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Cherry Has a Baby: One Year On

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Cherry Healey Cherry Healey | 15:11 UK time, Monday, 13 September 2010

Last weekend was my daughter's first birthday. SAY WHAT?!! I have a daughter?!? I am responsible for another human life?!? I am...no...I can barely bring myself to say it...a PARENT!?!

I am 29 but I still don't feel grown up enough to have a human baby. But I do have one. As I write this, she is putting the contents of my make-up bag into the dishwasher.

Cherry Has a Baby (Cherry Healey and Sophia Sigawale)

Cherry Has a Baby (Cherry Healey and Sophia Sigawale)

It's odd to think of myself 15 months ago. I'd just found out I was up the duff and I was a nervous wreck. I found out on my lunchbreak from work. I was just pottering about, vacantly munching on my tuna sarnie, when it dawned on me that I was really late. And my boobs felt unusually large. And...uh oh. But I had a coil and so surely I couldn't be preggers? I was in fact so sure, that when I took the test I didn't even stop listening to Usher on my iPod. But, after being quite amused at having to wee on a stick, there it was. The little blue '+'. So small, so innocent. So unbelievably life changing.
Cherry Has a Baby (Cherry Healey)


I was scared about becoming a mother for so many reasons. How could I deal with the torture of childbirth? Could we afford it? Would I be a good enough mum? Would I lose my own identity? I spent the next 9 months trying to understand my feelings in a bid to become 'ready' for motherhood. A few things did help. Whilst making the documentary Cherry Has a Baby for BBC Three, I met some wonderful women, one of whom had a fabulous philosophy about giving birth. She firmly believed that it was nothing to worry about - our bodies are designed to give birth and that being scared would only hinder the process. Whilst I was still overwhelmed at the thought of becoming a mum, I was at least reassured about labour.
But no matter how many books I read or people I spoke to, I couldn't seem to make peace with the idea of motherhood. And in the end, it wasn't until my daughter arrived that my maternal instincts kicked in.

Now my daughter is one year old. And I can't believe it, but I love being her mum. Of course there have been highs and lows. Over the past 12 months I've had to become more organised, and it can be hard getting enough sleep, but I've learnt lots along the way. So here are ten things I want to share:

CHERRY'S TOP TEN BABY SURVIVAL TIPS

1. OK, I won't lie. Childbirth is no picnic. BUT there are now so many options available to make it more comfortable, there really isn't any reason at all to be scared.

2. You are eating for two but in QUALITY, not quantity. Your little bean is really little. It doesn't need a bag of doughnuts. (I only learnt this after month 3!)

3. In ante-natal class they teach you about perineal massage and pelvic floor exercises. They are gross, but do them. They really help.

4. Give in to spandex and maternity tights. They are amazing.

5. Don't spend a fortune on baby stuff. Second hand/hand-me-down/borrowed stuff is brilliant. They grow out of/get bored of most things in 5 minutes anyway.

6. Don't listen to people who spread doom and gloom about parenthood. If it's so bad, why do so many people have more than one?!

7. You won't lose your identity. The structure of your life will change, but you can still be the same person. Having a baby does not equal a lobotomy.

8. Sleep is precious. Try everything within your power to get enough. If you're really tired, it's hard to feel good about anything.

9. Babies are really funny. You will probably think your baby is the funniest person on the planet.

10. Look after each other. Whether that's a boyfriend, girlfriend, hubbie, wife, friend or family member - your support network is incredibly important.

It's been a really steep learning curve, and whilst I still make mistakes all the time, a year on I can say with confidence that I wouldn't change it for the world.

Cherry Healey presents Cherry Has a Baby tonight at 9pm on BBC Three. And check back here next week as Cherry will be writing a blog post about meeting brides of different ages for her next programme Cherry Gets Married, which you can watch on Monday 20th September at 9pm.

Comments

  • Comment number 1.

    I am 20 and pregnant with my first child. I watched Cherry has a baby tonight and I have to say that I was terrified of labour but watching the show has made me feel so much better about it all. Kirstienbump 16 weeks pregnant

  • Comment number 2.

