Raise, Educate , Bring up children
Today is Saturday and I am so happy to be home and relax after a long week of work. There were so many things to do at work and home this week. Our garden looks very green because it is raining. I love to walk around it to see the orchids and other flowers blossom. My husband loves to plant different species of orchids and roses. It takes a lot of energy to take care the garden but worth it.
While writing today, my 23 month old son, Joshua, is playing outside in the rain. I told him to stop playing in the rain, but with little affect.
"No, No, Mommy," he said.
I then reply back, "Please come inside the house now!"
The debate goes on and on until he cries because he could not get what he wanted. I get upset when he talks back to me, but realize I did the same with my parents. How can I communicate with him and teach him right and wrong? Being a working mother is not easy. At the end of the day, I just want to lay down and sleep but I have to force myself to play and read books with him. When I have my child, I realize how difficult it was for my parents bring me up to the world and help me to achieve what I have right now. Although get upset with him, I am happy to be a mother. The house without him is not colorful. When I speak, Joshua always mimics me. It is amazing to watch this child grow up. It is hard to believe how fast he has grown up.
Last week, I talked about relationships between couples in rural Cambodians, they rarely express love or speak romantic words with each other. Well, unfortunately, this is also the same case with children. My parents rarely expressed their love to me. Their generation held the belief that if children knew how much their parents loved them, this was like spoiling them or letting them do whatever they wanted to do. In fact, as my generation now knows, this is not true. I love to have feeling that my parents love and appreciate what I have done and be with me all the time. I want to feel warm and know how much my parents love me, but they rarely showed this expression.
When my parents' generation raised, educated and brought up children, it was very different from what is done right now. When they disciplined children, they simply shouted and hit them, but didn't tell them what they did was wrong. They just used power over children and considered them as their property. Children were considered like a piece of white cloth, they learned from the parents and family. This is not just in Cambodia, but in through out Asia and other developing countries. However, this mindset is being eradicated in my generation. The majority of my generation, especially amongst educated people, don't believe that physical discipline or not expressing love is the best way to educate and bring up children.
Through my personal and professional experiences working with children, I know how much children need from their parents, not just financial support, but mental support as well. It is very important to bond the relationship between parents and children. Good communication between parents and children helps them to grow throughout the years to come. Children need to be taken good care of in the home in order to be a good citizen. I hold a strong belief that a good verbal and nonverbal communication is critical step to bond relationships with children in the years coming, especial when they become teenagers.
Because of this belief, I always say, "I love you sweetie," and "you did a good job." I show him how much I appreciate what he has done. Not only verbally, but also with non-verbal communication - lots of hugs and kisses. These words are magic words that make my son respond positive and more active with me and my husband. So the communication is a vital step in any relationship. What do you think? What is your belief to raise, bring up and educate children?
That all for now.. Talk more next week.