Those standing for office should have to provide CVs and a business plan before they seek to run our game. If you seek high office, you should be prepared to put on record what experience and track record you have to do the job.

And if you have none, you shouldn't be there.

You should also have to put up for public consumption your proposals for your time in office, outlining your plans for improving and bettering the game, both in terms of the football and financially.

As long as a penny of public money goes towards youth development or any other area run by the Hampden hierarchy, then there should be a transparent and open audit process.

The recent list of SFA council members' expenses shows that some members received £4.60 pence per mile to travel to Hampden on SFA business - £4.60 per mile for a five-mile journey? Nice work if you can get it.

How does that relate to the rest of the working world? How many of us pick up £23 for a five-mile trip to the office or building site?

After the "Boozegate" scandal, a vote of confidence for manager George Burley two months ago suddenly overturned, and a general lack of transparency, many fans are now asking whether the SFA is fit for purpose.

The old ways of doing things will no longer do. We need clear and accountable structures in line with modern business practices, and we need to know just who is in control.

Is it the president George Peat? The chief executive Gordon Smith? No-one really knows because the SFA is an unfathomable organisation.

Our national team's reputation sinks lower by the week and the standing of our game is in danger of becoming a by-word for complacency and neglect.

We have to get a new manager in to turn round our fortunes, but first we have to sort out the men who have got our national game into this mess.

In the French Revolution the aristocracy lost their power and their heads: the SFA too needs a revolution.

They can keep their heads but they'll have to sacrifice their blazers.

The French striker hit his opponents with the old one-two - a little jab followed by a sly left hook - to set up the goal everyone's talking about. And I mean everyone.

I settled down to catch the end of Newsnight for a little respite from Main-Gate (I knew that O-Level French would come in handy one day) and there were Dara O'Briain and David Ginola earnestly discussing the merits of a replay with Gavin Esler.

The Twitterers were also out in force. 'Eamonn Holmes' said Henry would 'go down as the worst cheat in modern times', while 'englandsnumber6' suggested the Frenchman 'thought he was playing garlic football'.

'England Handball' declared: "As much as we love handball, we can't condone Henry's effort against the Irish" and our very own Ben Dirs opined: "It's at times like these I wish I didn't live with an Irishman. Hours of angry headlocks and very loud Christy Moore ahead of me."

Meanwhile, the man at the centre of the storm said on his 'Official Twitter Page': "I'm not the referee but if I hurt someone I'm sorry." Earlier tweets from 'Henry' include: "Why has no-one died during a taping of Top Gear? Am I the only one who ever wondered this?" and: "Got so much done today, but the thing I'm most proud of? I showered!" So is it really him? You decide.

While I'm on a social media frenzy, at the time of going to press more than 86,000 people had joined the Facebook group 'We Irish Hate Thierry Henry (the cheat)' and you can understand why feelings are running high. I went for a drink with my Republic-supporting mate who was crying into his beer muttering "Henri Leconte" - at least that's what I think he was saying.

Meanwhile Ladbrokes were offering odds of 66/1 for Henry to be sent off in his next game for France for deliberate handball. (Before winning the battle with Elvis Presley and Lord Lucan for the Christmas number one.)

Fortunately for the player his sponsors, Gillette, released a statement insisting: "This is not going to affect our relationship with Thierry Henry." Phew, that was a close shave. Although expect a large number of beards to spring up on the Emerald Isle over the next few weeks.

Staying with sponsors and Damien Duff suggested the whole episode was a conspiracy to ensure as many teams as possible in South Africa were backed by Adidas.

"Maybe we'd have a better chance of going to the World Cup if it was sponsored by Umbro," he reasoned - perhaps momentarily forgetting that he has a lucrative boot deal with...Adidas. I think that's what they call shooting yourself in the foot.

Team-mate Robbie Keane was also not backward in coming forward, telling BBC Radio 5 live: "They're all probably clapping hands, Platini sitting up there on the phone to Sepp Blatter, probably texting each other, delighted with the result."

And you could rely on Keano's namesake to really put the cat among the pigeons by saying of the FAI: "What goes around comes around." Never one to harbour a grudge, our Roy. And pity the poor hack who felt the sharp end of Keane's tongue when his phone rang mid-press conference - he'll be sleeping with his eyes open for the next few weeks.

Incredibly there were other things going on outside the Irish penalty area, although if it hadn't been for Henry's hand I'd have had to try to spin out 500 words on the curious tale of Robin van Persie and the horse placenta, which apparently goes down well with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

The Arsenal striker damaged ankle ligaments playing for the Netherlands and opted for radical treatment involving fluid from said placenta massaged into the affected area. The Dutchman claimed the injury had no serious side effects, as he tucked into a bowl of hay before leaping over a row of five-bar gates.

Staying in the Premier League and Carlos Tevez is using Coronation Street to brush up on his limited English. The Man City striker still can't work out how to ask the ref how much time is left but if you ever feel the need to order a hotpot from The Rovers, he's your man.

Team-mate Robinho was another who watched the soap to improve his English, but he's recently switched to another show to learn the phrase "I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here".

In the other half of Manchester there must have been a few hackles raised at a new film celebrating Liverpool's Champions League success. Called 15 Minutes That Shook The World, the fictional black comedy features cameos from Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher, plus characters who bear a striking resemblance to two prominent members of the Old Trafford hierarchy.

'Rat Boy' wears the No 2 shirt and sings anti-Scouse songs, while 'McTaggart' swigs from a bottle of Scotch bearing the label 'Manager of the month, but not as good as Bob Paisley'. Any ideas?

Elsewhere, Brentford ended the FA Cup dreams of Ian Bogie's Gateshead side (presumably known as the Bogie Men) while the Brazilian Ronaldo told the TV cameras: "I'm going to admit it. I am fat." In other news, Usain Bolt reveals he is quite a fast runner and Michael Caine finally admits he comes from old London town (not a lot of people knew that).

Have a good weekend one and all and I hope you'll join me in doing your bit for Children In Need. I was thinking of giving a penny for every second that passes before Terry Wogan mentions Thierry Henry. Hope they've got change for 20p.

I have to say that Fabio Capello has done an amazing job as England coach. The Italian seems to have instilled confidence into every player who has played for him.

Yet there is also the fear factor that you don't want to be the person in the team who slips up because he is the kind of person who can come down on you like a ton of bricks.

Capello has got England playing really well. The first time people really sat up and took notice was when we beat Croatia 4-1 away from home in World Cup qualifying. Having been humbled by Croatia in the Euro 2008 qualifiers, it just showed how far England had come in a short period of time.

Capello's England were first class from the first World Cup qualifying game to the last.

We were flying at the time and playing some excellent football, eventually finishing the season with 105 points. That was a record points tally and stood until it was eventually beaten by Reading a couple of years ago.

I was playing at the top of my game but it was still a surprise when team-mate Kevin Phillips and I were called up given that we played for a Championship team. It came towards the end of the season and it was a great feeling.

Gray was extremely impressed with the way Keegan treated him

It was out of the ordinary then for Championship players to be in the England reckoning. People had asked us if we thought we were good enough and we said 'yes'. Thankfully, Kevin Keegan agreed. The fact that Sunderland finished seventh in the Premier League with pretty much the same squad the following year proved the point.

We were having some great times under Peter Reid at Sunderland and we had just moved into the Stadium of Light, averaging close to 48,000 every game. It was a pleasure to play that kind of football but the atmosphere was electric too - it just grabbed everyone and brought out the best in all of the players.

However, I think it's highly unlikely that a Championship player would make today's England squad. You have to look at the players Capello has available.

There are some really talented players coming through in the Championship now and if they step up to the Premier League for a couple of years then they may get into the England reckoning. At the moment though I don't think there are any players ready to make that leap.

Everyone asks if I was nervous getting my first call-up and, yes, I was. But at the same time there was real excitement.

I said to myself I would go with the squad, meet the players and enjoy every single moment of it - and I certainly did that.

It was a special moment; something you strive for at the beginning of your career and when it happens you grab it with both hands. What an amazing feeling to play with three lions on your chest - just incredible.

I'd never been involved with the Under-21s or England's youth ranks so I was thrown in at the deep end in some ways.