    Really enjoyed watching Stacey's beautiful birth in the pool at home.If it wasn't for HypnoBirthing which wasn't mentioned she would never have remained so calm and relaxed throughout and even smile through it.I hope she inspires many more women to choose Hypnobirthing for the birth of their baby.Well Done Stacey!!

  • Comment number 3.

    Oh my goodness this was AMAZING I loved every second, well done bbc three and well done Cherry your baby girl is a wonderful gift, long may you enjoy every second with her.
    Keep up the good work !

  • Comment number 4.

    You are amazing! How long have I just wanted someone to tell me their REAL thoughts and opinions about pregnancy. All I get from new mums is: I can't remember anything really- once you have the baby it's all worth it. Well, that has never helped me get my head around pregnancy and child birth. You shown the true side of pregnacy and I now know I'm truely ready to have my baby next year. I'm 26 now and I've always said by time I'm 27 I want to be pregnant- I guess I can now put it down to my eggs decreasing and my egg timer bleeping (well that's what I'm going to tell my boyfriend!ha ha ha)
    Wicked and educational- you've made it girl!

  • Comment number 5.

    What a fantastic programme! I must admit to shedding a tear as Cherry's daughter was born. My son is 9 months old and I still remember what an amazing and terrifying experience pregnancy and childbirth is. I think Cherry will have helped reassure many pregnant women with her experiences. Well done Cherry and BBC Three

  • Comment number 6.

    I would like to say a massive thank you!! i am 29 & am 8 days over due!! I was getting more & more scared as the days go on, but after watching your programme you have reassured me & i really cant wait to meet my baby!!


    Would also love to know how the other 2 ladies on the programme have got on, the ladie expecting twins & i think the other ladie was called Leigh x

  • Comment number 7.

    I am also 20 and pregnant with my first, nearly hitting the 3 month mark! I have already been have quiet a akward time getting around the idea of childbirth, this documentary has put my mind at ease (a little bit!:O ), i think it is great the way it has been filmed, finally something real life and with real opinions and views, best wishes to yourself and your daughter cherry! x

  • Comment number 8.

    Absolutely loved the show! :) Im 21, and I have a little boy who is 7months old. totally unexpected pregnancy, i was little miss weekend bender and ultimate partygirl BUT having my little boy was the best thing that happened to me. Ive totally turned my life around. And alot of times, I do feel im missing out on so much while my mates be young and crazy. But it soooooooooooo true! if i was older, i would have missed alot more important things but since i never experienced them, its not that bad! :) SO Im 21, married and with a 7month old baby.. Im happy and thats all that matters. Amazing show.... :)

  • Comment number 9.

    Hi, im 19 and a mummy to my little girl miley mae whos now 8 month old. I found out i was pregnant at 18 we didnt plan the baby but like cherry i didnt know if i was the rite age!! Havin my baby was the best thing that happemed to me!! It hasnt changed me as a person at all or my partener who is in the army and im doing home study so i dont miss a minute of my princesses life. Nothing can prepare you for motherhood but everything yu are told before hand is just what yu can expect everything else you learn along the way.x

  • Comment number 10.

    What a great documentary. It is so refreshing to see someone live the reality of pregnancy and not the stereotypical 'everything about being pregnant is wonderful'. I'm sure that Cherry's experience is the norm for most women but I think that many women feel pressured to tell everyone that all is wonderful for fear that they will be judged on their suitability to be a parent. My amazing little boy was born 2 and a half years ago with just a bit of assistance from a birthing pool and some gas and air. Having said that I am now 33 weeks pregnant with my second child and although I know that I have been through it before and lived to tell the tale, in actual fact I know what is about to happen and exactly how painful it is so I have been terrified for the last 7 months! This program has reminded me about the beauty of becoming a parent. Suddenly I don't feel quite as scared, I've done it before and I'll do it again. Thanks Cherry that was just what I needed to watch!

