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Blog Party - Gerard Way Out Of My Chemical Romance

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Fraser McAlpine | 20:05 UK time, Thursday, 22 February 2007

Gerard WayTo keep their feet rooted on the ground, a lot of famous people have hobbies or second jobs. Many start their own record label like Pete Wentz, some like to paint, or write food features for a newspaper, like Alex Franz does. So, what sort of thing does Gerard Way Out Of My Chemical Romance* like to do when his Black Parading is all finished? Well, here's an excerpt from a blog which offers some clues...

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February 22nd: Of course, it's this time of year I hate the most. I can deal with the spring, there's not a wooden object in the world which doesn't remember the thrill of that sudden rush of sap to the branches that comes in the springtime...summer is fine so long as there's children around to take me down and put me in their fort in the garden from time to time...and once we're into autumn - or 'fall', as I should really call it - then the blossom in my wooden heart starts to bloom, fruit grows and falls and we're heading towards the peak of my year...my DESTINY...

But it's these early months that I really hate. January, February...cold months with the stale odour of defeat about them. A lost and frozen wasteland in which all that is good and joyous about the world gets taken down, packed away in battered cardboard boxes and put in the loft. Then all that remains is a houseful of stark, echoey, booming rooms, all draught and shadow..at one with the void.

It would be alright if I had something to look forward to. I mean, there's really only one festival which makes good use of my special talents and once that's over, I'm shelved again. It's not like people feel the need to crack open a brazil or mash an almond at Easter, is it? May Day seems to be about dew, as far as I can tell, with no room for anything as substantial as the crisp crack of hazel shell under the intense pressure of my mighty jaws.

Gerard WayThen there's all of those 'hard to define' public holidays. I ask you, Whitsun...what is it FOR? If someone really put the effort into it, maybe the Whitsun bank holiday could become associated with something truly wonderful, like the the sudden snap and crunch of an obstinate walnut shell after half a minute or so of constant frustration squeeze. That would make the New Year lull almost worth it, the thought of being brought back down to wreak havoc upon a bowlful of nature's finest snackfood, a few scant months after the last time. How that would cheer my sanded soul.

And then there is that painted jade, the August Bank Holiday. As I mentioned, there is something to be said for being taken from my shelf and given a job to do, such as lookout duty in a sandcastle, or to be the primitive torture device should a child wish to interrogate one of their own soldiers, or friends, now I come to think of it. But when it comes to my REAL purpose, the application of pressure on a stubborn shell, well, August is as much of a washout as any other time, except the humans do occasionally put crushed nuts on their ice-creams. But do they ask me to do the crushing for them? They do not.

Now Christmas, that's MY time! I doubt there's anyone reading this that truly knows the full glory of feeling a fresh macadamia give way beneath your teeth, while still holding fragments of all the other nuts you have smashed open in the last hour. It's the closest a wooden man can come to Godliness, which is why it is apt that such a feeling should be associated with a similarly holy time of year for the humans.

walnuts.jpg

Of course, Christmas isn't without its own share of dark times. One year, my owners put the traditional bowl of nuts out, and right on the top, insolently quiet, was a METAL NUT-CRACKER. And there it stayed for two full days. I had to watch in silence as drunken uncles, sullen teens, bored dads and flushed aunties used this...this...ABOMINATION to crack the very nuts which I had been LATHED for. THE HUMILIATION!

Thankfully one of the children grabbed it and hit his sister across the head with it, and that meant it had to be hidden in a drawer and there it stayed, forgotten for the rest of the festive period. By the following year everything was back to normal.

nutcracker.jpgAnd then there was the year the family bought peanuts instead of their usual healthy selection bag. Peanuts which anyone - man, woman, child - can peel with their bare fingers. I ask you, it is hardly festive if mere AMATEURS are doing the work of a PROFESSIONAL, is it?

But, even with all these problems, Christmas is still the time when I feel most alive. And now it's finished for another year, I'm just going to have to wait it out until the family want nuts again.

(sigh) Yes, there is only one time of yeah which I truly love, and this isn't it...

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*OK, OK, so it's not really him and we're pretending he's a wooden nutcracker just for fun, so sue me...actually, please don't. I'm ever so nice really!

Comments

  1. At 03:27 PM on 22 Feb 2007, Craig wrote:

    Simply WTF.

    Slightly amusing, I guess.

