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Another week, another excuse for Christian to take his top off. Note to Billie Jackson - when we said we wanted more guns in EastEnders, this is what we meant... So, Syed and Amira are moving out of the Masoods in order to... live across the hall from Syed's ex lover. Naturally, Zainab took this news with great restraint and maturity, chucking paint at Christian and attacking him with a roller.

Fortunately, Christian claimed that he wouldn't touch her 'in-the-closet son' but a chance sighting with 'Fight for this Love' playing in the background said different. He pledged to get his man back... but then Amira came begging for his help. We don't want Amira's heart to be broken, but we still want Chryed to be together. Which team are you on??


We abhor identity theft, but sometimes people don't help themselves. Take Roxy Mitchell, millionairess, keeping the code to the Vic's safe in her phone? Letting somebody else set up her internet banking and - horror of horrors - choosing a password that contains no capital letters or digits!? Why not just scribble your pin number on all of the Vic's till receipts and be done with it, Rox? So Danny and Glenda reckon they're going to make off with her millions. Not if we get there first - we know her password as well, Danny (daddysgirl). Race you for em...

GI Jackson reporting for duty

No stranger to open warfare having lived with Carol Jackson for 21 years, Billie is donning the camouflage and hoping to be drafted to a place more peaceful than Albert Square - Afghanistan it is, then. Max pointed out that if he could convince his mother to let him do what he wanted, he'd be more than able to defeat the Taliban. But is Billie serious about fighting for Queen and country? Or is he trying to run away from the guilt of what he's done to Jack?

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