When I got the phone call from Keegan I thought it was a wind-up. For the first few seconds I thought it was someone impersonating him but that soon went away.

It was nice to have Kevin's in the same squad as he was the only person I knew but it was still nerve wracking when we met up with the squad at Bisham Abbey. We all spent some time in our rooms before going down to dinner at 7pm.

My room was next to Kevin Phillips' and I was a bit apprehensive when we went down to meet the other players because we didn't know them. That soon went away though.

Everybody was really friendly and it was an enjoyable trip. It was an eye opener too because I'd played in the Championship and not really established myself in the Premier League.

Training-wise, the sessions were similar to what we were used to at club level, just the personnel were different!

Obviously you're with the top players in the country so the quality is there for everyone to see. It's not a case of turning up to training and going through the motions because you just wouldn't get away with it. You have to put 100% into every session. That's how I train anyway but the quality in training with England just shone through.

We did a finishing session at the end of training and I was crossing balls from the left.

On the end of my crosses were Alan Shearer, Emile Heskey, Robbie Fowler, Teddy Sheringham, Paul Scholes and Michael Owen. As you can imagine, there weren't many balls going wide or over the bar! It was a special thing to be part of.

My England debut came in a friendly in Hungary and I played 20 minutes as sub. We drew 1-1 and I remember warming up behind one of the goals when Ray Clemence came running down to tell one of us we were going on.

I turned my head thinking he wanted someone behind me. When I realised it was me that's when I switched on. The thought going through my mind was 'this is your opportunity, you've just got to grab it'.

The whole country is watching but you have to put that out of your mind and try to do your best as you would do for your club because that's why you're there in the first place.

I was nervous and excited at the same time but you've just got to put that out of your mind and give it your best shot. It may have been 20 minutes but it could have been two minutes, the feeling would still have been the same. It went so quickly. Everything takes over and you just want to get to the final whistle with the right result. We drew the game but I remember going back to the dressing room and my team-mates saying 'well done'.

The second game I played was against Sweden at Wembley. Graeme Le Saux was playing left-back and went off injured at half-time so I went on.

Paul Scholes was sent-off so we were reduced to 10 men but we managed to hold out for a goalless draw.

It was an amazing experience to play at Wembley in front of the England fans. That was what I wanted. It was great to get my first cap for England but to come out at Wembley and play 45 minutes was just amazing, especially with the players around me.

It was satisfying to get a clean sheet too. At Sunderland I was forever getting forward and that was the way I liked to play. But for England I was told to just keep it tight at the back because we were down to 10 men and I wasn't going to argue with the likes of Tony Adams and Martin Keown. I held my ground and it was an amazing day.

My first start at international level came in Bulgaria and turned out to be my third and last England appearance. It was Hristo Stoichkov's last game for Bulgaria and we drew the game 1-1 so unfortunately I didn't get any wins as an England player.

The only start of Gray's England career came in Bulgaria in 9 June 1999

Having said that, we were unbeaten in my time in the team too as we drew all three games I was involved in.

The trip to Bulgaria was a bit strange as it felt like we were playing in the middle of a forest. We drove through lots of trees to get to the stadium and it was packed to the rafters.

Stoichkov was a legend in his own right. His legs had gone by then but his touch was amazing and there were banners all over the place for him. I was concentrating on getting a result for England but it was nice to be a part of that match.

I couldn't thank Keegan enough for my England experiences. It was amazing to get the call-up. I didn't think I was going to get on the pitch in my first time in the squad so it was just very special.

Keegan is a fantastic man. He made everyone feel so comfortable and welcome. There were no individuals who were treated as special and everybody in the squad was treated as equal.

Keegan said that he got a phone call when he was first called up to the England squad himself but never received one when he was left out of the squad. He said he would never do that to any player and he was true to his word.

I had been in five or six squads and when he came to leaving me out he phoned me to say that he was going for a bit of experience as Stuart Pearce was coming back into the side. I told him I was really disappointed but that I appreciated his phone call. Things like that stick in your mind and he's a true gentleman.

Back to the here and now.

I'm refreshed after two weeks back on the training ground. I feel fit and strong and I'm itching to play at Ipswich on Saturday and hopefully secure a result on the road for the Owls.

I'm in a state of utter shock. I remember Henry getting flak for a 'dive' in the 2006 World Cup to win a free-kick from which France scored a winner against Spain and I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Well, not anymore.

It's not good enough to say 'I handled it, but I'm not the referee.' It's like an admission of guilt from a petty thief when he knows it's too late for the police to arrest him.

The history books will tell you that Maradona almost won that tournament single-handed, and we all know which hand they're talking about. Somehow ,though, you sort of expect little Diego to push the boundaries of acceptability - everything he's done since would suggest that his moral compass never quite knows where magnetic north is.

But Henry? Thierry Henry!

Is it necessary for great French footballers to blot their copybooks with an act of outrageous rule-breaking?

The mighty Zizou will be remembered first and foremost not for exquisite pirouettes, or the fact that he dwelt in a different time zone from any other player on the park, but for the moment when he changed from midfield matador to charging bull.

Still, this is where we're at.

Ngog's attempt at the world record long jump at Anfield left a bitter taste. Not so long ago one Didier Drogba admitted that he simulated the odd plummet for his team's gain (he later refined it in a Buzz Lightyear sort of way by saying something to the effect of it wasn't diving it was 'falling with style').

And now Henry has the cheek to say 'I'll be honest, it was handball'. Honest? It's too flippin' late to be honest, son. The modern excuse is of course 'Yeah, I cheated but it's the ref's fault'. It's the footballers' equivalent of 'society's to blame'.

You're left with the distinctly ugly feeling that Fifa will be smiling all the way to Johannesburg. I mean who wants to watch Dunne and Duff when you can see Benzema and Ribery instead? Well, me, for one. Apart from anything they're a better team, with a far better coach than Domenech.

I'm with Trapattoni when he said: "I go to schools and talk to young children about the importance of fair play, and this happens." I give up, really. I mean I'll be out with me grandkid and a ball this Saturday and we'll be learning some of the basics of football:

1. Push it past the keeper and fall into him. It's more important to get a penalty than to try to score a goal.

2. Ref awareness. Always take note of where the officials are and remember if it's on their blind side you can get away with blue flaming murder.

3. If someone's hands get anywhere near your face, collapse in a heap, clutching said face. Actually even if the hands are somewhere near your ankles, collapse in a heap clutching your face. While you're down there imagine the ground as a lump of pastry mix and yourself as the rolling pin. If no red card accrues, do it again within five minutes.

4. Make sure your fingers are strong enough to grab hold of a slippery polyester shirt even when it's going past you at 25 mph.
Thierry Henry hands France a World Cup place

5. Upon scoring a goal, ignore your own family and go and irritate your opposition's mums and dads instead. Adebayor does this and he's on 170K a week. Just imagine how much you could earn if you're as good as him.

6. Always make sure your manager will back you up in public, regardless of how shoddy your behaviour on the football field is.

7. You might want to learn how to pass the ball to someone on your team. But as long as you've nailed rules 1-6, you shouldn't have much problem.

Richard Dunne's right. We can't carry on like this. There's more cameras at footie matches than you find in your local Dixons and everyone of them has a tale to tell.

I'm fed up of hearing referees getting clobbered for the misdemeanours of some of the cavorting conmen that pass for footballers these days. Let's face it, Zidane would've stayed on the pitch three years ago if the fourth official hadn't been called in.

We have to try using video replays now. It's a must. So what if it slows the game down? So what if conclusions are sometimes difficult to reach? Better that way than trusting the players are interested in playing the game properly. They're not.

I wasn't expecting to be blogging about one of the Premier League greats falling from grace this week. Rather, I was anticipating a drooling chapter on Katy Perry's West Ham lingerie collection. I mean the lad Brand must have her hooked if she's gone to them depths for him.

We missed a trick up here when Christian Karembeu's missus was around. Crikey. Still, I welcome this development whole-heartedly as a way of encouraging more lasses into football. And I'm very much-looking forward to Cheryl Cole's Barcode Bra and Pants Collection.