  2. At 03:03 PM on 23 Feb 2007, tom wrote:

    ooh *surreal*

  3. At 02:42 PM on 05 Mar 2007, emily wrote:

    wey hey u luv me hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!! lololololol

  4. At 08:18 PM on 09 Mar 2007, Morgan wrote:

    I FREAKIN LOVE MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE...........I LISTEN TO THEM EVERY DAY..........mie friends say i am a little obsesed but i mean rnt u??.......in fact i am wearing a three cheers for sweet revenge tshirt right now i wore a black parade one two days ago..........i have all of their cds......well i gots to go.......i love them so much.......when mie parents got a divorce and mie mom was in the hospital ......i didnt think i could take life nemore soo i thought about suicide....but then i found out about gerard and how he handled his problems..........and that has given me the powa to take each day as it comes..............and live it to the fullest.......well love you lots...
    -morgan...

    [And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is why music isn't just a lifestyle accesory. MCR haters can sneer if they like, but you can't deny they're doing good things for the people that love them. Plus I think Gerard looks amazing as a nutcracker, don't you? - Fraser]

  5. At 06:18 PM on 12 Mar 2007, emma mccaffery wrote:

    i love gerard event tho im from england n hes way out my leauge i love him!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kisses

  6. At 04:18 AM on 16 Mar 2007, Anonymous wrote:

    shfizle

  7. At 01:39 PM on 17 Mar 2007, Vicky wrote:

    WTF is this?!?!? I love Gerard Way and making this page is torturing him and the rest of My Chemical Romance... BBC1 Radio, you deserve to die!

    [Wow. So what you're saying is that despite battling addictions, depression, idiots at festivals throwing bottles at him etc...Gerard Way's own personal kryptonite is being compared to a nutcracker because of his tunic? Who knew? - Fraser]

  8. At 09:10 PM on 17 Mar 2007, Master Dog wrote:

    i dunno wat diz is but MCR r whorsum & so is evanesance!!!

  9. At 12:14 PM on 21 Mar 2007, Sully wrote:

    i think Gerard Way iz hot as ****

  10. At 04:21 PM on 25 Mar 2007, Becky wrote:

    wtf??????

  11. At 03:20 PM on 04 Apr 2007, KJ g wrote:

    i love MCR os much. i've seen them 2 times both in Glasgow, they were awesome. i totally love frontman Gerard Way he is so hotttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. At 08:40 PM on 05 Apr 2007, ellie wrote:

    this is... bizzare.
    before i go any further, i adore the MCR guys, and Gerard is my hero, but i have to admit, this was quite good.
    the picture freaks me out though. xD

  13. At 01:54 PM on 07 Apr 2007, Kerri wrote:

    okkk, wat exactly is the point in this article? if u really were wondering wat he likes than the answer is obvious if u really know anything about him. its art, and films, but mainly art. he has a comic book called the umbrella academy coming out soon in america, lets hope here 2. before mcr he wanted to be an artist, and got his work called the breakfast monkey turned down cus it was apparently too similar to aqua teen hunger force (sum american thing) even tho really they r nothing alike. check it out on u tube, its great (the breakfast monkey that is). anyway, hes my greatest inspiration and i love him. my friends thing im obsessed an one only knows me as mcr nerd-girl..i dont mind tho :P hes soo hot. next time please make a proper article as it would be quite interesting to read. thankies :P xx

  14. At 09:35 PM on 07 Apr 2007, Kerri wrote:

    also happy 30th birthday for monday 9th! theres no way you look that old....and sooo hot! :P

  15. At 09:12 AM on 08 Apr 2007, JT wrote:

    No way he looks that old? No way he ACTS that old, more like!

  16. At 04:22 PM on 08 Apr 2007, Kerri wrote:

    let me guess, ur a guy whos jealous cus ur not gonna look like that wen ur his age. neway, wat exactly do u mean wen u say he doesnt act his age?

  17. At 08:47 PM on 08 Apr 2007, JT wrote:

    No way will I look like him when I'm 30, because I wouldn't be seen dead with white hair, black eyeliner and army jackets, mate!

  18. At 09:03 PM on 09 Apr 2007, Kerri wrote:

    ok, so the blonde hair didnt look as good as the black but he dyed his hair to adopt the character of the 'patient' in the black parade album so strictly speaking it helped make better music. as for the eye liner that only makes him look hotter and the black parade outfit is very cool, its something you associate the whole band with. anyway, how old are you, about 12?! you sound about 40, like a parent who doesnt like their kid having his posters on their walls... and oh yeah, clearly your not a gerard fan so why excatly are you reading a blog thats dedicated to him...mate!?!

