Sorry?

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Eddie Mair | 18:55 UK time, Monday, 10 November 2008

Inspired by this story, in which a thief wrote to apologise to a shopkeeper, we're asking if there's something YOU want to say sorry for. The joy of the blog of course is that you can post comments without the public knowing who you are....

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1. At 1:10pm on 10 Nov 2008, eddiemair wrote:
OK. I'll start us off. This may not seem like much - maybe it does. Anyhoo. One day about a year ago, driving to work, I was a little late. The driver in front of me was going slowly. I don't mean a little bit slowly - the driver was doing something like 10-15 miles an hour in a 30 zone. And it was a long long street. Eventually, I got cross, and started the infantile flashing of lights and tooting the horn that we idiotic drivers resort to. Eventually, we got to a bit of road where I could overtake. As I did so, I turned to glare, and saw the driver sobbing. Just distraught. She was openly sobbing - tears running down her face. Clearly she was terribly upset about something, and I couldn't have helped with my noisy impatience. I sometimes think of her still, and wonder what had upset her so much. A loss of some kind? Why was she driving in such a state? It must have been something awful. Something that made traffic speed seem like a rather unimportant thing. Anyway, should she be reading this - I apologise.

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2. At 1:58pm on 10 Nov 2008, Benjaminbrum wrote:
This happened about ten years ago whilst I was at University. I dated a guy called Giles. He and I were quite well suited we had similar taste in geeky subjects and enjoyed spending time with each other and when we were apart we'd spend time chatting on the phone or sending each other amusing emails.

I was out clubbing just after Christmas and had a one night stand and in the first flush of passion I dumped Giles. Dropped him like a stone. The first time he and I saw each other was an evening out with mutual friends that I'd brought the one nighter along with me. Giles looked crushed and asked me for an explanation. I dismissed him with little more than a shrug and a mention that "Sometimes things just don't work out".

Giles clearly had more questions about what was going on and being more of a gentleman than I was he quietly withdrew. Needless to say that the one night wasn't any more than that and I lost a good friend for my stupidity.

I regret not being able to confess my stupidity to Giles and to ask his forgiveness. I wanted to take this chance to say sorry.

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3. At 2:00pm on 10 Nov 2008, greengal1967 wrote:
I'd like to apologise to Louise Allen. We were at school together in Johannesburg and there was a period in our 12 year old lives where jealousies and loyalties became very important. I went out of my way to be hurtful to her. We parted at the end of that year and went on to different secondary schools. I never saw her again and have no idea where she is.
If you're out there somewhere, Louise, please forgive my hurtful behaviour in 1980!

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4. At 2:16pm on 10 Nov 2008, EmmaSHT wrote:
I work at an Oxford College and just recently we received a £50 postal order along with the return of a silver salt cellar and a typed note "with apologies from a former student who should have been more inquisitive than acquisitive"!

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5. At 2:26pm on 10 Nov 2008, jarwenold wrote:
Eddie,

I just have to ask...is Tony Blair and/or George Bush on the Newsletter recipients list?

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6. At 2:31pm on 10 Nov 2008, mittfh wrote:
Since Eddie's posted a link to this thread from the "regular" PM blog, I'll reciprocate...

For the benefit of anyone who hasn't discovered the similarly titled thread over on the "regular" PM blog, you'll find it at the other end of this link!

Take your pick :)

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7. At 2:48pm on 10 Nov 2008, ingeniousCliff wrote:
It is amazing where things can take us. In my younger years working in my local hospital an elderly man driving out nearly collided with me as I drove in to work. I had my window open and I called him an 'idiot'. I am not a saint but wish to say that this was out of shock as well as macho, selfish arrogance from me. It was the last straw for him and he got out as I was parking and he chased me to the dept where I was working, he was clearly more than angry. I hid and staff calmed him. I said that I ran because he was elderly and that I did not want to be responsible for an elderly chap having an M.I. I knew inside that I had pushed someone too far and that it was too much for me contemplate then. He was really distressed. Eddie wondered if the lady who was crying had had a 'loss'. I wondered the same. I have never forgotten it and always teach my students in this same hospital to think twice before beeping or harrying people in the hospital grounds as we drive in or out. We never know what experience they have just been through.In 2004 as I drove out of the same entrance/exit after the death of my own mother I thought of this man and how I would feel if someone was aggressive to me at that point where one can feel so alone and without our normal mental scaffolding. To him I say 'I am really sorry'.

