitting on a stony beach is ROCK. His preferred stance is that wide-legged cowboy pose which ROCKERS always stand in. Y'know, like their legs could form the letter 'A', if you put a shelf from one knee to the other. And on a young pretender like Donny Tourette, this kind of body shape would seem sad in the extreme. But for STEPHEN BLOODY TYLER OUT OF AEROSMITH, it's merely the appropriate stance for THE JOB...

There's a bloke here whose job it is to drive a remote control mini around which is branded with the Brits insignia. HEDONISM, THY NAME IS BRITS!

NoelJust a minor point. Snow Patrol appeared on Scott Mills's show, and said they don't get nervous before gigs any more, Is it too rude to suggest that if perhaps they did get a little rattled from time to time, they might be better at what they do? It IS? OK, I'll say nowt...

Peaches Geldof and Alex Zane apparently had a little trouble getting into the red carpet artists entrance. This may be because Alex Zane is not an artist, and Peaches Geldof is not an enclosure...or IS SHE?

Take That

Watching Take That soundcheck on their super glittery set, with the Take That logo on the stage itself, a couple of interesting questions arise:

1: What has Mark Owen done to his hand? He won't tell me...
2: The set, which is huge and stunning - like a massive shower curtain made of glitterball - looks much smaller on telly (don't sneer, it's smaller than you'd expect, even on a really big TV) and actually makes the band look like they're on a bizarre episode of Top of the Pops, from an alternate future where the show never stopped and the That never split up.
3. If you don't keep your interview appointments, you won't get to be interviewed, even if you are Take That, and the people who want to interview you are Radio 1. This is because Radio 1 are talking to Noel Gallagher, and then the Scissor Sisters. AND YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE HERE 20 MINUTES AGO.

Joss Stone, live on Radio 1, apart from swearing like a trouper, admitted she has no idea who Russell Brand is. This is the girl who turned up at the Band8 recording with not much clue as to who Bob 'Gandalf' is. Girlfriend, you need to DO YOUR RESEARCH!

Fun At The Brit Awards - Part 1
Fun At The Brit Awards - Part 2
Fun At The Brit Awards - Part 3
Fun At The Brit Awards - Part 4
Fun At The Brit Awards - Part 5

Comments

  1. At 06:41 PM on 14 Feb 2007, neil wrote:

    your webcam aint wokring fella?

  2. At 07:03 PM on 14 Feb 2007, Willow wrote:

    Oh dear Joss Stone, when will you learn? You are from Devon and therefore should sound like a farmer. You are not, and I repeat, not Aretha Franklin...

  3. At 07:45 PM on 14 Feb 2007, tbip wrote:

    anyone else notice the comedy beard on one of the security guards on the red carpet. worth enduring the shocking itv2 build up to witness it! check it

  4. At 09:00 PM on 14 Feb 2007, ellie wrote:

    mark owen fell off a ladder while he was changing a lightbulb. he told NOW magazine a few weeks ago...

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