  19. At 05:06 PM on 10 Apr 2007, JT wrote:

    I'm reading this blog because I enjoy ChartBlog taking the mick out of him!

    [Can I just say that the official ChartBlog line on Gerard Way and My Chemical Romance is that they are great and that 'The Black Parade' is astonishing. But that's a Nutcracker's jacket he's got on. Right. Back to the shouting...ready, steady...GO! - Fraser]

  20. At 11:25 PM on 10 Apr 2007, Kerri wrote:

    so are you trying to say that it is morally acceptable in your opinion to attempt (attempt being the key word there) to ridicule someone who along with the rest of mcr have saved many people in their lowest hour? gerard is an inspiration, clearly you have no idea of where he came from and has got through to come out stronger. that shows the rest of us that yeah there will be tough times but you have to battle against them, such as gerards alcohol addiction, to make yourself a better, stronger person in the long run and that you can acheive anything you set your mind to. so many people owe this man! im one of them! one day ur bound to experience a time when ur feeling low and dont know where else to turn, well mcr is where i turn and its helped so much. i know you wont understand that but you should alteast respect it. hes an amazing person.

    [Kerri, calm down, It's brilliant that you get so much out of the music of My Chemical Romance, and, as I said in the comment above, so do I (check out Morgan's comment too). It doesn't mean Gerard Way is above some mild ribbing, and that mild ribbing doesn't mean he's not respected. C'mon, the man knows what he's doing is brilliantly preposterous and preposterously brilliant, and so do we. You might not think this 'fake blog' feature is funny, but it's certainly not morally wrong. - Fraser]

  21. At 01:15 AM on 11 Apr 2007, Rob wrote:

    How DARE you. Get out. Just go. Seriously, the black parde are coming to get you. It'll be "The End" for u if u diss Gerard Way, MATE.... cause the black parade will come to your house.... hear that? What.... they're in! Gerard's outside your door! You shud defend urself! Frank Iero may be short, but don't let size fool u mate lol

  22. At 01:18 AM on 11 Apr 2007, Kerri wrote:

    yeah, sorry, i think iv got a bit carried away...it doesnt mean i didnt mean it though! but yeah maybe iv been a tad extreme.....sorry :S

    [Aww. It's OK. Nothing you said was factually wrong. And I'm really happy that you love MCR as much as you do A band like that NEED to have people like you as fans. Anyway, all sorted now. Everyone shake hands! - Fraser]

  23. At 09:42 PM on 11 Apr 2007, Kerri wrote:

    aww thanks fraser, i mite not like this article or wat u sed in the article bout i dont love you but really, deep down u rock!

    [SHHH! You can't tell anyone! I like to keep it hidden ;-) - Fraser]

  24. At 09:57 PM on 11 Apr 2007, Kerri wrote:

    okiee, ill keep it 2 myself. dont worry, its not like im gonna write bout it on a bbc blog that anyone can access or anything! :P

    [Attagirl! - Fraser]

  25. At 10:13 PM on 11 Apr 2007, Kerri wrote:

    iv been on the chart blog myspace and added you guys which is a good site btw. are there any plans for doing a blog bout the black parade tour or anything? that wud b a great one, well, if you didnt take the mick anyway tehee

    [All I can say is that I will TRY and be very nice. What I would add is that there is a plan afoot to do more MCR content on the blog. But I can't say any more than that as yet. Keep coming back to find out more - Fraser]

  26. At 05:45 PM on 12 Apr 2007, Maria wrote:

    i did not kno wot on earth that was, but MCR r BRILL!!!!

  27. At 08:00 PM on 12 Apr 2007, Bloo wrote:

    Woah.

    Some people need to chill.


    It's pretty weird...but made me chuckle a few times.

  28. At 11:57 PM on 12 Apr 2007, cami wrote:

    gosh that's stupid and your stupider

    [Yeah well so what. You're stupidEST. So ner. Lots of love. Fraser]

  29. At 02:38 PM on 13 Apr 2007, JT wrote:

    "Brilliantly preposterous and preposterously brilliant, and so do we?" You only think that because at 1 click of Gerard's fingers, 1000000 emo-girls will come and kill you if you insult him!

    [Ooh! That's a thought, isn't it? I mean, what a way to go, ripped apart by shemos! Right, Gerard Way? You are a TOTAL STINKBUM AND GITFACE! I'll be waiting in the garden if anyone needs me. - Fraser]

  30. At 03:47 PM on 13 Apr 2007, rosalie wrote:

    i love mcr

  31. At 06:10 PM on 13 Apr 2007, Kerri wrote:

    oh yeah, 'JT' (use ur real name why dont u?!), cus this is article comparing him to the nutcracker is a real compliment! and no, your wrong cus '1000000 emo-girls' arent gonna kill fraser! i was being extreme before and i admitted it, now its your turn!