On a lighter note ...Ronnie Corbett (see photo above) was coming out of a guesthouse in my area by the sea when I was about 10. I asked him for his autograph and he said 'Get lost'. A year later I asked a famous comedien at our local golfclub 'are you Tommy Cooper?' He said 'No Smith Scotland Yard'. He waited until I got a Trebor Mint wrapper out of a bin so I could get his autograph . For years I have been biased and refused to see any talent in Ronnie C. But like all of us he may have just had a bad day. Sorry Ronnie.

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8. At 3:22pm on 10 Nov 2008, Charlie wrote:
An interesting topic this. Very interesting:

"...The joy of the blog of course is that you can post comments without the public knowing who you are..."

"Public". Mmmmm...

So, when is an "Apology" an apology?
When one makes the apology, OR, when the recipient (such as Andrew Sachs), has ammended the apology to reflect his/their requirements? (I'm on sachs' side by the way)

And, if the apology is "A-nony-mouse', is it, in fact, an apology at all?

Questions, questions, questions...

Now, this Lady knew how to Grovel!

And then, so did the fellow following...

Artist: Classic Country
Song: I'm Sorry - Brenda Lee
Album: Classic Country: 1950-196

I'm sorry, so sorry
That I was such a fool
I didn't know
Love could be so cruel
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Uh-oh
Oh, yes

You tell me mistakes
Are part of being young
But that don't right
The wrong that's been done

[Spoken:]
(I'm sorry) I'm sorry
(So sorry) So sorry
Please accept my apology
But love is blind
And I was to blind to see
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Uh-oh
Oh, yes

You tell me mistakes
Are part of being young
But that don't right
The wrong that's been done
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Uh-oh
Oh, yes

I'm sorry, so sorry
Please accept my apology
But love was blind
And I was too blind to see
(Sorry)

P. J. Proby (he of the split pants) Lyrics

I'm sorry so sorry
What more can I say
Never knew how much you meant to me

Till I went away
It's my fault all my fault
That we're apart
I'd give anything if I could be
Back with you sweetheart

If I told a lie,If I made you cry
When I said goodbye I'm sorry
From the bottom of my heart dear
I apologise

If I caused you pain, I know I'm to blame
Must have been, believe me
From the bottom of my heart dear
I apologise

I realize I've been unfair to you
Please let me make amends
Don't say that you forgot the love we knew
After all we were more than friends
If I've made you blue,I've had heartaches too
Now I beg of you forgive me,
From the bottom of my heart,dear
I apologise

By the way, if anyone knows the postal address of a Prof. Roy Field(?)/Pasture(?). He of "1-in-a-73,000,000 chance" fame, please let me know. On behalf of the late Mrs sally Clarke and her family, I'd like to send him both of the above sound-tracks...

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9. At 3:30pm on 10 Nov 2008, ingeniousCliff wrote:
You have written the lyrics of 'I apologise' by the great Billy Eckstein, you must at least mention his name Charlie. After all you mentioned Lee and Proby. What a BRILLIANT song it is. After a bottle of Rioja, I am convinced I sound just like him as I sing this song. I have always got something to say sorry for.

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10. At 3:40pm on 10 Nov 2008, patmartin wrote:
I foolishly used my full name when I first signed in on the blog so anything I write is identifiable. But anyway Kate, here goes, I'm sorry I hit you in the cinema sometime in 1964, at a Beatles concert in Bradford, the day after we'd slept out all night on the pavement in Huddersfield, so that we could be near the front of the queue for the next Beatles concert. No idea what the argument was about but I promise I haven't hit anyone else since, other than my children and then not often

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11. At 3:41pm on 10 Nov 2008, patmartin wrote:
Why am I being moderated again. I'm sure I haven't said anything offensive.