He had just three outfield substitutes on the bench for last weekend's draw at Bradford but the Cherries boss chose to focus on the fringe benefits rather than his debilitating lack of options.

"There were only 15 players on the coach travelling to the match so we had a lot of room to stretch out," Howe told me.

In conversation he comes across as composed, considered, mature and ever so slightly wary when discussing his team's promotion prospects. In other words, it really is staggering that Howe is just 31 - by some distance the youngest manager in the Football League.

His team are second in League Two, with only goal difference denying them the top spot they have occupied for much of this season.

It is a tremendous achievement when you consider that Bournemouth have a squad of just 19 senior professionals that cannot be easily supplemented by loan signings. In February the club's horrific financial problems resulted in the Football League imposing a transfer embargo that remains in place.

Anthony Edgar is the only player to arrive since then - and his one-month loan from West Ham was sanctioned only after it became apparent that injury problems at the club could seriously undermine their ability to put out a team.

"It has been a problem," acknowledges Howe when discussing the size of his squad.

"Eventually we will have to give some players a rest. We have had players who have picked up niggles but had to play through them.

"The attitude of the players has been first-class - no-one has hesitated to do things that we would not normally ask them to."

Time and again Howe manoeuvres our conversation away from what he has achieved by praising his players.

Howe will acknowledge that his team are "playing football that is easy on the eye" but shrewdly plays down a start to the campaign that saw his team win nine of their opening 10 League Two fixtures. He repeatedly stresses how long there is left in the current season and uses the words "so far" to underline that he is far from satisfied with what has been achieved.

He has been scouting players along with assistant Jason Tindall but there is no immediate sign that the embargo is about to be lifted.

"The frustrating thing is that a lot of players we like will end up going to other clubs," added Howe. "We have a couple of targets in mind but things can change."

Howe's half-brother Steve Lovell, once of Aberdeen, trained with the club during the summer and was prepared to sign as an amateur but the embargo prevented him from doing so. Tindall, twice retired, has been forced into action this season.

Promising youngster Jayden Stockley made two substitute appearances for the club in October but school issues complicate his availability.

"Jayden has his GCSEs coming up and we have to be aware that his schoolwork takes priority," said Howe. I do not imagine many Football League managers experience this type of problem.

Howe's caution is understandable. There are only so many sticking plasters with which to paper over the cracks.

But whatever happens, his first year in management has been sensational.

He took over after Jimmy Quinn was sacked on the final day of last year.

Brought up in nearby Verwood, and a former Cherries player before injury cut short his career, Howe had been in charge of the reserve team for the previous two years. In this regard he had already made the transition from team-mate to coach.

"I was a player when Sean O'Driscoll was in charge and I knew how hard he worked, I knew the job was his life. It has to be if you want to make a success of it," he said.

Financial problems ultimately resulted in Bournemouth starting the 2008-09 season on minus 17 points and when Howe became the Cherries' third manager of that troubled campaign his team were still 10 adrift of safety. To many on the outside his appointment reeked of desperation and, perhaps, a club resigned to the inevitable.

Then-chief executive Alastair Saverimutto even felt the need in January to publicly insist that Howe's appointment was not a money-saving exercise.

Yet Howe pulled off what Bournemouth fans describe as a miracle, keeping their team up by five points.

Ask Howe how he did it and, typically, he will talk about his players, how receptive they were to his ideas and the guts and determination that they showed under intense pressure.

But Howe must take huge credit for ensuring his squad all worked for each other and had the self-belief to prevail. Howe broke the season down into blocks of four games, setting his players targets for each one.

"That can be a problem if you start badly and it becomes an unrealistic target, it can have a demoralising effect," added Howe. "But it really helped us."

Howe reckons he did not have the time to reflect of the challenge of being a manager at such a young age. His focus was almost exclusively on the next game.

At the end of the season he took his wife on holiday and finally had the chance to take stock. What he didn't have was much opportunity to relax.

"Most of the time I was on the phone," said Howe. "You are never away from the job, even in the summer. You are always thinking of things that you have to prepare and plan.

Howe has been impressed with the team spirit at Bournemouth

"But I am thoroughly enjoying it and would not want to do anything else."

Even so, what impact does the labour-intensive job of being a manager in the Football League have on your social life?

"I don't have any mates anymore, all my friends have gone," said Howe before breaking into his easy laugh. "Honestly, you don't have a social life, but in one sense I don't want one because football is the sole focus."

Any spare time is spent with his wife, who Howe describes as "very understanding".

With resources at a premium Howe and Tindall are in charge of all footballing matters at the club, from scouting and assessing the opposition to the conditioning and dietary requirements of the playing staff.

I think a good illustration of Howe's level-headedness came when he said: "I'd imagine that is pretty standard at most League Two clubs. It is great experience for a young man to run a club at this level."

Howe might not have been a League Two manager any more if he had responded to a recent approach from Championship side Peterborough.

"I haven't been here all that long and there is so much I want to do here," he said. "I feel like I have only just started.

"Bournemouth is a club that has run through my life and there is a bond and an emotional attachment. It wasn't very difficult to decide to stay here."

Howe has now been in charge for almost 11 months. I had a look a list on the League Managers Association website of the longest-serving managers in all four divisions. Howe is already up to 51 out of the 92 clubs.

It speaks volumes about the volatility of the profession that Howe, who turns 32 on 29 November, is now in.

Somehow, though, I suspect he will make his way a lot higher up the list.

You can follow me throughout the season at twitter.com/Paul__Fletcher

The light punishment he received from Fifa at the weekend means that now there is nothing to stop Maradona sitting on the bench and standing on the touchline in South Africa.

Then, in the post-match press conference, came the other possible impediment. Maradona has never been equipped for a career in the diplomatic corps. There is little filter between what he feels and what he says, and with qualification in the bag it all came out; all the stress of a difficult few months, all the hurt at the criticism that had come his way - all externalised in a foul mouthed diatribe aimed at the press.

When Fifa announced that it would be taking disciplinary action, the possibility existed that Maradona´s World Cup would be over before it had begun. One potential punishment was a five-game ban, to be served in official competitive matches.

This would have rendered Maradona unable to be on the touchline or in the dressing- room until the semi-finals of the World Cup. He almost certainly would have had to be replaced. What would be the point of having a coach who is unable to perform the function?

So the sword of Blatter-clese was hanging over Maradona - but has now been removed with the levity of the punishment. There is a small fine (just under £15,000) and a two-month ban from football activity - at a time when, with Argentina in high summer, there is little going on.

Maradona learned his fate at a disciplinary hearing in Zurich

A game against Catalonia is planned for late December, and Maradona will have to miss that one. But he will be back in action well before the next Fifa date, in March, when the build-up to South Africa continues with a high profile friendly away to Germany.

Has the incident affected his prestige in Argentina? I think it has, though his prestige would inevitably take a bruising from stepping into the job. In a nation of football coaches his team selections could not possibly please everyone.

Some were shocked by the crudeness of his outburst, and many parents were upset by requests from their children to explain what had been said. Also, offending the press is not usually a sound strategy for making friends and influencing people. He doesn't like criticism? Fine, but he can certainly give it. Local newspapers dug out the quotes from when Maradona had a go at previous national team coaches.

But there is also a section of the press that, in their admiration for him and in exchange for access and interviews, will forgive Maradona anything.

Just as, abroad, there are plenty who forgive him nothing. And so all balance is lost. He's either a deity or a madman who has taken charge of a world-class team and hurtled them straight towards the rocks.

The fact is that he inherited a team which, prior to the resignation of Alfio Basile, had won one of its last seven World Cup qualifiers. Under Maradona, with more difficult fixtures, they won four in eight. We can certainly be critical of some of his selections and substitutions, but there is no statistical basis for sacking him.

And now the Fifa punishment has been light, there is no disciplinary basis either. In fact it was a good few days for Maradona, who emerged strengthened from Saturday's friendly away to Spain, even though his side went down 2-1.

Firstly, the team clearly played for him. Argentina hauled themselves back into a match where they were being over-run. They showed more spirit and attitude than football - at times an excess of spirit when the tackles were flying. The key point, though, is that they did not roll over.

