Cherry Gets Married: What getting hitched means to me
Externally, apart from the piece of metal on my finger nothing has changed at all. But internally things have changed quite a bit...
I am now a 'Mrs'
This has pros and cons. On the good side, sometimes I get taken seriously! I had a meeting with my bank manager and for the first time I didn't feel intimidated! BUT this change in status comes with boring admin: passport, bank cards, registration and bill information all need to be changed. I also sometimes forget I am a Mrs - hesitating for a moment before answering the question 'what is your name?' Always impressive!
Cherry Healey shares Bhakti Maisuri's wedding day in Cherry Gets Married
Whilst, of course you can be just as close without being married, for me there is something extremely powerful about standing in front of someone and telling them you'll stick by them. It was overwhelming to hear someone say 'I want to be with you for the rest of my life - even though I know you will get old and ugly and grumpy and eat too many donuts'. OK, I added the last bit, but that's essentially what someone is saying when they say 'I do'. Obviously, for 40% of marriages this isn't the outcome. But I think it is incredibly romantic (some people choose to call it naive!) that people still make that promise to each other regardless of the statistics. No one knows what will happen in the future but it's kind of amazing to take a leap of faith and make that promise to another human being.
I've gained a new sense of community
Life can be so busy and hectic; it's sometimes hard to keep in touch with the people you love. And if family live far away it's even harder. One of the elements of the wedding I most enjoyed was having close friends and family all in the same place. When I went into the church I was overwhelmed by the atmosphere of support. I underestimated the significance of having everyone with us on the day. During the vows the congregation were asked if they agreed to support the couple in their marriage - again, this was such a powerful moment! I looked at my husband and we both smiled as the reply boomed back 'YES'! For me, this is almost as important as the 'I do' I heard from my hubbie. I know that marriage is really hard - and that there are going to be times when we want to put each other's head in the washing machine - but these are the times we will need the encouragement and support of all the people in our life.
Cherry meets Jo Bryan and Rob Stone as they prepare for their wedding day
It's easy to get caught up in the wedding circus; what will my dress look like? What will my hair be like? Will people think I look ok? I'm a bit of a tomboy and even I had a major dress meltdown! But I realised that a wedding is not just about the couple - it's also a significant day for the people that love them. For their friends, it's acknowledging that your mate now comes with a mate-for-life. And as a friend, it's your job to support them through the good and bad times. For the parents and close family you are welcoming a new person into the fold and entrusting the care of your beloved family member into the hands of someone else. It's also a rare chance to put on a massive party for all your family and friends. I really loved watching everyone at the wedding getting stuck in and dancing the night away!
I don't have to do it again (hopefully!)
There is so much pressure that the wedding day is 'the best day of your life'. Wow, pressure! I have to say that in the end it was an incredible, beautiful day but in the few weeks running up to the wedding I was pretty stressed. I had always thought that brides complaining about wedding admin were clearly just not organised and perhaps a bit moany. I was proved very wrong. If you're organising the day yourself and have a busy job, dealing with the admin is full-on! Now, I know I brought it on myself. It is totally possible to get married in an electric blue jumpsuit (I was tempted) on the beach, but for some reason I chose to go down the traditional route. And a traditional wedding comes with an enormous to do list! Anyway, thanks to the support of some amazing people, we managed to pull it off without any dramas and I had an absolute blast. But, at 3am, when I slumped into bed after the party, I sent up a little 'thanks' to whoever's up there that it was done and dusted!
Cherry Healey presents Cherry Gets Married on Monday at 9pm.
Next week, Cherry will be sharing her dating stories here on the blog and you can watch Cherry Goes Dating on Monday 27th September at 9pm.
- More about Cherry Gets Married
- Read Cherry's thoughts about having a baby on the BBC Three blog
- Details about the previous programme Cherry Has a Baby
- Visit Cherry Healey's blog