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Chart Report - 04/02/07

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Fraser McAlpine | 10:07 UK time, Monday, 5 February 2007

THE TOP 5...

Click on song titles for ChartBlog review and media.
  1 MIKA 'GRACE KELLY' Official Site
  2 FALL OUT BOY 'THIS AIN'T A SCENE...' Official Site
  3 JUST JACK 'STARZ IN THEIR EYES' Official Site
  4 BLOC PARTY 'THE PRAYER' Official Site
  5 MASON vs. PRINCESS SUPERSTAR 'PERFECT (EXCEEDER)' Official Site
The entire Top 40 is right here...

So, Mika's single finally became available in the shops, and do you know what? It went straight to No.1! This must be an especially sweet victory for the helium-throated curly-top, as the song that the CD of 'Grace Kelly' has knocked from the top spot is none other than the iPod-erised 'Grace Kelly', by Mika.

Mp3 playersNow, to the untrained ear, it might sound like there's no difference between the download-only 'Grace Kelly' and the CD-and-download 'Grace Kelly'. And for once, the untrained ear is right. There IS no difference. In fact, the handover from the only-available-online situation to the properly-available-in-shops situation has been so uneventful that you have to wonder why a Chart Commentary such as this would feel the need to mention it.

A very badly damaged CDAnd if you were wondering such a thing, I have no satisfactory answers for you...in fact, I'm amazed I'm still talking about it. You'd have thought it only really merited a casual mention, like a few words in passing, just to congratulate Mika on his third week at No.1, and to say that sales of his song have been bolstered by first-week sales of the CD version.

Something like that would've been perfect, rather than a great big rambling hunk of nonsense. Bah! If only you could go back and re-write these things and start again. Like delete everything that had already been written and start with a clean screen, then stick to the facts, just say what's needed to be said and then move on. Oh how I dream of such technology becoming available, that would be AMAZING.

MikaAs it is, you, the poor ChartBloggerer, have had to put up with this seemingly endless scree of formless words, rambling on and on, with no real point, no over-arching theme, no tension or release, no entertainment value and no reward for reading all the way to the end. In fact, anyone who has made it this far really deserves some kind of prize, but is there one on offer? There is not...

...BOY I'd be fed up if that were me. I'd feel duped. I don't know that I could ever fully trust people again. I'd wonder why life could treat me so shabbily, and I'd probably want to attack anyone I met who pretended to be acting for the good of mankind. Like I'd go for a walk down the high street, and if anyone came near me, shaking a collection tin and wearing a tabard with the name of a charity on it, why, I'd probably tie their shoelaces together, knock their clipboard to the floor and spill lemonade on it.

Yeah. THAT fed up!

Oh, and the other thing I wanted to say is well done to Fall Out Boy for getting to No.2.

That's all. No reason to bang on about it, is there?

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