This week on EastEnders: the pain of being Jane

Jane faces the combined might of Ian and.... Lucy (she didn't have a chance)

A truly sobering insight into the reality of being married to Ian Beale this week. It went something like this:

Jane: 'The book club is my one pleasure in life'
Ian: 'Book club's canceled. We're doing a stocktake'
Jane: 'Oh...'

So, Ian's issued a gagging order on the Square to stop Jane from finding out that he conspired with Lucy to get rid of the baby that Jane craved. But how long can he shout "LA LA LA!! WE CAN'T HEAR YOU!!" every time that Dot/Zainab open their mouths? Answer: Not very. So he enlisted the dark forces of Lucy Voldermort Beale who packed Jane off on a plane to Florida sharpish. But not before Masood had a word in Jane's ear...

Masood and Zainab - the end? Plus, Syed hits rock bottom

So... Masood vowed to heal his family 'one hug at a time.' But that was before Syed tried to take his own life (sob!) and Mas overheard Zainab telling Syed she wished he'd succeeded. Syed recovered, but little did he know that while Tam was doing his damndest to cheer his brother up (we love Tamwar), Zainab was throwing all of Syed's belongings on to the street, ready to burn them when Syed got home. Never one to do things by halfs, our Zee. No wonder that Mas is longing to leave Walford with Jane.

Does he really love Jane though? Would they have a chance? Seriously, what do you think?

If you've been affected by any of the week's storylines, help is available

And finally, things we learned this week...

Jay loves In The Night Garden - seriously Jay, how old are you?
And... living with Zsa Zsa is like living with a 'premenstrual Godzilla' (thanks for that Shirley)

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