  • Comment number 11.

    oooohhhh birth isnt all that bad ive got 4 babies all without pain releif might i add i love being pregnant and i love labour

    ladies you will be fine.

    it cant be that bad as millions of women have gone back and done it again.

    its amazing relish it whilst your young enough, please


    xxx

  • Comment number 12.

    Lovely, lovely, I thoroughly enjoyed the it. Thanks Cheryl for taking us on your journey.I started watching a bit skeptical about what to expect but i ended up loving it. Couldn't take my eyes off till the telly from start to finish. So... having a baby is actually as complicated as its made out to be...lol.
    Great piece!!!

  • Comment number 13.

    Hey Cherry, I NEVER post on these blog things but just thought your documentary was fantastic. I actually was about to turn it off at the beginning because I had once MISTAKENLY watched a woman give birth and was traumatised but your show has completely changed my view. I am a 35 year old woman with no children and between partners (and also still not ready for children) so it was unbeliebably reassuring to see such a variety of women and ages being represented. I think you are a brilliant presenter and hope to see more of you on tv. Best of luck and kisses for Coco.

  • Comment number 14.

    Watched the program tonight, well, half of it as I had to deal with a screaming fit followed by a quick feed.
    Hi, my name is Phillipa and I have a little girl named Alice, she is 7months old, today actually (13th)!
    When I found out I was pregnant it came as a big big surprise, after being told I had poly cystic ovaries at the age of 15, then having a miscarriage 4 months before falling pregnant with Alice, my partner and I where very shocked indeed. After miscarrying at 17 weeks, my personal relationship broke down, but none the less, I wanted my baby, even if he didn't.
    He finally came round to the idea and we gave it a proper go (rented a house, painted the nursery, bought a moses basket and pram etc etc) but at 30 weeks pregnant I heard new's he had cheated, with a ''friend'' of mine. I was guted, but terrified of being alone, so I put it to one side and pretended we where the happy family I so desperatly wanted us to be.
    Once Alice came, it was hard, very very hard, my partner worked long hours and we had nothing to talk about when he finally came home around 10pm so I would go to bed and leave him with the early night time feeds. I slowly but surely got very VERY depressed and asked him to leave (wanting him to put up a fight and make more of an effort), my plan failed. He moved out and to this day still lives with friends. I hate him. I'm suffering so much and he carries on his day to day life asif nothing's changed for him, that's because it hasn't. He hardly ever see's her and when he does all I hear is 'oh im so tired, bla bla bla' when he hands her back over and rushes out the door quicker than he knocked.
    It's so hard and I'm struggling so much. BUT after watching the program, I'm starting to feel more positive, I have decided to enrol at college again and go to my GP to talk about how I am feeling. I'm so grateful. Its the first time I've smiled properly in months and brought back all the feeling's I first felt when Alice was born. So for that I am very very grateful. Sorry for the big long rant, blame the program for making me feel confident enough to write this, before seeing it I couldn't even admit it out loud, never mind to strangers on a public website!
    GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE! And know, it really IS the best thing in the world, every morning Alice smiles her special little smile at me and I melt, I have never loved anyone or anything as much as I love her.

    THANKYOU CHERRY, GOOD LOOK AND CONGRATULATIONS! XXXX

  • Comment number 15.

    Cherry, we were on your flight from Biarritz a couple of weeks ago. We were people watching in the airport and my 17 year old daughter pointed you three out and said "Look at that lovely family" she loved what you were both wearing and the fact that you made such a beautiful family unit. We were the family that sat acros the aisle from you and thought you coped so well with the flight, well done. Coco really didn't enjoy it very much did she, she did really well though, not really crying so much as expressing herself..... I'm sure if you'd just passed her round the whole plane she would have been happy.... You looked like you had everyhting under control, well done you, looking forward to next week's programme.

  • Comment number 16.

    I am 25 and my baby boy is 15 weeks old this week. I have just watched Cherry Has A Baby on Catch Up and was incredibly moved!

    I love my boy but HATED pregnancy, I took it all for granted and didnt appreciate any of it, IF there is a next time I will try to enjoy it and embrace it a lot more.