Secondly, Maradona took advantage of the half-time break to improve the side. After the interval, with defence and midfield closer together, it was much harder for Spain to play their way through. At times Maradona has wrecked his own team with bad half-time substitutions. This time, instead of panic changes, he came up with a sound positional adjustment.

Of course, the easier way to play an improved second half is to produce a very bad first one - and Argentina were totally dominated in the opening 45 minutes. I can't remember the last time I saw an Argentina side have so little of the ball. There is plenty of work to be done, because last Saturday's line-up is very unlikely to make a serious challenge for the World Cup.

A back four of Coloccini, De Michelis, Heinze and Ansaldi inspires little confidence, and with Veron rested for this match, there was no-one linking up properly with Messi. I tend to the view that, with a dearth of top class full-backs it might be better to play a back three, and pack central midfield. But that will be Diego Maradona´s decision - and the light punishment handed out by Fifa on Sunday would seem to ensure that he will be the man making the decisions for Argentina in next year's World Cup.

Anyway, rolling on from last week, thanks very much for all your suggestions for our 20 nicest people in sport. This is by no means the definitive list and I am sure there are loads we have missed out but - based on your suggestions, and my original three - this is what we came up with...

Matt Holland was a late addition to the list after coming on as a guest last week. The day had started badly when I discovered there was no ketchup for my early-doors bacon sandwich. (I am a straight down the line red-sauce-with-bacon / brown-sauce-with-sausage man, apart from the one I am currently eating but we were all out of the brown stuff). That said, the dry bacon sarnie turned out to be surprisingly tasty.

Anyway, there are very few pundits who come on Focus and settle in as quickly as Brother Holland did. He went for the jet black shirt and black trouser combination, which is a solid start for your first programme. You can't get any grief for that - no-one can complain about the double-black.

On the subject of trousers, I got an email from a viewer about the grey beauties I wore on Saturday. "Dear Sir, can I take this opportunity to pass comment on the trousers you wore on last week's programme (14/11/09). They distracted me from watching because they were the same colour as the sofa. It looked as though the programme was being presented by a torso. Please don't wear them again."

The Prince of Wales check trousers. Winner or loser?

Well, Mark from Cheshire will be pleased to hear that the editor also had the same reservations about the Prince of Wales check, which has now been relegated to the back of the wardrobe.

I should have followed Matt's example. I was also impressed with how well the former Republic of Ireland, Ipswich and Charlton midfielder responded to the presenter stare. You don't often get to see this as a viewer, but it's a great tool that is very effective on a live programme. It involves the presenter widening their eyes, like a demented owl, to inform the bloke who is currently speaking to button it.

Because it was Matt's first programme, he wasn't on what we call "talkback". As a result, he had no earpiece and couldn't hear the director and editor telling me what was happening next and when we needed to move on. Most regulars - like Lawro and Lee Dixon - love a bit of talkback, which is why the programme very rarely runs over. They can hear the production coordinator telling them exactly how long is left.

On Saturday, we only had 15 seconds to talk about the footage of Elizabeth Lambert fouling everything in sight. I asked a question, Lee made a gag about her being Martin Keown's sister, while Matt, responding to my stare, said just he was glad he had retired. That was it. Perfect. All in all, it was a very solid debut from Matt. I am sure he'll be back.

Talking of the future, we have some tasty interviews coming up over the next few weeks. Joleon Lescott will hopefullly be on this week and then the plan is to do Wayne Rooney next Monday. It's a great time to get him with Rooney Jnr arriving on the scene and following his elevation to the England captaincy for the game against Brazil.

I was reminded of this a fortnight ago when I asked Lord Triesman, the chairman of England's bid to stage the 2018 World Cup, how he thought the bid was going - "much better than our colleagues in the media believe", was his reply.

All of us who would like to see the world's greatest football competition staged in this country again should pray the good lord is right, because this bid is bust if the British media is correct. A dripping tap of negativity became a tsunami of scorn last week when the bid team gathered for what looked like the dictionary definition of a crisis meeting.

But before we get to what happened there, we should ask a more pertinent question: how did a rock-solid bid, which ticks so many boxes, lose the home front?

The 66-year-old has been dividing opinion since he became the Football Association's first independent chairman in early 2008. A background in academia, trade unionism and Westminster politics did not immediately cry out "football man" and his appointment surprised many.

In the interest of brevity, I will skip his first year in charge, stopping only to note the enemies he acquired: his predecessor Geoff Thompson (turfed out ahead of schedule), the Premier League (furious with his statements about club debt), his "friends" in government (they weren't that friendly in the first place) and the media (he was just too good a target).

And that's just the day job. When he also became chairman of England's 2018 bid, he managed to upset these people all over again with a series of blunders that do not matter when people like you but become indictments when they don't.

So, as short answers go, the "it's all Triesman's fault" explanation looks solid.

There is a slight problem with this theory, though. Life at the top of the national game isn't that simple.

There is no doubt Triesman's time in charge has been bumpy, but most of those bumps have been a long time coming. For example, any independent chairman worth his salt would have fallen out with the Premier League at some point. Upsetting Thompson was clumsy, but the man the Mail on Sunday described as a "rumour" was hardly putting in a great shift.

In terms of the 2018 bid, Triesman has presided over mistakes (the make-up of the original board and an unseemly squabble about his pay being the most serious) but most of them have been inconsequential in the long run.

In truth, there is nothing straightforward about a process that brings together English football's estranged bedfellows (FA, Football League and Premier League) for an election campaign that will be decided by characters as diverse as German football great Franz Beckenbauer and Trinidadian football executive Jack Warner.

Winning the right to stage a World Cup is about as easy to grasp as the fifth season of Lost, Mandarin Chinese and Rafa Benitez's faith in Lucas Leiva.

England's bid has plenty going for it - passionate fans, decent infrastructure, great stadia, bags of tradition and so on - and probably warrants its front-runner status. Unfortunately, all of that matters but not as much as it should.

England's bid for the 2006 World Cup looked pretty good on paper, too, but is now remembered as a textbook example of how not to run a campaign because it arrogantly ignored the darker arts of a bidding process.

What really makes the difference to the 24 members of Fifa's executive committee who make this decision next December is (in ascending order of cynicism) what you offer world football, each voter's national federation and each voter himself.

That ranges from selling lots of tickets, to playing friendlies in far-flung places, to trading favours. A bidding country must remember who the electorate is and tell them exactly what they want to hear, when and where they want to hear it.

Thankfully, this message has finally got through.

A bruising month - during which the aforementioned Warner moaned about not being given a plastic bag only to completely lose it when the bid team gave him a £230 designer one - has ended with a clear-out.

Five board members, including the current sports minister Gerry Sutcliffe, have been demoted to an advisory panel, while the government's "envoy", former sports minister Richard Caborn, was not even invited to the emergency summit, which should give you a clue as to his fate.

Going the opposite direction and joining the board is Thompson, who, as a Fifa executive committee member, is the only Englishman who can actually guarantee at least one vote.

A late call-up has also been given to former Arsenal boss David Dein. He does not get a seat on the board, but he will get a chance to boost his air miles by taking the England 2018 message abroad.

These changes do not add up to a "Cassani moment" as neither Thompson nor Dein come close to matching the charm, energy or profile that Seb Coe brought to London's 2012 campaign when he replaced Barbara Cassani, but they will help. And it is worth noting that Coe, who also sits on the 2018 board, was instrumental in getting Triesman and his chief executive Andy Anson to see this.

Hopefully, Anson and his staff can now get on with the job in hand. They need to stop moaning about power struggles at the top and give up on the idea that Gordon "a golden decade of sport" Brown is going to give them any more public money.

A government source told me the PM cannot believe he is taking flak for withholding £2.5m from Britain's richest sport during this country's worst recession, particularly when his government has received few thanks for delivering millions of pounds' worth of guarantees for boring but important items like security costs and free visas.

But that's what happens to politicians when people give up on them: the same does not apply to Triesman, not yet anyway.

England's sales pitch remains strong. It might lack the cash of the US bid, the unequivocal political support of Russia's, the novelty value of going to Australia or Spain/Portugal's powerful friends, but each of those bids has its own weaknesses and none can call on the global popularity of the Premier League.

