SFA all at sea over "Bevvygate"
When is a matter which is closed not really closed? Ask the SFA.
In their Alice in Wonderland world, words mean what they want them to mean, not what you and me think they mean.
Yesterday, chief executive Gordon Smith's statement on 'Bevvygate', the now-infamous drinking debacle by members of the Scotland squad, concluded by saying: "We now consider this matter to be closed."
However, if a week is a long time in politics then 24 hours is an eternity in the world of Scottish football's governing body.
Today, the SFA president George Peat decided that the matter was not closed at all and promptly ordered an investigation into the 'Bevvygate' affair.
Having been so ordered, swift justice followed, with a walk along the plank to international oblivion for the Rangers pair of Barry Ferguson and Allan McGregor.
The Scotland captain and his team mate were finally fed to the sharks after a week of SFA to-ing and fro-ing on the high seas of indecision.
Celtic's legendary winger Jimmy Johnstone was famously involved in a drunken escapade with a rowing boat at Largs, but even the master of the mazy run would have been all at sea with the SFA's erratic decision making, which saw the pair first demoted to the bench, then allowed to remain with the squad, and now finally marooned from the international set-up for life.
It's enough to make you wonder whether some of the industrial quantities of drink allegedly consumed by the players was siphoned off to the cabins of the governing body's senior crew members.
Just who is steering the ship here? The chief executive, the president or the manager?
Because no sooner is one course set than another hand appears on the tiller. One minute the matter's closed, the next it's open again.
In case anyone has forgotten here, we are trying to qualify against swelling odds for the World Cup finals next year. It's bad enough that certain players chosen for their leadership skills forgot that football is a team game, without the SFA captain's acting like singlehanded yachtsman and going solo, and in the process, destabilising a ship already rolling perilously.
That said, the SFA have finally made the right decision in deciding that Ferguson and McGregor will not represent Scotland again.
Rangers have rightly concluded that the actions of the duo demeaned a famous and proud club, and fell considerably short of the standards expected at Ibrox. They have stripped Ferguson of the captaincy and suspended the pair.
It's probably fair to assume a degree of uncertainty over their long-term futures at Ibrox.
The SFA's shambolic but belatedly correct response, to their highly unprofessional behaviour, finally sends the right message; representing your country is an honour which should not be demeaned by drink or undignified behaviour.
Too many other good professional players in Scotland will never get a chance to wear the Scotland shirt that they would have treated with the dignity it deserves.
Ferguson and McGregor now find themselves permanently adrift from the international scene, but equally the SFA too have been all at sea in this badly handled affair.