    My birth plan was completly changed at 35 weeks (home water birth to C-Section due to previous medical issues) and I dont think I appreciated how much it effected me until I saw this programme!

    Well done BBC3 and Well done Cherry!

  • Comment number 17.

    well done cherry, ive just finished watching your programme on iplayer, cried most of way through! i was classed an older mum, aged 24, and that was nearly 15 years ago!i did look very young though so i did really confuse people!! many congrats on your daughters first birthday sure there will be more babies to come :) uve only made me broody!!!!! good luck to all the other new mummies on the programme and in the world.........:)

  • Comment number 18.

    It really isn't that bad, although everybody has a different pain threshold and different experiences. some like me have easy non-complicated pregnancies and births. I am 27 with four kiddies, life is good and i am back to college on monday and after two years hoping to go to uni to train as a midwife. i love being pregnant and giving birth it is such a privlage, although i have had four good and easy births i think my views would be different if everything hadn't have went soomthly

    laura

  • Comment number 19.

    Just finished watching this on iplayer. How I wish it was on last year!

    A doctor advised me to get pregnant when I was 28. I have endometriosis an was told it could take years. I have a brilliant boyfriend, but who i was trying to work out if he was just a really good friend. We tried once to see how it felt knowing we couldnt get pregnant....I did.

    I went into melt down and felt scared and trapped. Everything I read and everyone I spoke to seemed to think I should be overjoyed and said that they had been when they were pregnant "its not as if you are a teenager", is what i got. I felt stupid and childish and not at all womanly. I always thought I would feel so cosy and happy. I felt mental.

    I never really got my head round it when the baby died at 12 weeks. I have never really reacted in any way to this. I just obsess about pregnant women and feeling differently if I ever got pregnant a second time.

    maybe if this was on last year I wouldnt have beaten myself up as much.

    Unfortunately I dont have the bundle of joy to prove it is all worth it and i am still terrified and getting older by the day. So I really should tape this show and watch it if I get pregnant!

  • Comment number 20.

    Like Cherry, my pregnancy was a bit of a surprise/shock! Have tried to be very laid back about labour, but after attending antenatel I was more freaked out than ever! I'm 8 weeks away from the birth and watching Cherry last night has calmed me down! It's got to come out, so I'll have to deal with it!

  • Comment number 21.

    Just watched this show on iPlayer and I loved it. My friend is 21 and a few months pregnant and I'm definitely going to show her this; thanks for showing so many various mothers and their different thoughts and experiences. Good luck to you Cherry & Coco, and all the other mums, dads and lovely little babies! :D

  • Comment number 22.

    What a unique programme! Well done, and all the very best to Cherry and her family.

  • Comment number 23.

    Hi Cherry, thank you for your programme. Before watching it I was feeling a bit rubbish to be honest. I'm 8 weeks pregnant, have one very sore breast (why the other one's been let off, I have no idea, but thank god for that), feel bloated and generally quite unattractive! Although I had a good cry at the end of the show, I feel so much better for watching it. I feel less alone in this pregnancy business now.

  • Comment number 24.

    I watched this programme and enjoyed most of it. However, I am a little unhappy at the portrayal of the older mum - the woman who was 40, who had her baby early, with complications...

    I am an older mum - I'll be aged 41 when my first baby is born in a few weeks. I conceived within 3 months of coming off the pill (naturally, no IVF). I have had a straight forward pregnancy, I am fit and healthy; I don't smoke, I exercise etc. I don't feel my age (I am not 'old'!!). My obstetrician is pleased with my pregnancy - my Downs risk came out at 1 in 1929 (yes - nearly 1 in 2000 chance!).

    I would just like to shift the balance a little and say it is NOT all doom and gloom if you decide to become a mum in later life. I appreciate there are risks, and I talked carefully with my doctor before trying to conceive. I am as young at heart as the next 30 year old, and I fully intend to live life to the full with my baby when he arrives next month!

    In the end, it all comes down to the individual, and their biology!!