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12. At 3:43pm on 10 Nov 2008, ingeniousCliff wrote:
Sorry to focus on the songs Charlie. I have only just unscrambled the last bit. I can be slow at times. (Quite often).

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13. At 4:13pm on 10 Nov 2008, Charlie wrote:
ingeniousCliff@09, @12

You have nothing to be sorry for.

I should have attributed the "Great" Billy Eckstein.

And, for that omission, I am, unreservedly, sorry.

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14. At 5:30pm on 10 Nov 2008, BenjiBird wrote:
I would like to apologise to my partner, mark, because I forgot to pay the telephone bill which caused him to get a CCJ... very sorry! Ben xx

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15. At 5:38pm on 10 Nov 2008, mikedorset wrote:
Sorry,When very young and immature I once voted Labour.NEVER,NEVER,NEVER AGAIN

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16. At 5:39pm on 10 Nov 2008, AndrewSachs100 wrote:
I would like to apologise for my racist portrayal of a Spanish waiter.
Sorry. I won’t do it again.
Andrew Sachs.

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17. At 5:44pm on 10 Nov 2008, Lindaesther wrote:
Dear Miss Sandwith from Cumbria,

Sorry for telling you to take up golf rather than give you a singing lesson but thought this was fairer than taking your money whilst not seeing a possible way to teach you, even after your long journey to London.

Best Wishes
Linda

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18. At 5:47pm on 10 Nov 2008, sharkeyfish wrote:
I've voted Labour all my life. I'm sorry, I apologise and promise I'll never do it again.

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19. At 5:50pm on 10 Nov 2008, chris_vallance wrote:
I'm sorry I caused a panic in the studio by inadvertently misreading Cabinet Minister when I meant to say Cabinet Office Minister...fixed before tx thanfully.

Oh and I'm sorry for having elbow patches on my jumper

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20. At 6:10pm on 10 Nov 2008, kenmate wrote:
I am so sorry to the President-elect Mr. Obama. It appears that it is all my fault, although I didn't have any control over what happened. To find out, please follow this link:

[Unsuitable/Broken URL removed by Moderator]

Kind regards, Ken Collins

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21. At 6:40pm on 10 Nov 2008, Piper wrote:
mikedorset@15

In the words of ian Flemming:

"Never, say never, again..."

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22. At 6:43pm on 10 Nov 2008, mittfh wrote:
Patmartin: There are three different moderator messages:

...awaiting moderation: All new users are pre-moderated for their first few posts. Once you've posted a few times, you should find your messages automatically appear.

...referred to the moderators: Either someone clicked 'Complain', or some automated routine the mods run thought there may be something dodgy. Hopefully next time you come back, it will have appeared. What you don't want is:

...removed...House Rules: The mods have squished the post.

Now, something to apologise for, to keep on-topic...

I apologise for putting my personal enjoyment of computers over my studies at uni ('95-'01), thus putting my family through the strain of me having to endure resits through practically every year of the course. Still, I managed to scrape a BSc (third class) and pass an MSc (the latter in Computer Science!).

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23. At 6:52pm on 10 Nov 2008, Piper wrote:
Eddie

Oh Dear. You really have started something here...

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/asia/article5126148.ece

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24. At 7:23pm on 10 Nov 2008, mittfh wrote:
Meanwhile, looks as though Google have had to do a bit of apologising, after discovering a contender for the world's silliest bug in their mobile phone handset...

(Link to article on El Reg)

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25. At 8:24pm on 10 Nov 2008, Kazzi =D wrote:
Mum and Dad, I am truly sorry for not being the daughter you would like me to have been. Evenso, I know you love me dearly for which I thank you and love you too!
KJ xxx

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26. At 10:56pm on 10 Nov 2008, oldreigation wrote:
Dear People of the UK

As the man who has been ruining, no I mean running, your country for several years now, I want to say sorry - no, perhaps not want to, rather perhaps should say sorry - for not paying the right amount, no, no, I pay the right amount (or have been for a couple of years now) - what I mean is perhaps, er, not paying more taxes. Anyway, you keep buying my papers and watching my tv channels and keeping me and my family living the way we should and I might in time forgive you all for ever calling me,
The dirty digger

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27. At 00:46am on 11 Nov 2008, sarahvmc wrote:
I started off by wanting to use this blog, but now... there are too many to say sorry to, and making amends would take another lifetime. But to ex husband, current husband, and both my children I say sorry. I make amends by being a better grandmother than I ever was a wife or mother.. I hope.