  32. At 07:53 PM on 13 Apr 2007, Rob wrote:

    Ok, "JT", ur absolutely right. Absolutely, I couldn't agree more. Uhuh. Oh but hey, you should never, EVER diss gerard way in FRONT of and emo girl who likes and respects him.... cause then, yeah, you'll die. A well deserved, gruesome death... and you'll only have urself to blame. And what DOES "JT" stand for by the way? Juvenile Twonker or something? (I'm trying to be nice, i can come up with worse, but this is a BBC blog after all lol).

  33. At 09:50 PM on 13 Apr 2007, Seth wrote:

    ive come to the conclusion that JT's jealous cos 1000000 emo girls wont do his bidding

  34. At 10:42 PM on 13 Apr 2007, Seth wrote:

    seriously "JT", what do you intend to accomplish by insulting fraser and anyone who likes MCR or Gerard Way?

  35. At 11:22 PM on 13 Apr 2007, lucy wrote:

    hey ppl i love mcr sooo much i love gerard way if i met him i would die i am relly upset at the mo ;( coz my mum got me all excited coz she told me that they were gonna be on friday night with jonathon ross 2 day and they wernt i just burst out in tears and run off, they make me feel so much better on a cruddy day i got there new album in feb 4 my b-day and havent changed the cd yet....my m8s say i am a little obsessed coz i never stop talkin bout dem and have pics of dem in my locker in my rom in my school books on my school books but u know u gotta love dem any way got 2 go luv yall lucy x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

  36. At 12:53 PM on 15 Apr 2007, Jade wrote:

    JT...JT???!!!
    as in...Justin Timberlake??? or u wanna be him? who knos...who cares?? but all i can say is...u cant be bringing sexy back cus there aint 1 emo (sorry not even a person, animal or object) let alone 1000000 that will come do ur bidding mate.
    kezza i agree with u...even if u are a tad over the top sometimes but hey! much loves.
    back to this JT twirp...u never actually answer the multiple questions on how old u are...being that...u can count them off with one hand only...or are just too stupid...eithers good =]
    well...am off now. my ripping is done for the day & now i am content...until next time

    [I actually thought JT's joke was pretty funny. - Fraser]

  37. At 06:58 PM on 19 Apr 2007, Anonymous wrote:

    i dunno hw peeps like MCR their depressin

  38. At 10:37 PM on 19 Apr 2007, Kerri wrote:

    i understand why you think theyr depressing but if you look a little deeper youll see that in reality theyr inspiring :D take the black parade album for example, with songs named for example cancer and dead youd think that this would be a sure fire way to make you upset. in reality thats not what this album is about. i found this quote from ray toro a bit ago about this album which i think is really great. it says "To ignore death and to be afraid of it is dumb because everyone is going to face it at some point,” says Toro. “If you look at death and the reality of it, you realize that we’re all going to die, so let’s use this time on Earth to be positive and do good things. That’s the point of this record.” see, its meant to inspire you about the good things in life!

  39. At 03:13 PM on 21 Apr 2007, Anonymous wrote:

    i luvvv gerard way!!!!!!!1

  40. At 04:47 PM on 04 May 2007, Dodger wrote:

    WILL EVERYONE JUST CHILL? Its only a blog for goodness sake, get over it! Just because Fraser gave Gerard Way a little 'mild ribbing' dosen't mean he is going to get torn apart by shemos!

    Dodger lol :) xxxxx

  41. At 04:50 PM on 04 May 2007, alex wrote:

    I LOVE U WAY SO SO SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  42. At 01:56 PM on 12 May 2007, Naz wrote:

    I L♥VE MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE! I absolutley hate it when people with nothing better to do say that they are influincing people to self harm, comitt suicide, or what not when people have cojme out of depressions because of their songs, so, just.. all y'all who say those stupid things without doing your homewrok.... go away. :( I mean look at the song teenagers, does that encourage self harm etc. No, it's trying to prevent it, and whenever you go to a My Chemical Romance show, Gerard Way always says things to show how uncool these things are. He's been through bad times and he didn't like it. Why would he mould young minds into going through what he did?! He wouldn't. He is a great rolemodel. Sorry i'm getting all speech on y'all! Love y'all MCR fans and I love MCR!!!!!! xxx Gerard Way, Mikey Way, Frank Iero, Ray Toro, Bob Bryar. Rock on and I am a huge fan!!!!!!!