  • Comment number 25.

    I'm 32 and 36 weeks preggo. And i still can't believe I'm going to be a mum in 4 weeks time (give or take). I LOVED this documentary, Cherry totally voiced what i've been feeling all these months and i felt so relieved! Maybe i'm not a total freak for thinking how the flip is this person gonna fit into our lives and will i still be myself when i'm a mum? like my husband said - we haven't even passed any sort of test - it should be like being allowed to drive! What do we do once we get it home and its just us? I'm the one none of my friends gives their baby to hold coz i look like i'm holding a poo in a bag and yet watching this programme i was in floods of tears just marvelling at the miracle that is birth and what it means to become a mother - at whatever age. Thanks Cherry and all the mums who shared their story, i can't wait to be in your gang! xxx

  • Comment number 26.

    I'm 29 weeks pregnant and only 18 years old. At first I was petrified. It has only sunk in that I'm going to be a mum in the past week. After watching this, I realise that I may be a young mum but so happy to be blessed with such a little miracle! That one simple error could create something so many women long for. I will never take my little girl for granted and will always appreciate the beauty of what so many women cannot naturally do themselves. This programme has helped me realise that. So thanks to all the women and girls who took part in this programme and also to Cherry for sharing her experience with us! I cried so much when I saw both her and Stacey's little girls come into the world and has made me feel so much better about childbirth myself. All the best ladies x

  • Comment number 27.

    This programme was brilliant. I love the Hypno home birth. I had my second baby in April at home in a pool after attending Hypnobirthing classes and it was the most amazing experiences ever, no pain relief and only four hours (after a first birth with every form of pain relief and 27 hours of labour - yuck!). It was so nice to see various pregnancy and birth experiences. And Cherry, you were brilliant! I'm looking forward to Cherry Gets Married ;0)

  • Comment number 28.

    What an wonderful yet emotional programme. My baby will be 6 months on Monday and it really has flown but I still remember the birth and regularly revisit it like it was yesterday. I planned for the home/ water birth but after 4 days of being in labour (although they didn't call it labour until 3 cms dilated) I had an emergency c section. Watching your c-section has actually helped me to imagine what mine was like, I was so out of it on drugs that I find it hard to recall seeing her when she came out. Creating a human being really is the most amazing gift in the world as my husband said "it is the best promotion in the world without any of the financial rewards."

  • Comment number 29.

    This was a beautiful show.

  • Comment number 30.

    I really enjoyed your program this evening. However, I feel it is very misleading not to mention the fact that the 46 year old woman undergoing IVF more than likely used donor eggs to archive her pregnancy. It's these kind of omissions that lead women to believe that IVF over 45 is an option with their own eggs. Why not tell the whole, REAL story?? What a great opportunity to set the record straight and inform women properly! Also, I thought it was a shame that you didn't feature a single mother by choice. It would have also been an informative perspective.

  • Comment number 31.

    hi,

    I am 19 years old and pretty typical of my age. I have recently received my A levels and I'm planning ahead for the future. I don't have a baby but I am incredibly broody and have been for the last year or so. Although I plan not to act on this until I am in some semblance of a financially secure situation this prgramme has made me feel a lot less *wierd*.
    Seeing Paige and her amazing outlook on teenage pregnancy has made me think-biologically it is completely natural for a young woman of 15 years (sometimes earlier) to become pregnant. Although in the current climate it isn't exactly practical to have a child at such a young age I suppose I feel blessed to feel so maternal at such a young age. Of course I will wait until I am financially able to provide for a child before I plan to try for children but it is so refreshing to see an outlook in which the presenter highlights young mums in a positive light and not a negative one.

    I was shocked by the story of the forty year old mum. My mum had me at 24 years old and then thirteen years later she had my middle sister at 37 at 39 she had my youngest sister (not quite forty but close). I suppose I never really gave a thought to how dangerous it was for her and the babies. She had plenty of check ups and she had to have an amnio (?) to test for downs with my middle sister. Thankfully the test came back with a very slim chance but so far as I can remember that was the only real hiccup she had with either.