The careful use of iconic brands like David Beckham will help, too - his expensively-arranged presence in Cape Town next month for the 2010 World Cup draw adds pizzazz to England's bid.

The South Africa trip is the perfect opportunity for Triesman and co to show they have been listening. It is a chance they cannot afford to let slip. Regain the initiative there and today's "handbags" can be tomorrow's fish wrappers.

As well as my blogs, you can follow me when I'm out and about at http://twitter.com/bbc_matt

"Romario, Ronaldo, these were unbelievable players...some of the things they could do with a football made your hair stand on end. Me? I'm not even as skilful as Joe Cole!" Wayne Rooney is not ready to make up the three Rs ahead of England's game with Brazil.

"Apart from the goal I don't think it was a bad performance."
Jermaine Jenas was obviously playing in a different game to the one everyone else was watching, following his comments on England-Brazil.

"I will fly to the Balkans to meet with a female doctor who helped (PSV Eindhoven midfielder) Danko Lazovic.She is vague about her methods, but I know she massages you using fluid from a placenta."
Robin van Persie is hoping his career will be reborn after damaging ankle ligaments while playing for the Netherlands against Italy.

"I've had the impression for days that people have been wearing green on purpose. Maybe it's just my imagination but the other day I opened a can of Sprite, took a good look at it and decided I had to swap it for another drink. The moment I see anything green I think about the Republic of Ireland."
Patrice Evra is feeling a little green ahead of France's play-off with the Republic.

"If you hide behind cliches, we'll be dead and buried by January."
Falkirk defender Darren Barr brilliantly launches a ban on cliches. With a cliche.

"This time last year, I think we came a close fifth in a two-horse race in India, so we need to win the vast majority of games if we're going to be realistic World Cup contenders." Graeme Swann on England's one-day history. You do the maths.

"When we go to work and perform invariably it is in front of thousands. If we don't do our jobs, it gives the opportunity for people to criticise when they have not put their heads over the parapet and tried it themselves."
Mark Hughes addresses criticism of Wayne Bridge by Match of the Day's Alan Hansen - who won three European Cups, eight league titles, and was capped by Scotland 26 times.

"I learned the Welsh anthem at school, I can sing it, don't worry about that."
Chester-born Andy Dorman shows off his Welsh credentials following his call-up for the friendly with Scotland.
Crouchy celebrates Novak's win
"I had the feeling I was playing against a cyborg."
Gael Monfils is not doing the robot dance after losing to Novak Djokovic in the Paris Masters final.

5 live's Neil Reynolds: "What do you like to do on game day here at the stadium?"
Green Bay Packers fan: "Drink."
Reynolds: "What is so special about a game day experience in Green Bay?"
Fan: "The drink."
Reynolds: "But there's some good food out here as well. Is that an important part of the day?"
Fan: "Sometimes it can be. But if you eat too much, you get full - and then you can't drink."
5 live American football commentator Neil Reynolds recounts asking a Green Bay fan what the Packers mean to him and his community.

"Nothing to shred/punch/kick/break/sold my old Slayer stuff...so I thought I'd have a nice bath and now the damn water has gone off...nothing, nada...no pressure at all and it appears it's just in my house as the neighbour's water is fine...so ends a terrific day :( " Addick1965 on the Charlton Life messageboard after the FA Cup defeat by Northwich.

John Inverdale: "So how can England beat the All Blacks next weekend?"
Jeremy Guscott: "Pray...simple as that!"
Guscott has some great advice for the England team preparing to take on the All Blacks! (Jas Singh, UK).

"Terence Newman was like 'Hey, it wasn't me, I was 16 yards away from the play, eating a hot dog, and I'm already in enough trouble for doing that!'."
Greg Brady on 5Live Sports Extra's NFL after Dallas Cowboys cornerback Newman was wrongly penalised. (Stephen F,UK).

"Every time a tournament comes round, they have all these world-class players and a man (Domenech) who seems intent on messing them up."
Republic of Ireland defender Richard Dunne - BEFORE the defeat by France. (Ilyaas Anis, UK).

"Manchester City midfielder Stephen Ireland has claimed that top players tried to sabotage Mark Hughes' rein at the club when he first arrived at Eastlands."
From BBC Football Gossip. Was that because he was trying to harness their talents? (Trevor Trotman, UK).

"The match started five minutes late due to the minute's silence beforehand."
BBC radio commentator on Premier League match. (Geoff Chamberlain, England).

Commentator 1: "Dallas have outscored the rockets 27-12."
Commentator 2: "Yeah, you're not going to beat many teams doing that."
Heard in the NBA game between the Mavericks and the Rockets. Exactly which teams will you beat when you're being outscored?
(Ruairidh Calderwood, Australia).
Next stop Leyton
"We're going to be the Harlem Globetrotters over the next week or so with a trip to Norwich followed by two trips to Orient."
Tranmere caretaker manager Les Parry told BBC Radio Merseyside. I didn't realise Norwich and Leyton were so far away! (Paul Charles).

"Things like that happen in games, and you just have to take it on the chin."
Martin Roberts on Dan Carter's high tackle during the Wales - NZ match. (Mike Leah, UK).

"To lose to a team in the third division can't be considered an achievement."
The 'stating the obvious' award goes to Real Madrid manager Manuel Pellegrini after his team were knocked out of the Copa del Rey by Alcorcon. (Leo oh oh)

Jon Champion on ESPN: "Who do you think will replace the injured Riera?"
Chris Waddle: "Well, it`s not gonna be Gerrard. It definitely wont be Gerrard. I can`t see him coming on."
Champion: "...so Liverpool send on Steven Gerrard for the injured Riera."
Radio commentary in the midweek game at Anfield. (Robokopthe3rd).

"You can hear the hush of expectancy buzzing round the ground."
5 live's Colin Murray before the Chelsea-Man U game.
(KevTheLutonCowboy).

"The England players need to have self-belief in their team-mates."
Heard on Sky Sports' coverage of the England v Australia rugby league final. Well, which is it? (Tim).

"You're not fit to wear the shirt!"
Luton fans to Grays goalkeeper Preston Edwards who, due to a kit clash, had to wear a Luton keeper's shirt. (Niall Kelly, England).

"We hate England more than you!"
Scottish fans to their Welsh counterparts during the friendly in Cardiff.
(David, UK)

"There's only one Benítez!"
Birmingham fans after Christian Benítez equalises at Anfield.
(Dbutler KRO).
Come and have a go if you think you're hard enough
"There's only one Vicky Pollard!"
Forest supporters to a female Bristol City fan being unceremoniously ejected from the City Ground. (Gerrard Spray, UK).

"You need a mortgage for a burger!"
Warrington Fans during their away game at Radcliffe Borough FC.

"You may need a mortgage for a burger, but if your coach driver doesnt move your coach, you're getting charged Council Tax as well!"
Radcliffe tannoy announcer at the above game. (James Heyes, UK).

"Half-time at Eastlands: Manchester City 1 - 2 Burnley!"
Stadium announcer at Stockport County's FA Cup game v Tooting and Mitcham amid huge cheers around Edgeley Park...but I thought we didn't like Burnley?!
(Hannah, Stockport).

"Bay of Picks"
Chicago-Sun Times, after the NFL Chicago Bears lost 10-6 to the San Francisco 49ers in San Francisco. Bears QB Jay Cutler was intercepted (picked) five times.
(Don MacGregor, United States).

"The world came, the world saw and we conquered."
Banner at the match between host Nigeria and Switzerland at the Fifa U17 World Cup final. (Ahmed).

If James McFadden is your major creative force then you're in deep doo-dah. Johnstone, Dalglish, Souness, Gemmill - they all seem a lifetime ago. If you're Scottish, thank the Lord the Home Internationals aren't still on.

Foster did OK - which is to say that he did nowt stupid - but at third choice in the pecking order of apparently squabbling United keepers, he's always going to be a worry.

Shaun Wright-Phillips tangles with Fernandes Michel Bastos
In the absence of Luke Young there were no recognisable right-backs in the squad and Wes Brown did his best to confirm that impression. I mean if we're going to have a right-back who can't defend then at least let's have one who's good going forward.