  43. At 08:06 PM on 12 May 2007, Rachel wrote:

    OMG I love MCR....my best mate says im obsessed lolz. You know when people say a band has saved their life and people say thats stupid? well, its true. seriously. mcr have basically saved my life. they seem really down to earth when i see them in interviews and stuff. anyay.....love them. bye people!
    xxxxxxxxxx

  44. At 12:03 PM on 15 Jun 2007, Laura wrote:

    I like MCR likeee, but, I also love making fun of them because it gets one of my friends really worked up. I mean she only wants Gerard in her bed like every night for the rest of her life.


    [Insane!]


    + Frank Iero & Bob Bryar are better looking then Gerard. Fo'shizzle.

  45. At 08:50 AM on 03 Jul 2007, emx wrote:

    i love my chemical romance!

  46. At 07:20 PM on 06 Jul 2007, My chem lover wrote:

    i love my chemical romance they rock and always will all my friends now they do to


    WE LOVE GERARD xxxxxxxxxxxxx

  47. At 12:45 PM on 16 Jul 2007, vera vex wrote:

    dis story waz really wiered bt it did av a few funny bits in it though. i did have 2 read it twice b4 i knew that dey wer on about a nut kracker lol. keep up da good work xoxoxoxox

  48. At 04:03 PM on 29 Jul 2007, Alex wrote:

    To be honest i dont think it really matter what Gerard way does in his own time or when ever really!!!!
    And really all i want to know is what are My Chemical Romance as a group gonna do as like they said there is no chance they can beat The black parade album.
    So as a huge huge huge fan i really hope they can come up with another idea and do another album beacause i totally love them and i listen to them everyday and i would really hate it if that was the end of MCR.xxx

  49. At 09:46 PM on 29 Jul 2007, Kerri wrote:

    good news alex, according to kerrang mag gerard has told them that the band are working on a new album! i cant wait! :D

  50. At 05:35 AM on 09 Aug 2007, scott wrote:

    i love mcr there my fav band oh and bullet for my valentine but any waay I LOVE MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE but i like frank iero more than Gerard Way

  51. At 07:50 AM on 29 Sep 2007, joy wrote:

    I Love you Gerard !!!! I love u so much !!!!!! I'm Indonesian !!! U is a cooL man !!!! Kisses !!!!!!! I LOVE MCR !!!!!!!

  52. At 08:35 PM on 03 Oct 2007, kathie wrote:

    you guys rock 1 i luv the song teenagers and black parade. when i'm upset these guys help me calm down so when i 'm mad i just put their cd in and i 'm fine these guys are very impressive.plus gerard your so hot i hope you see this .love ,peace ,and chicken grease bye

  53. At 01:59 PM on 04 Oct 2007, sali wrote:

    I LUV MCR. They rok. they help me so much. when im angry or upset i put the black parade on n im beta. Gerard luv u. My sis luvs mikey. luv all ya songs

  54. At 06:50 PM on 04 Nov 2007, Chloee wrote:

    Hang on...was that meant to be funny?
    You suck dude

  55. At 07:20 PM on 29 Nov 2007, sHake`me ;] wrote:

    SurrEaL xD

  56. At 11:11 PM on 05 Dec 2007, Bella wrote:

    wow man tha'ts very deep

  57. At 11:14 PM on 05 Dec 2007, Bella wrote:

    why oh why did he die his hair white? it looks good and everything but is there a reason behind it? People always do things for reasons right?

  58. At 01:47 PM on 15 Dec 2007, sofiaway wrote:

    you are so stupid -_-"

  59. At 04:39 PM on 20 Dec 2007, eileenmarie wrote:

    hi i am a very big fan of my chemical roamance but i never liked them until i heard there music and even if my chemical roamcne ever do spilt up i will still love them

  60. At 05:31 PM on 20 Dec 2007, Lawl wrote:

    i wuv gee he's so natural & truthful lawl

  61. At 01:31 AM on 09 Jan 2008, Sarahl wrote:

    Ha ha ha! As hilarious as that woz, i kinda knew it wasn't the real Mr Way! Lol. Hell yeah! Btw, I wud let Gerard crush nuts 4 me ANYTIME! He can even use his nutcracker, if he wants! Heh heh! ;-)

  62. At 05:38 PM on 19 Mar 2008, gee_love wrote:

    mirad, tios no se de que vais pero me caeis fatal. sois uno pedazo de pavuncios.

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