    For all the mums-to-be on here I would suggest you look up "One Born Every Minute" (I think it's a channel four programme but shush ;) ). It's a documentary focused around a maternity ward that follows the labours of women. It really does get that message across of-it happens every day and has done for millions of years. Although you can see the pain and hard work, you can also see how quickly it is all over and forgotten once the baby is in the mothers arms.

    Thankyou Cherry for such a wonderful programme and good luck to all you mummys and mums-to-be :) (and the babies of course) xx

  • Comment number 32.

    kirstienbump10 so glad you feel reassured! Cxxx

  • Comment number 33.

    Deestar123 - thanks so much for your story - yes I agree, it's really tough to be a young mum and it sounds like you've thought really carefully about it. Really glad to hear it all worked out for your ma and hope it all goes well with whatever you decide to do! Cxxx

  • Comment number 34.

    Hi alexine01, I really appreciate your feedback about the programme. Your comments are really interesting and I've definitely taken them on board. I wish there had been more time to go into that subject in depth - there is a huge story to tell there and I agree that there is a lot of confusion regarding this area. I hope there is a chance in the future to investigate this further. Cxx

  • Comment number 35.

    strindberg: congratulations! I also found it great watching the process back - I was also pretty out of it during the actual birth - I was SO tired! Glad everything worked out and you now have a beautiful baby! Cxxx

  • Comment number 36.

    sheridanlwilliams- thank you so much for your email. It's just so lovely to hear that the programme has reassured women, whether mums-to-be or mums. Good luck with everything Cxxx

  • Comment number 37.

    Hi Lauraloulou, thanks for your lovely email! It's kind of crazy that we have so many lessons in order to pass our driving test, yet we can have a baby without even picking up a book! So glad you enjoyed the show- good luck with everything Cxxx

  • Comment number 38.

    JoesMummy - I didn't exactly love being preggers either! There are quite a few side effects that really didn't appeal - and I got all of them! Really hope you enjoy the second round more - I definitely agree that it's probably easier once you know what to expect! Cxx

  • Comment number 39.

    Duh, sent a couple of bungled messages on twitter before I realised I could just do it here!! I loved the show too! I'm 27 and have been married for a year, but the prospect of pregnancy and child birth makes me feel a bit ill! Just like the situation you were in, my career is just starting to take shape and lately I have caught myself obsessing about what I would do if I got pregnant by accident, convinced it would ruin my chances.

    However, after watching your show and 'meeting' all the lovely girls you spoke to, I feel so much better about the whole thing. Yeah, so I wouldn't plan to have a baby right now, but if it happened by accident things would work out, my life wouldn't be over and I wouldn't 'lose' myself, just like you were also worried about. Even pregnancy and child birth seem a lot less scary now too!

    I also feel so much better that there are other women out there who wouldn't be thrilled by the prospect of motherhood, as sometimes I feel that I am a bit odd for feeling that way! There is just so much talk about instinct and people being aware of their clocks ticking etc, especially I think because I'm not long married, people seem to assume kids are the next step and that's all you want to talk about!

    Anyway, thank you so much for showing such an honest and balanced show on the subject. I hope your wedding went well, and I'll tune in next week to see how you got on! xx

  • Comment number 40.

    Hi Phillipa, I am so happy to hear that things are starting to turn around for you. I can't imagine how hard it has been and I really take my hat off to you - it sounds like an incredibly difficult and frustrating situation. Caring for a new baby is a huge job and you've managed to get through it - that's a pretty huge achievement. I really hope talking to your GP will help - so many women feel they can't be honest about feeling down, but it's really common - motherhood can be so overwhelming, especially if you're dealing with a tough situation. I also really hope your course is fun and interesting - sounds like you are really pro-active and a great mum. Thank you so much for writing in - all the best for the future! Cxxx

  • Comment number 41.

    I am a married 35 year old woman. I have never felt maternal or particarly wanted to have a baby. Now that I am 35, I am wondering whether if I leave it for another 5 years, I won't want a baby after I am 40 years old. Problem is - do I REALLY want to have a baby?