Brown was so easily bypassed by the speedy Nilmar that you wondered if Wes had something on his mind. Had he left the gas on? Did he bring a bag? And why's that bloke running around like he's just scored from an utterly free position inside our box?

Upson and Lescott made solid (ish) dependable Terry clones of themselves, and Bridge was reliable enough too. We weren't much good in the middle of the park but we really came unstuck whenever the ball arrived at young Wright-Phillips.

His first touch is as deft as a spotty schoolboy on his first date. I want to like the lad 'cos he's always committed. My mate Tony Thompson talks about players who are 'in the zone' and reckons SWP is one of them. He's just not sure it's the right zone. Every time he plays, Lennon and Walcott get better.

Jenas is another frustration. He seems equipped with all the skills - good passer, can burst past defenders, decent shot on him - and yet everything he does betrays a lack of conviction. At one point I thought I was watching the only central midfielder I've ever seen that was playing with his back to goal.

There was one bloomin' awful free-kick he tonked from a central position 35 yards out towards the corner flag and the poor pasty Milner, visibly wilting in the heat, chugged off to try and spare the Spurs man's blushes. Capello was furious.

In fact Capello and Dunga were both pretty irate. It was hard to look at them and not think that they were both auditioning for a part in Tony Soprano's backroom staff. I've never seen two such obvious wise-guys.

Gareth Barry was average (is it me or does he move at half the speed of everyone else?) - and skipper for the night Rooney had one of them evenings where he spent most of his time gesturing hopelessly as another punt sailed over his head.

Darren Bent, on the other hand, hardly gestured at all. In fact he was all for that 'nice idea' thumbs-up strikers give to a midfielder who's just sent a ball hurtling into the stands. I mean what's the point of a having a nice idea if you can't deliver it? I'd love world peace but I don't get out much. Never mind Robbo, thumbs up any road!

It would be easy to say that's Bent's last hurrah for 2010, but frankly, the bloke never got a sniff of anything. I've read pundits saying the service to him could've been better. What service? If he'd have been in a restaurant he'd have starved to death. When he plonked himself on the bench he had the air of a labrador who'd gone out for a long walkies but never found a stick.
Darren Bent was a spectator for much of the game
Milner will make it to South Africa. He looks the part. He works his backside off. And he doesn't panic when he gets a bit of space, whereas SWP is positively agoraphobic.

Capello's Plan A is looking good though: James/Green; Johnson, Terry, Rio, A. Cole; Lennon, Lampard, Barry, Gerrard; Heskey, Rooney. That's pretty much it. You'll have Joe Cole, Beckham, Milner, Defoe, Crouch, Walcott, Bridge, and hopefully Hargreaves and Jagielka to return... it's still not looking too bad.

Plus Brazil were very good. A bit too good. And meaner than padlocks on your pockets. Maicon, who sounds like someone Flash Gordon might take on, was quick to clog Milner when necessary. And Rooney was taken out with merciless efficiency by one of the big hulking centre-backs as he burst through on goal.

I mean, come on, where was the full-back's barefoot keepy-uppies? Where was the hip-swinging sashays by the centre-half? Lucio comes out from the back looking like the Governor of California.

That's not Brazil. I tell you, the rest of the qualifiers for 2010 are in trouble.
In the meantime there was one aspect of the match I didn't enjoy. A couple of numpties in our boozer spent the whole game squawking at every player on the pitch - and suggesting that Capello hasn't got a clue.

Them pillocks we could do without. I mean if Fabio hasn't got a clue just exactly what does George Burley not have?

Unsurprisingly England's under-strength line-up looked like a collection of players. Brazil, meanwhile, looked like a team - and for this, plenty of credit has to go to Dunga.

I've been critical of Brazil's coach in the past and doubtless will be again in the future. For what it's worth, my preference would be for more football and a better range of passing from the central midfield duo.

But pleasing me, or those who think along similar lines, is not going to be high up on Dunga's list of priorities. He goes about things his way, and, with no previous coaching experience, what stands out is the clarity of his concepts. His team consistently seem to have a clear idea of what they are trying to achieve.

The tactics employed by Dunga (left) in Doha gave opposite number Fabio Capello plenty to think about

It was a welcome victory for Brazil because they have been having problems with exactly this type of encounter - when they are superior to the opposition. A full-strength England would have given them more to worry about but might also have been more ambitious and left themselves open.

Away to Uruguay in qualification, for example, Brazil lost the corner count 15-2 but they took their opponents apart on the break to win 4-0. That devastating counter-attack was also working well in Argentina, where they won 3-1 but four times during the campaign they were held 0-0 at home.

Against Argentina it might be seen as normal - against Colombia less so, Venezuela even less and Bolivia is off the scale. In nine away games it was the only time Bolivia avoided defeat, and Brazil's lone clear chance came in injury time.

This is a problem because next year in South Africa, in the group phase at least, opponents are likely to sit back, throw two compact lines of four across the pitch and make sure they do not play into the hands of the Brazilian counter-attack.

Dunga, then, has been looking for solutions. The first was to include a mixed midfielder on the right - on Saturday it was Elano, but Ramires and Daniel Alves are also in contention. This is partly aimed at freeing Maicon to burst forward from right-back with his extraordinary power.

The diagonal pass out to Nilmar on the other flank now gives them an impressive option on the left - and there is balance through the middle as well. Gilberto Silva may not make much of an attacking contribution, but he can hold the fort while Lucio charges up from centre-back.

On an individual basis it was the other centre back who was the success story of Saturday afternoon. Thiago Silva's heart must have sunk when he was not included in the original squad but injuries forced a call up for the classy Milan defender, who showed that he is a serious contender to challenge the injury-prone Juan for a place in South Africa.

Thiago Silva staked a claim for a regular place with an impressive display in Brazil's defence

The centre-back on the left side of the field looks like being a key position because this is the flank where Brazil are most vulnerable. There are two problems, one of personnel, the other of formation.

Brazil used six left-backs in qualification and none of them looked entirely convincing. Liverpool's Fabio Aurelio would have had a great chance to push his claims, but was forced out by yet another injury so on Saturday, it was the turn of Michel Bastos to make his debut. Because he operates in midfield for Lyon, some of the English press seem to think that he was being played out of position. Not so. He is originally a left-back, and was picked in this squad as a left-back. The evidence is, though, that his defensive skills are not good enough.

Whoever plays there is likely to have a hard time. The Brazilian midfield is strongly titled towards the right - a consequence of that option to let Maicon steam forward from full back. The left-back is isolated, with less cover behind him if he chooses to push up.

Now that the ball out to Nilmar (or Robinho) high up on the left has been added to the repertoire, maybe Dunga will seek to balance it out with a defensive full-back on that flank. Shaun Wright-Phillips gave Michel Bastos some awkward moments and an opponent with more collective understanding could have caused him more problems.

The left-back position, then, is something Dunga will have to think about. He's running in to that wonderful Brazilian expression - organising a team is like having a small blanket on a cold night. Cover your feet and your neck freezes, pull it over your neck and your feet get cold.

For the moment, though, Brazil's coach is entitled to sleep soundly. Against England his team showed talent and balance, and a clear idea of what they were aiming to do. The talent comes from the players. The rest is Dunga's department.

Comments on the piece in the space provided. Other questions on South American football to vickerycolumn@hotmail.com, and I'll pick out a couple for next week.

From last week's postbag:

Q) How do you think Chile will fare at the World Cup?
Nick Ford

A) The right decision was made, but it would have been interesting to see them in action away to Germany over the weekend. Chile want to attack, with two wingers and a centre forward. It will be fascinating next year to see if they can do it against physically stronger teams - and whether they can defend in the air as well. Even if it doesn't go well for them, I think they'll be an asset to the World Cup - they will certainly not be one of those teams who clog up the tournament, with 11 players hanging off their own crossbar.

Q) I'm sad about the demise of Brazil post-1982/6. I never thought that I would say this, but I hope that Brazil are soundly beaten in this World Cup as otherwise the sort of stuff that Dunga thinks is acceptable will be perpetuated for another generation.
Mushtaq Rahman

A) I'm sure you'll be disappointed with the column, as I've given Dunga a lot of praise. I do, in fact, have a lot of sympathy for your viewpoint. I'm a purist in this sense, I was brought up to appreciate the kind of football where the players with the most imaginative range of passing featured in central midfield, making the game flow - like Toninho Cerezo and Falcao in 82. I would love to see more of that, especially from Brazil.

