Re-written Henry 8 blogChristmas greetings loyal subjects! There are those who remind us that Christmas is a time
for family and for quiet reflection, a time when we consider those less
fortunate than ourselves and I say unto such people - shut your fat heads and
get into some true festive spirit before I stick my royal boot up your
sanctimonious arses! To my mind Christmas is all about unwrapping shed loads of
presents and then stuffing one's face full of glorious nosh.
If you think the most
contented lives are led by meek, selfless individuals then boo sucks to that. I
get exactly what I want, when I want it and I'm so happy I regularly soil
myself just thinking about it. If the wife won't let me get my own way, then a
sulk and a tantrum usually does the trick and if that fails then the threat of
violence always works. This year I've commanded Santa to bring me ALL of the
latest games consoles, coupled with the best war simulations available. That's
what this time of year is all about.
But Christmas is also a
time for being reminded of how absolutely marvellous I am. Previous yuletide
festivities have involved vast choirs musically rejoicing at having me as their
utterly wonderful King followed by a rambunctious jousting tournament. Times
are a little leaner this year, so I'm going to have to make do with Katherine
on the karaoke machine doing "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree"
followed by a few rounds of Twister on the front room carpet, which could be a
little fragrant after the Christmas brussels.
Just remember that it's the
receiving, not the giving, and it's the being served, not the serving, that
makes one thigh-slappingly, French-punchingly glad to be alive!
There's lots of different ways you can celebrate Christmas this year, but what better way to relax than watching someone get hit in the face with a frying pan? It doesn't matter if they're slapped, banged or walloped, there's a simple glee in the misfortune of others. And we have a whole host of gleeful moments in the The Story of Slapstick (Saturday, 22:15 on BBC Two). This special show presented by Miranda Hart will take you on a breathtaking journey charting the highs and lows of physical comedy.
To get in the mood, you can already see a host of preview clips on the programme page; from early Lumière brothers right up to the modern day with The Young Ones and The League of Gentlemen. Here's a particularly interesting clip that demonstrates the lengths performers would go to in the name of entertainment. Forget bug eating on I'm a Celebrity, Charlie Drake was knocked unconscious while performing a stunt that saw him dragged through a bookcase in this clip from 1961
Slapstick blog
View the full blog post to access video content. In order to see this content you need to have both Javascript enabled and Flash installed. Visit BBC Webwise for full instructions
BAFTA award-winning actress and comedian Victoria
Wood is back with a Christmas special Victoria Wood's Midlife Christmas (Today,
21:00 on BBC One) and also a making of programme What Larks! (Wednesday, 23:00
on BBC One). If that wasn't already enough to fill you with a warm rosy
Christmas glow, then there's more - on the programme pages you'll find some exclusive extra
material you can watch right now.
You can check out Margaret Mountford's wardrobe
malfunction on the What Larks! page, and here's an exclusive online sketch in
which Victoria tries to choose which coffee to drink - should she go for citrus,
floral, nutty, fair-trade, organic, ethical, full bodied or musky temptation?
It's so difficult these days.
View the full blog post to access video content. In order to see this content you need to have both Javascript enabled and Flash installed. Visit BBC Webwise for full instructions
This page is best viewed in an up-to-date web browser with style sheets (CSS) enabled. While you will be able to view the content of this page in your current browser, you will not be able to get the full visual experience. Please consider upgrading your browser software or enabling style sheets (CSS) if you are able to do so.
© MMIX~RS~q~RS~~RS~z~RS~05~RS~)