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28. At 03:03am on 11 Nov 2008, miraculousTGRWorzel wrote:
I am sorry for posting stupid bloggs !

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29. At 2:29pm on 11 Nov 2008, otrebor1967 wrote:
Back in 1989 I was off to university and had “that chat” with my then long term girlfriend about long distance relationship and what was best for ME! We did not split up however, but after a year or so of being apart with only the occasional visit and the associated tearful farewells on her part, she informed me that she had met someone else who could “give her what she needed”.
I have 2 apologies to make to this gorgeous, caring and intelligent individual.
Firstly, that I was not more open about how I felt about her. That first year apart was torture for me and I missed her every single second of every single day. I regret with all my heat no being honest with her and pretending that I was “all right jack”. For my dishonesty with her I apologise.
Secondly, after I was told that I had been “dumped” I must apologies for my unacceptable behaviour and especially the down right spiteful letter I wrote her.
Suffice to say I am deeply sorry for my selfish and hurtful behaviour in the years 1989 and 1990. I lost a true and dear friend back then and if she is reading this I hope she can accept my profound apology.

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30. At 5:58pm on 11 Nov 2008, lackofimagination wrote:
I want to apologise to the Dundee University student shops from which I daily shoplifted flapjacks and chocolate bars during my last 3 years of Unversity there.

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31. At 9:35pm on 12 Nov 2008, C_Knight wrote:
I want to apologise to my now
ex-Girl-friend. I have no idea whether She will ever read this, but if She does I am very sorry. I blame myself for what happened recently, and acknowledge that I should not detail anything here, thus I shall not.

However, if you are reading this darling, please accept my sincere and absolute apologies.

Thank you.

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32. At 3:34pm on 15 Nov 2008, Steeple wrote:
It was c. 1961, NW London, her name was Elizabeth from Manchester. Her mother worked for the famous John A. We were getting on famously, but, in an inexplicable and untypical 'mood' I dumped her.
This vivacious girl. with a fascinating 'mind full of useless infomation' (her words) could have given me a happy life.
Sorry Elizabeth; I have often wondered how life turned out for you.

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33. At 11:32pm on 18 Nov 2008, Peterborough_Emjay wrote:
This may take some time, but as it's over a week since the blog was started I'm sure you're only here like me passing the time of day, in no real rush to be somewhere else or saving the world for the moment.

So, saying sorry to those I've hurt - either deliberately or accidentally. I guess mum and dad come first. Both now departed and both leaving this world without ever hearing one kind word from myself. Not that I was rude or harsh with them. No. Just "normal". Polite. Dutiful. Respectful. Sorry for not appreciating all the work, all the stresses and strains we (your children with me being one of them) put you through. Now that I am a parent I appreciate exactly what you did for us. Sorry it came 10 years too late for me to tell you and for you to hear.

Sorry too to you, Ruth of Cheshire. In approx 1983 or 84 I sent you a letter in which I scorned you for not keeping an arrangement for us to meet up again. It was the first time you had let me down but I didn't appreciate that - you were struggling with work and relationships etc and probably didn't need to make a 5 hour journey to meet me, but I didn't appreciate that. I read my letter three times before sending it, deciding that that was how I felt when I wrote it so I should stand by my feelings and send it. Stupid. Sorry. While we were together we had a fantastic time and I ruined it in a few arrogant lines.

Sorry too to my current wife for being a constant source of regret for you. Yes, I know you could have done better - and yes, i sometimes wish you had. Maybe my heart just isn't in it. Sorry.

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The programme that starts with its listeners. Join daily discussions online and contribute ideas for a weekly programme presented by Eddie Mair and Jennifer Tracey.