Imagine how the game would have developed if Brazil had won in 82. But, on the other hand, while we may talk about the 'demise' of Brazil since then, the trophy cabinet tells a different story. The '94 win ushered in a new period of success. As I mentioned last week, I think there are signs that this model, of closing down central midfield with giants, is showing its age. - and a failure in South Africa next year could well lead to a rethink, which wouldn't be a bad thing.

But when I judge Dunga's work, I can't do that solely by criteria that I bring to the table. His aim is to win matches and titles. He's been doing that, so by his own standards he is successful - though the definitive judgement will come next year.

I do, though, think it's healthy that a Brazil fan such as yourself is not happy just to win. The appeal of football is about much more than what you do - it's also about how you do it. If football was just numbers it would be bingo.

Soon it might be joined by another plaintive howl. "Get your season tickets here, going cheap, no reasonable offer refused."

The Old Firm are currently trying to entice punters to part with their hard earned cash, offering special deals on season tickets.

In the wake of the English Premier league's snub to the Glasgow pair, times are hard and liable to get harder as far as extra revenue raising goes.

The spectre of falling crowds and income is a real and live issue for Celtic and Rangers both.

With Scottish coefficients likely to change in the near future because of poor European performances, the Old Firm duo could find their road to Champions League football much rockier than in the past.

The question may be, have Celtic and Rangers peaked, and are their great days behind them?

Suddenly, what many in the SPL regarded as bumptious Old Firm whining that they were too big for the domestic game and needed to swim with bigger fish in a bigger pond, has been drowned out, leaving them to flounder in the shallows of the Scottish game for the foreseeable future.

Indeed, it may be back to the future for both clubs. While flogging their season tickets at the Barras may be an unlikely prospect, both seem likely to face a future of reduced income from that source.

And they will have to explore better marketing techniques or reduced admission prices, if they are to maintain the size of crowds they've become accustomed to.

Simple supply and demand economics are at play here. Too many seats for sale, not enough demand to buy them.

So, sports socks three for a pound anyone? The customer is now king, and his or her money cannot be taken for granted in the current economic climate.

Reduced income equals reduced wages, equals reduced quality. And while other SPL clubs face similar problems, none have built their supporter base anywhere as high as the Old Firm. So there is much further to fall for the great Glasgow rivals.

All of which could be good news for the rest of the SPL.

Managers like Craig Levein, John Hughes and Mark McGhee would be delighted to have the problems of their Old Firm counterparts.

These guys and the rest of the SPL bosses can only dream of being able to pay 10 and 12 grand a week to players, and yet this season in particular, as one half of the Old Firm cannot and the other half will not pay to bring in the quality of player of yesteryear, the gap between Celtic and Rangers and the rest looks much less daunting than in the past.

SPL chief executive Neil Doncaster has said any change in the top flight must benefit all clubs and not just one or two interests. He is right of course, and the game needs to look afresh, and collectively, at how it sells what is still potentially a very fine 'product'. (how I hate that word when applied to the beautiful game).

With our two football behemoths suddenly facing the kind of problems that the rest of the SPL have been beset with, sympathy for their plight is likely to be limited.

Indeed those who have been told constantly that without the Old Firm they would be like the League of Wales, may now adopt a bolder and harder nosed approach to dealings with them, in order to benefit the many, not the few.

With winter's chill winds approaching, it'll need something special to entice missing fans back to Ibrox and Celtic Park. Reduced prices will help, and so will a cosy pair of socks for those cold Saturday afternoons.

They're going cheap at the Barras, apparently.

Northwich Victoria led the way with a 1-0 win over Charlton, described by one embarrassed fan as "like having a row with your missus in public".

Addick1965 on the Charlton Life messageboard groaned after the game: "Nothing to shred/punch/kick/break/sold my old Slayer stuff...so I thought I'd have a nice bath and now the damn water has gone off...nothing, nada...no pressure at all and it appears it's just in my house as the neighbour's water is fine...so ends a terrific day :( "

I must admit I had a bit of trouble remembering which teams were non-league and which weren't. Seeing the likes of Luton and York cast in the minnows' role seemed quite odd, while I could have sworn Mansfield were in the league last time I looked.

Meanwhile over at the Kassam Stadium (hang on a minute, what happened to the Manor Ground?) the roles were reversed as those perennial giant-killers of old, Yeovil, were sent packing by Oxford, winners of the League Cup a few years back - a dark day I have tried to blank from my memory.

In between winning the heavyweight title and hob-nobbing with Michael Caine, David Haye found time to watch his beloved Millwall take on AFC Wimbledon.

Before the game, Dons midfielder Ricky Wellard was anticipating a rough ride in the Lions' Den, admitting: "I always get a bit of stick from opposition fans - they do a Bianca and scream 'Rickaaaay!' at me."

Sadly for Wellard, Millwall managed to hold on to their lead - unlike Robbie Jackson when the player's namesake was run over in Albert Square.

For Haye it rounded off a perfect three days following his win over Nikolay Valuev. My colleague Honest Frank, who boasts of close ties with the champ (he met him for the first time on Monday) informs me Haye is a mate of Strictly Come Dancing star Jade Johnson and may appear on the show at some stage to lend his support. Frank has already written Brucie's introduction for the boxer..."Let's get ready to rumba!"

In the red corner, Liverpool's season shows no signs of improving after they were held at home by Birmingham. Rafa Benitez's men earned a point thanks to the theatrics of David Ngog - the biggest dive I've seen since reacquainting myself with the local boozer a couple of weeks back.

While Liverpool flounder, Chelsea go from strength to strength, opening up a five-point gap at the top thanks to their controversial win over Manchester United. A series of decisions in the build-up to Chelsea's goal left Sir Alex Ferguson performing his Kevin the Teenager routine on the touchline and he has been sent to his room for the next two games to think about what he's done.

Rooney also got into the act at Chelsea, mouthing "12 men" to the TV cameras - a supposed snipe at the referee - or perhaps he'd just been asked what you would need to lift Steve Bruce.
What do you mean there's no pies left?
The Sunderland boss was pictured on a beach, under the headline 'Bruce Wobblar', looking like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders - or more accurately, inside his tummy. Still, it explains why Darren Bent went missing against Spurs - the gaffer had eaten him.

When Sam Allardyce was sacked by Newcastle last year, Bruce joked: "I am sure we will see pictures of Big Sam in his Speedos walking along a beach somewhere. That won't be a pretty sight." You said it, Brucie.

The former Manchester United defender was more complimentary about Andy Reid when revealing the secret to his midfielder's new slimline look. Bruce explained: "He's stopped putting things in his throat basically - it's quite simple." Ahem.

Reid failed to make the Republic of Ireland squad for the first leg of the World Cup play-off with France, a tie that has seen Pat Rice Evra develop a strange phobia.

The big French defender said: "I've had the impression for days that people have been wearing green on purpose.

"Maybe it's just my imagination but the other day I opened a can of Sprite, took a good look at it and decided I had to swap it for another drink. The moment I see anything green I think about the Republic of Ireland." Must have made for a tough few days out on the training pitch.

Meanwhile, England prepared to take on Brazil without the services of David Beckham, involved in play-off duties of his own with the Galaxy. Thankfully he's seen sense and got the beard-trimmer out, but has suddenly developed a blond quiff.

It reminds me of my mis-spent youth as a psychobilly when I'd follow The Meteors around the country and throw myself into the moshpit for a spot of 'wrecking' - a dance where you thrust your arms out repeatedly in front of you. Only trouble was, I was a foot shorter than some of the real meatheads and ended up getting repeatedly punched in the face. Great days.

Stop press: My boss has just walked through the door and announced that Beckham in fact looks like Jedward. Darnit, why didn't I think of that?