    This programme was brilliant because it was showing you the real highs and lows of pregnancy and birth. I can't say that the show has helped me come to a decision, although I am now perhaps thinking that having a baby isn't really what I want but is more of whether I should do something about it now in case I regret it in years to come but I don't know if I will. No-one can answer this for me.

    Well done to Cherrie though - it was an excellent programme.

  • Comment number 42.

    All I want to know is how Cherry got preganant when she had the coil? I have the coil and got it because I definately do not want to get pregnant now I am just panicing about it..urrrgh...

  • Comment number 43.

    I've just watched the programme and I really enjoyed it. I had my daughter last year aged 20 and this Sunday she turns one. I've always felt that I'm too young to be a Mummy but after a year I feel like I'm starting to get the hang of it! The programme made me realise there's really no right time until it happens.

    Our daughter wasn't planned but her father and I are still happily together, though I did find myself worrying that other people are judging me and thinking I'm a single mother and it's still something I find myself thinking now.

    As I had no career before I haven't felt my life has been "given up" for my child, infact I am starting a degree next month which is proof life can carry on and being a younger mum isn't my career plan!

    This was a brilliant programme bar one thing...seeing all those big bumps has made me so broody! Something I never thought I'd be saying this time last year!!

    I think it would be great to see a follow-up preogramme focusing on coping with a newborn and the realities of parenthood, as I think I would much rather relive my three hour labour than the eight months without a full nights sleep which followed!

  • Comment number 44.

    I am 36 and currently 14 weeks pregnant with our first child, long way to go yet but decided to Sky + your show as it looked interesting.

    Even though we have been planning and trying for 16 months and have gone through one loss I have still asked myself "is this the right time, can we afford it, what if lose my identity and am not 'me' afterwards" so many questions that remained unanswered - until I the programme which made me feel so much more at ease and reassured me that many women the same questions when they are expecting their first.

    It was amazing to hear all the different stories and I cried seeing the births, it just showed me how much of an amazing and magical experience childbirth is. Thank's to you Cherry and all the ladies who shared their stories I can't wait to go through this pregnancy looking forward to my own in March. Wishing Coco a very happy birthday - am looking forward to next weeks show :o)

  • Comment number 45.

    Cherry Thank you so much. I'm 29 and 30 weeks pregnant I've been so terrified of giving birth but felt like at 29 people just expect you to deal with it! I never write on these blogs but this was so good to watch. I laughed, cried and now know that I WILL cope. Love to you and CoCo, Can't wait to see the wedding thanks a Million x

  • Comment number 46.

    I enjoyed your programme Cherry - I am 32 and have still not decided whether or not to have a baby. To be honest, this is because I share so many of the fears that you had. Childbirth, money, time, loss of self - all these things loom large in my inability to come to a decision. But your programme made me feel like I do still have the time and space to decide what is right for me - and it's made me feel a bit (not lots though I might add) better about childbirth, should I decide to take the plunge in the next couple of years! So well done on creating such a balanced show about pregnancy and childbirth - it's rare to watch something that doesn't subscribe to the typical scare-mongering that seems to prevail on television today.

  • Comment number 47.