Joining Becks on the England sidelines is Frank Lampard with a thigh strain (incurred because the plane the squad flew in was too small, if you believe The Sun). Lampard's free-kick set up the winner against Man Utd, although the main talking point was the Chelsea fan caught by the cameras casually brushing his teeth during the game. Or Cole-gate as it's now known.
The tooth is out there somewhere
After an appeal on 5 live's 606 phone-in, a man claiming to be the culprit told Spoony: "I was wanting to get to the game and I put it [the toothbrush] in my pocket and forgot to brush my teeth. I thought no one was looking. I always brush my teeth before I go anywhere. I thought no one was looking at me."

Spoony then felt obliged to ask why the fan was wearing sunglasses while the floodlights were on and he replied: "I saw my ex-girlfriend at the game. The reason I was wearing sunglasses was to disguise my face." Yep, that worked.

And finally, the non-toothbrush story of the week involved Liam Gallagher, who pulled on his boots to play in a charity match for Berkhamsted (a phrase no doubt often used in anger when his brother used to reside in the leafy London suburb).

A team-mate said: "He raced up and down the wing and came close to scoring a few times. Then he stayed until 1am drinking and telling stories. He even played the lads some new songs." It's good to know Liam realises the importance of being idol.

Have a good weekend one and all. I'm off to Brixton Academy on Saturday for a spot of Dad-dancing to Carter USM, famed for their 'You Fat B******' anthem. Steve Bruce is not expected to attend.

OTHER STUFF
Franck Ribery scares shoppers
Rio and Kano Karaoke
Sven tissues ad
Sorry, no toothbrush vid - but type 'Chelsea teeth' into a well-known video website and you should get some joy.

Courtesy of Off The Post and Whoateallthepies

Undoubtedly these are difficult times for him having lost a much-loved brother over the summer. Nevertheless he apparently made his decision in February. Aston Villa are said to be annoyed by the enquiry as to his availability but I am not sure they need to be.

Speaking as someone who still occasionally wakes from a euphoric dream in which a fit and fleet Robbo has been plucked from obscurity to replace a shot-shy Lampard or a groin-tugged Gerrard during a vital World Cup fixture - and gone on to curl home the winner from 25 yards - I find it right difficult to understand why any player wouldn't want to pull on that jersey.

Indeed he hasn't played for England since 2005. The fact that he played for Boro for much of that time is surely just a coincidence.

Course, back in my day if you were a full-back it really meant you weren't much good anywhere else. Think Chopper Harris, Phil Neal, Danny Mills, that thick kid at school who was committed to an almost psychopathic degree and could be relied upon to reduce the other team's tricky winger to a cowering kitten. I played there for a while. I've had more fun playing scrabble with just the vowels.

In the late 60s the overlapping full-back was unimaginably daring - like a mini-skirt or a naked musical. Nowadays, your full-backs are your major attackers. They even have their own verb: only full-backs can 'bomb on'.

England aren't blessed in the right-back department when Johnson's not there. When Wes gets close to the opposition by-line he sometimes resembles a toddler running back from the incoming waves of the North Sea.

Young's reasons may well differ from two other recent voluntary retirees: Messrs Scholes and Carragher. The argument that they want to extend their club careers is all well and good but I happen to be old-fashioned enough to believe that a World Cup appearance, potentially in the final, is the pinnacle of a footballer's career.

Both these blokes have suffered from their versatility, mind you. Carragher rarely played at centre-half, Scholes was often shoved out on the left to accommodate less flexible numpties who didn't have the brains to play out of position for a bit. But you can't help thinking an element of their decisions was down to just being a bit narked.

And frankly both of them could've been invaluable to the Fella with the Umbrella as he tried to deal with an untried back four and a misfiring midfield during the qualification matches for Euro 2008. (Always of course allowing for the inevitable sequence of bookings that Scholes would've picked up due to him still tackling opponents with all the finesse of a runaway shopping trolley).

I suppose now Schmiley Schteve is perfecting his Dutch while Capello talks more sense in English than he ever did is a blessing, so perhaps we should thank Paul and Jamie.
Still at least they retired as genuine contenders to the full squad.

Chris Sutton's refusal to turn out for England B a while back was the most self-deluded abstention by any footballer since George Best last turned down a glass of chardonnay. Sutton didn't exactly become the indispensable commodity he imagined did he?
It's not like the good old days
Still, I can't say I'm looking forward to this weekend's friendly that much, despite the opposition. Brazil, under Dunga, seem to have replaced the Samba football with something approaching a military two-step. The two holding midfielders seems right cautious to me, given the talents at their disposal, like wearing two coats in a light shower.

There's no Pato, and Kaka seems to be the only creator left in the side. They've got hulking defenders and the set-piece is their best chance of goals. In fact if Big Sam Allardyce replaced Dunga the only noticeable difference would be the sudden surge in the chewing gum budget.

Even Ronaldo fancies a return to the national team. Seriously, I've nowt against giving a porky lad a run-out, it can't do him any harm, but after the last World Cup, when it looked like he'd been spending too much time with Ronaldo McDonaldo and you could hold a good-sized folk festival in one of his jerseys, he'll just be sending Kaka gaga.

In the meantime I'm quietly encouraged by the number of injuries England regulars are suffering at the moment. In an ideal world Gerrard, Johnson, Lennon, Cashley and Rio will be running into their best form come March and we'll have a squad of revitalized lads taking on the world's best in June. Of course, a niggle in the Wazza metatarsal before Christmas'd be a bonus, not least 'cos United's chances of lifting the Premier League would vanish.

The last thing we want is Capello wading through a sea of crocks come April and Rafa Benitez ringing him up to tell that he thought his injury list was bad.

Of course, if Il Capo is still short of a fully-fit full-back come May, he knows where I am. I may be a holding midfielder by trade (and I hold on for grim flippin' death some Saturday mornings) but I'll answer the call, mate. Any time.

And we may not be too far away from a restructuring of our football north of the border with the introduction of a pyramid system, which would see promotion and relegation into the Scottish Football League.

I touched on this subject a few weeks ago but since then draft paperwork of how the system would work has been drawn-up.

I have to say that in its early stages it looks a little complicated but it would certainly work. It's been suggested that a vote by the 30 SFL clubs could be imminent, although SFL chief executive David Longmuir has warned that the realisation could still be years away.

There are obviously going to be pros and cons for such a drastic change but the fact that the SFL are willing to open up access to the Third Division is a positive step.

I know our chairman at Annan, Henry McClelland, was always very supportive of the pyramid system before we were accepted in to the SFL and I'm sure that won't have changed, even though our place would be under threat.

Football in Scotland has taken a lot of flak recently and it's nice to have, what is in my opinion, some positive news.

Club's willing to accept any proposals put forward to them are going to have to spend a bit of money to have their grounds upgraded and meet the current criteria but hopefully their will be funding in place to assist the ambitious clubs that want to progress.

There isn't a lot of money in the game right now and the financial aspects are a worry for most clubs.

It was interesting to hear that my hometown club, Queen of the South, are looking into the possibility of upgrading Palmerston Park to come into line with the requirements of the SPL.

The Doonhamers find themselves at the top of the First Division and really mean business in their attempts to gain promotion this season.

Queens' home gates have, this season been between 2,000 and just over 3,000 in the league and they attracted over 6,000 when Rangers visited Dumfries in the Co-operative Insurance Cup.

I've always found it hard to understand why there is a requirement for SPL clubs to have all-seated stadium with a capacity of 6,000.

Why force clubs to spend unnecessary finance when the probabilities are they might only ever fill it up when the Old Firm come visiting?

It's obviously more complicated than I'm making out but in simple terms, if the stadium passes the necessary safety requirements does it matter if there are 3,000 or 6,000 seats?

Just down the road from Dumfries, consistency is proving to be a bit of a problem for us at Annan just now after we lost another game on our travels, this time at Forfar Athletic.

Another two disappointing goals were conceded in a crazy five minute spell that left us chasing the game and in the end it proved just too much for us.

We had a few chances in the second half after David Cox scored for the third game in a row but in my opinion it would have been undeserved as we were very disappointing in that first half.

We started brightly enough and had a couple of chances in the first few minutes before we hit self-destruct.

I wasn't happy with my contribution for the first goal and it left me very disappointed after the game.

We've now got some important and winnable matches between now and 2 January, including four at home.

The next couple of months should tell us quite a lot about where our ambitions will lie for the rest of the season.