    Hi I’m 31 years old & 40 weeks & 9 days preggers (going mad with induction day looming just round the corner). I just wanted to say a huge thank you to Cherry & all the amazing ladies who gave us an insight into one of the most amazing & challenging things a woman can go through. I especially loved watching & bawling my eyes out to the home water birth.
    It was so refreshing to see a programme where pregnancy was looked at in a variety of ways & from different Mum's/ soon to be Mum's perspectives. Pregnancy is a gift & I must say I haven’t found it a walk in the park but do count myself lucky for not having any mega problems so far (touch wood). Pregnancy is not what the books tell us & is not always something that is enjoyed; where we all walk around grinning from ear to ear like cheshire cats in flowery dresses. I too am scared to death about the birth, if my baby will be healthy & following those fears that I will lose myself as a person & that my relationship will be strained. I have found pregnancy a chore at times, feeling very low, un-sexy & unwomanly, which was not much fun when I got married at 6 months pregnant. The different perspectives of these woman was so interesting; from the very biologically capable younger Mum's to the 'older' Mum's. Having a baby is a very personal choice & no one would ever be made to feel they are too young or old to have a child, as long as biologically we are able & we have financial support what does it matter?
    I did make a personal choice to have a child but it doesn’t make the fear about coping mentally & financially any less scary! I am shocked by the ignorant reaction of those Mum's to the young Mum's in the street & also concerned for the older Mum's about how in 10 years they worry about being seen as Gran picking their kids up from school. We live in a very judgemental society where people make uniformed decision about us without knowing our circumstances, which is very sad! It was so nice to see these types of issues raised. Thanks again Cherry & congratulations on Motherhood! I can’t wait to see your next show, congratulations too on your marriage.

  • Comment number 48.

    In response to WMFanClub, I am the 40yo Mum who featured in the programme. We, too, fell pregnant very quickly, and the first 20 weeks of the pregnancy were completely normal. At the point when I volunteered for the show, and during the first days of filming, we had no idea that there were any issues with my pregnancy other than the high DS score. We, too, were having a "straight-forward pregnancy".

    Then things changed, as they can for a Mum-to-be of any age. We continued to involve Cherry and the production company because we felt that it was important to show that pregnancy doesn't always turn out as planned.

    Having a premature baby was a worrying time, but it has not put us off having children, as the medical team cannot predict whether the problems will recur. We will be starting TTC no.2 next month!

  • Comment number 49.

    I loved this programme, I blubbed all the way through and now feel broody, but at 38 feel my baby bump days are well and truly over, my youngest has just started school so finally might get round to having some of that 'me' time I've heard so much about :)

  • Comment number 50.

    hi, i am 32 now, have a daughter who is 6 years old, have been trying to conceive for some time now.i had conceived again right after my daughter was born, and underwent an mtp because of parental pressure. http://www.allmothers.net/trying-to-get-pregnant.html my daughter was premature and underweight and required a lot of attention.now i am trying without any luck.i feel horribly guilty about the mtp, maybe i just dont deserve another baby. myu daughter adores babies and in her innocence, she keeps asking me abot a baby sister. i feel so helpless. i am posting this out of sheer desperation,just so that i appear normal in front of others.

  • Comment number 51.

    I watched your programme the night before my daughter turned one I shed a tear as I loved being pregnant and was a little jealous of you all, now I'm broody for number two. It has been the best year of my life! The best labour advice I was given, was to listen to my body, it will know what to do!

  • Comment number 52.

    Hi, I'm 27 next month and am 12 weeks pregnant. It took a bit of time for me to get used to the idea as I'm very much like you cherry! I love clothes, topshop, and generally having a good time!! Me and my boyfriend have been together a whopping 10 years so I'm in a great relationship, it was just a bit of a shock!! I loved your documentary and it made me realise that my life isn't over, it's just starting a new chapter. Watching it helped me feel excited and privileged to be pregnant.

    P.s cherry you looked so great throughout your pregnancy, where did you shop for maternity wear?
    Thanks xx

  • Comment number 53.

    Love the top tips, so true! And great programme really helped me understand a few more things.

    I've recently realised how much it costs to buy all the stuff you need to look after a baby. That doesn't even include any toys to make the baby happy or anything! Will very much have to shop around online, found a few sites like this around but still, it all adds up. Where do you all buy baby stuff online or in shops?

  • Comment number 54.

    Is there any way to view this programme ?

    It was rcommended to me by my sister, Knowing what im like and the fact that i having a baby she thought it would be good for me to see.
    Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. :-)

  • Comment number 55.

    Is there any way to see this programme
    My sister recommend it to me. Knowing what im like and the fact that im having a baby, she thought it would be good for me to see. I have checked on BBC I player and unfortunately it is unavailable to viewed :-(

    Any suggestions would be greatly appriciated

 

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